Monday, May 30, 2011

Section 31 Meeting (Part One)

Guest Poster: Luther Sloan

A meeting between key members of Section 31 is never easy to set up. Just how do you alert those in a Secret Group within Starfleet that they should attend? After all, we can hardly send it on printed notepaper with 'Section 31' emblazoned on the top.

No, it has to be whispered through word of mouth for the attendees to get there. Woe betide if any of them has hearing difficulties. Then they don't turn up and apologies are mentioned in the minutes.

Yes, we actually have someone take the minutes. After he does, he has to eat the paper with the words on, then then we kill him just to make sure. It's not a position that is particularly sought after.

"We are gathered here today." I begin to the group around the table, "To discuss the weak links of the USS Enterprise. It has come to our attention, particularly when our agents J and K infiltrated. The noticed a number of people whose actions could be seen to be qustionable. J?"

Agent J stands up to speak, while I have a drink and a sticky bun.

"Firstly," begins Agent J, "Captain Jean-Luc Picard is the most questionable of all. He gets assimilated a few years ago, is supposedly cured a few days later, yet establishes an intriuging realationship with Earth's mortal enemy the Borg Queen, and allows a drone called Seven of Nine to stay on the ship."

"He claims it's to preserve a truce." comments an Agent, sarcastically.

"Precisely." answers J, "Are we supposed to believe this, or just let a Starship Captain go into collusion with the Borg?"

Disapproving murmurs come from all around the table.

"I agree, Agent J" I tell her, "It is a most serious turn of events. Agent K, do you want to list another incident?"

The brunette stands up, and starts to read off her list.

"I find great concern with the woman in Ten Forward, named Guinan.." K tells us, "She is an El-Aurian, and many hundreds of years old. It appears that she has the ear of Captain Picard and advises him on a lot of crucial matters."

Agent K holds up her picture and a lot of glum sounds are made.

"She could well be an enemy of the Federation planted in to influence Picard to make bad decisions...if he is already doing that deliberately as an agent of the Borg!"

Cheers go up at this comment.

"Agent J and I have found others we are not happy about." K tells me."

"Very well." I say, "We'll have a recess for now to have coffee and a sticky bun, then we'll hear more from you two."

To be continued......

Saturday, May 28, 2011

TWQ: Best TV Show So Far of 2011

TWQ (the Weekend Question) is asking you to name the TV shows that have bought you the most pleasure this year.

What have been your favourite TV shows so far this year, in particular new ones? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

The Killing: Not the American remake, but the original Danish subtitled version in which  Inspector Sarah Lund is obsessed with finding a killer in Copenhagen, Denmark. A truly original 20 hour edge of seat thriller.

The Crimson Petal And The White: A well-made drama about a London prostitute who tries to come up in society and also to help others. Warning: not one to watch with your visiting grandparents or a priest!

Now it's over to you....

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Job Vacancy

It looks like I'm going to have to put an advert in the Galactic Gazette for some more crew members. Too many are getting themselves killed when they go one an away mission. It's like the evil alien paints a target on their backs.

I know that in the 23rd century, when James Kirk was gung ho-ing around, shooting everything in sight, his red shirted crewmen were filling the morgues in droves. Fortunately we stopped that, but we still get casualities every now and then.

Now let's see. What shall I put?

Wanted: Crew members for galaxy-class starship.

That sounds good. Let's press on.

We are looking for crew members to help populate our ship as many previous ones have been killed on missions.

No, that will turn them off. I'll change that to moved to higher positions.

Now let's see what else...

Sex is not important.   No, that sounds dreadful. I'll rephrase it.

The posts are open to all genders and races within the Federation., and will will be awarded pending both a competancy and medical exam.

Good luck to Bev on the latter. There are some races within the Federation she would not want to examine with a bargepole. Fortunately the Breen aren't in. They stay enclosed in those awful suits!

"What ARE you doing, Jean-Luc?" says a voice from behind me. It's Bev. She looks at what I have written so far and laughs out loud.

"You have no idea how to write a job vacancy for someone, do you?" she chortles, "No wonder no one ever comes here!"

The red-headed doctor pushes me out of the day and starts typing.

Wonderful opportunities for all those in the Federation seeking a life of excitement and adventure around the galaxy! Be part of a team on the flagship in Starfleet. We are waiting for YOUR call. Come and join us!

"There!" she smirks. "They'll be coming soon. You'll get all the people you want."

I sigh, and delete my own entry.

Monday, May 23, 2011

Sheena, Queen Of The Jungle (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Sheena

As a one-year old, I accidentally hit some buttons and crawled into an obelisk on the jungle planet of Tarsus VI. Lights in there aged me to seventeen, and also gave me the ability to talk with animals. They told me that the obelisk was put there generations ago by a mysterious race known as the Doolittles. The crew of the Enterprise and Rhode Island have been out searching for me, but are now returning...


"Here they come!" Sky the giraffe tells us all. He's the equivilant of a long range sensor system on a starship.

I see my mother, weeping away, being held by my father. I step forward.

"Mom, Dad? It's me!" I yell out.

"Who are you?." shouts my Mom angrily, "Have you kidnapped my daughter? If you have, your life won't be worth living!"

"I'm Sheena." I explain, although I know this won't be easy, "I went in that obelisk and it changed me into a seventeen year old."

"My daughter is one year old!!" screams my mother, about to throw a spear in my direction.

"Wait, Karena!" urges my grandmother Beverly, "I've scanned her DNA body make up. This is 95% identical to your baby Sheena."

"It's only 95% because I now have the ability to talk to all jungle creatures." I tell them, "My bodily composition has altered slightly."

"She's nearly as old as we are, Karena." whispers my Dad in a groaning voice, "I suddenly feel quite ancient. Still, it's useful to be able to bypass puberty like that. I wish I could have done that."

"Well, it's good to find you, Sheena." Captain Hernandez remarks to me. "Now we can all beam up."

"Err...I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back yet." I tell them, "The animals tell me that they need organising, and that there have been a lot of alien predators visiting. They need me to defend them."

"But you're my daughter!" my mom cries out, "You're a Princess and will eventually be Queen of my own planet."

"Yes, mother." I answer, "When my time here is over, I'll join you on the Rhode Island again, and eventually be Queen of our planet, but right now, I'm Queen of the Jungle here on Tarsus VI."

I show her the spears, plus the bows and arrows I have made.

"I'm proud of you, my daughter." she says with a sniffle, "You are a true amazon warrior. We'll leave you an emergency beacon. Activate it when you need us."

"Thank you, mother." I say, although I knew she is upset at leaving her daughter here.

"I know how hard it is for you, Karena." Beverly tells Karena, "But she is a grown woman now, ready to make her own destiny."

After enough tears to fill a dozen boxes of tissues, everyone beams off, leaving me with the animals.

"Pass me a tissue." says Mac the monkey, "I always get upset at this sort of thing."

Saturday, May 21, 2011

TWQ: Supermarket Irritants

Nowadays, there seem to be more things in supermarkets that get us mad. This vweek, TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks you to list some of yours.

What things in supermarkets annoy you? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Automatic item processors: they are useless, despite the efforts of staff to encourage us to use them.

* When we are asked  "Do you want a bag to put them in?". Of course we do!

* Putting similarly themed foodstuffs in separate parts of the supermarket

* Thinning the anount of foodstuffs to make way for selling televisions, radios and other items. We want the food!

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Sheena, Queen Of The Jungle (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Sheena

What a difference a short time has made.

Not long ago, I was a one year old baby who accidentally pressed a few buttons of a strange obelisk placed by the Doolittle race hundreds of years ago on the jungle planet of Tarsus VI. I crawled in and a few flashing lights not only aged me to a seventeen year old, but gave be the ability to talk to all the animals here. My mom and dad, who are Karena and Wesley are with the others of the Enterprise and Rhode Island searching for me. For the moment, they have given up here for now. That's what Mac the monkey tells me. Until they return, I have agreed to help the animals here with their various disputes.


Several minutes later, I had fashioned my own spear, just like the sort my mother had. I was an Amazon Queen with a responsibility to all the creatures here.

"Let's go to the meeting place, Sheena." Mac advised me, "All of the representatives are there, with a few things to say. Stripey will take us there."

"Stripey?" I asked. "You'll see." the primate answered.

A few moments later, Stripey and I were going along. All I heard were complaints from him were about being persecuted and laughed at by the lions because of their appearance.

"A right moaner this one!" Mac whispered in my ear.

Soon, we reached a circle where representatives of all the species had gathered.

"Who is this, then?" demanded the lion, "I hardly think we can talk to a human!"

"That's just it, Lenny!" exclaimed Mac, "We can. Sheena here has the ability to talk to all animals. She can help us with disdputes and stop the alien hunters that come to this planet."

"Can you tell what I'm saying?" the lion asked me.

"Sure can." I replied.

"Interesting." commented a tiger, "Well we've been having a lot of territorial problems with the lions."

"Don't forget the agreement that meat eaters can only eat so many non-meat eaters per year." remarked a giraffe. "Don't think I haven't noticed how much more you predators have been having."

More and more issues kept piling up.

Mac groaned and put his fingers in his ears.

"It always gets like this!" he explained.

Suddenly the giraffe made a noise.

"Hold on, everybody!"

"What is it, Sky?" Lenny asked.

"I can see in the distance." Sky answered, "The humans are walking back."

To be continued after the TWQ.......

Monday, May 16, 2011

Sheena, Queen Of The Jungle (Part Three)

Editor's Note:

Sheena, the one year old child of Karena and Wesley has wandered into a mysterious obelisk on a jungle planet named Tarsus VI by accidentally pressing a few buttons. As it is impervious to sensors, the crews of the USS Rhode Island and Enterprise cannot locate where she is. They have left the area, convinced that she has been abducted, and are looking to other parts of the planet. Meanwhile, inside the obelisk, lights continue to bathe little Sheena...

Guest Poster: Sheena

What is happening to me? I feel so very different.

The multicoloured lights that seem to have been flashing away endlessly suddenly come to a stop. What a relief. It's like hitting your head against a brick wall and finding out you will be much better when you stop.

I look down at myself. To my amazement, I've now grown out of my baby clothes. I'm now taller. A lot taller. Also a lot older.

I stand up and find I must be about six foot tall, and probably about seventeen years old. I struggle up and grab my baby clothes. As I remember how my mother dresses, I rip the clothes and cover myself. Now I look like an an amazon. Mom would be proud of me. Not only have I grown up, but I have the intelligence of a seventeen year old.

The door to the outside world has sprang open. Presumably it did so when the flashing lights ended. Now to rejoin my parents. Won't I have a story to tell them! They will probably be quite relieved that they don't have to get up in the middle of the night and sing me a lullaby.

Except there is no one there. Everyone has deserted me. Surely my parents didn't leave me here? I know I've been a bad girl at time, and caused a few sleepless nights, but.....

"The humans are looking for you." says a voice. I mturn round, but all there is is a monkey looking at me.

"Who was that?" I ask quickly.

"It's me, cloth ears!" answers the monkey.

"Someone is doing a good ventriloquism act here." I comment, "Is it you, Commander Hathaway?"

The monkey rolls his eyes. "Look" he says, "When you were in that obelisk, it aged you and also gave you the ability to talk with all animals. That object was placed here centuries ago by a race calleed the Doolittles."

"All right, I'll buy it." I tell the monkey, "I'm Sheena. Who are you anyway?"

"You can call me Mac." he says, "I've got a number of animal pals around here. We could do with some organisation. You won't believe the disputes the various species have. We could do with an independant arbitar who could sort things out. Will you do it, Sheena?"

I consider it.

"Alright, Mac." I answer, "My people are bound to come back sooner or later. Until then, I'd be happy to help."

"That's the spirit!" Mac exclaims, "From now on, you're Queen Of The Jungle!"

To be continued...

Saturday, May 14, 2011

TWQ: Best Opening Book Lines

We all know that in order to enjoy a good book, those first few lines are essential. TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks you for your most memorable.

What are your favourite opening book lines? List as many books as you wish?

My answers are:

The Host by Stephenie Meyer.

Opening line :The Healer's name was Fords Deep Waters. Becasuse he was a soul, by nature he was all things good: compassionate, patient, honest, virtuous, and full of love. Anxiety was an unusual emotion for Fords Deep Waters.

The Crimson Petal and The White by Michael Faber

Opening line: Watch your step. Keep your wits about you. You will need them. This city I am bringing you to is vast and intricate, and you have not been here before.

Now it's over to you

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Sheena, Queen Of The Jungle (Part Two)

Editors Note:

One year old Sheena has pressed a few buttons and found her way into a mysterious obelisk on Tarsus VI, which has closed behind her. No one knows she is there. While inside, she has pressed more buttons and a light has started to shine on her.


Guest Poster: Karena

"So where's she gone??" I yell at Wesley, while standing next to the obelisk, "She can't just have crawled off into the jungle. We were only gone a couple of moments!"

"Maybe she went into the obelisk?" he suggests.

"Oh yeah?" I sneer, "None of the crew could get inside. How do you suppose a tiny one year old girl happened to do so and just walk in?"

"Well, I must admit, the chances of that are slim." he concedes.

Captain Erika Hernandez approaches, shaking her head in disappointment.

"Now Karena, Wes." she says, "Don't worry. We are doing everything we can to find Sheena. The Enterprise is nearby and will be joining in the search. There doesn't seem to be an energy signature that took her off the planet, no other ships are nearby. It looks like an abduction. She is somewhere on this planet."

"And when I find her." I say angrily, "I'm gonna ventilate the kidnapper so much with my spear, there won't be any left afterwards!"


A few hours later, the Enterprise is here. My mother in law Bev, who is crying, holds me tight.

"Take it easy." she says through the sniffles, "We're going to find Sheena.. I won't let anyone take my granddaughter."

"This obelisk is impervious to all sensors." Captain Picard observes, "Most remarkable. Still, we can observe this after we have found little Sheena."


Several hours later, the area is declared viewed, and Sheena is not judged to be here. I let out a massive tribal wail that mothers do on our planet when their offspring has vanished. It also tends to give others nearby large headaches.

"She might be another part of Tarsus VI." Beverly tells me, "We'll comb every inch of this planet until we do."

The search party, plus the weeping figures of Bev and me depart from the area, leaving the mysterious obelisk behind.

To be continued after the TWQ.....

Monday, May 09, 2011

Sheena, Queen Of The Jungle (Part One)

Guest Poster: Sheena

The USS Rhode Island is taking a look at a jungle-like planet named Tarsus VI. It has onkly just been named. No Federation perople have set foot on it before.

As an extra extra special treat, mommy and daddy are taking me down there.

"Now you're going to behave yourself down there,. aren't you, sweetie?" mommyu asks me.

"Of course I am!" daddy repliers, "Don't I always?"

The two of them laugh, and then press their lips against each other for some reason. I can never understand why they do that.

We all assemble, ready to beam down.

"There is an energy signature from some sort of building down there." Captain Erika Hernandez tells my parents, "We'll be beaming down there."

A pretty buiding stands there amongst the trees. Many animals are watching what happens. Many of the crew shoo them away. I cry, as I like animals.

"There, there, Sheena." mommy tells me, "They would have just been in the way."

"The obelisk is blocking all our sensors, Captain." one of the crewmen tells Hernandez, "We can't get in. It's impervious to phasers, and no buttons will open the door."

"Karena, Wes." the Captain orders, "You do a sweep of the area."

"What about Sheena?" mommy asks.

"She'll be fine in her chair sitting by the obelisk."

A few minutes later, I get bored; I climb out of my chair. No one is around. They are on the other side of it.

I bang a few buttons with my rattle.

The door opens! I crawl in, and the door slides behind me. No matter, I'll use the rattle again to get out..

There are millions and millions of buttons inside, all waiting to be pressed. Something a curious one year old like me can't resist!

Bash! Bash! Bash! I go with my rattle.

Suddenly there are pretty lights everywhere. It's like The Weekly Raveathon that mommy and daddy like to watch on TV. The ligfht centres on me. It's horrible and blinding...

Something is happening......

To be continued......

Saturday, May 07, 2011

TWQ: First Song

Today, TWQ (the Weekend Question) aks you to delve into the earlist memories you have regarding songs.

What is the first song or songs you remember? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Morningtown Ride by The Seekers: This always invokes fond memories. I once heard the lead singer Judith Durham sing it live in a solo concert many years later.

Downtown by Petula Clark: One I never tire of hearing now.

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Queenie's Lecture (Part Two)

Guest Poster: The Borg Queen

Drat, double drat and even triple drat!

I go and arrange this lecture to give the humans so that I can get some free time with Jean-Luc and what happens? He brings the redhead along! I suspect she's come to take sure I don't entice him. She's a smart cookie, as that's just what I would have tried to do. Still, I'm not finished yet.

"Let the three of us have that drink." I suggest. We go along to the bar, and we all drink to togetherness and all that sort of thing. They don't see me slip a powder into Beverly's drink.

A few moments later, the redhead's skin is greener than that of an Orion Slave Girl.

"Are you feeling all right, Beverly?" I innocently ask, "You don't look so good."

"I'm fine." she answers, then suddenly breaks the galactic speed record in her run to the Ladies restroom.

"Maybe I ought to go and help her..." Jean-Luc says.

"I don't think you can." I tell him, "You can't go in the Ladies. She just has a stomach upset. She'll be back to normal in half an hour."

"How do you know, Queenie?" he asks me suspiciously, "That was a pretty fast diagnosis."

"Err...well." I say hurriedly, "The Borg have assimilated many doctors, so the Hive Mind recognises the symptoms. Now relax, enjoy the drink and my company for a couple of hours. Wouldn't you rather chat with me than those stuffy admirals?"

"Well, I must admit, you're right there." Jean-Luc smiles back.

"I miss the times when you were assimilated as Locutus and you were my lover on my Cube." I sigh, "You were such a fine specimen. Could you not just spend a few hours with me in my quarters here?"

"Err...Queenie." I've got to go now." stutters Jean-Luc, "I ought to send someone to see how Beverly is getting on."

"Stop fighting it, Jean-Luc" I say, as I embrace him, "I'm a woman, you're a man, you know what we both want..."

I kiss him with supreme passion. Though Jean-Luc struggles at first, he fails to break free, and eventually doesn't try. He is enjoying it! We caress and kiss before he manages to pulls free.

"Have you got something on your lips to make me succumb?" he asks, "I felt dizzy and..."

"No, Jean-Luc" I say, smiling, "I didn't need to. You wanted to kiss and embrace me."

Suddenly, there's a noise from the direction of the Ladies. The redhead staggers out, holding her stomach.

"There she is!" yells Beverly, "I analysed my stomach contents with my medical tricorder. You gave me some powder to put me out of the way!"

"Oh, it was only a little amount." I say, "Just so Locutus and I could discuss some personal issues. Well thanks for the kiss, Jean-Luc."

"What kiss???" shouts an angry Bev.

"I used some allure on my lips that made him unable to resist, Bev." I tell her, "It was a good job you came out when you did., as things could have gone too far."

"Yes, well." Beverly says quietly to me, "Stop pursuing him. He's my man."

She turns to Jean-Luc.

"Let's go back to the Enterprise and miss the lecture" the redhead says to him, "I need a lie down there. I'm also going to remind you why we're together. Do you remember the outfit you bought me for Christmas?"

Locutus smiles to himself, "I certainly do."

"Good.". She kisses him passionetly while winking at me. The two beam up.

The redhead has a powerful grip!

Monday, May 02, 2011

Queenie's Lecture (Part One)

"I have to what?" I tell the Admiral over the videoviewer.

"You have to attend a lecture on human/Borg relationships given by the Borg Queen of Cube 01" Bullock told me, "I understand you know this creature."

"Yes I do." I reminded him, "The first time we met, she assimulated me, had a love affair with me. After that, with me human again, she has been chasing after me."

"Well just watch your step, Picard." Admiral says, "We don't want to lose ant Captains, "They cost too much to train."

I pretend that I didn't hear that and switch the viewer off. I go and tell Bev what has happened.

"You're going to what?" Bev exclaims in astonishment, "You realise that Queenie has probably only concocted this lecture as a chance to get to see you?"

"You may be right." I tell her,  "What can I do?"

"I can come along with you." she suggested.

"What? As my chaperone?"

"You could say that, Jean-Luc." she smiled. "It would definately put a damper on her chances."

Several hours later, we are in the queue to meat the Borg Queen on Starbase 7.

"Hello, Locutus." Queenie says to me softly, "I hope we can find the time to have a quiet drink together."

"Sure, we'll love that." pipes up Bev who was standing behind me. The Borg Queen looks shocked.

"Beverly?" she says confusingly, "I didn't know you were on the Guest List?"

I kind of invited myself, Queenie." Bev sharply says, "Aren't you glad to see me?"

"Of course." an enraged Queen answers through her gritted teeth, "Let's go an have that drink."

I think Bev needs to be careful. The Borg Queen would like to keep her away from my side for a few hours so she can be with me.

To be continued.......