Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Taking DeeDee's Advice

Guest Poster: Seven Of Nine

After reading what she suggested in her Dear DeeDee column, in the Federation Gazette today, I have decided to follow her advice.

The Borg Queen may be incensed, and I might get deactivated, but I shall give it a try.

I am going to be more sociable to other people on the Enterprise.

Up to now, they have tended to run away when I approach them in the corridor, as they think I will assimilate them when they are not looking.

This is nonsense, of course.

The Borg will not assimilate them until I have finished my observations on this vessel. I have tried to tell them this, but it does not help matters. Humans have very strange opinions.


It is lunchtime, so I take my tray into Ten Forward; I am not going to eat anything, but will try to engage in casual conversation.

Four crewmembers are sitting at a table; I will sit next to them.

"What did you think of the Federation telecasts last night?" I ask quickly.

As I look up, the table is empty; where have they gone? Perhaps they had all just finished their lunch.

I look for another table. Two are over there; I sit with them.

"Nice weather we are having." I remark to them; they look puzzled.

"We are travelling in space!" the man says to me, "Look, do you mind if you sit somewhere else? You are making my fiance nervous, besides we want to talk about 'private' things."

"That is most interesting." I reply, "Human behaviour is what I have to study. Please continue to speak intimately to each other and I shall listen carefully."

The woman he is with bursts into tears.

"Now see what you've done!" the man tells me, "We just wanted some privacy."

"There will be no privacy when you have been assimilated!" I say, "The Hive Mind is one mind, and we shall all become one."

The woman wails even more, and the two leave.

My social skills seem to require more work on them.

Ro Laren walks in; she sees me and comes over. I explain what I am trying to do.

"I have trouble fitting in, as well, Seven." she tells me, "I get into a lot of trouble with Commander Riker for insubordination. Just be yourself, and not someone else."

"That does not make me fit in" I reply.

"Do you WANT to fit in, Seven? she asks.

Ro Laren may well be right. I am more contented as a drone and annoying people, rather than trying to please them.

"Thank you, Ro Laren." I tell her, "I will put you at the back of the queue to be assimilated."

"Glad to help!" she says with a laugh.

As I leave I tell two at the bar that the Borg are supreme, and resistance is futile. This causes them to fall off their chair.

I feel a lot more at ease now, and can relax in my alcove.


The Curmudgeon said...

Wouldn't Seven want to assimilate Ro sooner rather than later since she obviously has so much of value to offer the Hive mind?

No matter, Ro and Seven can start their own clique and become social by being anti-social.

That's how it works in high school, doesn't it?

Tawnya Shields said...

I feel a bit sorry for Seven. I;ma bit introverted and anti-social myself. I however have no wish to assimiliate humans and do my best to run when I see them. Especially large groups. That mob mentality scares the crap out of me.

Ciera said...

Curmudgeon has an idea there...

from the sounds of it, there's already no privacy on the Enterprise, not if the captain can go into some one else's files.

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Seven and Data could get together and try to watch people just to creeep them out.

Anonymous said...

It's so much more fun to assimilate people whe they're not looking..wouldnt;it be cool to assimlate people with a mobile phone camera!!! That person cut me on line at the supermarket...(Then I point the camera phone) and..ZAPPP!!!!

Merlyn said...

I do sympathize with Seven having experienced that not fitting in thing most of my childhood. ( I write a little about that on the recycled crows blogger blog.

But I also agree with Ro, be yourself. There's nothing worse that trying to change who you are so you can fit in with people who don't like you anyway.

Find people who do like you for you, not who they would like you to be.

In my experience, trying to be something or someone you are not never makes anyone happy.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Poor Seven :(

Anonymous said...

Curmudgeon's idea could maybe be developed for the next chapter.

Anonymous said...

Poor Seven. But still.....a hilarious chapter. :D:D

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I think Seven was quite happy with the end result, kmowing just to be herself.

Merlyn. good advice there.

Mrs M, judging by the amount of people that walk around with mobile phones, everybody is getting assimilated already.

Ciera, looking in files was only in order to finish off DeeDee's column.

Curmudgeon, I think Seven is doing Ro a favour by puttibg her last. Enemies go first in the Assimilation Chamber!

dragonflyfilly said...

if you don't want to be assimilated, come to Canada, (*chuckle*) but seriously, Canada used to be referred to as a "melting pot", but i think now people and cultures don't do that so much, they don't really assimilate, Canada has become a mosiac if that's the right term. Sometimes i find it a bit confusing, but on the whole i think it is a good thing.

But why is it so difficult for others on the ship to accept Seven as Seven, - it seems to me that the crew are trying hard to change her into more of what they would be comfortable with - is there such a thing as Reverse-Assimilation?

Free to Be said...

If it's warm, I'd be happy to be assimilated. In fact, I'd be the first in line!

If this shows up three times, blame blogger.

Jaime said...

I'm glad Seven is able to be comfortable with her individuality (as paradoxical as that sounds...)

Anonymous said...

Seven is an "ice princess", but that is part of her charm...

Gyrobo said...

Seven is my kind of people.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I agree with Jaime & Windwhisperer. We should all be happy with ourselves, and not let others change us. Good for Seven.