Monday, September 26, 2011

Jadzia & The Borg Queen Run The Ship (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

While I was commanding the ship during the 'graveyard shift', an irate Borg Queen decided to visit to complain about how Seven was treated. This triviality coincided with a complete power failure  on the Enterprise, with only a basic life support remaining. Queenie and I are sealed on the Bridge, and are the only ones who can possibly restore things to order.


"I wonder what happened?" I say to myself.

"More than likely someone put too many plugs in a power point." Queenie sarcastically comments, before sitting in the Captain's chair.

"What do you think you're doing?" I shout, "I'm the only member of Starfleet here, and therefore am senior to you. I'm sitting there!"

The Queen rolls her eyes and starts to explain slowly, as if to a naughty child.

"The Borg have assimilated many Starfleet personel in nthe past. Captains, Admirals, Engineers...and of course, Jean-Luc himself." she says, "As a result I can call from the Borg Hive Mind all I need to restore this ship."

I'm annoyed at her logic, and grudgingly I relinquish the seat, muttering a few choice comments about the Borg under my breath.

Queenie smiles as she sits in her seat of power.

"All right, Jadzia.", she orders, "Are there any computers that are working?"

"Only this one that monitors life support." I answer.

"Well convert it to a Power Grid Enhancer." Queenie dictates.

 "Will it affect Life Support?" I enquire.

"Probably not." Queenie muses, "But it will only be for a few moments."

I shake my head at her attitude, but carry on with her instructions. The screen continues until a REBOOT message flashes upon it.

"That's good." the Queen comments, as she walks up to me, "Just press return."

I do that and the screen starts on a 10-9-8-7 cycle.

"That's annoying." Queenie says to herself, and gives the screen a whack with her fist. It stops as it reaches 3. All the lights and computers come on, and the doors open. Captain Picard and the other senior staff walk through.

"What would have happened if the cycle had reached 0?" I quietly ask the Borg Queen.

"Oh, the ship would have exploded."  she answers casually, and goes over to hug the Captain in her flirty way, who thanks us both for rescuing the ship from the power outage.

I think I'll keep the information about the ship nearly exploding to myself!


Editor's Note:

The next post will be the 1200th Be there!

Saturday, September 24, 2011

TWQ: Would Not Do

This week, TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks if there are certain things you would not do.

What seemingly routine things would you absolutely refuse to do. List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Eat any Indian food.

*Drink alcohol

*See anything with Ricky Gervais in it.

*Subscribe to Pay Per View

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Jadzia & The Borg Queen Run The Ship (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

This is a rare treat..

Having obtained Commander status, I have been given the opportunity to look after thship and run it from the Captain's chair during the graveyard shift, when most of the crew is sleeping.

All right, I know it's at a time no one else wants to do it, but out there in space, there is no such thing as day and night. We artificially create it here so that people can live naturally. I guess we've been lucky that we have most problems with aliens during the day period. I wonder why that is?

I look upon the video screen whie eating some potato chips; suddenly the sensors spring into life. A Borg Cube is upon us. I alert Captain Picard, who sounds very dozy. Inh the background, I hear Beverly Crusher complaining.

As I wait, a figure beams on to the Bridge,

"Now see here, Locutus.." the Borg Queen begins, "I've had a complaint from Seven that her consiousness isn't being given enough time to......where  is Jean-Luc?"

"He WAS sleeping until you turned up, Queenie." I tartly answer, "It is night here on the. I have woken him up and he'll be with you shortly. I'm Jadzia Dax, and am commanding the ship at this time."

The Borg Queen shrugs her shoulders. "Day and night is irrelevent." she states, "Out here in space, there is no such thing."

Suddenly the ship grinds to a halt. All the lights and computers go off.

"What's happened?" asks Queenie.

"I don't know." I reply, "From what I can tell, there is a systems breakdown with only Life Support functioning. Communications are down, doors cannot be opened, and there is no way to control the ship, except perhaps in here, once we get things sorted out.

"Then that means...." Queenie trials...

"Yes...only we can fix the ship."

Groan. I could have done with a better helper than the Borg Queen!

To be continued after the TWQ.........

Monday, September 19, 2011

Annika On The Enterprise (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

Having done a counselliung session for Annika Hansen, I am now going to have to do one for Seven of Nine, her alter-ego. The pair share the same body as two different consiousnesses, one the Borg drone, the other is the blonde woman we can all see.

"All right, Annika." I say, can you let go for now, so that Seven can talk to me?"

"Very well, Deanna." Annika warns me, "But I tell you, all she does is moan and complain."

Annika closes her eyes, and looks at me in a sterner way.

"She WOULD say that, Counselor!"  exclaims the stiffened voice of Seven, "She might charm people with that blonde hair and eyelashes, but underneath, she is a cold manipulator!"

"Look, Seven." I remind her, "This session was to see how the two of you were getting on with each other. Clearly you are still having some antagonism."

"She always wants to be the one in control!" mutters Seven, "Just because in the mirrir everyone sees Annika, they think I have vanished. Well let me tell you, Deanna Troi, that Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero is well and truly alive."

"I'm sure she is." I say, nodding, and doodling on my pad as I listen to her ranting on.

"Another thing." the blonde complains, although I can see in my mind the aggressive face and Seven still there with her implants, "I am being forced to eat the most disgusting and inedible food. When she goes to Ten Forward, I taste all what she has well. I've told her before, but Annika takes no notice."

I resist the urge to sdmile at this complaint, and merely reply, "I'll have a quiet word with Annika to see if you can compromise your meal times."

"You can be sure that I'll be mentioning this treatment to the Borg Queen next time she visits.." she drones on (hey, that was a good pun!), "I can tell you that she won't be very happy."

"Anything else, Seven?" I ask, although I regret, as it is only inviting a fresh torrent of Borg whines.

"Have you seen the clothes that Annika wears?" Seven mutters, "She wears the shortests skirts possible, and her tops are so revealing, I can tell the crewmen...and a few of the women are leering at her."

I don't mention to Seven that I was going to ask Annika if I can borrow some of her clothes from her wardrobe after this session as I needed them for a date with Will.

"Well, I suppose when her consiousness is paramount, Annika is free to wear what she likes." I offer as a means of explanation. Seven ignores me and gets up.

"This session is just like resistance...futile!" Seven snorts, "Well there had better be changes soon, and strides out.

Drat and double drat! As she was still thinking as Seven, I couldn't ask Annika for some of her clothes for my date tonight!

Saturday, September 17, 2011

TWQ: Signs Of Wealth

TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks how you would be able to tell if someonme has a lot of money.

How would you be able to tell if someone has a lot of money? List as many examples as you like.

My answers are:

* A person goes into a shop with no price tags on the items and does not ask the assistant about the cost.

* Someone says over the phone "I'll have my butler come and pick the items."

* At the airport, he shakes the hand of the security guard who knows him well before walking off to the VIP suite. Outside. a small private jet is being fuelled up.

Now it's over to you..

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Annika On The Enterprise (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

I'm just about to start my latest counseling sessioin with Annika Hansen, who who has a split consiousness with her Borg self, Seven Of Nine. Things started a little bumpily when Annika said she had asked Will for a date. Luckily for him he turned her down, otherwise his life wouldn't have been worth living!

Annika sits down.

"Do I need to take my clothes off, Deanna?" Annika asks me.

I raise an eyebrow.

"I'm a Counselor, not a medical doctor, Annika." I remind her, "Just sit on the couch and relax. Now last time we had a session, you and Seven kept interrupting each other. Can I ask Seven to stay in the background, and then I'll talk to her later, when she is in the fore?"

Annika agrees and I start.

"Now, Annika, howe are you finding the Enterprise."

"Oh, it's great, I really love being here." she answers, "To be in the real world instead of a computer generated one is so different!

With my next question, I choose my words carefully.

"What has it err...been like, living the lives of two people?" I ask, "Who do you sense you are when get up in the morning?"

"It's REALLY hard!" exclaims Annika, "Sometimes I think to myself  when I wake, 'what shall I have for breakfast', and other times it's 'who could do with being assimilated'"

"Oh you haven't started that again, have you?" the person with me says in a different tone, who is clearly Seven, "You've got to give me some space, Annika!"

"You'll get your turn!" Annika says to herself when her consiousness returns, "Just let me talk to Deanna."

After a moment of silence, Annika tells me that Seven won't interfere again until it is her turn.

Throughout our talk, I find out that Annika is really enjoying Astrometrics, and is happy to be a member of the Enterprise crew.

"You've done really well, Annika in coming through a difficult transition." I conclude, "Now if you can rest your consiousness for a while, I'd like to talk to Seven."

This might not be easy.

To be continued after the TWQ.....

Monday, September 12, 2011

Annika On The Enterprise (Part One)

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen

Getting used to a starship like the Enterprise is taking some time, despite the help I've had from many of it's crewmembers. After spending so long in Unimatrix Zero, the real world is something very different. My shared consiousness Seven of Nine, isn't a lot of help and will snort "Humans are irrelevent." at the most awkward times. As a result, it's me that says it.

I have been given Seven's old job in Astrometrics. She does give me tips occasionally, but if she is in a huff, and won't let her come to the fore in my consiousness every now and then, things can get very tricky.

Commander Riker comes up to me. He's not bad looking.

"Hello Annika." she says, "How are you doing on the Enterprise; do you like Astrometrics?"

"Fine, thank you, Commander." I reply, "Do you want to come to Ten Forward with me for a drink, then see the stars from my quarters?"

"Too direct!" warns Seven in my mind.

Riker goes red and nearly chokes on the donut he is eating at the time.

"Err...I'm really flattered." Riker answers, after gathering his thoughts, "Actually, Deanna Troi is my girlfriend, and am devoted to her."

"Such a pity." I say to myself, I think you would have liked my company. If you tire of Deanna, let me know."

"That won't happen, Annika." Riker comments, "But I appreciate the thought. Is it not time for your counselling session with Deanna?"

I look at the time, and head towards the office and knock on the door. Deanna is waiting for me.

"Hello, Annika." good to see you.

"Sorry I'm late, Counselor." I say, "I was just asking Commander Riker out on a date."

"Wrong!" shouts Seven in my consiousness, "Don't tell her that!"

"WHAT!" Deanna replies in a loud voice.

"It was all right." I quickly reply, "He turned me down, as he said he was devoted to you."

"Good job too." mutters the Counselor, "Look Annika, you can't go around asking men out when they are in another relationship."

"I understand." I reply.

Deanna sighs, as she seems to think this session will last a long time.

To be continued ...

Saturday, September 10, 2011

TWQ: Cars Possessed & Desired

What car would you always like to have? TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks you now.

What car do you have currently, and what car would it be if money were no object?

My answer is:

Owned: I don't drive a car, but travel in a Ford Fiesta.

Desired: A 1970's - style Corvette Stingray (below)

Now it's over to you....

Wednesday, September 07, 2011

Jenny & The Baroness (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Lieutenant Britney

With Jennifer Baxter badly injured from a laser blast, and T'Pol tending to her wounds, it's up to me to stop and capture The Baroness, the notorious jewel thief, who has eluded capture so far. She fired on Jenny while raiding a wealthy house while here on Minos III. I've got to stop her.

As I have a blueprint of the house with me, I make my way to the likeliest place she will be. The room where the safe containing all the jewels will be.

I make my way there quickly, but trying not to make a noise, as if I am sneaking back home after a late night with a hot date.

When I reach trhere, I finda black leather figure about to open the safe door.

"Hold it right there, Baroness!" I call out, "I', arresting you for multiple jewel thefts around the galaxy, and also for attempting to kill Jennifer Baxter."

The Baroness turns round and gives me a beaming smile.

"Hello, Britney, I'm so glad you came." she comments, "Have you decided to leave that lover T'Pol and join me? I hope so. You would have a much better time with me than with her, whether we are robbing jewels or alone together."

"I've come to stop you, Baroness." I remind her.

"Don't be a spoilsport." she cheerily says, "Hold this bag while I pour the jewels in them."

I throw the bag on the floor. She getsa up and kicks my Umbrella Disruptor away. Drawing her gun quickly, I manage to pull it out of her hand and throw it to the other side of the room. The Baroness runs after it, but my Disruptor is nearer.

"Hold it there, Baroness."I say, "It's the end of the line."  She stops, and surrenders.


A few hours later, the three of us witness The Baroness in chains, being taken on board a prison ship. Jenny has her leg well bandaged, but is all right.

"No prison can hold me." the prisoner boasts, "I'll be out shortly. Jenny, I'm so glad I didn't kill you. I look forward to our meetings. I also enjoyed seeing you, Britney. Kiss, kiss."

"We won't see her for a long time." T'Pol comments in disgust.

"Don't be too sure." Jenny replies, "That woman is a master manipulator. If anyone can get out, then she can."

"In which case, We'll be ready." I smile.

Monday, September 05, 2011

Jenny & The Baroness (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I am in a shuttle heading for Minos III, where the notorious criminal The Baroness is carrying out a series of daring jewel robberies. Also with me are Britney and T'Pol who volunteered to help me. So far, all they have been doing is playing strip poker in the back while I pilot the ship!


"Put your clothes back on, you two!" I call out, "We are approaching Minos III and will be landing shortly."

I can hear the pair of them trying to sort out which articles of clothing belong to which woman. Eventually, they get it right and come forward, just as we are landing.

"Right then." I say, "I have heard that there is a big party going on tonight, attended by all the rich people of this world. The Baroness is bound to bee there, so let's intervene and catch her in the act."

"Well let's get ready then!" declares T'Pol, who is carrying a fearful looking Distorter. Britney has her Umbrella set to 'kill' and I have my multiphase disruptor. Wearing my leather outfit, so I won't be seen easily in the dark, I'm ready to go.


A few hours later, we are there at the country house, patrolling the grounds from different points. I know I could do with some hot coffee in this line of work.

Suddenly I see a leather-skinned figure jumping around the roof. I know it isn't me or Batgirl.

"Baxter to Britney and T'Pol." I call on my COM, "Target is on the roof. Meet me there!"

It only takes a few moments to climb a drainpipe, jump on to a lower roof, then on to the higher one.

"Stop right there, Baroness!" I yell, "I've got you this time!"

"Well, well." sneers The Baroness, in her best evil villainess tone, "If it isn't my friend Jennifer Baxter. Have you come to join me in the robbery? I'll split the takings 50-50. You know we'd make a great team. We are both the same type. Daring adventuresses with a liking for black leather."

"I've come for YOU." tell her coldly, "You're going to jail."

The Baroness sighs. "Last chance to join me?" I shake my head.

"What a pity." she says, and pulls out a gun before I can move. A searing heat from it hits my leg and I go down screaming. The Baroness leaps away, entering the house.

In a few moments, Britney and T'Pol come upon me, looking horrified.

"She's losing blood rapidly." diagnoses T'Pol quickly, "Jenny won't last much longer. Fortunately, I have some first aid with me and should be able to stem the bleeding. go after The Baroness...but be careful!"

To be continued.....

Saturday, September 03, 2011

TWQ: Odd Online Purchases

This week, TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks about your unusual online purchases.

What unusual purchases have you made online? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Bush hat from Australia

Fair Isle sweater from Denmark

Calendars from the USA

Pressure cooker from Amazon

Now it's over to you....