After The Party

This year, I was determined to wake up after the Enterprise Christmas Party without an enoumous hangover. Before, I've found others like the Borg Queen sitting in my Command Chair looking after things when I got to the Bridge.

Not this time.




"Have these." Bev suggets, giving me a bottle of pills when I wake up in our quarters with a sound noiser than the Notre Dame Cathedral ringing in my ears, "It will completely suppress the hangover you have and return you to normal."

I consume four of them quickly,  and suddeenly feel very different. Alert and bright again.

"Err, Jean-Luc." she says with a worried look, "You were only supposed to have one of those pills. They are largely experimental, we don't know about side effects and..."

"Never mind!" I say, with a spring in my step, "I'm off to look after the Bridge. Wow! I feel so much better now!"

On the way there, I see crewmen staggering around, as if their heads have been hit by a shovel.

When I get to the Bridge,  Riker looks barely awake.



"WAKEY, WAKEY, NUMBER ONE!" I yell out ou, laughing. This causes Riker to suddenly shoot up, hold his head in pain and collapse unconsious.

The Borg Queen, in the Command Chair shows surprise.



"Well I am intrigued." she says, "Usually you are too worn out to assume command and have a massive hangover, so I have to run the ship for a while. You are quite different this year."

"That's because I've had these pills, Queenie." I explain, "I feel I've got a fantastic amount of energy and could stay awake for a week."

"Most curious." she comments.

"Yes, so thanks for helping." I tell her, "But we won't need you to command until I recover this year."

"Very well, Jean-Luc." Queenie smiles, as she gets ready to leave., "Just be careful all your energy doesn't burn up in one go. Your body could wear out very soon."

"That's not gonna happ..." I start to say, before I feel my body falling to the floor, and me ready to board a First Class train to the Land of Nod.

I just about hear Queenie sighing as she turns round and goes towards the Command Chair again.

The Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

No one takes my man away from, me!

The Enterprise Christmas Party had been going well, the usual this and that going on, until the Borg Queen arrived. She has two burly drones with her, who keep me aside while she whisks Jean-Luc on to the dancefloor. He can't do anything about it, and the pair of them have been doing smoochy dances since then.

I have stormed off to my quarters, to get my dress ammunition. Deanna follows me.



"What are you going to do, Bev?" she asks me desperately, "Don't do anything dangerous."

"I'm not going to." I reply, "It's time to break out the Emergency Dress."

"What..you mean...."



"Yes." I say, "If anyone is going to dance with Jean-Luc, it's going to be me."

I free the Emergency Dress from it's wrapping and show it to Deanna. She gasps in amazement.

"Beverly." she comments, when she recovers from the shock, "You can't wear that, It's too short."

"I know," I reply, as I take off my first party outfit and put onthe Emergency Dress "But I'm wearing it all the same."

With it on, I emerge and stride back towards the holographic nightclub. I can tell the crewmen are turning their heads round as they go past.

Finally I walk in and head towards the dancefloor.



The Borg bodyguards look in stunned amazement. Even The Strolling Drones have stopped playing for a few seconds while everyone looks at me.

I walk up to The Borg Queen and Jean-Luc, both who I can tell couldn't believe the outfit I had on. I push the Queen aside and take Jean-Luc in my arms, saying calmly, "Thanks for looking after him, Queenie, I'll be dancing with him from now on."

Queenie has a defeated look on her. I see her say to herself "I can't beat that tonight."

"You must have broken open the Emergency Dress that I've heard so much about." Jean-Luc whispers in my ear as we glide the floor. You look sensational."

I smile as the hours go by. Queenie is forced to dance with Annika who is in her Seven Of Nine consiousness.

The songs the Strolling Bones play from the point I return tend to have a common theme. They play The Mini Skirt Song, Miniskirts In Moscow, Mini Skirts, and also Mascara Miniskirts and Madness.

"I think mini skirts are very much in the Hive Mind right now!" I laugh.

"Merry Christmas, Bev." he says.

"Merry Christmas, Jean-Luc." I answer before we kiss.

The Enterprise Christmas Party (Part One)

"What are THEY doing here." I ask Riker, as the Party is about to begin.

Before Riker can answer, Annika butts in with her Seven Of Nine consiousness.





"The Borg Queen prefers her resident band The Strolling Drones to play in the holographic nightclub, rather than one put together by a computer." she says sniffily.

"Now see here, Seven...." Riker starts to complain.

"It's all right, Will." I tell him, "A live band probably is better, even if they are just Borg drones. If it will keep Queenie placated, then we will go along with it."

The drones set up their instruments. I must say, they look smart in their bow ties and black suits, despite being covered in metal and having an implant over one eye.

------------

Not long after, the guests are starting to pour in. Bev is standing next to me by the piano.



"You look a little tense, Bev." I say to her, "Anything wrong?"

 "No, Jean-Luc." she answers, "I'm just wondering what trick the Borg Queen is going to use to get you away from me so you two can dance all evening."

"Relax, Bev." I tell her, "You and I both have our dance cards full throughout the entire Party...and our names are one each other's"

"Oh, Jean-Luc." see says before kissing me, "You always know what to say."

Worf comes up to me, wearing an evening suit, but still sporting a phaser.

"Excuse me, Captain." he warns me, "I have had warning that the Borg Queen has arrived and will be making her entrance shortly."

"Thank you, Mr Worf." I answer, but before he can say anything, his wife Jadzia Dax whisks him on to the dancefloor where the Okey Cokey is just starting up. Worf looks annoyed at this, and I can lip read his protest to Jadzia that "A Klingon warrior does not do the Okey Cokey!"

Our gay crew officers Lieuternant Britney and T'Pol go over to meet their friends Annette and Amanda, who they met last year. They were the proprieters of the gay bar where the last Enterprise Christmas Party was held.



I do my best not to listen in, but the four of them all talk very loud.

"It's so good to see you two again." Annette says, hugging them, "Thank you for inviting us."

"Well I tried to get the party at your place again, but you-know-who wouldn't let us." Britney answers.

I feel my ears burning at that one.

"The four of us don't get together very often." Amanda adds, "I'm glad you did, "We can get in some serious drinking and dancing done here"

"Absolutely, let's head to the bar." T'Pol comments, "The first round is on us."



"Yeah, what's your favourite?" asks Britney as their voices go out of earshot. Bev nudges me in the ribs as a way of telling me not to eaversdrop.

Suddenly, The Strolling Drones stop their music and play a fanfare of music. Obviously it is to herald the arrival of their leader.

The Borg Queen whisks her way into the holographic nightclub, flanked by two drone guards. She looks around, sees me and heads my way.

The Queen walks up and smiles, ignoring Bev after a cursory greeting and glance. The bodyguards position themselves between me and Bev.





"I'm looking forward to dancing and smooching with you ALL night, Jean-Luc." she quietly says in my ear. As we were lovers when I was assimilated, the Borg Queen has always had designs on me.

"Sorry, Queenie." I answer, "I'm with Bev.".

The Queen looks around, and as Bev is stuck behind the drones, she is not visible. "I see no Bev." Queenie teasingly says, and drags me towards the dancefloor.

While the two of us dance a smoochy number, I see Bev storm off outside, and hear her tell Deanna that she is going to put on an outfit that will put that Queen in the shade.

To be continued.....

1200th Post!!

Editors Note:

My apologies for being absent the last two weeks when the 1200th post was due to come on. Blogger robots incorrectly identified this Journal as a spam blog and deactivated it. I had to appeal to have it properly checked, and was only reinstated today. Without further ado...

-----------------


Phew!

Yes, after a huge amount of problems with alien invasions, but mainly witrh awkward people, this Journal has made it to it's 1200th post.

Don't ask me how it's made it. I would have thougfht it would fall over as soon as it started walking! (ho ho!)

Sorry about the humour, friends, but I had to have a little smile there.

"It wasn't exactly funny, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, who is sitting next to me as I record this.



"Well, I don't know about that." I reply in defence.

"Don't be ridiculous," she laughs, "I've always been sharper and the one who has kept this Journal going. After all, who would want to listen to you if there wasn't a good-looking woman involved with the main character.?"

"I dispute that." I answer, "This is a record of my tenure as Captain of the Enterprise. The others are supporting players who...."

"That is negative." answer a soft female voice from the door. The Borg Queen, who was visiting, walks up to me.



"I agree with Beverly." Queenie comments, your Journal records require that you have a full-bloodied woman by your side. The only discepancy is that it should be me and not a redhead."

"Queenie!" snaps an indignant Bev, "Don't you have a Cube to catch?"

"In a few moments, my dear." she answers, "Clean out a few bedpans while I chat privately to Jean-Luc, here."

"Jean-Luc!" says another female voice from the door, "Are these two women leaving the room? I need to discuss when we can meet in a discreet place."



Natalia, the Deltan Ambassador, who is bald and has endless legs steps into view.

"The ship is just ferrying me to the next planet." she tells me, so I thought I would just have time to..."

I sigh.

"Who are you?" Queenie asks.

"I am Natalia, Captain Picard's Woman." she answers plainly.

"Well THAT is who I am!" the Borg Queen replies.

"You two can get to the back of the queue." Bev reminds them, "Jean-Luc will tell you that I am his Woman and always will be!"

The Video Screen comes on.



"Hiya Johnny!" Toots yells out, "I bribed a guard...don't ask how..to give me some videotime so I can wish you a happy 1200th post. When you're ready to bust me out of the pen, send me a message in a cake, and we can go on the lam together."

I cringe and take a stress pill.

"Hey Johnny." Toots continues, "Who are the floozies with you? I recognise the redhead, but that metallic one ain't gonna win many guys, and the bald dame looks like she was on a Vegas street somewhere."

At this, a furious row row ensues between the four of them. I decide the best course of action is a tactical withdrawal to let them fight it out.

I quietly exit from the room, hearing high-pitched screaming behind me.

What happened to my intentions of putting together a milestone 1200th post?

Ah, well, better luck another time.

----------------------

Editor's Note.

This marks the 1200th Post of Captain Picard's Journal. Many thanks to all those who have read over the years, and I have picked up along the way!

Jadzia & The Borg Queen Run The Ship (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

While I was commanding the ship during the 'graveyard shift', an irate Borg Queen decided to visit to complain about how Seven was treated. This triviality coincided with a complete power failure  on the Enterprise, with only a basic life support remaining. Queenie and I are sealed on the Bridge, and are the only ones who can possibly restore things to order.

---------

"I wonder what happened?" I say to myself.

"More than likely someone put too many plugs in a power point." Queenie sarcastically comments, before sitting in the Captain's chair.

"What do you think you're doing?" I shout, "I'm the only member of Starfleet here, and therefore am senior to you. I'm sitting there!"



The Queen rolls her eyes and starts to explain slowly, as if to a naughty child.

"The Borg have assimilated many Starfleet personel in nthe past. Captains, Admirals, Engineers...and of course, Jean-Luc himself." she says, "As a result I can call from the Borg Hive Mind all I need to restore this ship."

I'm annoyed at her logic, and grudgingly I relinquish the seat, muttering a few choice comments about the Borg under my breath.

Queenie smiles as she sits in her seat of power.

"All right, Jadzia.", she orders, "Are there any computers that are working?"

"Only this one that monitors life support." I answer.

"Well convert it to a Power Grid Enhancer." Queenie dictates.



 "Will it affect Life Support?" I enquire.

"Probably not." Queenie muses, "But it will only be for a few moments."

I shake my head at her attitude, but carry on with her instructions. The screen continues until a REBOOT message flashes upon it.

"That's good." the Queen comments, as she walks up to me, "Just press return."

I do that and the screen starts on a 10-9-8-7 cycle.

"That's annoying." Queenie says to herself, and gives the screen a whack with her fist. It stops as it reaches 3. All the lights and computers come on, and the doors open. Captain Picard and the other senior staff walk through.

"What would have happened if the cycle had reached 0?" I quietly ask the Borg Queen.

"Oh, the ship would have exploded."  she answers casually, and goes over to hug the Captain in her flirty way, who thanks us both for rescuing the ship from the power outage.

I think I'll keep the information about the ship nearly exploding to myself!

------------------

Editor's Note:

The next post will be the 1200th Be there!

Jadzia & The Borg Queen Run The Ship (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

This is a rare treat..

Having obtained Commander status, I have been given the opportunity to look after thship and run it from the Captain's chair during the graveyard shift, when most of the crew is sleeping.

All right, I know it's at a time no one else wants to do it, but out there in space, there is no such thing as day and night. We artificially create it here so that people can live naturally. I guess we've been lucky that we have most problems with aliens during the day period. I wonder why that is?



I look upon the video screen whie eating some potato chips; suddenly the sensors spring into life. A Borg Cube is upon us. I alert Captain Picard, who sounds very dozy. Inh the background, I hear Beverly Crusher complaining.

As I wait, a figure beams on to the Bridge,



"Now see here, Locutus.." the Borg Queen begins, "I've had a complaint from Seven that her consiousness isn't being given enough time to......where  is Jean-Luc?"

"He WAS sleeping until you turned up, Queenie." I tartly answer, "It is night here on the. I have woken him up and he'll be with you shortly. I'm Jadzia Dax, and am commanding the ship at this time."

The Borg Queen shrugs her shoulders. "Day and night is irrelevent." she states, "Out here in space, there is no such thing."

Suddenly the ship grinds to a halt. All the lights and computers go off.

"What's happened?" asks Queenie.

"I don't know." I reply, "From what I can tell, there is a systems breakdown with only Life Support functioning. Communications are down, doors cannot be opened, and there is no way to control the ship, except perhaps in here, once we get things sorted out.

"Then that means...." Queenie trials...

"Yes...only we can fix the ship."

Groan. I could have done with a better helper than the Borg Queen!

To be continued after the TWQ.........

The Assassination Attempt (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen/Seven Of Nine

"Wake up, Annika, wake up, Seven." says a voice I recognise as Beverly Crusher.

My mind feels like it has been through a washing machine and hung out to dry. I'm alarmed that my Borg hive mind connection is no longer working, put it still seems like there is someone else in here struggling to get out.

I'm here, Seven.

What was that?

"What is going on?" I struggle up. Both Beverly Crusher and the Borg Queen are standing next to me.

"Calm down, you have been through a lot." Dr Crusher tells me.

"Calmness is irrelevent!" I shout, "You will tell me what has happened."

I am Annika and am sharing your mind, Seven.

What is happening to me?



"You were the victim of an assassination attempt, Seven." the Queen tells me, "The phaser blast short circuited all your Borg attachments. They had to be removed. You now look like a human again."

In horror at this news, I grab the mirror she was about to give me to see my appearance.



"It's horrible!" I wail, "I look so ugly!"

I don't know, Seven. I think I look kind of cute.

"Be quiet!"

"Seven, who are you talking to?" Beverly asks me. all of a sudden, the other part of my mind gives way.

"Beverly." I tell her, "I don't have much time. I'm Annika Hansen. It looks like I am sharing the thoughts of the drone part of me you know as Seven. Two personalities are now in here. I think that you will have to convince her that we must learn to live together."

"No!" I shout out, "I will not share minds with a human."

You won't have much choice, sweetie.



A bewildered Beverly looks at the Queen, and at Captain Picard, who winced when he heard everything.

"What are gonna do, Jean-Luc?" she asks.

"I'll leave it to you," the Borg Queen tells them as she departs, "I hope you can help Seven."

"Annika..Seven." Beverly talks to me, "I hope we can help both of you."

"Thank you Beverly" I answer

"Thank you Beverly." I answer.

Get out!

The Assassination Attempt (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

The limp body of Seven Of Nine is brought into SickBay, although with all her metal casing, it looks like the scrapyard might have been a better place.

The Borg drone fell victim to the ricochet of a phaser set on 'kill'. A member of Section 31 had infiltrated the ship, and attempted to kill her so that a war might be ignited between the Federation and the Borg. The Borg Queen warned us of an attempt, but the Secret organisation within Starfleet are very clever.

The pile of metal is dumped on the medibed and I begin sorting things out. In a matter of moments, I hear footsteps, and a familiar face appears.



"How is she, Beverly?" Queenie asks, while I remove some stray metal. Where it came from on Seven, I hjave no idea.

"How did you know...?" I asks, "We hadn't had timev to summon you yet."

"You forget the Borg Hive Mind." the Queen answers with a superior air, "As soon has Seven's connection had vanished, I knew she was in trouble."

"It's too early to say." I summise, "The metal casing that made up her drone body may well have saved her life, but....."

"But what?" Queenie asks, knowing that the word 'but' is not good news for her.

"The blast of the phaser short circuited her Borg implants." I answer, "None are functioning. Seven will not have long to live unless...."

I seem to be in the habit of saying sentences without an ending. I think we were all trained to do that in the medical section of Starfleet Academy. In other words: don't say all bad news in one go. Let 'em take it in pieces.

"Unless what?" asks an impatient Queenie.

"It looks like all her implants will have to be removed, so that she becomes just the human she originally was, that is Annika Hansen."

"No!!" screams the Queen, "She is an integral part of the Borg."

"It's either that or she is dead." I tell her in my serious doctor-mode.



"She'll receive plenty of counselling." Deanna informs us, putting her oar in, "It'll be very difficult for Seven to change from being a Borg to human Annika."

"Ah!" exclaims Queenie, as if she has outsmarted us in a game of chess...or Scrabble, for that matter, "We on the Cube can easily fit new implants on to her. Then Seven would ber as good as new."

"Her body is too badly damaged." I tell the Queen, "You need to guide us as to how to remove all the implants before it is too late. She could not have new ones fitted."

Queenie's shoulders sag like a defeated woman whon has just missed the last bargain at a sale.

"Very well." she muses, "Section 31 will have found they have made a bad mistake in crossing the Borg and attempting to kill Seven."

Over the next few hours, every part of Borg technology is removed from Seven with the aid of her former leader.

What will remain when Seven....or Annika awakes?

To be continued after the TWQ......

The Assassination Attempt (Part One)

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

"You must be careful, Seven." the Borg Queen warns me while our minds are linked during my regeneration period in my alcove, "With the information we have received, the secret group Section 31 are starting to create a war between as and the humans after I formulated the peace treaty. You could be a prime target."

"I understand, my Queen." I reply, "I will be vigilant and set my phaser to kill and fire if someone as much as sneezes in my direction."



"Don't be TOO trigger-happy, Seven." my leader advises me, "Locutus says he will try and protect you as much as he can."

"I can protect myself!" I crossly say.

"You may think so." she continues, "But you can never tell where Section 31 personel have infiltrated. They could be behind any corner."

"I understand, my Queen." I tell her, and swich off the connection, about to leave my alcove.

Protection is irrelevent. Anyone who threatens me will be assimilated.

I walk out of the cargo bay, where I am joined by two burly security guards.

"Just for your protection. ma'am." one of them mutters, "Captain Picard is ordering that we stay with you at all times."

I get irritated. "I am going to see Locutus to order him to put you two human gorillas back in your cages."

As I stride towards the turbolift. a third security officer appears.

"Another one!" I bark out, "Don't you people have anything else to do?"



"I'm Lieutenant Jono." the third officer informs us, "I have arrived on the Enterprise, put of the security detail and ordered to replace you two."

"Lieutenant Commander Worf has not informed us of any changes in the detail." one of my security men informs him, "Show me your orders."

"Certainly." Jono replies with a sardonic smile, and gets something out of his pocket. All too quickly, we see it is a phaser set to 'kill'. This is hardly not relevent!

With two zaps, my security men are disposed as as fast as if they were wearing red shirts.

"And now you, Borg infiltrator!" Jono cries out, "A message from the people of Section 31."

My Borg life seems to pass before my eyes as he lines up to fire.

"No!!" says a voice.



It's Jennifer Baxter, who looks as if she is on the way to a holodeck battle exercise. She raises her multiphase disruptor and turns Jono into nothingness. But it's too late; the shot has been fired. I move out of the way, so it hits the wall. However, trhe weakened beam hits me full on and I fall into an inky blackness.

To be continued.....

Queenie's Warning

"Borg Cube on sensors." Data tells me, "A message is incoming. The Borg Queen wants to talk to us."

I roll my eyes. Is she chasing me? I know Queenie has the hots for me, but this is ridiculous.

Her image comes on the screen.



"Locutus." she says firmly, "It is urgent that I speak with your senior staff as soon as possible. A matter has come up that is of grave consequence."

I tell her to beam on board right away.

"I wonder what she wants this time."  Riker asks me.

"I don't know, Number One." I reply, "But when she wants to speak to all of us, it's not good news. When she is just chasing me, at least I know where I am!"

About fifteen minutes later, the senior staff are assembled in my Ready Room. All eyes are on the Borg Queen, as we are curious about what she is going to say.

"A few days ago." she begins, "My Cube was on a routine assimilation mission outside Federation space. We locked on a small transportation vessel. Though there were only a few humans on it, we assimilated them to keep our monthly quota up for the report we give to the Alpha Borg Queen."



"I seem to have lost the thread." Deanna comments, "What is all this leading to?"

"Be patient, Deanna." Queenie answers, "It will all become clear. Now where was I? Oh yes. We were assimilating this small group. One person in particular wasn't keen on it. After his consiousness entered the Hive Mind, we knew why. He was Agent R from Section 31."

Suddenly I look up, alerted to the name of the secret group that operates within Starfleet. "Them? What did he know."

"Apparently, none of them know each other's name except that of Luther Sloan." Queenie answered, "They only get invited to meetings through whispers and notes with invisible ink slid under the door. They even do that for the Section 31 Christmas Dinner & Dance."



"Come on!" urges Lieutenant Britney, "I've forgotten the start of the story already!"

Queenie glares at Britnery and carries on.

"What we ascertained." she tellsa us, "Is recently there had been a meeting of Section 31 top staff. They were looking at suspect people here on the Enterprise who could be trouble to the Starfleet if not dealt with. Those discussed were Locutus, Guinan, Data, Lieutenant Britney, T'Pol and Seven of Nine. In principal, they were very disdainful of the Federation/Borg peace treaty that you and I had set up, Locutus."

Britney almost chokes on her chewing gum when her name is mentioned.

"What do they plan to do?" I ask.

"They want to restart a human/Borg war, Locutus." Queenie answers, "They think as we supposedly don't know they will wipe us out."

"But you DO know." I tell her, "And that will mean the annihilation of billions."

"Precisely." smiles the Queen, "That;'s why I'm here, "Section 31 need to be stopped."



"We have the upper hand." Riker says, "We know they are planning something."

"Yes, Number One, but we don't know what. Queenie, both our forces need to be on alert for any wrongdoing. By the way, should you catch them, you have my permission to assimilate them all."

"Thank you, Locutus." the Queen answers, "But I don't think we want their sort in the Hive Mind. They are far to despicable. We do have standards, after all. Instead, we'll just vaporise them."

"Fair enough" I laugh, as Queenie turns to walk out, back to her Cube.

"Can't have anything disrupting our alliance, can we Jean-Luc?" she whispers huskily out of earshot from the others.

Sigh. She never misses an opportunity.

Queenie's Lecture (Part Two)

Guest Poster: The Borg Queen

Drat, double drat and even triple drat!

I go and arrange this lecture to give the humans so that I can get some free time with Jean-Luc and what happens? He brings the redhead along! I suspect she's come to take sure I don't entice him. She's a smart cookie, as that's just what I would have tried to do. Still, I'm not finished yet.

"Let the three of us have that drink." I suggest. We go along to the bar, and we all drink to togetherness and all that sort of thing. They don't see me slip a powder into Beverly's drink.

A few moments later, the redhead's skin is greener than that of an Orion Slave Girl.

"Are you feeling all right, Beverly?" I innocently ask, "You don't look so good."



"I'm fine." she answers, then suddenly breaks the galactic speed record in her run to the Ladies restroom.

"Maybe I ought to go and help her..." Jean-Luc says.

"I don't think you can." I tell him, "You can't go in the Ladies. She just has a stomach upset. She'll be back to normal in half an hour."

"How do you know, Queenie?" he asks me suspiciously, "That was a pretty fast diagnosis."

"Err...well." I say hurriedly, "The Borg have assimilated many doctors, so the Hive Mind recognises the symptoms. Now relax, enjoy the drink and my company for a couple of hours. Wouldn't you rather chat with me than those stuffy admirals?"

"Well, I must admit, you're right there." Jean-Luc smiles back.



"I miss the times when you were assimilated as Locutus and you were my lover on my Cube." I sigh, "You were such a fine specimen. Could you not just spend a few hours with me in my quarters here?"

"Err...Queenie." I've got to go now." stutters Jean-Luc, "I ought to send someone to see how Beverly is getting on."

"Stop fighting it, Jean-Luc" I say, as I embrace him, "I'm a woman, you're a man, you know what we both want..."

I kiss him with supreme passion. Though Jean-Luc struggles at first, he fails to break free, and eventually doesn't try. He is enjoying it! We caress and kiss before he manages to pulls free.

"Have you got something on your lips to make me succumb?" he asks, "I felt dizzy and..."

"No, Jean-Luc" I say, smiling, "I didn't need to. You wanted to kiss and embrace me."

Suddenly, there's a noise from the direction of the Ladies. The redhead staggers out, holding her stomach.

"There she is!" yells Beverly, "I analysed my stomach contents with my medical tricorder. You gave me some powder to put me out of the way!"

"Oh, it was only a little amount." I say, "Just so Locutus and I could discuss some personal issues. Well thanks for the kiss, Jean-Luc."

"What kiss???" shouts an angry Bev.

"I used some allure on my lips that made him unable to resist, Bev." I tell her, "It was a good job you came out when you did., as things could have gone too far."

"Yes, well." Beverly says quietly to me, "Stop pursuing him. He's my man."

She turns to Jean-Luc.

"Let's go back to the Enterprise and miss the lecture" the redhead says to him, "I need a lie down there. I'm also going to remind you why we're together. Do you remember the outfit you bought me for Christmas?"

Locutus smiles to himself, "I certainly do."

"Good.". She kisses him passionetly while winking at me. The two beam up.

The redhead has a powerful grip!

Queenie's Lecture (Part One)

"I have to what?" I tell the Admiral over the videoviewer.



"You have to attend a lecture on human/Borg relationships given by the Borg Queen of Cube 01" Bullock told me, "I understand you know this creature."

"Yes I do." I reminded him, "The first time we met, she assimulated me, had a love affair with me. After that, with me human again, she has been chasing after me."

"Well just watch your step, Picard." Admiral says, "We don't want to lose ant Captains, "They cost too much to train."

I pretend that I didn't hear that and switch the viewer off. I go and tell Bev what has happened.



"You're going to what?" Bev exclaims in astonishment, "You realise that Queenie has probably only concocted this lecture as a chance to get to see you?"

"You may be right." I tell her,  "What can I do?"

"I can come along with you." she suggested.

"What? As my chaperone?"

"You could say that, Jean-Luc." she smiled. "It would definately put a damper on her chances."

Several hours later, we are in the queue to meat the Borg Queen on Starbase 7.



"Hello, Locutus." Queenie says to me softly, "I hope we can find the time to have a quiet drink together."

"Sure, we'll love that." pipes up Bev who was standing behind me. The Borg Queen looks shocked.

"Beverly?" she says confusingly, "I didn't know you were on the Guest List?"

I kind of invited myself, Queenie." Bev sharply says, "Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Of course." an enraged Queen answers through her gritted teeth, "Let's go an have that drink."

I think Bev needs to be careful. The Borg Queen would like to keep her away from my side for a few hours so she can be with me.

To be continued.......

Serving Two Masters

"She's WHAT!" yelled Admiral Bullock over the video in my Ready Room. He is so loud I have to turn the volume button.

Bullock goes and has a drink of whisky, then sits down in front of the viewer.



"Now look, Picard." Bullock informs me in seething calmness, "It was all very well allowing Seven Of Nine to take the Starfleet Entrance Exam to try and become an Ensign. It looks very diplomatic, smooths over any problems.....but she wasn't supposed to pass!!"

"But she did, sir." I answer, "She got 100%"

"You should have faked the answers so she didn't pass!" the Admiral angrily tells me, "We can't have the enemy serving in Starfleet."

"I'm sure she will be very loyal, sir." I tell him, "As an Ensign, she will do what I say."

"You mean what the Borg Queen says!" Bullock snaps back, "Did it never occur to you to think what Seven of Nine will do if the Enterprise has to come up against a Borg invasion? You'll be the first to to get shot with her phaser on 'kill'."

For the first time I look worried, and tell the Admiral I will sort it out. I summon Seven to the Ready Room and set up a video link to Borg Cube 01, where the Borg Queen is.



"Hello, Jean-Luc" she tells me in a very feminine voice, "What a pleasure it is to hear from you. It has only been a couple of days since we last conversed. Have you dumped that Beverly Crusher and decided you want me instead?"

"No, Queenie, I have a serious problem.

"Well perhaps a Borg implant might help you?"

"No!" I answer, "It's about Seven Of Nine.". As the drone enters, I explain to them both the difficulty that Admiral Bullock has placed me in.



"He should be assimilated!" sneers Seven, "He is preventing me becoming an Ensign."

"I think we have to consider another solution." Queenie comments over the link. "How about these parameters: Seven is ordered to do everything that Locutus commands her to do, regardless of whether it is detrimental to the Borg race. However, when she is on leave, Seven will report to me."

"What about classified Starfleet secrets?" I ask, "The Hive Mind will know about it."

"That can be adjusted." Queenie tells me, "I can make sure that Seven still gets access to the Hive Mind, but her thoughts will not go to it. Nor will I ask Seven about secrets."

A video contract is drawn up and Seven goes out of the Ready Roon to resume her new Ensign duties.

"Thank you for sorting that out, Queenie." I say, smiling at her on trhe video viewer.

"That helped us both out." she replies, "Incidentally, there is a charming French restaurant on a planet we've just assimilated. Would you like to go there with me for dinner and who knows what afterwards?"

"Sorry, Queenie." I say quickly, "The Enterprise has a mission elsewhere."

"Another time, Jean-Luc." the Borg Queen says with a sly smile.

I switch the monitor off hurriedly.

Seven In Starfleet (Part Three)

Editor's Note:


Apologies for not putting the TWQ in over the weekend. I thought Ialready had.

-----------




Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

For the first time since I was a Borg, I am totally alone.

I am no longer in connection with the Borg Hive Mind. This has been done by the Queen so that I can sit my Entrance Exam into Starfleet as an Ensign. Locutus has said that if I were connected, I would have been able the access the minds of Stasrfleet Officers that we have assimilated in the past.

Eventually, I pull myself together and get used to the idea that it is just my thought in my mind and no one else's. I can no longer her the Borg Rolling News Channel, for example.

On entering the Exam room, Deanna Troi is there to greet me.



"Hello, Seven." she says cheerily, "Are you ready for your big day?"

I nod, and sit down; the Counselor approaches me.

"Now then......sorry Seven, you can't have that!"

She gets a wet towel and rubs off the crib sheet answers that I have written underneath my arm..

Drat!

"Now, Seven." she tells me, "I'm sure you don't need that. As the exam hadn't started, I won't say anything to Captain Picard. You can pass this exam on your own. You don't need any help."

"Then you come and do it." I answer sarcastically.

Deanna giggles, and places the paper down in front of me, face down.

NAME: It states.

I write 'Seven Of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix Zero-One', although there is not much room to put this down

Several questions are relatively simple, due to my experience on the Enterprise, and write them down quickly. This is terrible. I am having to think like a human, rather than a Borg. I hope I'm reconnected really soon.

Here is one question.."You are in command of a starship and you come across an enemy ship. What do you do?' I am about to write 'Tell them they will be assimilated as resistance is futile, or if it is a Borg ship, surrender willingly' when I realise that this may not be the answer. Instead, I put a typically Starfleet answer which I find repellant, to do with diplomacy and negototiation.

Another question: "The ship is about to explode. You and your second in command are in the engine room. The only way to survive is for one of you to go in and release it, which will mean certain death. What do you do?" I immediately consider writing "Send the second in command in." but realise this may be a trick question, so I write, "Go in and get killed, but save the ship." As if I would! The very thought!

Two hours from the start, Deanna stops eating her chocolate and calls "Time's up, Seven."

----------

Shortly after, I am back in the Ready Room with Locutus. We are looking at the Borg Queen's image on video. I heave a sigh of relief as I am reconnected to the Hive Mind. What a relief that was. I can now listen to the rolling news, and catch up with all the soap operas.

Deanna comes in with the exam sheet after marking it.

Locutus looks at it and goes pale.



"Well?" demands the Borg Queen, "How did she she do?"

"Incredible." answers Locutus, "She got 100%.....errr....welcome to Starfleet, Ensign Seven."

I notice that he goes and has a stress pill immediately after saying this.

Seven In Starfleet (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

The time is coming up to when I'll be sitting my Starfleet Entrance Exam and be an actual Ensign. Locutus is not very pleased that a Borg drone could be a fully fledged member of his staff and in Starfleet, rather than just an observer on the Enterprise.

I am summoned by Locutus to a meeting where we can video conference with the Borg Queen. The machine flickers on, and I see the face of my Queen.



"Hello, Seven." she starts, "It is wonderful to see my favourite drone again. What is it you want, Locutus? I hope you have not found a way to stop her taking this exam."

"No answers Locutus, "I have spoken with the Starfleet Admirals, and despite their objections, I have managed to persuade them that it will be in the intersts of good Federation-Borg relations if we let Seven take them exam."

"Excellent." the Queen enthusiastically, "But in that case, why are we here talking about it? I sense there is still some sort of problem."

"There is." Locutus sats hesitantly, "The Admirals have said Seven would undoubtably get 100% marks because she can call on the Hive Mind of the Borg and get the answers from all the Starfleet staff that have been assimilated in the past. That would be like cheating. The only way Seven can take the exam is if we cut her off from the Borg."



"NOOOOOOO!!!!!!" I scream out, "I can't lose the connection!!"

The Borg Queen looks at me intently.

"Now listen, Seven." she says, "We both want you in Starfleet, but unfortunately Locutus is right. You would be able to call up any memories in the Hive Mind. I can switch off the connection here, and as soon as you've finished it, I'll switch it right back on. It'll only be for a short time."

"Are you ready to start the exam in a few moments, Seven?" Locutus asks me.

"Very well." I answer, "You may sever the connection, my Queen."

I hear a click, and all of a sudden, my mind is emptied. I scream out.

"The voices have gone!" I call out, "I'm totally alone and isolated!"

"Pull yourself together, Seven." the Queen orders on the video monitor, "Now go and do that exam. The Collective will be waiting for you when you get back."

I hold my head. My mind is in disarray. Locutuis takes me to the exam room. However will I manage to qualify on my own?

To be continued after the TWQ......