Trisha Lewis has told me about a competition on the Planet Travolta.
There, a competition is being held to find the best DJ in the Quadrant.
"Geordi, honey, I just know you can win that one" says Trisha, "You have such a groovy way of delivering records."
She's right; in my holodeck free time, I get my 20th Century disco programs out and there, man, I rule the kingdom. I spin those discs like there's no tomorrow.
Trisha and I head out in a shuttle to Planet Travolta. It's known as the top disco place in the Quadrant, where everybody comes to dance; there are no clocks or windows, so the music never ends.
I've entered myself into the event. Naturally, us DJs have to have a snappy name. 'Geordi La Forge' just doesn't sound a winning moniker.
So we've thought a while and come up with 'The Disco Engineer' Yeah, the DJ who will keep everybody's motor running while the music keeps on going!
Well, we like it anyway.
We arrive at the door; I am wearing a glittery all-white outfit with wide flares and platform shoes; I have a trendy shaped visor all gold coloured, and am wearing a long-haired wig.
"Which of you is the DJ?" asks the doorman.
"I am!" I annoyingly tell him, "You're looking at the Disco Engineer!"
He stares at me from top to to, then laughs.
"If you say so. Go in the Competitor's Entrance; Miss, you go into the Audience section"
"Good luck Geordi-baby!" she shouts, and blows me a kiss.
Inside, the audience are dancing away; in the rules a DJ has the chance to introduce one song, and play it, and is judged while it is still playing.
The MC introduces the next one.
"Now the next DJ is Ice Hammer.."
A guy with a dark black outfit and black glasses walks on; the trouble is, it is so dark, he walks further on and falls off the stage; he is carried off without a song being played.
"Erm...now" continues the MC, "We have Lady Music."
Lady Music comes on to the stage; she has a very skimpy outfit on, with a plunging neckline. She already gets plenty of cheers from the male members of the audience.
"Hello everybody" she says, in a deep seductive voice, "I want to entertain you for a few minutes. Let's dance the night away with this music.
She puts on a slow disco record and blows kisses into the microphone.
Lady Music is good; I think I'd vote for her myself!
Afterward, the MC comes up to the stage to introduce the next DJ...me!
"Now, the next competitor is The Disco Engineer,"
I slowly walk on to the stage, careful not to fall over in my platform shoes; the room has suddenly lit up with the glare from my suit. Trisha is dancing in the audience, cheering me on and giving me a wave.
"He there, cats, " I start with, "I've got a real groovy sound to get you in the mood for lurvvve, here to get you into Disco City Arizona is Barry White with Your The First, My Last, My Everything...take it away, Barry baby yeah...."
We got it together, didn't we?
Nobody but you and me.
We got it together, baby.
My first, my last, my everything,
And the answer to all my dreams.
You're my sun, my moon, my guiding star.
My kind of wonderful, that's what you are.
I know there's only, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
You're, you're all I'm living for
Your love I'll keep for evermore.
You're the first, my last, my everything.
In you I've found so many things,
A love so new, only you could bring.
Can't you see if you,
You'll make me feel this way,
You're like a first morning dew on a brand new day.
I see so many ways that I can love you,
'Till the day I die....
You're my reality, yet I'm lost in a dream.
You're my first, my last, my everything.
I know there's only one, only one like you
There's no way they could have made two.
Girl, you're my reality.
But I'm lost in a dream,
You're the first, you're the last, my everything.
All the time, I am grooving arounf the stage, my suit lighting up the room.
After all the competitors have gone, I find that I am in last place, even below Ice Hammer, who fell off the stage.
"Why's that?" I ask the MC
"They couldn't see you" he answers, "The light from your suit was so dazzling, they had to avert their eyes, and couldn't concentrate on evaluating your performance. I suggest that next time you come in a darker suit."
As Lady Music walks off with her Winner's Cup, she says, "Too bad, darling!" with a sarcastic tone. Trisha hears her and tells her a few unladylike comments.
Good for you, Trisha!