Monday, August 17, 2009

Trouble On Wondawowman (Part One)

Guest Poster: Karena

I've just had to fetch Commander Mark Hathaway out of the brig. He tends to spend a lot of time there, usually whenever Captain Erika Hernandez catches him in the arms of another woman.

All right, the top two Officers on the USS Rhode Island are not supposed to fratenise in that way, but everybody on the ship knows it goes on. Nobody wants to go and report it to Starfleet, unless they want to spend a lifetime cleaning out warp conduits.

I approach the Captain's quarters, and she comes out.

"All right, Ensign." she says to me, "I'll take over from here. By the way, we are heading to your home planet of Wondawowman. Your mother, Queen Diana has explained the reason to me. She will call again in 45 minutes to tell you."

With that, she takes the Commander by the hand and leads him into her room. The door closes and I hear the sound of heavy kisses.

It looks like the Captain has forgiven the Commander for his transgressions.

But what's going on at home? I grab my spear and run to the quarters I share with my husband, Wesley Crusher.


"You're overreacting, honeybunch." Wes says to me, "I'm sure it's very trivial."

"I don't, pumpkin." I reply, as I slam my spear on the floor, "The Rhode Island doesn't just change course for my planet for no reason whatsoever."

The time approaches, and my mother's face appears on the screen. She looks rather concerned.

"Daughter." she says solemnly, "I fear that there are ill winds over our society."

"What do you mean, mother?" I ask desperately. Sometimes it can be hard getting a straight answer.

"There has been a rebellious faction building up amongst the amazons." she continues, "They wish to have me deposed."

I am shocked. No one has ever tried to depose the Queen of the Amazons in all the centuries they have been in place. It's a bigger shock than if I ever heard that Commander Hathaway intended to remain faithful to the Captain.

"Who would they have in your place, Mother?" I ask.

"That's the worst part, daughter." she says, "Your sister, the mischievous Nexa."

To be continued....


Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

We're up early this week.
Welcome back to The Queen's Tuesday Meme. Each week the type of meme will change; sometimes silly, sometimes serious, but always fun!

This meme is all about using your imagination. Free your inner blogginess. Step outside the proverbial blox (that's blog + box for all you non-blog speakers). Answer these ridiculous situational questions and post them on your own blog. Here's the situation for today. We won't tell a soul. And remember:
Don't end up in the dungeon

#6 The Bachelor's Dating Meme

In honor of my 500th "Bachelor of The Day" to post this week on my site called Dating Profile Of The Day we bring you The Dating Meme. For three years I've been rummaging through online dating profiles to find the zaniest and most ridiculous profile headlines out there. They write 'em. I spoof 'em. Do you know that some folks are grammatically insane?? And some are just insane.

Ergo, today's meme was born.

Are you up for the challenge? Take a look at these seven dating profile headlines from real dating sites. Imagine you are trying to find a date and these gems have just landed in your inbox. How would you respond to them? Write a comeback response to each one. Be sarcastic, be funny, be brave! Spelling errors not my own. Names and locations have been changed to protect the terminally single. If you need inspiration, go HERE for hundreds of funny examples.

1. Birdbrain looking for a mate.

This candidate is for the birds!

2. Where Are All The Bad Girls?

Hiding behind a fence until you've gone away, I should think!

3. A Good Woman Is Hard To Fine

Especially if you're a police officer...this one needs to be put in the slammer!

4. Does God Know You've Escaped From Heaven?

I don't think it was heaven that this guy escaped from. Send for the men in white coats!

5. I Put the Fun in DysFUNctional

And he put the moron into oxymoron.

6. Does this profile make me look fat?

No, but your body sure does!

7. I'm a no nonsince person with little tolorrance for stupitity

Lit me spill it owt too yoo....forget it!!!!

Good luck! And thank you for playing The Queen's Tuesday Meme.

How To Stay Out Of The Dungeon

Once upon a time in a faraway Bloggiverse there lived a maiden named Queen Mimi Pencil Skirt. She slayed her own dragons, stoked her own fire and well.....wrote memes by the light of the Bloggingham moon. One day a kind blogger from England noticed her meme lovin' ways and royally crowned her Mimi Queen of Memes. As time passed in the peaceful kingdom of Bloggingham, her Royal Highness found comfort in the company of fellow bloggers who also loved memes. But the Queen had a wicked disposition too. It is widely reported in historical Blogosphere archives that any and all bloggers found guilty of not completing their memes were promptly thrown into the dreaded Bloggingham dungeon.
If I were you, I'd do the meme


The Curmudgeon said...

Nexa? Nothing like a little sibling rivalry to spice up the week.

But is Nexa controlling the forces of rebellion... or is she being used?

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Now this could be a huge problem!

Xmichra said...

lmao... And he put the moron into oxymoron.... nice ;)

Belle Epoque said...

Deposing the Amazon that's a TALL order!

Mimi Lenox said...

Oxymoron cracked me up. And your misspellings in the last one - classic! I knew you'd be all over this one. Great job, Jean-Luc.

Your funnies have kept you out of the dungeon one more week. Bwaahahhhahha!

Lori L. Clark Art said...

#6 hahaha! Great! :) I didn't ask if you wanted to dance! I said you sure look fat in those pants! :)

eda said...


Mys said...

wow, moron in oxymoron! very witty indeed. great answers!

Gordon said...

Hmm nexa huh, i knew that girl was trouble with a Capital Trouble not just a capital T... I like that meme, your answers are witty. I think I'd end up in the dungeons..
Hmm has anyone any idea what eda said... I don't read canton or kenji.

Heather Dugan ("Footsteps") said...

Nothing like keeping it all in the family, huh? Although, that could make for some awkward family dinners...

amanda said...

yep moron in the oxymoron was awesome I am still laughing!
have a great one!

j said...

Great answers! I loved #5 :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Glad you like them. I love doing Mimi's date answers on her site.


Upon your command, Captain...Beware, sir, does no one recognize Eda's message as Klingon? Rebel outposts are stockpiling, sir. Stay safe!


Upon your command, Captain...Beware, sir, does no one recognize Eda's message as Klingon? Rebel outposts are stockpiling, sir. Stay safe!


2 comments for the price of 1! You must be living right, Jean-Luc...

Linda said...

Ut-oh, looks like more trouble in the galaxy!

Nice job with the Queen's meme - it's sure to keep you out of the dungeon!

Unknown said...

Captain: How often I've considered the emphasis on "moron" in the word Oxymoron! A great post!! :D)

mielikki said...

I loved your answer for #5, its the best one out there!

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