Sunday, January 31, 2010

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part Six)



Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

Captain Picard, The Alpha Borg Queen, Deanna, Seven, the Borg Queen, myself, plus Worf and his Security Team are just getting ready to beam over to the Borg Citadel, which has been taken over by the Troi Borg Queen in a coup.

The two Borg sides, the moderates and hardliners are fighting each other in space. As that goes on, we intend to go in, as the Borg Leader knows the Defence Access Codes.



"I do wish you would not go, Jennifer." says Data as he comes to kiss me goodbye, "It is dangerous, "I ought to be going instead of you."

"Don't worry about me, darling." I reply, as I get my black suit prepared and check the power of my multi-phase disruptor, "You know it's time for your monthly diagnostic by Geordi, and besides, if the Troi Queen got hold of you, she'd literally tear you apart."

All of us are in place in the Transporter, and Captain Picard gives the instruction to beam over.

We appear in an empty corrider. The walls have pictures of the Alpha Borg Queen, and her various Borg Queens.

"It's this way." the Leader says, "Be careful, she could have her minions anywhere."

As she says that, five drones appear who look pretty lethal.

"Enemies!" exclaims the Alpha Borg Queen.



While the others are dithering about which strength to use on their phasers, I waste no time and get my mini-disruptors, which are permanantly set to maximum and start shooting.

"Eat this!" I exclaim, and within a few seconds the advancing drones have vanished into nothingness.

"Your Ensign is most effective, Locutus." remarks the Alpha Borg Queen to the Captain.

"Indeed." he replies, "Perhaps you ought to consider Ensign Baxter for the Security Team, Mr Worf?"

"I did ask her some time ago, Captain." Worf replies with an annoyed tone., "But she stated that we were 'too wimpish' for her tastes. Personally I consider her too much of a loose cannon."

"A cannon that works effectively." I comment sarcastically.

The Alpha Borg Queen motions us all to be quiet.

"This is the Throne Roon where I sit." she whispers, "The Troi Queen should be in here."

We all enter, weapons at the ready.



"I am the Alpha Borg Queen" she declares, "And I am here to regain my throne."

However, we find the room is empty. What a letdown!

Suddenly, a number of hostile drones beam in, along with the Troi Borg Queen. I hate surprises like that!

"I don't think so." she declares, "Your day is over."

To be continued....

Saturday, January 30, 2010

TWQ: Comfort Food

We all have comfort food we like to eat when we feel like it. TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about yours.

What is your favourite comfort food? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Bacon & egg sandwich
Sausage sandwich
Cheese on toast
Peanuts

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part Five)

The Bridge of the Enterprise looks rather strange right now.

Not only are the Senior Staff there, but also Seven's employer, the Borg Queen 01 and the Leader of the entire Borg race, known as the Alpha Borg Queen.

The reason for this odd combination is that the Troi Borg Queen and her hardline forces have taken the Borg Citadel in a coup, and she declared herself the new Alpha Borg Queen.  Her predecessor has implored me to help, as she warns that Troi will invade and want assimilations all round. The easy truce we have had in the past will be over.



"How do you propose to attack, Locutus?"  the Borg Queen asks me.

I look amazed.

"I'm not the one with masses of Cubes!" I exclaim, "Your Leader needs to decide how the attack formation should be. We're just here for the ride and a taxi service,"

"That is not so." The Alpha Borg Queen states, "This is the flagship leading the assault in the Citadel. It carries the Borg Leader and her faithful 01 with her."



"So how do we get in the Citadel, your Majesty?" Deanna queries in a somewhat sarcastic way, "Surely you know how it is built?"

"Indeed I do." the Alpha Borg Queen replies, "The Enterprise will be leading a more covert plan of action, while the Cubes engage in battle above the Citadel. Only I know the beam-down codes. The Borg Troi will have overlooked this. We shall go down and take the Citadel."

"Hold on!" I say, "What is the danger risk here? Am I sending them into certain death. I don't want to kit them all out with red shirts like Kirk used to do."

"That will not be necessary." The Alpha Borg Queen says confidentally, "Just get your Security team ready with phasers. The Queen and I will come along and take her by surprise."

"I'd like to come along, Captain." says Jennifer, "My multi-phase disruptor needs some use."

"So would I." Deanna pipes up, "I will enjoy seeing her captured."

The Alpha Borg Queen gives us the co-ordinates, so that she, the Queen, Jenny, Deanna plus Worf and the Security Team are ready to beam down.

I give the instructions and we are ready to go.

To be continued after the TWQ.....

Monday, January 25, 2010

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part Four)



Guest Poster: Deanna Troi, Borg Queen

Oh, glory, glory!

This is truly a day for me to rejoice. I have now managed to take over the coveted role of Alpha Borg Queen from that weakling who was my predecessor. No more appeasing with the humans and going to their Christmas parties. Now that the hardline forces have taken over, there is only one word people need to know... assimilate!

There is no need for people to be booking summer vacations around the galaxy. After our Cubes pay a visit to their planets, vacations will be irrelevent.

Let me tell you about what happened from my point of view. I won't have time to tell you while I'm putting you all into the Assimilation Chamber. It's good that I've managed to find out how to use the Federation Journal. It will come in useful when the entire galaxy is Borg. I can put some recipes on as well.

It was so simple really. My hardline forces all attacked the Imperial Cube where the former Alpha Borg Queen. She scooted off in the 01 Cube with that sympathiser Borg Queen 01. Now I am in the Throne Room of the Borg Citadel.

That 'yes-Queen' really drives me mad. She is a real crawler. Both are far too moderate. Why they went to the Enterprise Christmas Party the year before last is beyond me. Both should have been executed for treason. You wouldn't have caught me wearing a paper hat and dancing the Okey Kokey!

Well, not I'm the Alpha Borg Queen, it's time to start assimilating. I've got the Chamber all ready for excess use.



A drone comes through.

"Set a course for the Dryan System" I command, "I want to assimilate it before dinnertime."

"Pardon me, you Majesty" says the drone, "That may not be possible."

"WHAT! I shout, "Whyever not?"

"Moderate forces are closing in on the Borg Citadel" it tells me, "The entire fleet are closing you. Communications are stating that the Enterprise has joined in with them so that you are removed immediately."

Now I am in a bad mood, and call upon two other drones to dissect the one who bought me the bad news. They'll think twice about doing that again!

Now I look on the incoming forces. Hmm...it WILL be a tough battle.

I'd better get my hair done.

To be continued....

Saturday, January 23, 2010

TWQ: Illness Cures

As I have a cold right now, I thought TWQ (the Weekend Question) ought to look on cures you all use.

When you are not feeling well, what cures do you use to help feel better? Any unusual ones?

My answers are:

* Lots of drinking.

* Lemon drink, plus honey and lemon

* Keep warm

* Cough sweets

* Anadin tablets

* Vaseline on the nose when in bed

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part Three)

Ever since the Alpha Borg Queen, who is leader of the race, and the Borg Queen  have been on the Enterprise,  nerves amongst the crew have been ragged, So have mine.

Seven and her two friends have been striding about the corridors. As soon as any crew member sees them coming, they hurl themselves into the nearest room. I heard that one hid in a Jeffries tube until the three of them had walked past. When Vic Fontaine gave a set at The Sands, our holographic nightclub, the three Borgs came in. It didn't take long for a table to suddenly appear empty for them.

Anyway, we are taking the Alpha Borg Queen and the Borg Queen to a point where moderate Borg ships are due to meet. Right now, there is a scism in the ranks, and hardliners, led by the Troi Borg Queen are trying to take over the leadership. It's essential we don't let this happen. She is a fanatic, while we have a sort of truce with the moderate leadership. We can't let it break up.

The Borg Leader enters the Ready Room.



"Locutus." she comments, "I cannot help feeling a slight sensation of unease amongst those on this ship. They stay well clear of us."

"You've got to understand, your Majesty." I carefully reply, "You are the Leader of a race that has assimilated countless billions. They're not going to be exactly welcomming."

"I understand that." she says, "But the human Jennifer Baxter follows me around in that black suit of her, waving that disruptor around saying such things like "If anything happens to my Data, then this is for you."

"Err..that is a little over the top for her." I answer, "I'll have a quiet word with Ensign Baxter."

Satisfied, she leaves, just as Worf enters, who looks annoyed.



"Captain." he says, "My Security Team are having to work double shifts to accomodate the two Borg Queens. As we are supposed to protect them, we are also having to cater to their every petty whim, as if they are a female 21st century pop singer."

"I know, Mr Worf." I reply, "But we are nearly at the co-ordinates, then they will be off our ship."

Grudgingly, he accepts this and leaves.  The Borg Queen enters.



"Locutus." she says with a smile, "There is something I must discuss with you."

I beckon her to sit down, and she drinks a cup of Earl Grey. She leans forward and holds my hand with her clammy paw. I'm glad Bev isn't here.

"I fear that we may have lost the Borg Civil War." she utters. I look grim.

"Why?"

"The Hive Mind is all out of control." she tells me, "It's like one of your old televisions without the channels tuned. My Leader hasn't accepted it yet. She's afraid to know the truth."

"Well we're at the co-ordinates now." I tell her, "Perhaps your friends have more news?"

The Borg Queen leaves. She and her Leader beam over to one of the Cubes that surround us.

Ten minutes later, the VideoScreen comes on.

"I regret to inform you that there has been a coup at the Borg Citadel." The Borg Queen tells us, "The hardliners have seized control of it and are now running everything. The Troi Queen is in charge"

"What happens now?" I ask.

"Locutus." she says, "You must join us in an attack on the Citadel. We may be able to wrest control before they settle properly."

The staff on the Bridge look to me.

"Very well." I say, "Set a course for the Borg Citadel and we'll be following behind.

"I hope you know what you're doing, Jean-Luc." Bev whispers to me.

"So do I" I quietly reply.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part Two)



Guest Poster: The Borg Queen

Locutus seems to groan after I inform him that I wish the Enterprise to transport the leader of our glorious race, the Alpha Borg Queen.

"Why us?" her protests, "Can't your Borg Cube do it?"

"That is not possible." I reply, "However, I shall let our Leader give you the details."

Beverly Crusher steps forward.



"Hello, Queenie." she says to me.

"Greetings, Beverly." I answer. She is one of the few people I allow to call me 'Queenie' after our alliance on my Borg Cube when she took control of it and helped defeat Species 8472 when I was injured.

"Jean-Luc." she tells Locutus quietly, "Whatever the reason is, it must be a good one. It would be wise to listen."

"Very well." Locutus sighs, "Beam her aboard."

I give the instruction over the comband, and a shimmering light appears.



I bow down and say "Your Majesty." Locutus and the others give a grudging sort of bow after Seven orders them to.

"You may stand" she tells us all, then looks around.

"It is good to be on this human vessel Enterprise again." my Leader observes, "I enjoyed the Christmas Party the other year and partaking in the various pursuits that take place. Sadly, Locutus, this is a serious matter."

"Let's go into the Ready Room." Locutus suggests, "I'll bring my senior staff with me."

-----------

When everyone is assembled, they look to the Alpha Borg Queen, who had her eyes fixed on Deanna Troi.

"As you have heard, the hardliners have been causing  more trouble for the moderate Borg leadership." my Leader starts, "Led by the Troi Borg Queen, they are pressurising and threatening drones to turn against their masters and side with them. A split in the Borg ranks is getting wider, Locutus."

"What's that to do with us?" Locutus asks blankly, "Many would say if the Borg are fighting each other, they have less time for assimilation.."

The Alpha Borg Queen rolls her eyes, as if she explaining something simple to a small child.

"Do you not realise, Locutus?" she says, "If the Troi Queen hardliners mount a coup and win, the position will be very different. The truce you and I have had will end and this entire galaxy will be overrun very quickly. This is the first place they will come."



"Can't you send someone in to assassinate this Troi Queen?" the Bjoran Ro Laren suggests, "A guy in dark clothes, high powered rifle?"

"My multi-phase disruptor would have done a good job." Jennifer Baxter pipes up.

"We should have done a long time ago." I reply, "But now she is too powerful, and has too many supporters"

"So what do you want us to do?" Locutus asks.

"My Imperial Cube was attacked by hardline forces" my Leader continues, "Fortunately, the 01 Cube was nearby and managed to rescue me before it was destroyed. The Troi Queen is searching for the Cube now, she will not realise that I am on the Enterprise."

"What about the Hive Mind?" asks Locutus.

"Fortunately I am able to deny access to them" the Alpha Borg Queen continues, "If you take me to a designated point where moderate Borg forces are located, I can attack the opposition and return home."

"Very well, your Majesty."  Locutus glumly says, as if he has just agreed to a visit to the dentist.

"I shall stay on board as well" I inform him, "As I will need to look after my Leader. My 01 Cube can be maintained by my drones. I hope they won't want paying double time because I'm not there."

To be continued...

Sunday, January 17, 2010

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part One)

"Set a course for the Episilon System, Mr Data." I say in my best Captain's voice, "We have to meet some delegates there in three days.

"Setting course, sir." Data replies robotically. I guess that's the best I can to to an android joke.



"You will refrain from doing so, Locutus!" Seven of Nine commands me, as she strides on to the Bridge, her metal suit clanking as she does so.

"Seven." I tell her, "You can't just..."

"The Borg Queen is about to arrive at co-ordinates 122.874." she says, "You must send the Enterprise there quickly, as she has something important to tell you."

"What is it?"

"That is classified" she tells me, like an FBI agent, "She will inform you when the time is right."

With that, Seven turns on her mechanical heel and walks off the Bridge again.



"What do you think that's all about, sir?" Riker asks me, as he tucks into his second donut.

"I'm not sure, Number One" I reply, "But I think we need to go there. The USS Washington can handle those delegates."

Deanna Troi

"We need to be careful" advises Deanna. "That err... woman can bring a lot of problems."

------------------------

Several hours later, we arrive at the co-ordinates given by Seven. A Borg Cube appears in front of us. I recognise it as Cube 01, the one used by the Borg Queen who employs Seven of Nine.

A figure beams over.



"Greetings, Locutus, hello again Seven." she says when she sees us. "The Enterprise is going to have a very special mission. Transporting the Leader of our glorious race, the Alpha Borg Queen."

I groan. It's not going to be my day.

To be continued...

Saturday, January 16, 2010

TWQ: Things To Do

We all have so many tasks on our 'Things To Do' list. TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks what yours are.

What tasks do you have to do? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Remove the jigsaws from the cupboard and eventually get them donated.

* Use the space there to put DVDs and books there.

* Contemplate vacations and booking time off.

* Remove junk mail in kitchen.

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Jean-Luc's Birthday Party



Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

Though I must admit I've been thinking of the birth of my grandaughter in March, I haven't let the fact that it is Jean-Luc's birthday on the 14th escape me.

All right. Dreanna DID remind me yesterday as I was looking through the Babyclothes for an Amazon website. Don't tell the Captain, please. Our secret?

Quick as a flash, I went to Guinan to see if she could rustle up some sort of occasion in Ten Forward.



"All sorted out, Beverly" she says in that slightly sarcastic tone, "My, the human female mind to turn forgetful when babies are in the air."

---------------

Well, it's all sorted out now. Guinan has got the canapes and vol-au-vants. Jean-Luc will be visiting on the pretext of meeting me here, not knowing the entire crew is here for a birthday speech and singalong..

"Hey, Worf." Guinan calls out to the Security Officer, "Start passing out the canapes."

He looks indignant.



"A Klingon warrior does not hand out canapes!" he declares.

"Pipe down, Worf." Guinan replies, "And get serving, otherwise those bottles of Klingon bloodwine are going to make themselves scarce."

It looks like I've been put as the mastermind behind this soiree. Everybody is coming to me to ask what do do and where to go, and I am directing them like a Gdarian traffic policeman.

T'Pol and Britney come up to me, carrying a parcel.



"Beverly." asks Britney, "Do you think the Captain will like this present T'Pol and I bought him."

I open the box and look in horror.

"Britney!" I exclaim. "That's completely tasteless. Why did you get something like that?"

"Well, there was this website..." she starts..

"You'll have to get something else!" I tell them, "See if you can replicate some old Shakespeare play. There's one made in 2009 with David Tennant and some other actor. He might like that."

"See, Brit." T'Pol says to her friend, "I knew it wasn't right. The Captain is so square. Let's get this boring play."

They scuttle off, and Deanna appears at the door.



"The birthday boy is one his way!" she says quietly, "Ro Laren and Will Riker are just delaying him by showing him some pointless statistics while we get ready."

"All right!" I call out, "Everybody in position."

------

"Number One and Ro." Jean-Luc says in a tired voice, "For the last time, I DO NOT want to see the Starfleet figures of the Great Nebula as viewd by the USS Orion. Everybody has already see..."

"HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!"



Jean-Luc groans slightly, but maintains his diplomatic smile. The Captain has never been one for excessive crowds.

Comes over and kisses me on the cheek.

"I thought we were going to have a quiet get-together for my birthday?" he whispers.



"We shall, at our quarters tonight, Jean-Luc." I tell him quietly, "This is for the crew's behalf, so enjoy it with them. Look forward to later on!"

He smiles conspiratorily as Vic Fontaine leads the crew into a "Happy birthday" chorus.

"Happy Birthday, Jean-Luc." I add quietly when it finishes, "It will be for us both."

Monday, January 11, 2010

Deanna's Broodiness



Guest Poster: Will Riker

I manage to get into the turbolift just as the Captain does. We are both heading for the Bridge.

I stop the lift, and the Cap looks in surprise, as if this is against Starfleet Regulations. Maybe it is?

"Can I have a word with you, sir?" I ask, "It's about Deanna."

"What's wrong, Number One?" he replies quickly, "Is she all right?"



"Err, yes, Captain." I reply hesitantly, as I'm not too keen to discuss it, "Ever since we heard that Ensign Britney has announced she was pregnant, Deanna has grown very broody, thinking she may have been too late."

"Ah.." the Cap replies, "Normally I would advise the two of you to see the ship's Counselor on this matter, but as that is Deanna, it presents somewhat of a problem."

"Doubtless her mother Lwaxana has had a say in it as well." I continue, "She's been urging Deanna and I to get married and have children for years."

"So why don't you?" the Captain bluntly replies, "Deanna might see it as a solution to everything."

"I don't know, sir." I reply, "Everything seemed cosy the way things were, with us sharing quarters. We liked the arrangement."

"Well, only you know what to do, Number One." he comments. With that, he pushes the button and we proceed to the Bridge, keen to get to his Command Chair and cup of Earl Grey.

-----------

Several hours later, I enter the suite I share with Deanna. She is waiting there, wearing one of her skimpy outfits



"Hello, sweetheart." she says seductively, "I've heard thar Ensign Allerain from Engineering is pregnant as well. It seems that everybody seems to be having children right now....sigh."

"Is that what you want, Deanna?" I suddenly say, without engaging my brain, "For us to get married and have children? If that's the case, then..."

"Will." she replies quicky, "Though there's nothing I'd like better, however,  I don't want to do it because my mother wants me too, and that it seems to be the season for the event. Let's have children when the both of us know when the time is right."

"Are you okay about that, Deanna? I ask.

"Absolutely." she says with a smile, "Though I may get a little broody about crewmembers with children,  sometimes, I know you and I can anytime we like."

"Okay then." I say, with a slight feeling of relief.

"That's agreed." Deanna says, as she swallows a Not Tonight pill and slowly unzips her dress, "Still, the method is always fun, isn't it?"

Saturday, January 09, 2010

TWQ: Winter Outlook

Right now, here in Britain, it's one of the coldest periods for thirty years. TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks you what you do in the winter.

What do you prefer to do when the winter weather comes around? Are you in the southern hemisphere where it is sunny?

My answer is:

I don't like snow and ice at all. I fall over too easily, having no sense of balance. I like to wrap up and stay indoors as much as possible. If any snowfalls come, I stay in except for any trips to the office!

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, January 07, 2010

Karena's Illness (Part Three)



Guest Poster: Karena

Now that I've found out that I'm pregnant, and expecting my daughter in March, Wes and I need to tell our mothers. Needless to say I can expect what the reaction is going to be.

As the metabolism of an amazon is different, it is a lot faster than normal female humans. Wesley has just about recovered from the news.



"Congratulations, Ensign." says Captain Erika Hernandez of our starship the Rhode Island. "How long will the maternity leave be that you'll require?"

"None at all." I reply, "When March comes, I will be able to go on all normal Away Missions. I will return to the ship, have the child and carry on with my duties the next day."

"Extraordinary." comments the Captain.

"Not at all." I say, "The amazon has a remarkable ability to deliver a daughter in a very fast time and a swift recovery period."

-----------

My pumpkin Wesley arrive at the videomonitor.

"Who shall we call first?" he asks.

"Queen Diana, of course." I reply, "My daughter will be part of a Royal Family. Her importance is essential."

I hear Wes sigh, but decide to say nothing. The monitor flickers on and my mother's image appears.



"Greetings, beloved daughter. Hello Wesley." she says, "What news do you have for me?"

"Only the best possible." I answer, beaming, "I am with child, and shall be delivering a Royal Princess in March."

"This is wonderful." she declares, "I shall declare today a National Holiday here on Wondawowman. You have done very well, my daughter. Errr.....and so have you, Wesley."

The screen goes off, and we call the Enterprise, and Wes' mother, Beverly appears. Captain Picard is standing nearby.



"Hi Wes and Karena." Beverly says, "You two look like you're bursting with news."

"Yeah, mom." Wes bursts out, "You're not gonna believe this, but..."

"I am with child." I tell her, "I shall be expecting a daughter sometime in March."

Beverly lets out an ear-piercing scream as if she is being tortured, but instead looks gloriously happy, hugging and kissing Captain Picard. I hear him say quietly "At last he's managed to do something right."

The video goes off.

"Well, that's it." I tell Wes, "For the next two months we had better await the arrival of my daughter."

Tuesday, January 05, 2010

Karena's Illness (Part Two)



Guest Poster: Karena

Doctor Ted and I struggle to revive Wesley, who has fainted in the Rhode Island SickBay after he told the both of us that I am pregnant.



"This is against the run of things!" he laughs, "It's usually the expectant mother who faints, especially if she can't remember anything about the time of conception! I remember one time when..."

"Not now!" I say sharply, "Get him on the MediBed. he's coming round now....come on, pumpkin, wake up."



A gruesome-looking Was wakes up, whose skin looks greener than that of an Orion Slave Girl.

"Honeybunch." he croaks, "We're pregnant."

"I don't know about 'we'" I reply candidly, "But I am very much so. I'll be expecting a daughter very soon."

"How do you know it'll be a girl?" Wes asks, "It might be a boy?"

"That's genetically impossible, Wes." I reply patiently, as if I am explaining the Facts of Life to him, "The amazons of my planet Wondawowman can only have female children. It's in our bodily chemistry. Not only that, I will have her in March."

"Oh yes." pipes up Doctor Ted, "Ensign Karena is quite right. She will be having a female child in March, as their race has a fast pregnancy period. I examined her and everything is as she said. My programming for this is quite accurate for this race."

The doctor gives me some shots to lessen the sickness feeling, and Wes and I walk out of SickBay. I'm holding my spear in one hand, and carrying a limp Wesley on my shoulder.

"I'm gonna be a father." Wes moans weakly.

"Yes, pumpkin." I tell him, "But now we have to tell our mothers."

To be continued...

Sunday, January 03, 2010

Karena's Illness (Part One)



Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

"I feel awful again." says my honeybunch wife Karena as we relax our quarters on the USS Rhode Island. "I don't seem to be getting any better."

"You must have had quite a hangover from the New Year's Eve Party." I reply, "I said that drinking all the Eltaran Rum would have your stomach in knots."



"Amazons don't have queasy stomachs, pumpkin." she replies sharply, "We are a warrior race and not meant to be like this. I started feeling ill before the Christmas celebrations, but my strength kept it hidden."

"Then you really need to see Doctor Ted." I urge her, "He will be able to help you.

"I don't think I want to see that holographic projection." Karena mutters, "With that weird sense of humour of his, I think he requires reprogramming."

"That's as maybe." I answer, "But Captain Hernandez says he helps put patients at ease."

"Quite the opposite, I would think." Karena says before grasping her stomach in pain.

"That does it!" I say firmly, something I not usually am as I married the amazonian princess to be her Life Servant. I speak into the COM badge and order the two of us to be transferred to Sick Bay.

--------

I explain everything to Doctor Ted.



"Well, well." he says in a cheerily manner, "We can't have that, can we, Ensign Karena? Get your clothes off and I'll take a few glamour pictures....I mean I'll examine you. That's just my sense of humour."

I definately think the humour of Dr Ted needs re-adjusting. If Karena had her spear with her, she would probably have done it with that!

Ten minutes later, and the Doctor seems pleased.

"Well, you young rascals." he says with a laugh, "We know what you two have been up to when your shifts are over. Ensign Karena, you're pregnant."

All I remember from that point is fainting on to the floor.

To be continued...

Saturday, January 02, 2010

TWQ: Successful Resolutions

As it's the New Year, many of us try to write resolutions. How many of us have kept them, asks TWQ (the Weekend Question).

Have you managed to keep any New Year Resolutions? Which ones did you fail at? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Personally, I've never made any resolutions except to think before saying anything. I do that a lot more now, although it's not always successful!

Now it's over to you...