Saturday, December 10, 2005

TWQ: Silly Questions And Good Answers

This weekend, the subject turns to something that annoys us all; inane questions.

What annoying and banal questions do you know? Do you remember when they were used. Can you think of a witty and sarcastic reply that would be perfect to use?

Here's my answer:

The most annoying question I know begins with "How do you feel...". This is usally said by media people after something has happened. Their questions may be, "How do you feel now that you have won six gold medals? or "How do you feel now that your husband has been imprisoned for thirty years for tax evasion, although he said he was innocent?"

A snappy answer to both might be, "Wow! Those performance enhaning drugs worked well!" and, "Now I can get divorced and marry his accountant brother!"

Now it's over to you...


Anonymous said...

Well same here I am kindof annoyed with that kind of question especially if the answer is somewhat obvious.

Btw, Michele sent me

craziequeen said...

Other than the one you meantion, Jean-Luc..

my pet hate is 'Can I ask a stupid question?'

Answer 1 - you just have!
Answer 2 - There's no such thing as stupid questions, only stupid answers!

NOT here from Michele - here for TWQ :-)

kenju said...

I agree on the inane questions newspeople ask their interviewees:

"How do you feel?".....just after their spouse has been killed in a horrid car wreck. How stupid!

Another one is when I drop something accidentally, and my spouse says "What did you do that for?" I didn't DO it - it just happened!

Michele sent me this morning.

Anonymous said...

Oooh, I have one. I watch the today show and all of the co-hosts are notorious for asking guest things like, "How great was that?" How do you answer? "Um, very great." (via Michele!)

utenzi said...

Michele sent me, Captain.

CQ has a good one up there.

There's lots of stupid questions. The first one that comes to mind is when you are at a door and the person asks you if you want to come in. Why the Hell else would you be standing there?

I guess that falls into the catagory of "polite questions" which are almost always stupid ones.

Prego said...

I stopped watching the local news years ago or TV altogether, for that matter.

I'm a teacher - and whenever I write a quiz on the board, it never fails:

"Do you want us to write the questions out?"

I always respond, "Yes, write them ten times each so I can give you a zero."

Bill said...

Worst question ever:
"Would you like to go to the prom with me?" I asked it seven times.
typical response:
"I'm not going this year" and then all six girls were there anyway. I made sure to treat my date like a queen all evening.

Ciera said...

"What do you think about......" has various endings

Hello?! I'm not paid to think. and besides, you don't really want to know my thoughts because you just want to validate your own and I can tell you already that my thoughts disagree with yours and when you realize that you'll just get mad at me.

HRH Courtney, Queen of Everything said...

When (we) women ask men, "what are you thinking?"
We have to stop.
Here via Michele this morning.

Jen said...

Anything related to having 4 kids, like "Are they all yours?" Um, no, please don't tell the police you saw them here...

Anonymous said...

People are always asking me "How do you feel?"

I always answer fine but I want to really say, "I feel lumpy!"

Sue Richards said...

"What's new."

"My underwear".


poopie said...

I'm with Courtney...asking "What are you thinking" of a man is like inviting the cold shoulder ;)

Professor Xavier said...

Inane greeting:
"Hey, how's it going?"

My various responses:

Lori said...

One question is I'll have my daughters pictures in a frame and then company will come over and they will say...Oh did you take her to get her pictures made??....No that girl in that picture just looks like her!!

Another one is...I'm at drive thru at Mcdonalds and they give me a bag of food...and then say do you need napkins???....Heck no...I'll just use my sleeve....LOL

Have a great day!!!

Ditsy Chick said...

I hate the, did you get your haircut question. A) My hair usually is a different color and B) my hair cut is usually pretty different. Why not, I hate your hair, or I like it or a rug would have looked better?

I always say, "No, but I did wash it today."

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Brilliant responses so far! Keep 'em coming!

craziequeen said...

Asking a woman who can't have children:

'but did you want children?'

yeah - here, let me steal yours!


craziequeen said...

me again! [waits for huge sigh from audience] Michele sent me this time!

Thanks, Jean-Luc, this has inspired my advent for today - The Christmas Conversation Piece!
Though I doubt I'll get too many annoying questions... ;-)


Tammy said...

My kids have a habit of asking, "are you ok?" or "what's wrong?"....when everything is fine. Drives me crazy!

Good morning! Visiting via Michele today. :)

craziequeen said...

MB says 'what's for dinner?'

he's not really interested, 'cos when I say he can have what he wants he says 'whatever'.....

men [grinds teeth]

and Tammy has reminded me of the ultimate annoying question:
are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet? are we there yet? :-D


OldLady Of The Hills said...

Are you feeling any better?
This question is asked by the ASKER so that they will feel better about what is wrong with you and because they are in denial about what they already actually do know....How sad for the one being asked!!! How sad and how alone tyat makes them feel.

Michele sent me this morning.

"Jet" said...

Answer to question number one... I am exhausted! What do you think?! After all of these years training I need a break!

FINALLY I can get laid! Sorry-- first thought that came to my mind!

Anonymous said...

I hate it when something traumatic happens and I'm asked, "are you okay?"

Ok - I understand that people are trying to be sympathetic ... but NO, I'm not okay! If I was okay, I wouldn't be drowning in my own tears!!

hehe - well, those "how do you feel" questions really get me, too.

Glad to have met ya at Michele's place!

The Gnat's Trumpet said...

Maybe not exactly responsive, but the question "Why?" when the answer would be obvious if the person person asking had been listening to you at all.

Michele sent me.

BarbaraFromCalifornia said...

How are you can be anoying, since I always say fine, whether it is true or not.

David Edward said...

I love when my kids ask me "did that hurt?' after I smash my hand with a hammer. No snappy comeback yet.... I just wince and smile a goofy smile, like "what do YOU think?"

Thanks for your nice comment

Anonymous said...

Here via Michele again. Fun reading others' stupid questions.

OldLady Of The Hills said...

One of my favorites and I have done it myself, too, I'm sorry to say..When you are choking and can't hardly catch your breath..someone ays.."Are You All Right?" Well, If I were I wouldn't be turning blue!!! OH Nurse!!!
Here from Michele again Jean-Luc...

Running2Ks said...

I can't stand questions people answer. Like when they nod and say something like, "You must be so happy about that".

It makes me want to burst into tears on the spot (even if I am so happy about that).

Raehan said...

Most annoying question?

For some reason, "Can I draw?" annoys me because it's always asked right after I've cleaned the table, or right before we sit down to dinner.

I also hate when reporters ask how did it feel. "How did it feel when you watched your wife die in front of you?"


Anonymous said...

Hey captain, you are now Blog Of Teh Day in my establishment :-)

M. C. Pearson said...

"What's for dinner?"

"Whatever you make!" Darn it. They're too young but I'd love to say that especially since they will agree to nothing I'd really like to make. It is always either mac and cheese, pigs in a blanket, or pizza. I'm really sick of cheese.

Jardena said...

How about questions that aren't intended as questions, but as a passive way to have someone do something for you, for example, 'would you be a dear and do xy&z?'. I like professor xavier's last answer/response, I've used that before.
And I agree, asking a person who's house just burned down how they feel should warrent a bonk on the head with the microphone/camera/whatever is at hand.
And then there are those who ask really complex questions to make themselves sound smart. About them, I have no comment that would be polite.

dddragon said...

When I was in college, a friend of mine had a theory that people ask "How are you?" without really caring or listening to your reply. So she started to say things like "rotten" to see what the response to that was. Most of the time, the other would then say automatically "that's good" before going on with their conversation.

I have fraternal twin girls. When they were about 18 months old and I was in the grocery store checkout line, the clerk made a remark about my twins. The old man in front of us turned around and looked at my girls. "Twins?" he said. "Yes," I smiled back. He looked at them and then asked me "are you sure?"

Yeah, I was there when they were born.


November Rain said...

CQ, Jen and David have some classic...

I love the hubby and it tickles me that he calls me several times during the day to talk but annoys me is his first question

What are you doing?

I normally say the same thing your doing talking on the phone

now what were you doing?

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

"Can I ask you a question?"

You just did.

"Your name is Jon? What's that short for?"

It's short for Jooooooooooooooooon.

I've actually said that second one once or twice. I heard that on a TV show once.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Well done, everybody! You've surpassed yourself with some wonderful examples of some silly questions and great ideas for future answers.

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