Saturday, January 31, 2009

TWQ: Spectacular Sights

This week's TWQ (The Weekend Question) concentrates on what you've seen.

What is the most spectacular sight that you've seen? It doesn't have to be a location. It could be something more personal. List as many as you wish if you're not sure.

My answers are:

* The Great Pyramid of Giza in Egypt
* Vatican City

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Jennifer & Data Go Out With Britney & T'Pol (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

Data, T'Pol, Britney and I have arrived at the entrance to Le Grande Restaurante, the most exclusive eaterie in San Francisco. As we all have Leave from the Enterprise, Data had the idea of taking T'Pol & Britney out, as they don't mix and keep to themselves.

Already I'm regretting that. I think I'll have Geordi give Data a Level One Diagnostic when we get back on board.

The female Maitre'D of the restaurant, named Kathy approaches Data and myself, as we are regular customers, but her smile disappears when she sees our guests, especially Britney's micro-black dress.

Kathy looks horrified at Britney. I can see that she is thinking the standard of clientele will plummet if she lets her in.

"I'm sorry, Miss Baxter." Kathy says to me, "But I cannot admit your guest. Her mode of apparel is not suitable for Le Grande Restauraunt."

"Watchamean?" blurts out Britney, "This is one of my favourite dresses."

"I'm afraid, young lady." replies Kathy, "That it unsuitable as it could show your underwear to other customers."

"But I'm not wearing any unde..." Britney answers as T'Pol tactfully puts her hand over her mouth.

Defeated, the four of us walk away.

"So what are we going to do now?" I ask

"I do not know." answers a bemused Data.

"We could always go to Joe's All-Night Bowlarama." T'Pol suggests, "Brit and I love to go there before we rock till dawn at the Galaxy Cavern Nightclub."

"Yeah!" says Britney, "That's more like it, sistah! Better than a stuffy restaurant. Come on. T'Pol and I will thrash you in the Bowlarama!"

I trudge off. What began as a cultured evening has changed.

Still, who knows? I'm a great dancer, and those two are in for a shock if they think they can beat the Bowlarama Queen!

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Jennifer & Data Go Out With Britney & T'Pol (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

"Well, Data, darling." I tell him, "I can't see why we ever agreed to go on this with them. It's as hardly as if they are in our circle."

"That is true, Jenny." replies Data, "But I think we ought to extend the hand of friendship more to Ensign Britney and T'Pol. They stay with each other and do not mix. Therefore by being friendlier towards them, it will break down barriers."

I sigh. "I suppose you're right. Where are we meeting them?"

"Right here in the Starfleet Plaza of San Francisco." he answers, "The two of them should be here any moment. Please be kind to them."

"I will, I will!"

Sure enough, after not too long, I hear the familiar sound of two steps, one of them a Dr Martens boots.

"Hi Jen!" says Britney, "Hi Data! Lets have a fabbo time tonight! Whaddayasay, soulsistah?""

"I'm with you, Brit, honey." T'Pol exclaims, "The four of us will paint the town red."

The only red I'm seeing are the red flags that appearing after seeing those two. Nonetheless, Data carries on.

"I have reserved a place for us at Le Grande Restaurante, the top French eating establishment in San Francisco." he tells them.

Britney and T'Pol, listen, then swap glances at each other.

"BOR---ING!!" they both exclaim together.

"But it is our favourite place to eat, isn't it, Jennifer?" Data tells them, "Every time we return to Earth, we come here."

"It's not for US, Data." T'Pol tells him, "Britney and I have a different idea of a good night out."

"Give this a try." I plead to them. Eventually they relent and decide to come.


We approach the doorway of Le Grande Restaurante.

I've a feeling our troubles are only just beginning!

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Worf's Weight: A Good Day To Diet?

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

"It took you a while to get away from those monsters." I say to Worfie, as we emerge from the holodeck, "That Chieftain nearly caught you. It's a good job that we had the safety protocols on."

"Nonsense." Worf answers gruffily, "He must have been programmed at a faster than usual speed. I never need these protocols."

"Say what you like." I tell him, "I've noticed that you are getting slower. Why was it that you had to order a new uniform at a larger size last week? You're getting fat, Worfie."

Worf gives me a look as if I have insulted his whole family line. Nevertheless, I press on. His rants don't bother me.

"Look, Worf." I tell him, "How many true Klingon warriors do you see overweight? The only ones eating too much we see are those in bars reminiscing about the good old days with Bloodwine. You don't want to be like them?"

He ponders for a while. I think I've struck a chord. Worf sees himself as fit rather than overweight.

"Very well, Jadzia." he declares, "I shall be carefl what I eat. It is a good day to diet."

I'm not sure whether that was what he thought or an example of Klingon humour. They are not known for their joke-telling.


A few hours later, we are ready for lunch, and I give this to Worf.

Greek Salad

"What is this, Jadzia?" he asks, "It looks awful."

"I thought we'd start your dietry program off with a Greek Salad. They are very popular with..."

"A Klingon does not eat salad!" barks Worf, "Imagine how my fellow warriors would act if I told them that I had a salad before going into battle?"

"At least you would have a better chance of surviving in the battle." I tell him, "They would probably get killed."

Worf reluctantly starts to eat his Greek Salad. Though he moans and curses, he eats it all. He gets up and marches to the holodeck.

"I have a few holographic monsters to kill."

Getting Worf to shed weight will be a long process. Any monsters, real or otherwise had better watch out in the process. It's the only way he lets off steam!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

TWQ: Non-Ambitions

I mentioned in an earlier TWQ (The Weekend Question) about ambitions that you had to do or had accomplished. The one this week asks about things you never intend to do.

What ambitions or tasks are there that you never want to do? List as many as you wish, or be as humourous as you wish.

My answers are:

1: Walk on a tightrope.

2: See anything with Ricky Gervais, Hugh Grant or Catherine Zeta Jones in.

3: Walk in icy weather.

4: See The Sound of Music again. I did in the 1960's and never wanted to again.

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

A Princess On The USS Rhode Island

Guest Poster: Karena

"Isn't it exciting, honeybunch?" my hubby and Life Servant Wesley says to me, "We are actually having a princess on board the USS Rhode Island."

This irritates me somewhat.

"In case you forgot, pumpkin." I reply sharply, "There is already a princess on board. I am a princess of the amazons on the planet Wondawowman."

"Err..well, yes." Wes hurriedly answers, "What I meant was besides yourself. We are escorting the Princess Talia to her home planet of Qualena."

"I don't like her." I tell Wes, "She does not behave how a princess should. She is rude and shouts at people. Besides that, Commander Hathaway is paying far too much attention to her."

"You're right there, Karena." concedes Wes, "But the Commander pay attention to any woman on ship. I know you had to use your spear to fend him off when you first came on board. Still, as a princess, you ought to talk to her."

"Perhaps you are right, pumpkin." I say, "Let's go to Talia's quarters and talk to her. As a princess, she will welcome my company."

The two of us walk towards the VIP area, and enter her room. We find Talia and Commander Hathaway in a very compromising position.

"What is going on?" I ask, although from the image I can see in front of me, it's very clear.

"Steady on, Ensign Karena." Hathaway says to me, "It's not what you think it is."

What an old adage. It IS what I think it is!

"The Commander is doing me a favour." explains Talia, "On my world, all people are created artificially in laboratories. We have no concept of love. When I said this to the Commander, he offered to show me what love is."

"This is against regulations!" I say, gripping my spear firmly, "I must report this to Captain Hernandez."

"Ensign." Hathaway tells me, in a pleading voice, "Please do not. I know it was wrong, but she IS a princess, and she did want to know. No harm has been done."

Wes and I consider this.

"Honeybunch." Wes whispers, "Just remember that if we ever get in trouble, and the Commander is about to reprimand us, we could just say Talia and he'll back down."

I consider this. Wesley may be smarter than he looks.

"Very well, Commander." I say, as if I am the Captain, "I'll overlook it this time."

Hathaway looks annoyed, as he knows he will owe us one for this.

Wesley and I walk away from this back to our quarters.

"Well done, pumpkin." I say to him with a smile.


Editor's Note:

Mimi Pencilskirt has imposed this meme on me, in which I have to write ten honest things about myself.

Here goes...

1: I love foreign language movies, my favourite being The Lives Of Others.

2: I love bacon, eggs, mushroom, fried bread etc.

3: I do my best to finish a book, and it is very rare when I give up on one.

4: I never watch movies with Hugh Grant in.

5: I also never watch anything with Ricky Gervais in.

6: I do my best to remember the words to American Pie.

7: I like spiders and snakes, or anything in the reptile house in a zoo.

8: If I'm not sure I've done something, like set the tv recorder, I have to come down at night and check, otherwise I won't sleep.

9: I can't sleep on trains or planes.

10: I dislike any Indian food. It makes me very ill.

At this point I'm supposed to name seven blogs outstanding for content and design and impose this meme on them. However, I will ask that if anyone wishes to do it, please do, and let me know.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Bev & Picard At Romantica (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

My stay on the planet Romantica with Jean-Luc hasn't all been moonlight and roses. All right, there have been quite a few private moments between us that I'd prefer not to talk about right here there that let's say we both enjoyed a lot.

I am digressing, though. After catching Admiral Bullock with his personal secretary Felicity (all residents are called Mr & Mrs Smith here, the two of us went down to the beach so that we can watch the sunset.

Instead, I scream the loudest I ever had done when a foul creature emerges from the ocean.

"What is it?" I ask desperately.

"It's some kind of Sea Devil." summises Jean-Luc, "As we don't have a phaser or disruptor with us, we'll have to go back to the hotel to seek help."

As we run back, we see a second creature emerge, carrying a large box. The first Sea Devil helps with it.


The two of us run into the hotel foyer, breathless.

"We're being invaded!!" I shout out, "Everybody run for their lives! Women and children first!"

Naturally, this incites panic amongst all the residents. Those readinging the Galactic Gazette and a sleepy manner are suddenly roused as if they have been electrocuted.

The Hotel Manager comes towards us in his usual calm and concilatory manner.

"Now then, Mrs & Mrs Smith." he says to us, "What appears to be the problem?"

"The PROBLEM." Jean-Luc replies, "Is that two alien creatures have emerged from the ocean and are heading this way, about to invade us."

"Are you sure, sir?" asks the Manager.

"Of course I am, you idiot." Jean-Luc snaps, "Now where is your supply of weapons? Do you have some phasers?"

"We don't have anything like that, Mr Smith." replies the Manager quietly.

Everybody turns round, and the two Sea Devils walk into the foyer. Quietly, they walk up to the main Reception Area, where Jean-Luc and I are standing.

"We are here to stay a week at your Hotel." says the one Sea Devil to the Manager, "Here is our Confirmation Form."

"Thank you sir, madam." the Manager says to them, "You will be Mr & Mrs Smith during your stay, in order to maintain discretion."

A porter takes the luggage of the Sea Devils, while Jean-Luc and I look at the floor, trying not to notice the stern gaze of the Hotel Manager."

"Mr Picard, Ms Crusher." he says, no longer calling us Smith, "I think it would be best if you vacated these premises. We do not want rabble rousers like yourselves here. This is a quality hotel."


As we load our luggage on to the shuttlecraft, I ask Jean-Luc what are we going to do now.

"Not to worry, Bev." he answers, "I saw a quiet hilltop hotel, well inland on the way here. That will be a lot better. Well out of the way of Starfleet Admirals and Sea Devils."

"Let's go!" I say, "But let's not tell those in the Enterprise this little story. They would never stop laughing."

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Bev & Picard At Romantica (Part Two)

Bev and I have been enjoying our time on Romantica. It's a couples-only planetary resort that I have gone on with her as a result of my 50th birthday present from the crew of the Enterprise.

I think Bev and I will agree that it's an ideal present!

The odd thing is that all the residents are called Mr & Mrs Smith, in order to preserve anonymity. The only ones who aren't are those whose names are actually Smith!

The two of us are walking to the breakfast table when I see a familiar figure.

"Bev!" I whisper quickly, "It's Admiral Bullock. Let's hide!"

It's too late, and he sees us. Bullock is accompanied by a young 19 year old girl who I recognise as Felicity, his secretary. They walk towards us.

"Hello Admiral." I say, "You're looking well, Felicity." She giggles.

The Admiral is a little lost for words. Though he looks disapprovingly at Bev and myself being together.

"Is your wife not with you, Admiral?" Bev asks in a sarcastic manner.

"Err, no, Doctor Crusher." he replies, "She has backache. Besides, my secretary are here on a fact-finding mission on behalf of Starfleet."

"Of course you are." Bev comments.

The four of us walk away in two different directions. The Admiral hurries back and quietly whispers to me.

"Look, Picard. I won't say anything about you consorting with your ship's Doctor if you keep quiet about me and Felicity."

"Agreed, Admiral." I answer, "I mean Mr Smith."

Beverly and I continue walking away, while I hear Felicity shouting away, "I thought you told me you were divorced!"

"I think we'll be all right here, Jean-Luc." Beverly says with a laugh, holding my arm, "Let's go for a walk on the beach. There's a beautiful sunset here tonight."


A little later, we are sitting on the beach, and I am getting ready to start the Great Seduction when Bev emits a horrendous scream that rattles my eardrums. The sound is worse than the sort heard in the type of nightclubs Ensign Britney goes to.

"Something is coming out of the sea!" she shouts, "It looks awful!"

To be continued...

Saturday, January 17, 2009

TWQ: Things That We Wanted To Do

TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about those pleasures that we have always dreamed of achieving. How many have you actually done?

What things have you always dreamt of doing have you actually done? Were they as good as you imagined they would be or a bit of a let down? List as many as you wish.

My answer is:

I had always dreamt of riding on the back of a Harley Davidson (it would only be a passenger as I couldn't drive). When I found someone who had one, he offered to give me a spin on it. I loved every moment of it, and was elated with the buzz it gave me during and afterwards. Sadly, I have never had the opportunity to ride one again.

Now it's over to you...

But before you go....

As Patrick McGoohan passed away this week, here is a extended intro to the best opening sequence of any tv series...The Prisoner.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Bev & Picard At Romantica (Part One)

Here we are.

Bev and I have just landed our shuttle on the planet Romantica. It's a couples-only vacation paradise. The members of the crew gave me this as a present for my 50th birthday on the 14th of January.

"It looks lovely, Jean-Luc." Bev says to me, as we make our way to the Hotel Deux, where we are booked to stay.

I think Bev and I are really going to enjoy it here.

All the couples are walking around holding and and kissing. The twin moons plus the quiet beach make for a wonderfully romantic setting.

"Let's check in, Bev."

We are greeted by an oversmiling hotel clerk.

"Hello." I say, "I'm Jean-Luc Pica.."

"Ah, Mr & Mrs Smith." says the clerk, "I am Michael, welcome to the Hotel Deux. I hope your stay will be a pleasant one."

"You're mistaken." Bev corrects him, "We are not Mr & Mrs Smith, but are..."

"ALL guests are called Smith in this hotel." Michael tells us cheerily, "It helps preserve that anonymity that some guests ask for. Many married couples come here, but not necessarily to each other."

"What about the guests that ARE called Smith." Beverly asks, trying to catch the clerk out.

"That is an exception." Michael answers, "We call them Mr & Mrs Jones."

I sigh, but smile at the same time.

Michael rings the bell the fetch the porter, instructing him to take Mr & Mrs Smith and their luggage to Room 911.


When we get there, we see the room has a balcony. Together we see the setting sun and the twin moons in the east.

"I like it here, Mrs Smith." I say to Bev.

"So do I, Mr Smith." she replies, "So do I."

To be continued after the TWQ....

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Picard's 50th Birthday

Yuk! I wake up today, realising that I am no longer in my forties. I feel ancient in guess that Starfleet will soon hint at me being a veteran and phrases like 'give a younger man a chance'.

Not likely!

I switch on my Captain's Log and find there are adverts for health insurance for the over-50's and for walk-in sonic showers.

While putting my uniform on, my arm aches. Not rhuematism is it?

I am on the way to the Bridge, and hear a couple of crewmembers talking.

"I thought he was older than that." one says to the other, "He certainly looks it."

"Who are you talking about, crewman?" I ask.

"Err..." he stutters, "I was talking about Crewman Jackson's father, Captain."

A likely story.

My Com Badge suddely tells me there is an emergency in Ten Forward.

I arrive there in a matter of minutes, open the door, and am greeted by a crescendo of loud noise.


Bev and the rest of the senior staff are there in party outfits are all there waiting to celebrate my party.

"Happy birthday, Jean-Luc." Bev says softly, "Enjoy the party."

"Who is steering the ship?" I ask.

"Never mind that, Captain." Riker answers, "It's on autopilot."

Vic Fontaine and his band start the proceedings off with Happy Birthday, then I have to make a speech.

Naturally Ensign Britney giggles, and does an impression of a man with a walking stick. That girl will be off to the brig again.

"Ladies and gentlemen" Fontaine announces, "Beverly Crusher will be singing a special song dedicated to Captain Picard.....Forever Young."

May God bless and keep you always
May your wishes all come true
May you always do for others
And let others do for you
May you build a ladder to the stars
And climb on every rung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May you grow up to be righteous
May you grow up to be true
May you always know the truth
And see the lights surrounding you
May you always be courageous
Stand upright and be strong
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

May your hands always be busy
May your feet always be swift
May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift
May your heart always be joyful
And may your song always be sung
May you stay forever young
Forever young, forever young
May you stay forever young.

Bev then gives me a big kiss.

I guess being 50 isn't so bad after all!

"We have all clubbed together." Riker announces to me, "To present you with this ticket for a vacation for two on the couples-only planet of Romantica."

"Who are you gonna pick, Jean-Luc?" Guinan asks, "You might get one fiery redhead if you don't go with her."

"It had better be me." Bev whispers, "Or the next time you come to SickBay for your medical examination, I'll make sure the holographic doctor carries it out, and not me!"

"Don't worry." I say, as we go into a smoochy dance, "Get your bags packed. We're off to Romantica."

"Happy Birthday, Jean-Luc."


Editor's Note:

Yes, Wednesday 14th January is my 50th birthday. In response to some requests, below is a photo of the portrait of myself that I've had done.

Sunday, January 11, 2009

The Mayor Of Unimatrix Zero

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen

These first few days as Joint Mayor of Unimatrix Zero have been an absolute nightmare!

My term of Office commenced on the 1st of January, but the trouble is that in the elections, I came joint first with Axum, against whom I fought a long and bitter campaign.

He was also my former lover, who ran off to join that floozy Bajorian, Vi Toran.

I know what you're thinking. Yes, Unimatrix Zero is only an unconsious state of mind that Borg drones with the recessive gene can enter when they are regenerating in their alcove. But while we are here, it's as real as real life.

That's why we have elections to see who is the top dog. There is love...and hate, which I have experienced both with that creep Axum.

Since we have become Mayor, we argue about everything. Nothing new there, I hear you say, but this is about political decisions. We on about the times refuse men should come, how long bars should stay open. Naturally, he wants more golf courses to be built...I want them to be taxed.

"We're not doing THAT!" he'll say, whenever I put a proposal forward.

"Oh yes we ARE!" I'll snap back, usually throwing some drink in his face at the same time. The Mayor's office resembles a war zone at time.

The one that has the hardest job is the Peacekeeper, a council member appointed to sit between us and maintain order when the words start flying.

Naturally, I had something to say when Axum appointed his secretary.

Yes, you know who it was already. The floozy got the job. Vi Toran is there to sit on his knee and take the notes of anything he writes.

"Disgusting." I said to him, "Couldn't you appoint someone with more than one brain cell?"

"I can appoint whoever I like." retorted Axum, "I'm the Mayor."


That's the way it's been ever since January 1st. Nothing has been passed of course. As the two of us can't agree on anything, no laws are coming through.

The joys of being a Leader!


Editor's Note:

Apologies to those whom I haven't blogged over the last two or three days. My computer is ultra-ultra slow. I hope to have this fixed ASAP.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

TWQ: Memorable Birthdays

As you all probably know, next Wednesday (14th) is my 50th birthday. Today, TWQ (The Weekend Question is asking about red-letter birthdays in your past.

Can you remember any memorable birthdays you've had in the past and what happened? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* On my 21st, I had a large sit-down family party that many family members said it was the best they had been to. Everything clicked that night.

* On my 26th, my parents secretly arranged with my office for a kissogram girl to visit the office

* On my 40th, I had big party, mixed with office and relatives.

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, January 08, 2009

Planning For Jean-Luc's Birthday

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

For a change, I'm the one in charge of a senior staff meeting.

I've called it without Jean-Luc's knowledge as he is currently at a Captain's Conference at Rhiaana VI.

"Listen, everybody." I tell them, "I have a special reason for calling this meeting. I wanted to talk about Captain Picard's birthday on 14th January."

"Are you going to pass round an envelope and force them to contribute for a present?" asks Seven of Nine, "If you are, I would like to volunteer. I could then assimilate them if they refused to comply."

"There's no need for that, Seven." I reply, "I'm sure they will contribute willingly. Now we want to make it very special, as it is the Captain's 50th birthday."

"I didn't know he was THAT old." comments Ensign Britney, "He must be past it by now."

"He most certainly is not 'past it', Ensign." I say annoyingly to her, though there are several giggles in the room, "Any more talk like that and you'll be in the brig."

"You'll have to be careful with the candles on the cake." T'Pol says, "If they are all lit at once, there could be a major fire hazard that could go out of control."

Both T'Pol and Britney fall about laughing, and I indicate to Lieutenant Worf to remove them from the room.

"Well, What are we going to get the Captain?" Geordi asks, "He does seem to have everything."

"How about a surprise birthday party?" Jadzia suggests.

"That might be good." Riker comments, "We could put towards a trip for two to the planet Romantica, a holiday resort for couples only."

"Who would the Captain wish to take?" Data says out loud.

All eyes are then looking at me.

"Err... well.." I stutter, "The Captain may wish me to come...just to check if he is alright, of course."

Everybody has a look that says to me "What a fib!"

"That's it, then." Riker says, "Let's collect for the Captain's trip."

"....and mine." I think to myself.

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Q In The Continuum (Part Two)

Guest Poster : Q

Now that we are all assembled in the Hall of Q in the Continuum, we all have to listen to whatever our leader has to drone on about.

The trouble is, as there is no concept of time and space in this enviroment, a speech can last the equivilant of several eons in human terms. Imagine that? It's not an endearing thought, is it?

Still, it hasn't been bad so far, while we've been waiting, I did manage to get the phone number of a female Q that I fancied. Pretty good going!

Hold on...the Head Q is here.....

Naturally, I can't show you his face. I hope you understand.

"Fellow Q's" he starts, "I think it is necessary to gather you all together in this Assembly, as I have something important to say."

This sounds ominous. Are we getting a pay cut?

"It has come to my attention." the Head Q continues, "That many of you are spending too much time outside the Continuum and interfering in the running of the universe outside it."

I start to feel looked at by him. Is Q referring to me by any chance? Just because I pay a few friendly visits to Jean-Luc and Kathryn occasionally can't consitute as interfering. All right I DID play pool with a star system last week, but was that really so bad?

"Penalties will be incurred if Qs persist in this action." our leader says, "And you must not ...."

"What about me?" says the voice of a young female Q.

"If it had not been for that Q there" she says, pointing to me, "My Q potential would not have been recognised when I served on the Enterprise. Q bought me here to the Continuum."

The Head Q looks a little embarrased at this.

"Well." he says, "There are occasions when we have to go out into the universe to seek individuals with potential. That does NOT involve playing pranks on them."

He looks at me again at the mention of this.

"You are all dismissed." our leader says, and we file away.

"You'll have to watch what you do." one Q says to me.

"Nonsense." I reply, "He says that sort of thing every so often as an indicator that he's still in his job. He then retires to the Ivory Tower and we don't see him for an Age."

I go back to my Quarters.

Now what's the phone number of that female Q I saw earlier on?

Sunday, January 04, 2009

Q In The Continuum (Part One)

Guest Poster: Q

"All the Qs are having an assembly." I am suddenly informed, while having a peaceful doze in the Q Continuum.

"What." I reply, "When is it?"

"Now says the Q talking to me, "You'd better get out of that sleeping position and hurry along. You might miss the start."

There's not much chance of that happening. Those in charge at the Continuum always make sure I hear it.

Such a pity really. I was just going to go and wish Jean-Luc and his minions a Happy New Year then make their clothes vanish. I know that they always like that, although they pretend not to.

Not that we in the Continuum have any worries about time and space. Being who we are, we can appear anywhere, anytime and do anything. I kind of like the look I have when I torment Jean-Luc, though. Mainly because it annoys him.

I'm digressing again. Maybe I'm getting old?

I appear in the Hall of Q to appear while the big boss gets ready to make his speech.

"Hiya, Q. I was missing you." says a female voice from behind.

"Oh, hello Q" I say. "You look lovely. A new perfume?"

"Yes, Q" she replies, "It's Essence of Andromeda."

"Well it's beautiful." I tell her, "Hope I can see you after the speech."

"Sure, Q." she answers, "Here's my phone number."

Q definately has the hots for me!

Phone books are a little curious in the Continuum. With every being having the same name, it can be a problem looking for someone's number.

A good point is that a male and female Q can never accidentally say the name of a former admirer and arouse suspicion in the throes of passion. Whoever thought of giving all in the Continuum the same name must have thinking of this!

"Here's our leader!" whispers one Q to another, "I wonder what he's going to say?"

Saturday, January 03, 2009

TWQ: New Year Ambitions

With the New Year celebrations over, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks what your plans are for 2009.

What do you have planned for 2009? Do you intend to quit something, go somewhere or do anything? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

*As 14th January is my 50th birthday, I'll be hanging the portrait of myself that I had commissioned to be done. It's a super painting, and was a pleasure to do the sittings.

* In October, I'll be going for the third time to see Mamma Mia! in London's West End.

Now it's over to you....

Thursday, January 01, 2009

The New Year With T'Pol & Britney

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

Whew! What a hangover that was!

Back in the mirror universe where I came from, I could take that sort of liquor and drink Captain Archer under the table. It must have softened me up a little.

Britney is sleeping away next to me.

I give her a slight kick, in which she falls off the bed.

"Wakey, wakey, Brit!" I shout, it's the New Year and time for our shift to begin. Old grumpy the Captain will put us both in the brig if we don't get there in time"

"Whazzup?" my Deltan friend dozily says.

"Time to start." I reply, and drag her to the sonic shower, where a few minutes there soon revives her.

The two of us set out from our quarters, but find the corridors of the Enterprise very quiet.

"It seems that few people have recovered from the New Year's Eve Party we had, sistah." Britney observes, "Let's go to the Bridge."

When we arrive, we find that it is unusually silent.

We decide to ask the computer about the location of various crew members.

"Captain Picard is in Doctor Crusher's quarters."

"Commander Riker is in Deanna Troi's quarters."

"Lieutenant Commander Data is in Jennifer Baxter's quarters."

And so it goes on.

"Well, we can see what sort of night THEY have all had." laughs Britney, "Are you going to be the one to wake them up?"

"Not likely, Brit." I answer.

"What about getting the Emergency Holographic Doctor?" suggests Britney, "He has Command status, and we could use him."

"Do you really want him here." I answer, "A few seconds in the Captain's Chair and he would be into La Traviata or some other operatic piece."

"You're right, T'Pol" she comments, "We can fly this can on our own."

"Do you wanna be the Captain?" I ask Brit, "Or shall we toss?"

I win this toss, and Brit is at the Com, while I'm in the Captain's Chair.

"Where shall we go, sistah?" she asks.

"If it were up to me, we'd go to Nightclubworld, but as we've got over 1000 people on the Enterprise, I suppose we'd better go to Starbase VII, where we were due to go to."


Eventually, Captain Picard walks on with the rest of the Bridge crew. He looks in bad shape, as do all of them. We tell them that we are proceding to the Starbase as it was programmed.

"Err...yes...well done, you two."

He makes no comment about why we didn't wake him, neither do the others, as we would have known where he was!