Tuesday, January 20, 2009

Bev & Picard At Romantica (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

My stay on the planet Romantica with Jean-Luc hasn't all been moonlight and roses. All right, there have been quite a few private moments between us that I'd prefer not to talk about right here there that let's say we both enjoyed a lot.

I am digressing, though. After catching Admiral Bullock with his personal secretary Felicity (all residents are called Mr & Mrs Smith here, the two of us went down to the beach so that we can watch the sunset.

Instead, I scream the loudest I ever had done when a foul creature emerges from the ocean.

"What is it?" I ask desperately.

"It's some kind of Sea Devil." summises Jean-Luc, "As we don't have a phaser or disruptor with us, we'll have to go back to the hotel to seek help."

As we run back, we see a second creature emerge, carrying a large box. The first Sea Devil helps with it.


The two of us run into the hotel foyer, breathless.

"We're being invaded!!" I shout out, "Everybody run for their lives! Women and children first!"

Naturally, this incites panic amongst all the residents. Those readinging the Galactic Gazette and a sleepy manner are suddenly roused as if they have been electrocuted.

The Hotel Manager comes towards us in his usual calm and concilatory manner.

"Now then, Mrs & Mrs Smith." he says to us, "What appears to be the problem?"

"The PROBLEM." Jean-Luc replies, "Is that two alien creatures have emerged from the ocean and are heading this way, about to invade us."

"Are you sure, sir?" asks the Manager.

"Of course I am, you idiot." Jean-Luc snaps, "Now where is your supply of weapons? Do you have some phasers?"

"We don't have anything like that, Mr Smith." replies the Manager quietly.

Everybody turns round, and the two Sea Devils walk into the foyer. Quietly, they walk up to the main Reception Area, where Jean-Luc and I are standing.

"We are here to stay a week at your Hotel." says the one Sea Devil to the Manager, "Here is our Confirmation Form."

"Thank you sir, madam." the Manager says to them, "You will be Mr & Mrs Smith during your stay, in order to maintain discretion."

A porter takes the luggage of the Sea Devils, while Jean-Luc and I look at the floor, trying not to notice the stern gaze of the Hotel Manager."

"Mr Picard, Ms Crusher." he says, no longer calling us Smith, "I think it would be best if you vacated these premises. We do not want rabble rousers like yourselves here. This is a quality hotel."


As we load our luggage on to the shuttlecraft, I ask Jean-Luc what are we going to do now.

"Not to worry, Bev." he answers, "I saw a quiet hilltop hotel, well inland on the way here. That will be a lot better. Well out of the way of Starfleet Admirals and Sea Devils."

"Let's go!" I say, "But let's not tell those in the Enterprise this little story. They would never stop laughing."


The Curmudgeon said...

Shoot first and ask questions later? My, my, Jean-Luc, you have a few private moments with Dr. Crusher and the next thing you know, you're carrying on like James T. Kirk!

Gordon said...

Darn The Curmudgeon beat me to it, you ben drinking the klingon blood wine Captain.

Linda said...

Alrighty then, that's more than enough Romulan ale for the two of you!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

LOL! Rabble Rousers!

Anonymous said...

Yes, I'd not tell on the Enterprise either!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmudgeon, at least I don't have a different love interest every week like Kirk did.

Linda, you're spoiling the fun!

Unknown said...

Yes, I see. Deliberate food poisoning came to mind for the creatures but then, they have phasers. How could you leave such a necessary item behind, Captain? :)