Thursday, December 15, 2005

Computer Problems

The senior staff are not in a good position right now.

For some reason the ship's computer has rebelled against us, and we are all trapped in Ten Forward by force fields.

The rest of the crew are isolated in their quarters or cannot move, due to the force fiels that surrounds them.

I'll try again.

"Computer! This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard. You will remove all forcefields and return to normal."

"Unable to comply."

"Why not."

"Authorisation not recognised."

Betrayed by a heap of circuits!

I'll try the old standby of asking the others so that it loiks like my idea at the end of it all. That is the first rule taught to us when we assume the rank of Captain.

"Suggestions, anyone?" I inquire.

Riker, Deanna, Worf and Beverly look blank, as if they have been in last place on 'Jeopardy'.

"Mr La Forge?"

"Can we switch the engine off?"

"How do we do that from here?" asks Worf, with a disgusted look.

"Perhaps we can reboot the computer?" suggests Data.

"How would that be possible?" I ask.

"We could set up a neural link with my positronic brain to any computer interface here in Ten Forward. I could send an instruction to switch off. It might even help find out the cause and counteract it."

I am totally confused, but tell Data to go ahead.

He opens a circuit in his head and links a wire to the interface. It lights up and Data's eyes start going around. Then he falls asleep."

"Do not do this again, or Life Support will be removed!" the computer tells us.

"I've got an idea!" says Riker, "We could try the Sid Manouvre."

"Yes, Number One, that will work!"

Geordi goes white.

"Captain, you know what will happen to the circuits...."

"Yes, Mr La Forge, but our situation is desperate."

Riker goes to the replicator and asks for a hammer. He goes under the computer interface and starts hammering at the circuits. The lights start flashing on and off. Eventually, they go down and restart, this time without the forcefields.

The computer responds to my Command Codes. Data is awake again.

"Well done, Number One." I say, "The Sid Manouvre needs to be written into all Starfleet manuals."

"What do you think it was?" asks Deanna.

"I don't know, Counselor. We may have cured the commom cold, but over four centuries, computer blips are the biggest puzzles of all."


Anonymous said...

i seriously keep a hammer close to my computer, just in case. give me attitude, we'll just see about that.

Jen said...

I have to bang on the side of my computer tower when it starts buzzing. I wonder if a hammer would work better?

I'm glad the Sid Manouver worked, for a second there I thought you were going to have to beam Wesley up to fix the problem...

Running2Ks said...

Technology in the future seems no better LOL. The Bill Gates solution of reboot doesn't cure all, but if I had a hammer...

Ciera said...

hmm. In theory, this problem could very well pop up again.

Anonymous said...

You can get Queen Ramallah from Star Wars to come fix it. She's known for this!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Well if you're going to be stuck in a room on the ship, at least it was the Ten Forward.

And with the computer, maybe you have spyware. Is Banzai Buddy bouncing around on your main screen?

dddragon said...

Maybe the computer was upset about not being invited to the Christmas party.

Are you sure Q isn't still around?

Professor Xavier said...

Geordi turned white? Now that is quite a trick!

Jardena said...

Maybe Wesley is on the ship, and this is another one of those odd coincidences that his professors noticed.
Or Spyware

Nic said...

LOL, well Sid is good for something, even when he's not there.

Trinity13 said...

I would have loved to have seen Geordi turn white!!!

Ciera said...

pssst . Cappy, you probably don't have time to do this, but I tagged you over at my site this morning. :)

Jaime said...

*snickerchortle* Too funny!

November Rain said...


I can see it now a red box with a glass window inside a hammer box says in case of an emergency

Anonymous said...

That Sid guy, wasn't he orig. a watch repair Man.

Ive fixed more timex watches than I care to remember that way.

M. C. Pearson said...

LOL~ Gotta love the mallet.

ribbiticus said...

guess the command center's up and running again, huh? great!

here via michele. :)

Lady Yuki Shizuka said...

Let's just hope that this trick will work on all computers, including Macs and Windows. All hail the mallet!

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