Monday, August 10, 2009

Body Swap (Part Four)

This is Jean-Luc Picard...but my mind is in the body of Deanna Troi!

It started when the two of us found an artifict on Arkos IV that swapped our minds into each others body. The machine said the effect would wear off in time, but if we talked anyone except each other about it, there would be a psychological lock in our minds that would make the effect permanant.


As a result, Deanna has had to take control of the ship in my form, while I've had to learn how to walk in high heels and also listen to some secrets in my role as Counselor. believe you me, there are some things I've heard people confess to while listening to their problems that would make your hair stand on end. not that I can say anything, though, of course. Doctor-patient confidentiality.

I've been getting some funny looks from Bev, as well, as she is convinced that Deanna and I are having an affair, due to the fact that the two of us have had to meet in secret to discuss the problem. Not only that, I have had to fend of the attentions of Will Riker, as Deanna, in my form, has been trying to get away from Bev.

"What are we gonna do?" Deanna says to me in a secluded moment, "The effect shows no sign of wearing off. Last night, Beverly came up to me and kissed me passionately, saying she kisses much better than the Troi woman."

"What did you do then?" I reply.

"I went red, ran off down the corridor, and hid in a Jeffries tube until she vanished."

I smile while thinking of this scenario, until I hear the march of heels in the corridor and the door flings open.

"I thought I'd find you two here!" she shouts, then looks at me, "Well we're going to settle this right here and now, Troi."

"It's not what you think, Bev." I say to her, "We just can't say anything because..."

"Ha!" Bev laughs, "I've heard that line before. Get out, Jean-Luc. Troi and I have got something to settle."

Deanna, in my body, scurries out as fast as she can.

Bev looks firmly at me.

"I should have guessed this would happen, Troi." she says, rolling up her sleeves, "Although I thought you were a friend of mine, especially after all we've been through."

"Bev." I say, "I don't want to hurt..."

She comes towards me and thumps me in the eye, and hits me in the stomach. The impact sends me down on the floor. Bev kicks me repeatly and leaps on me, tearing at my hair.


Eventually, Bev gets up, and smiles with satisfaction.

"That'll teach you to mess with my man!" she smirks, and walks out of the room.

I stagger up, trying to stop the bleeding through my torn uniform, go over to the mirror and see the two black eyes I have.

Deanna creeps back in.

"Has she gone?" she says, then screams at my appearance.

"Don't worry." I tell her, "I'll go to the SickBay and get cleaned up right away. It might be a good idea if I get the holographic doctor to do it. I don't think Bev will be too keen."

To be continued...

Editors Note:

Mimi of The Queen's Meme has sent this in....

The Queen's Meme #5: The Woodstock Meme: I Dig It!

Forty years ago this week, three days of peace, love and rock 'n roll (and mud) happened near Bethel, New York. It was the Summer of 1969.
Attire: Hippie jeans. Long hair. Legal or illegal smoke. Psychedelic vibe.

The scene: You are at Woodstock. You go alone but meet up with a beautiful man/woman. You spend three days together.
Put yourself inside the peace & love vibe. You can choose to be stoned or straight. I put it in the story for the sake of reality. Just don't inhale in this meme.
This is the conversation you have upon meeting or you can make it into what you overhear others say.
It makes no sense and has no continuity by design.
You must fill in the familiar blanks to finish the story. Some are song lyrics. You may use more than one word to fill in the blanks.

Oh! I forgot to tell you (must be the smoke in here) You have a new name. It must a combination of the first letter of your first name, the third letter of your middle name and the last letter of your last name.
Peace out! Somebody might wanna turn on a fan in here.

1. "Hello, my groovy name is Gur (not very groovy is it?)

By the looks of those flowers in your hair, you must be a gravedigger.
Didn't they tell you? No shovels allowed!

2. Come on, Baby, light my beard.

When I lay me down to claim benefits I pray the man will give my money to keep.

If I wake before I wake, I pray the trip I'm taking won't be my last to take.
**puff puff**

3. Because the first time ever I saw your far out face I realized that what the world needs now is a groovy sweet babe. Besides, I always feel guilty watching you meditate when I should be claiming benefit.
But I dig it!

4. Have I told you lately that I dig you? Hey! Don't step on that flower child !!
Dude. That guy is really weird but.....

5. There's a party in my sleeping bag and half a million of my hippie friends are coming over tonight and we're gonna rock my baby off my mind. Darn the luck. It's raining Sonny's (s) and Chers_____ (s)
Luckily, Papa was a rolling joint and I'm on a first name basis with the cops.
**puff puff**

6. I'm really digging your threads but that earwig has got to go. Those flowers in your hair are beginning to smell like an unkempt garden.
Have I told you lately that I uuhhh..the drug has made me forget... you?
** puff puff**

7. I'm beginning to see leaves in those trees over there. Do you see it?
Out of all the millions of hippies here, you are the most weirdest, most normal babe.

But I dig it, man.

**puff puff**

8. I'd use all my blood, sweat and alimony cheques just to get next to your tent.

Love is free but I'd really like to buy that guy's chequebook.
It says "Make a mess not make amends. " Far out!

9. I'm grateful to be a record producer 'cause there's a bad song rising in Jefferson's Airplane. But that's okay, 'cause Joe Cocker said I could get by with a little punch from my friends.

10. Oh, by the way, your van is on fire. But I dig it.

** You might stay out of the dungeon if you post a picture of yourself or someone you know in your hippie clothes (if you're old enough)**


The Curmudgeon said...

Why must it always come to violence?

I hope this effect wears off before Bev thinks to ask her daughter-in-law for the loan of her spear....

The Mistress of the Dark said...

This gets better and better.


Captain, we're showing our age! But you wear it sooo well!

Unknown said...

Feels good to be back on the star ship Captn!!!

Belle Epoque said...

I'll gladly swap with any of you right about now...(considering how things are going for me personally lately)!

Mimi Lenox said...

Dear Gur,

You are the first memer to actually say "flower child"...I knew a few of those (umm, I was one of those)
You're beginning to see leaves in the tress? Jean-Luc, you are such a partier.

Oh no! The van is on fire.
Such great imagination here.
Enjoyed it!
I'm really lovin' these answers today.

MNX The Groovy Queen

Finding Pam said...

Great answers to the Queen's Meme. This was hard because I can't remember that far back! Ha!

Unknown said...

Quite groovy! :D)

mielikki said...

far out answers, man.
I imagine Woodstock would have been a completely different concert in the wilds of space.....

eda said...


Anonymous said...

Today is my lucky day :)
Apple is giving review copies of iPad to 100 lucky person. Go to and apply for it.

Anonymous said...