Sunday, December 10, 2006

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Seven)

Everyone is looking rather bleary-eyed; it's the seventh, and last day of the Enterprise Christmas Party...

Here in Ten Forward, is Carol Danvers, known as Warbird

"Agent Danvers!" Tony yelled and signaled me to come into his office…
I walked in and took a seat… "Carol, how are you feeling? I know that you are… pregnant."

I nodded, "Yes, it that what this is about?"

"NO, I called you here because well… We have a grand opportunity for SHIELD… We have been invited to the future.. Well to a Christmas Party actually… but I don't want you to go for the festivities, I want you to go as a spy…. Of course Normally, Agent Natasha Romanova would be assigned to this but she is still recovering. SO we want you to go, with cameras and recorders… cease some of that futuristic technology and bring it back…" Iron Man ordered…

So I sent my RSVP and went to my wardrobe… Unfortunately I hadn't bought any Maternity dresses and my dresses were too tight…

I was beamed up… "Welcome to the … Ent.. Ent.. Enter….. to the Ship, Agent Danvers.. I am Lt. Barclay. "

"Hello, Lt.…. Please call me Carol… " I said politely…

As I entered the Party I saw so many.. Vampirella… Logan and Ana…..

I decided it was time for me to go to work… I was certainly not going to have a Merry Christmas with Ana Ishikawa hanging all over my boyfriend and now the father of my unborn…

I slipped out and nearly got knocked over by two teens one was Logan's daughter Laura… think she did it on purpose… While Security was chasing them I took pictures of the engine room… Opened up my book bag and put it in a few gadgets… a tri-corder--- I proceeded to the Medical bay…

I broke into the quarters of one Lt. Cmdr Data… I accessed his computer and recorded and took pictures of his schematics….

Finally I went to the bridge…. Weapons…. Phasers….. I filled my bag and returned to the Party…

The Captain invited me to dance…

"Thank you for inviting me to the Party Captain.." I said…

"Well, it wouldn't be a Party with out you, Warbird." He said with charm, "I hope you are enjoying yourself…"

I patted my bag and smiled, "Enormously."

After the Party I was escort by Lt. Barclay to the transporter room…

"Goodbye Carol…." He grinned as he insisted taking the transporter controls…. As he faded I saw the Captain enter and ask him why he was smiling… and what did he do…. But then I was standing in the apartment I share with Pantha… I rushed to the office…

"So did you get what you were sent for?" Tony Stark asked…

"Yes Sir, the film… recordings… video and more.." I said…. As he examined the film he found it full of Xmas Party pictures, Xmas carol recordings and the video feed was taken by Lt. Barclay of the Enterprise Xmas Party…. "Tony I don't know how… I never set it down I kept them with me at all times… wait I brought items…" I opened my bag and found wrapped Xmas presents from the crew of the Enterprise to me…….. Inside were baby gifts…. I fell slumped in the chair… How did that happen?


Now we'll hear from Paperback Writer

Oh, geez, oh man. I hate being at a party where I only know a limited amount of people! Especially, a party that takes place on a ship for pete's sake! *sigh* But I promised the Captain that I would go and a promise is a promise!

I can only hope that Osquer gets there at the same time that I do. Oh, well. Here goes nothing!

Okay, okay. So far so good. I don't think I've accidentally stepped on anyone's toes - well, enough to cause an interplanetary war. That wouldn't be too good. Twenty-first century Earth just couldn't take on say...the Klingons or the Borg.

I steer clear of Seven - she doesn't seem to be too happy. Must be because of the number of beings she can't assimilate. I find a quiet spot in a dark corner and settle in to watch the people. I do so love watching people - especially when they get drunk. It makes me giggle.

I see the Captain and I wave hello. I don't think he sees me, he's very busy with Dr. Crusher. They both have very full glasses of the bloodwine. No, I don't think I'll be seeing them for the rest of the evening. I only smile gently as they pass by oblivious to most people.

The evening passes very much uneventfully for me as I quietly observe other people on the Captain's ship. I see an argument erupt but from my comfy spot I don't really bother to get up and see who is doing the fighting. However, I suspect from the look of Counselor Troi that it may have something to do with Riker.

Oh, well. I'm sure if I ask around later on, I can get the full details.

Loki appears at my side.

"Having fun, Baby?" he asks me as he sits down. He seems a little drunk.

"How much wine did you have?" I ask him suspiciously.

"Don't know," he says and kisses me. "We should leave."

"You think?" I say teasing him.

"Yep," Loki pauses. "Where's your phat car?"


"Your car. Where is it?"

"Yeah. That's it. Put the drink down," I say laughing. I pull him up and he immediately falls on me. I sigh.

"Do you need help?" Data asks me.

"Thank you. Yes, I do." Between the two of us, we manage to make it to the transporter room - or whatever it's called. "You know," I tell Loki, "This party is going on for days."

But he is already asleep.


And he calls me a lightweight?


As the last few guests come in, I see Padme Amidala

When I received the invitation to the Enterprise Holiday Party, I considered turning it down. After all, it was quite a distance to travel for a party that I couldn’t even enjoy, being pregnant and all. I was also hoping Anakin would be returning from the Outer Rim. I wanted to tell him about the baby in person.

But I totally enjoyed Jean-Luc’s company, and perhaps I’d get to spend a few minutes with Deanna Troi. I had never met her, but had heard so many amazing things about her skills as ship Counselor and empath. Force knows I could use all the counseling I could get these days. So I packed up and headed for the Enterprise.

I arrived a bit late and the party was in full swing. It was alarming seeing the Borg serving food and playing in the band. I’d heard scary things about them. I wandered around a bit before I spotted Jean-Luc and rushed to greet him.

“Padme! It’s wonderful of you to join us. Come, I will introduce you to Deanna.” He led me to a cozy corner and soon Deanna Troi joined me at my table.

We chatted for a few minutes and then she said to me, “Padme, I can sense your nervousness. Tell me what’s troubling you.”

“Oh Deanna, this is a party, you totally don’t have to counsel me now. Maybe we can talk tomorrow? I’ll be staying for a couple days.”

“I don’t mind,” she said, patting my hand. “I know you are troubled. How can I help you?”

I fought back my tears and took a deep breath. “I suppose you know I am pregnant?”


“My marriage is a secret. I am married to a Jedi, and I’m worried we’ll never have a normal life. What will that mean for my child?”

“It’s normal to have those concerns. Although your circumstances may be unique, every mother has the same feelings,” Deanna said sympathetically. The Borg brought her another drink and she was started to slur slightly.

I sighed.

We talked a bit more about hormones and emotions, about focusing on one thing at a time. I started to notice that several Borg waiters kept returning to our table, standing over me and jerking their heads around in that creepy way. Suddenly, one of them extended a needle from their robotic arm and started coming toward me.

“Arrrrggghhhh!!!” I screamed and jumped up, landing a kick to the Borg’s chest. Lieutenant Worf was quickly at my side, with Seven of Nine not far behind. “What is this??” I yelled. “Look at this! I ripped my dress! This is a one-of-a kind!”

Deanna tried to calm me while Seven explained that since I was carrying a Force-sensitive child, the Borg picked up on my energy and were simply curious. Everyone apologized profusely.

Curious. Riiiiight… I decided to cut my evening short and go back to my quarters. The only sober person left was probably Data, and a conversation with him just didn’t sound all that exciting.


And now, here is Lahdeedah

So there I was, moping about moving to Colorado after moping about not liking Washington, when I got the invitation to the Enterprise Christmas Party. So, I load up the kiddies and send them to my alien hybrid sister in New Oregon, leave my migraine inflicted hubby at home to sulk, and don my best little black dress, knowing it's nothing compared to the ensemble Deanna Troi and Beverly Crusher will put on, but does wonders with the bosom... I wouldn't normally go for that sort of thing, but what with Vampirella having had such a strong influence on their fashion choices, what could I do? Not to mention I'm a twentieth century girl without the access of the substantial body-enhancing technology of the future.

I admit to being a little uncomfortable going to the Enterprise Party, since the group is fairly tight-knit. I've only been on a hail-fair-thee-well meet and greets with the Captain whenever he visits my homeworld of La La Land. I decide not to do the typical guest faux pas of bee-lining for the host, currently arguing with the Borg Queen about some detail of the party, while Dr. Beverly Crusher stands by his side, hand on his arm with a plastered smile that warns any female in the room he's so hers.

So I instead sidle on up to Dragonflyfilly. She has had a few kind words for me in the past. "Hi," I say. And she quotes the loveliest line of poetry at me, and I have no idea who it is. I smile briefly, pretending to be smarter than I am, and see a Borg posted as cocktail waitress duty pass by, and pull the first glass I can reach off her/his/its tray. Tomato juice, it would seem, ah, a Bloody Mary. Unfortunately, it's Klingon blood wine. I stop myself from choking and meekly walk off backwards, straight into Data. Ah ha, I can't go wrong here. I pretend I'm part Klingon, and grasp for another bloodwine. Why, I don't know, but it seemed the right thing to do at the time. I decide to make small talk with Data, assured that every strange glance he passes my way is strictly his strange attempt to understand humanity. The bloodwine has warmed my blood, and after Data mistakes me for another android trying to become 'human' I have another and decide to try my luck with the blue lady looking bored in the corner. The bloodwine however, has made me a little happy, and after I compare her to a pastel smurf, ask what shade of play-doh she thinks she's most like, and ask if her antennae picks up any classic rock stations, music begins.

I leap at the chance to start singing Karaoke Christmas Carols.

After a few rousing rounds of the Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, Three Smoking Kings, (We three kings of orient are, smoking rubber cigars…) and Jingle Bells, the Dashing through the Stars in a One-Warp Engine Sleigh, version, a cherub-faced, rosy-cheeked dashing Riker informs me that there there is no Karaoke-Christmas Carol event and would I please step away from the Borg who's arm I've been using as a microphone before I'm asked to leave. After sneaking a quick peck on the cheek (I'm a married woman, not a nun, after all) I giggle, and make a bee-line for Worf over at the hors de 'ouvres table. I pick up another glass of Klingon bloodwine. My fourth of the night, I think, and toast his heritage. He then toasted my heritage. Then Capt. Picard stopped by, and after a quick hail-thee-fairwell to me, we talked him into drinking a toast with us. I was feeling great, it's amazing what a little bloodwine can do to help a gal feel like part of the family. I told Warf and Capt. Picard this before meeting the Borg Queen. You'd think she'd be evil or scary, but I found her to be very friendly and talkative. Anyhow, what with all the singing and dancing, and the assurances by the spooky Borg Seven that I won't be assimilated in any dimensional reality, I had a great time. The only sour note I could find would be the strict rules about leaving the ship while a little tipsy. I was a bit shocked when I woke up in Sick Bay. Nobody will tell me how or why I was there, and Dr. Crusher assured me it was nothing serious, but that perhaps in the future, I should not try to do the ten-step with members of the Borg Collective. Anyhow, I can hardly wait for the New Year's party, what a bash that should be!


A guest just coming in.... Craziequeen

It was nearly Christmas and, to my delight, an invitation to the Enterprise Christmas Party plopped up on my screen.

I dusted off my posh frock, left the Palace in the hands of my servants Clara and Walt, and caught the next shuttle to the nearest teleporter centre.

As my vision cleared, Data moved to greet me off the pad and welcomed me on board. His yellow eyes glittered and he smiled his usual sweet smile. Seven stood behind him looking less welcoming.

‘Everyone is in Ten Forward,’ she said. ‘You’re late, Your Majesty.’

‘I do so apologise, I was waiting for my date.’

Seven looked at the transporter pad and frowned. ‘Perhaps there is a malfunction?’

I smiled ‘he’ll be joining us later, he’s really busy these days.’

Ten Forward was packed with crew and guests. I accepted a Bajoran Brandy from Guinan and searched out my old pal Rashbre. I noticed BobKat nursing a Klingon bloodwine and invited her to join us. All Brits together, eh? I suggested Guinan dilute the wine with a little English lemonade, to make it more palatable for the Kat.

Jean-Luc moved over effortlessly to greet us. I looked for his senior officers, but they all seemed to be occupied either with their dates or helping remove the rowdier elements to the brig. Lwaxana Troi was sipping Champagne with Riker while Deanna frowned from a corner. Seven and Data sat at a table swapping…..well………Data! Worf and Jadzia Dax compared knives at the bar while supping mulled bloodwine.

‘Rashbre, how lovely to see you again! You must be BobKat, cq has told me all about you. Where is your gentleman friend, cq?’ Jean-Luc asked, looking around the room.

‘He’ll be here later, Jean-Luc, he’s working at the moment. Very busy time what with deliveries and everything.’

Jean-Luc caught Geordie’s glance and nodded gently.

‘I have to go, cq. I have a duty to perform presently.’

I smiled and nodded at my friend. ‘We’ll be here, Jean-Luc.’

We supped a few more drinks and danced to the amazing band The Strolling Bones,. Odd band, they look surprisingly alike (grey skin, metal bits here and there), but they can really rock!

As the sound of the band died away to be replaced by the ringing Christmas bells, my date entered Ten Forward.

I rushed to greet him and laid a huge smacker right on his cherry red lips beneath the snow white beard. He chuckled and straightened his red velvet jacket.

‘You’ll be the death of me, cq,’ he mumbled in a familiar voice.


‘I’m doing the Santa thing for the kiddies on board. Why? Who were you expecting?’

‘er, my date……Kriss……’

‘Is he coming in fancy dress?’

‘Well…’ I stammered.

Suddenly Ten Forward was bathed in brilliant multi-coloured hues of light and there was an enveloping sound of bells ringing. It was quite breathtaking.

Then there was the familiar transporter beam and a large figure stepped out into the room, accompanied by reindeer and toting a huge sack over one shoulder.

‘Evening everyone. Have you all been good girls and boys.’

‘Kriss’ I cried with a beaming smile.

Jean-Luc pulled off his fake beard and looked at me in disbelief. ‘Kriss? Your date, Kriss? He’s Father Christmas???’

‘Kriss Kringle’ I replied with a big smile.

Father Christmas, Kriss Kringle to his friends, grinned at me and began doling out gifts while muttering under his breath.

‘Excuse me?’ asked Seven as she accepted her glittery gift.

Father Christmas smiled so wide his face was red with effort and raised his voice so all in the room could hear………..

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."


Now that we've heard from all the guests, it's time for my view of things...


With the Borg gathering, I was certainly getting worried; however, Seven assured me that they had been fully drained in serving Epsilon '23 wine on trays, together with cheesy dips and vol-au-vants. The Borg were all dressed in dinner jackets.

How weird was this?

The guests began arriving. I warmly greeted them. Padme, Nic, and Vampirella I knew well of course, as I did many others. I must admit I was a little nervous of Sky. She and Seven were not the sort one wanted to meet on a dark night, yet were clearly fast friends here.

Lieutenant Commander Ciera asked me to dance, so she and I glided the dancefloor with her while I also kept an eye on the incoming guests.

Jon, Hudson and Queen Galacta were here; I alerted Mr Worf that the brig may well be occupied very soon; he put down his bloodwine and staggered over to be on guard.

When Professor Xavier arrived, Data looked a little confused at first, but after some careful explaining, he was satisfied.

Beverly, always one for a dramatic entrance, made sure the room was darkened, except for a light shining on her as she moved. She wore a blue velvet dress, with glittering rhinestone accents. It plunged right down to her navel. I didn't know where to look. Well, that's not true; I knew exactly where to look!

"Good evening, Jean-Luc." she said in a seductive style; she took my arms and put them around her as we began doing the bosanova.

Deanna had arrived in a black micro-mini dress; Jadzia had a backless outfit on, and the two of them, both old rivals, had started a dance competition between themselves. As ever, it ended in a brawl. Oh dear.

Geordi was dancing with Trisha Lewis; Data had Jennifer Baxter with him. Karena was keeping Wesley out of trouble and the ship safe.

The Strolling Bones, the Borg band had played very well. They started with Like A Rolling Drone, then continued with Roll Away The Drone.

Suddenly, there was silence; the band looked at each other, nodded, and made a space on the stage.

There was a sudden flash, and a figure appeared.

It was the Borg Queen; she was dressed in a red spandex outfit.

She summoned Seven to the stage; she also had a spandes outfit on. The two of them took the microphones and began singing 'Dancing Queen'.

You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Friday night and the lights are low
Looking out for the place to go
Where they play the right music, getting in the swing
You come in to look for a king
Anybody could be that guy
Night is young and the musics high
With a bit of rock music, everything is fine
Youre in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Youre a teaser, you turn em on
Leave them burning and then youre gone
Looking out for another, anyone will do
Youre in the mood for a dance
And when you get the chance...

You are the dancing queen, young and sweet, only seventeen
Dancing queen, feel the beat from the tambourine
You can dance, you can jive, having the time of your life
See that girl, watch that scene, dig in the dancing queen

Everybody clapped; they were really good.

"Locutus!" she called out, "Come up to the stage."

I declined, but could feel pushing in my ribs; it was Seven. She had come down to push me forward.

"The Borg Queen has ordered you to go on stage." she said, "You must comply!"

With a groan, I trudged up there; Beverly was glaring at the Borg Queen with the kind of stare that was sharper than a knife.

The Queen gave me a second microphone. "We shall sing a duet, Locutus."

The band began playing "I've Got You Under My Skin'....

I've got you under my skin
I've got you deep in the heart of me
So deep in my heart, that youre really a part of me
I've got you under my skin

I've tried so not to give in
I've said to myself this affair never will go so well
But why should I try to resist, when baby will I know than well
That I've got you under my skin

I'd sacrifice anything come what might
For the sake of having you near
In spite of a warning voice that comes in the night
And repeats, repeats in my ear

Dont you know you fool, you never can win
Use your mentality, wake up to reality
But each time I do, just the thought of you
Makes me stop before I begin
'cause I've got you under my skin

Beverly was livid at the Borg Queen; she strode up, took the microphone off her, and told her to dance with a drone.

"Take a chance on me, Jean-Luc" she whispered, and sang to me...

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
(That's all I ask of you honey)
Take a chance on me

We can go dancing, we can go walking, as long as we're together
Listen to some music, maybe just talking, get to know you better
'Cos you know I've got
So much that I wanna do, when I dream I'm alone with you
It's magic
You want me to leave it there, afraid of a love affair
But I think you know
That I can't let go

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best and it ain't no lie
If you put me to the test, if you let me try

Take a chance on me
(Come on, give me a break will you?)
Take a chance on me
Oh you can take your time baby, I'm in no hurry, know I'm gonna get you
You don't wanna hurt me, baby don't worry, I ain't gonna let you
Let me tell you now
My love is strong enough to last when things are rough
It's magic
You say that I waste my time but I can't get you off my mind
No I can't let go
'Cos I love you so

If you change your mind, I'm the first in line
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
If you need me, let me know, gonna be around
If you've got no place to go, if you're feeling down
If you're all alone when the pretty birds have flown
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best, baby can't you see
Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me
(Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)

Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me
Gonna do my very best, baby can't you see
Gotta put me to the test, take a chance on me
(Take a chance, take a chance, take a chance on me)

Ba ba ba ba baa, ba ba ba ba baa ba-ba
Honey I'm still free
Take a chance on me..

Beverly gave me a big smile and kiss.

"Happy Christmas, Jean-Luc." she said softly.

The Borg Queen was annoyed and whispered to Seven something about assimilation chambers and Beverly being first in the queue.

Somehow, I think the truce won't last after the party, and things will be back to how they were!


So the Enterprise Christmas Party ends for this year. I'd personally like to thank each and every person who sent an entry. You have done so, so well. I'm really grateful, as all this wouldn't be possible without your well-written pieces.



Anonymous said...

Merry Xmas Captian

Anonymous said...

Dearest Captain, Thank you for the amazing time, I really truly enjoyed myself. I hope that you also enjoyed it. It was so nice to meet so many people who were actually having fun. Even Seven isn't as scary as she'd like us all to think.

I made it back to the Executor without incident and hung up the replicated mistletoe that Data gave me. He explained the significance of the plant so I have taken the liberty of hanging it above the entrance to the bridge... the results have been mixed to say the least.

Again, thank you for the great time and I hope I can convince Lord Vader to reciprocate...don't hold your breath though.

xxs and oos

craziequeen said...

Every good party ends with a sing-a-long......


Excellent idea, Jean-Luc, and thank you for inviting me to your wonderful party.


Professor Xavier said...

Everthing is a bit of a blur after that picture of Ms. Marvel/Warbird.


Anonymous said...

What an amazing party! I'm in awe!

Nepharia said...

The party was truly amazing. I certainly hope you aren't offended that I forgot to send in my Christmas party tale, as I was still sleeping it off in the brig and didn't make the deadline.

Summer Dawn O'Ciardha said...

Why do the Borg like ABBA so much, captain?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Summer, I believe they may have assimilated them some time ago.

srp said...

Here from Michele.
Great party. I especially enjoyed the mixing of two classics... Star Wars and Star Trek.
Happy Christmas to all.......

kenju said...

Whew, that was a long read - but a good one and I am amazed at the level of imagination you all have! It was a great party; I can see it in my mind.
Michele sent me.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Wonderful party, Jean-Luc!

Anonymous said...

Will everyone be able to remember what a wonderful time they had? It's going to be a hard act to follow.

carmilevy said...

Thank YOU, Captain, for taking the time to orchestrate this wonderful event - both online and off. It was a joy to read, and I'm already looking forward to next year's party.

I'm certain Michele is, too.

Anonymous said...

What a great party you had here! Have a great Christmas! :D

Anonymous said...

I'm back and from Michele's this time!

Christi said...

Visiting the party from Michele's! =)

Nic said...

Dearest Captain! I was thrilled to have been invited to the party and look forward to coming aboard next year for another Enterprise Christmas party. You, as ever are the consumate host, gracious, kind and witty. Thank you again for a truly marvelous time! I hope that RW will be there again next year. ;)

Anonymous said...

Captain - The Borg Queen and Seven of Nine singing Abba in red spandex. Haven't laughed that hard in a while! Definitely one of the Hilarity High Points of the evening!!!

Anonymous said...

Happy Christmas, Captain! Thanks for inviting me! It was great fun!


pads said...

Merry christmas captain I am still sleeping off a bear size hangover lol.

Love pads

Anonymous said...

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