Thursday, February 08, 2007

Accountancy Inspection

We've just been told that we have got to be examined for our accountancy records by Starfleet.

This is ridiculous since currency was eliminated, but a shuttle has arrived, and we've got to let a chartered accountant oversee our records.

I am told he has come by shuttle as he does not try those 'new-fangled transporters'. That they have been going for over two hundred years did not seem important.

We all wait in the shuttlebay, as the door opens.

"Welcome, I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise." I tell him.

"Ahh, err..." he replies, "I'm Henry Popplewell, registered chartered accountant. I'm not used to travelling in space, and much prefer the quiet sanctitute of my village in Suffolk of Ottway St Mary."

Popplewell looks dressed in ancient clothing that would look out of place in the 20th century, let alone the 24th.

"Let me show you to you your quarters." says Worf as he steps forward to escort him.

"Oh, goodness me!" exclaims Popplewell, turning white, then looking at me, "I will be alright, won't I, Captain?"

"I assure you that Mr Worf will look after you." I tell him.

"That was odd." Riker says to me, "It seems that Mr Popplewell hasn't exactly caught up with the times."

"It would seem so, Number One, "He is quite sensitive as well. It's a good job Seven was in her alcove, otherwise he might have fainted."


A few hours later, Popplewell is looking at all incoming and outgoing records that the Enterprise has had.

"It is very frustrated having to look at all these records on a computer screen." he tells me with annoyance, "I much prefer paper and pen. Tell me, do you use the double-entry book-keeping system here."

"Sorry Mr Popplewell." I say, "We only have our computer records."

He sighs with disdain.

"When will people realise that double-entry was the only way of true accountancy."

Deanna comes in to talk with him.

"How are things getting on, Mr Popplewell? Do you like it here?"

"Everything seems to be in order, young lady." he replies, "But things are far too new fangled here. I just want to go home."

"Perhaps you might like our new technology if you try it." she suggests.

Deanna takes him to holodeck 2, and puts a program in. I know what she is thinking.

We all go in, and the scene is a small 19th century office, with workers using quill pens and large books. Popplewell looks in wonder.

"This is paradise!" he exclaims, and throws a computer-generated accountant off his desk to start doing it himself. I've never seen a man so happy since Riker knew there some left over donuts in Ten Forward.


We finally persuade Popplewell to leave the holodeck. He tells me to forget about the accountancy as it all looked good to him. I tell him that there is a holosuite Ottway St Mary, and give him the 19th Century office program to use there.

Popplewell is overjoyed, and decides to beam down, as he wants to start using the program right away.

"Well done, Deanna." I comment.

"Sometimes." she replies, "The past and future can combine well."


Jaime said... I'm nostalgic!

Anonymous said...

I do not think it is fair that spaceships should have accountants, surely you should be exempt.

The Curmudgeon said...


And I'll be donuts are not often left behind in 10 Forward, are they?

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

hey i think i look like that! and there's donuts? i'm IN!!

smiles, bee

Merlyn said...

hah! Everything old is new again. Though I must say I agree with the accountant, sometimes it is good to have quills and ink...

Riker should lay off the doughnuts if he wants to keep his figure trim!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Ah..suddenly I fee like I'm at work. Yuck!

Have a great weekend Captain!

Anonymous said...

Mr Popplewell looks remarkably like our headmistress when I was a sixth former at St Trinian's

Anonymous said...

The highly intuitive Deanna once again works her magic. I always thought of her as the "perfect sister"...

Mother Jones RN said...

I was never good at math. I need someone to keep my books. Maybe Deanna can help me find someone. I'll bring the dounuts.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

If there's no money, then who pays for all the positrons?

Anonymous said...

I'm the same as mother jones, just hopeless at maths, I failed it three times, maybe I would have passed if I had a teacher like Mr Popplewell, a wonderful name.

Anonymous said...

Mr Popplewell and I have much in common!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

We could all do with a Financial Advisor like Mr Popplewell.

Riker and donuts are always linked.

Pat, I noticed a resemblance myself.

Anonymous said...

Absolutely brilliant! Heh...Popplewell! I love it. A perfect fit!

Tawnya Shields said...

I like Popplewell! He seems a likeable chap.
eanna is such a great empath.

Maybe she can find me a new CPA with a personality!

Lahdeedah said...

Leave it to accountants to ensure they still remain employed after the disappearance of all currency.

Susan said...

Paper and pen often a much better combination than keyboards and computers.

Jen said...

Ha, doughnuts! Hee hee...

He seems like a very nice guy, like a lost old grandpa. I'm glad he's going to be OK.

Michael K. Althouse said...

Virtual accounting on the holodeck! Gotta love it!

Michele sent me


Anonymous said...

I like your new visitor map, most impressive.

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