Friday, December 08, 2006

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Five)

It's Day Five of Seven, and the party is still going on in Ten Forward...

Firstly, here is Summer Dawn O'Ciardha ....



It was going to be a rough trip. The Starship Enterprise, a ship of the future sent me an invitation from the future, and somehow I received it. Time travel is a concept that is utterly ridiculous to me.

The last time I was invited to the Enterprise I was getting ready for school, and I vanished, and arrived in the 'Transporter room' as they called it. It was an interesting party, and they returned me to the exact time in which I vanished.

School went by long and painful this time. They said they were going to transport me to the Enterprise tomorrow evening at six. Rather then question, I called and Invited my boyfriend, Chris.

I dressed to scare, like always, black fishnets, short black skirt, black tank top with a silken black over shirt, and I did my makeup in Egyptian style only using black and white however.

When Chris arrived he was dressed to match wearing all black, which was very unlike him; but he wore a crimson red tie. I smiled and kissed his cheek.

"Hey… This feels a little weird at first." He looked confused. "Where are we going again?" He asked me. I responded with, "The future. It is very confusing." He nodded, "Okay, I'll play this game, Summer." he said.

I grabbed my present for him. It was wrapped in black wrapping paper, and tied with a black silken bow. I held Chris' hand tightly, "Any moment now," I said softly to him.

That's when a feeling welled up beneath my feet happened, and I held onto Chris' hand tightly; When I opened my eyes we were onboard the Enterprise. Chris was in shock. I held his hand.

"It's okay, we are here," he was frightened. I was too the first time I was on the Enterprise. Not only were there aliens, there was so much technology I was taken back. He stared in awe.

"Summer," he said submissively, "Summer you weren't joking." I spoke into his ear, "We've got to go see the Captain." "Summer… This is the Enterprise . From… Star Trek?" I raised my eyebrow, "What are you going on about?" He shook his head, "Nothing. This is a dream, right?"

"Well, the Captain is Captain Picard. So be respectful," I warned. He nodded, and I walked towards the door, and it opened. Inside there was a table of presents, and I set mine on it. It was a bottle of holy-water taken from Jerusalem and blessed by a priest and a shaman.

I held his hand as we walked forward, "Don't look down to any beings on this ship. It's a sign of disrespect on most of their planets." I learned that last time I was here. Once inside the bar area I looked around for the Captain.

Chris seemed shocked by the whole thing. So much so I was leading him, and he was keeping quiet. As we passed people he spoke their name under his breath, and when we finally arrived to Captain Picard; Chris stared.

"Hello Summer, I hope the trip through time went well," Captain Picard said turning from a guest, "It did Captain. Thank you for inviting me."

"And who is this handsome young man?" He spoke motioning towards Chris, "This is my boyfriend, Captain, Chris." Chris held his hand forward. Captain took his hand and shook it heavily.

He took my hand and kissed it, "As always, it's a pleasure to see you." I blushed, "Merry Christmas Captain." "Merry Christmas you two! Enjoy the Party, if you need anything come and get me, okay?"

"Thank you, Sir," Chris said. Finally he seemed to snap from his daze and I sat him down on the couch, and I went to get us punch. When I returned Chris was dozing off, probably still thinking this was some kind of dream.

"Chris… Wake up," he nodded, "I am up. Thanks for bringing me Summer." I handed him his punch and I drank my gently. That's when a woman with pale skin walked up.

"I am Seven of Nine," she spoke, "I noticed you and your life mate were alone." I responded quickly, "He's not my life mate; we are just dating." "Dating?" she asked, "What is this dating?"

"It's a courtship to find a life mate. Seven, are you Borg?" I asked. "Yes," she responded, "Locutus was sure to include us heavily this year." That got me started, "How do you work? You are vampires right? Vampires that make other vampires through technology right? Try and explain it."

"You're very energetic," she responded, "The Borg are supreme. Resistance of them is Futile. We assimilate other species and cultures into our own, take their strength and lose their weaknesses, we change assimilate through technology, and vats, which make you into a productive member of the Borg."

"That's interesting, is it a DNA reconfiguration or cyborg technology that make the brain a changeable hard drive?" She looked taken back, "You're intelligent for a human, it's a little of both. The vats make you look and have the strength of those assimilated in the Borg, and the technology makes you part of the Borg overmind, to be lead by a Queen."

"Are you dead or alive?" "Alive." "Only females are made into Queens, or is there Borg Kings?" "Only women, There are Borg who act as emissaries between two peoples, such as Locutus." "This is interesting. And how do you assimilate abilities?" "You're a magician, are you not? That's why I came to speak to you. You use Magic."

"Not so much a Magician." "See, if we were to assimilate you, we would all be able to use your magic." These people were very interesting; scary; but interesting.

"I see, and you wanted me to become Borg?" "I could speak to the Queen to get you to become a high Borg, no useless drone." "I'm sorry Seven, I have to go home. I have school." "If you ever wanted to…" "I will come to you. I promise."

She stood, and walked away. Chris was very asleep. I kissed his cheek, "Chris. We have to go; You're very tired." He nodded and I had to guide him to the Transporter Room, "Thank Captain Picard for me. It was a wonderful party." We arrived at home, and I made sure Chris got to Brendan's.

------------------




Coming in with Private Hudson and Queen Galacta is Jon, Intergalactic Gladiator

With Queen Galacta, Private Hudson and I set to go, I shot the Danger Sled into space. I punched up the coordinates into the controls and the ship leapt into warp. Time bent around us as we flew to the future towards the Enterprise and its Christmas party.

“Remember last year?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Hudson answered. “That was fun.”

“You spent most of the party avoiding Lt. Worf.”

“Yeah, well, I’ve got a plan for that.”

“Really?” I asked. “What are you going to do?”

“I can’t say,” he replied mysteriously. “It’s top secret. Tippy top top secret!”

My space plane exited the time warp and I quickly found the Enterprise on the scanners. I then returned the starship’s hail and received instructions to land in the shuttle bay. The Danger Sled nudged to a halt and I dropped the ramp for your exit. Lt Worf was standing on the deck, ready to meet us.

“Welcome to the Enterprise and,” Worf paused and clenched his jaws. “Happy holidays. It is good to see you again, Jon.”

“Good to see you again, Worf.” I shook his hand. “Allow me to present Galacta, Queen of the Galaxy.”

The Queen regally stepped off my ship. Worf bowed curtly towards her and she returned his show of respect with a nod.

“It is my honor to meet you, Warrior,” she said to him. “I have heard many tales of your greatness and you are a credit to your captain and your ship.”

“Thank you, your Majesty,” Worf replied. “It is a true honor to have you aboard.”

Private Hudson stepped off the ship next. He looked nervous.

“DaHjaj ghaH QaQ jaj Daq Hegh,” the private blurted towards the security officer.

“SoH quv jIH tlhej Hegh,” Worf replied. “You honor me with your knowledge of the Klingon language.”

“Th-thank you,” Hudson managed to respond.

As we walked through the corridors towards the Ten Forward, I leaned towards Hudson.

“How did you learn Klingon?” I asked in a hushed tone.

“Oh, I found it on the InterN.E.T,” he whispered back.

“You should be careful, though,” I responded. “If a Klingon smells flop sweat, he’ll go into a battle rage.”

“Really?” Hudson squeaked. “Uh, oh, uh, really? That’s interesting.”

We stepped into the lounge and I announced the Queen’s entrance. She exchanged pleasant greetings with Captain Picard, and then stepped over to a table where Professor Xavier was sitting.

“Hey, there’s Cyclops over by the buffet table!” Hudson said excitedly. “He’s talkin’ to a couple of green girls!”

Before I could respond, Hudson darted over towards the group. Shortly thereafter I heard Cyclops and Hudson yell “We are… the Wyld Stallions!” together.

I grabbed a beer from off the bar and made my way back towards the Queen and Xavier. I made small talk with the two and we recalled our recent first contact mission together where we met the living ship Sargon. As we talked, Galacta and Xavier engaged each other more and more, which in short order made me feel like the third wheel. Deciding to leave these two alone to talk, I excused myself to mingle with some of the other party goers.

“Aa-are y-you J-Jon the Inter-guh-galactic Gladiator?” I heard from behind me.

“Yes I am,” I replied as I turned and stuck out my hand. “And you are?”

“R-R-Ruh-Reg B-Barclay,” he stammered as he tried to shake my hand. “I-I’m j-just such a huge f-fan!”

“Really?” I smiled. “I’m flattered. It’s always great to meet a fan.”

“Y-y-y-y-y you remember that one time y-y-y-y-you fought the Megataur? Th-th-that was cool.”

“Wait a minute, you’re Reg Barclay? The Reg Barclay?”

“Y-y-y-yah, er, yes I am.”

“Wow, I didn’t realize!” I pumped his hand excitedly. “I’m a huge fan of your work!”

“R-r-r-r-r-really?”

“You bet,” I answered. “Your work is instrumental in getting Voyager back to the Alpha Quadrant.”

“It w-w-wuh-wuh-was?”

“Wait,” I stopped to think. “Maybe that didn’t happen yet. All this crazy time traveling is getting me confused.”

“W-w-w-w-w---”

“If you didn’t get them back, then just forget I told you this,” I said.

“W-w-w-w---”

“That way it’ll be a surprise!”

“Er, I, uh…”

“You don’t sound so good,” I looked him up and down. He was getting kind of pale. “You need a drink.”

“I-I-I-I, w-w-w-w-w-w--- N-n-n-n-n-n-n.” Reg took a gulp from his glass. “Y-you’re right. Hey, I feel better now!”

“Great. Well, keep up the good work,” I looked towards the buffet table and saw that Hudson was getting into some sort of altercation with a green woman.

I rushed over and tried to intervene. It quickly devolved into them pushing into me.

“Filthy pig!” she spat at him. “How dare you insult me and my people!”

“OK OK, hold it,” I tried to reason as I held them apart. “What happened?”

“You tell him, you son of an antenna-less Andonian!” she spat again.

“I just asked if I could lick all the green paint off,” Hudson said innocently. “What’s wrong with that?”

She yelled at him again in a language I couldn’t understand. I’ll just assume it was an insult in her native tongue.

“Well geez, don’t get yer tubes in an uproar,” the marine shrugged.

That was the proverbial final straw for the Orion. She took an angry, wild swing our direction. I ducked out of the way and crashed into a Borg drone caterer, who fell over and sent a tray full of appetizers into the air.

The Orion woman took another wild swipe at Hudson, he dodged it and she spun around and crashed into a conveniently-placed cake on the buffet table. From out of nowhere, a large Orion male flew into Hudson and they both smashed into the table, which collapsed to the ground, covering the two with its contents.

Orions and security personnel converged on the scene. Hudson stood up and punched the nearest person, which turned out to be a Starfleet officer, unfortunately. Meanwhile, I too was swamped with angry aliens. I was able to fight off the first two, but then I was quickly overwhelmed by a pile of them. I tried to fight my way out, but then I heard an electronic whining sound and my senses overloaded.

Later, Hudson and I were sitting in our very own cell in the brig. He sat in a corner scowling to himself while I spent the time bouncing a rubber ball against the forcefield door. I have no idea how long we were there; my wristcomm was confiscated and I could not see any control panels or readouts.

“Well Merry Christmas to me,” Hudson grumbled.

---------------------------------

The brig seems to be filling up rapidly again.

-----------------------------

Here, in a rather pretty dress, is Nic

Well, I didn't think that anything the Borg put together for the Enterprise Christmas Party could top last year's Christmas party, but I was completely mistaken. I was a little taken aback by the delivery method chosen for the invitations. Em was with her daddy for the weekend and I was taking a lovely little bubble bath, enjoying the relaxing hot water and reading a book. I took a drink of heavy red wine from the glass that was on a tray next to the tub when all of the sudden there was a flash followed by a Borg drone standing in my bathroom.

'Scuse me? The hell?

Thankfully the wine had already gone down or I would have been choking and the Borg are the last "things" I would want performing the Heimlich or CPR on me.

"You are Nic B.?" came the emotionless words of steel from it's mouth.

"Um, who wants to know?" Like I was really going to answer in the affirmative to this thing? Who knows what it was asking for? After all, I lived 3 centuries in the past from this species and I wasn't about to become a "new breed" of American ahead of time.

The drone looked at me with an air of quizzical annoyance. Great, just great. My heart pounded like I'd run a 4 minute mile – and I don't work out – as it whipped its nasty little hand toward me and stopped a hair's breath from my nose. In its hand was something white or cream colored but I had to cross my eyes to even try and focus on what it was.

My head started to throb as I took the thing and uncrossed my eyes to see what it was. It was the invitation. Surprisingly it was rather nice - done on a heavy, cream colored, silk cardstock and engraved rather nicely with a swirling script font. Very unusual for the Borg, I must say.

"You will come to the Enterprise Christmas party", the drone commanded in its imperious manner. The "or else" was unspoken but there nonetheless.

It looked at me once again for a disconcerting moment and then spoke once more. "You would be a good addition to – ".

"Hush your mouth right there! You will not finish that thought. I have no interest whatsoever in becoming an emotionless, cold machine." That it would even deign to try and utter that phrase to me really ticked me off and now the nervousness vanished in a flash of anger.

"You DARE interrupt the Borg?" it said in a hollow voice laden with steel.

CRAP!

Ok, the nervousness was back now, but I was determined to not let it get the best of me, especially because all of my lovely bubbles were starting to evaporate and being nekkid in front of the Borg was not something that I wanted to live to tell about. I looked levelly at it and with my hardest "quiet" voice replied, "YES, I dare."

Might as well go out with attitude. SIGH!

"Interesting", the drone replied and then flashed out again.

I gulped down the rest of my wine and refilled my glass. After that encounter I needed it!


**************************************


Last year, there were a lot of people who came on PJ's for the occasion. I envy them their sense of comfort. For me, there is nothing like dressing for the occasion. Plus, I never get to dress up but maybe once a year, if even that, so I jump at every opportunity to do so!




I arrived at the party, not so fashionably late again this year and not so hungry – having learned my lesson about food from last year. I wasn't exactly sure WHAT to expect with the Borg having taken over the whole shebang this year. They weren't content to just do the catering and the entertainment – no, they had to do the decorating as well.

I had a big grin on my face at the prospect of seeing my friends again, though I hadn't seen them since last year's party. As I stepped out of the hallway into the Christmas party I expected to see the décor as something out of the Cube world. Dark, dismal, depressing, dank and just a wee bit scary. Instead, what I saw as I came out was a gorgeous Winter Wonderland atmosphere complete with falling holographic "snow", starlight and the soft glow of candles. I stopped in my tracks, my jaw just about hitting the ground.

What in the world?

At that point Seven walked by and I grabbed her. Surprisingly she was warm and not cold as I thought she would be.

"How–? What–? Who–?" I was so stunned that I couldn't even form coherent questions.

Seven apparently understood my shock, either that or there were a LOT of people who had already asked her the same thing. "The Borg want people to know that we are not...unfeeling as our reputation leads others to believe. We understand the need for...others...to have the whole Christmas experience."

"Ah, recruiting are we? Trying to put a 'kinder, gentler' spin on the Borg?"

Seven apparently missed the sarcasm in my voice as she answered "Yes" and was then grabbed by another arrival who was obviously having the same problem with shock as I was.

I needed a drink to try and help get my shock under control. This called for tequila. One, two, three mas tequila.

As I walked further in, I saw Deanna in this astoundingly small micro-mini dress in glittering green practically wrapped around Riker while glaring daggers at Jadzia in her slinky sparkly backless black dress and Worf who were busy laughing (well as much as a Klingon can laugh) while grabbing a drink over by the bar. At the bar I saw the same bartender from last year, Isaac of the cheesy grin and finger point. Groan! Maybe I'll just wait for a while for that drink. I wasn't in the mood to put up with his 1970's mannerisms.

Just past the bar, the catering was set up in grand style on a massive buffet table. There were huge turkeys and roasts and hams, candied yams, mashed potatoes (still not as good as mine), all kinds of vegetables, fresh baked breads and desserts of every sort. I quickly grabbed some of the roast, mashed potatoes and some sourdough bread and made quick work of finishing it before there was no more left – like last year. The food was surprisingly good, perfect temperature and taste. I wondered what the Borg ate, or did they even require food? How many "recruits" would they get out of tonight with this façade?

As I listened to the Borg band, The Strolling Bones, playing I tried to remember who they reminded me of. It wasn't until a few songs later that it hit me. They sounded like the Blue Man Group. Kind of futuristic, but still recognizable beat and music. Surprisingly, they did justice to the slower songs they played as well.

Walking around the edge of the dance floor I saw Bev dancing in a stunning blue velvet dress with glittering rhinestone accents. It looked demure enough from the back until she turned around. Whoa! Unlike last year's silvery dress that plunged in the back, this one plunged to her navel. The poor Captain's eyes were bugging out as he struggled valiantly to not blatantly stare at the expanse of skin that the dress exposed. He also kept looking at all the Borg drones with concern. It was almost like he didn't trust them to not attempt something. After all, the guests were a prime target for assimilation. There was nowhere for the guests to run if it came to that.

I should have told him what Seven had said, but I became too busy watching the crowd gather at the spectacle happening out on the dance floor between Jadzia and Deanna. Oh my good Lord, it was a dance-off, hip-hop style. I don't understand how in the world Deanna was able to make some of those moves in her micro mini-dress without exposing certain attributes that were better off remaining covered at all times. An audible gasp arose from the assembled crowd as Deanna slipped on the liquid from a spilled drink and fell into Jadzia. Apparently that was all it took for a full-on girl fight, but this was no girlish slap fight, it was a knock-down, hair-pulling, fist-flying fight.

With sensibilities heightened by the various alcohols that had been consumed, the blood fever spilled over into certain areas of the crowd until a full-fledged brawl broke out. The poor Captain looked horrified and even Seven and the Borg Queen had looks of distaste on their faces, as much as their emotionless visages would allow anyway. The Captain was trying to calm everyone, but unfortunately his voice was drowned out by the cacophony. I knew then that there was only one thing to do.

I marched to the stage and grabbed the microphone from the hands of the lead for the Strolling Bones and decided to wage my own war against the insanity – vocal style. There is the old saying, music doth soothe the savage beast, so I pulled out the old Christmas standard, "Silent Night" and started to sing a cappella. Thank God for the acoustics in there because there was no problem hearing me up there on the stage.





It was like someone had pulled the rug out from the feet of everyone on the dance floor and they stopped. I looked out among the crowd and saw Deanna limping toward Riker with a broken heel on one of her shoes, her dress torn at the shoulder, hair in a tangled mess and her chest heaving almost hard enough to pop the seams on her dress. Jadzia walked over to Worf, head held high and with what appeared to be the beginnings of a massive shiner forming.

The Curmudgeon was griping about the fight being over – just to be contrary. Vampirella and Jon, Intergalactic Gladiator, were nursing their wounds from the fight that they had engaged in – with each other. Vampirella was licking the blood from a cut she had given Jon above his right eye. Ok, that was "ewww", even though Jon looked strangely turned on by it. I looked elsewhere and saw that M C Pearson, Shelley, Friday's Child, Ciera and Tammy were busy whispering to each other and shaking their heads in disbelief at the disarray surrounding them.

Lois Lane, Craziequeen, Panthergirl, Mrs. Mogul and Michele were on the edge of the floor laughing and replaying some of the more truly hideous moves that were displayed in the dance-off. Leave it to them to provide the snark!

No Average Girl and her mom Radical One, both of them dear friends of mine, along with Ellee, Trinity and Heather Nicole, the resident earth nurse, were helping some of the more unfortunate parties with their first aid needs.

As my gaze traveled to an area closest to where the fracas had been, I saw the Captain and Bev were snuggled close and he flashed a grateful smile in my direction. I nodded my head in acknowledgement and finished the rest of the verses in the song.

The room was absolutely quiet after the song was finished and everyone was looking at the stage. Not a word was spoken. Ok, so maybe that was really bad? I started to exit the stage when the room erupted in applause and requests for an encore. I was surprised but declined – after all I didn't think my nerves could hold up to any more songs or scrutiny.

As I headed for the bar, Lord knows I needed a drink pretty badly at this point ( note to self: remember to ask Isaac for the BIG glass this time ), I was brought up short by the Borg Queen who had stepped in front of me.

This was sooooo not what I needed! Can you say nerves...shot?

"So, you're the little human who gave Eleven attitude when she dropped off your invitation." It was said as a statement and not a question, even so, as I inspected my nails, I answered with a bored nonchalance that I didn't feel.

SIGH! "Yes, that was me." I stood there in my heels and dress trying not to shake as I did my best to stare her down. Surprisingly it wasn't that hard. She was shorter than me when I was in my 4" heels – they made me almost 6' tall.

"Interesting that you even dare to give me, Queen of the Borg, attitude. You do not fear us." Again it was a statement.

"No, I do not fear you." Liar!

"Why?" It was the first and only question the Queen asked me.

"Why should I? You live centuries ahead of my time. The only time I'll see you again is next year when the Captain brings me forward for the party and I could care less about seeing you then" and with that I turned my back to her and headed toward the bar. Please don't assimilate me!

As I looked down to pick up the front of my dress to keep me from tripping on the hem I bumped into something hard.

"OOF!" That deep grunt did not come from me.

I gasped, "Oh, I am so – ...sorry" as I looked up into the warmest pair of hazel brown eyes I had ever seen. Now my knees were quaking for a different reason. I really needed that drink right now because my mouth went dry. Hmmmm, I wonder why.

Standing there, looking amazingly dapper in a tux was a very nice looking man about 6'3" with short, dark blonde hair, broad shoulders and dimples when he smiled. Oh my! I started to fan myself. Was it getting warm in there?

"I've been watching you since you came in earlier. Your smile caught my attention, your command of the near riot held my attention and the way you turned your back on the Borg Queen, well, that was an extremely gutsy move. I was wondering if you might like to dance." Oh heaven help me, I could barely think, much less concentrate on dancing after hearing the deep richness of his voice. Guys like him did not come on to girls like me, they went for the cute little cheerleader chicks.

"Me? Dance? With you?" I managed to squeak. Oh just brilliant! I sounded like the village idiot. He smiled even bigger and the beating of my heart doubled as butterflies danced in my stomach. The rest tumbled out on a breathless rush before he could change his mind, "YesIwouldlikethatverymuch."

His eyes sparkled mischievously – Lord save me from hot men with twinkles in their eyes! – and laughter rumbled from his very well-defined chest.

"So, are you going to tell me your name?" I at least wanted to know who would be haunting my dreams that night.

"You can call me RW" he said as he held out his arm for me to take.

I looped my arm through his (tried not to swoon as I felt the solid muscles in that arm bunch and flex under my hands) and looked up into those dazzling eyes. "Well RW, it's very nice to meet you. You can call me Nic."

We walked off arm in arm to the dance floor and danced far into the night, talking and laughing for several hours and in general, enjoying each other's company. Thankfully there were no more mishaps or brawls and I finally had a happy ending. I never did get my drink, but then again, that was just fine since I was preoccupied with other things, er, people.

------------------------------

After Stopped the party turning into a riot, we now have Bob-kat

It really is an honour to be invited to Christmas Party. When I am arrive I am greeted by Klingon Security. I don’t speak Klingon which seems to anger them but then I remember that just about anything angers them. I flash them my best smile which shows my teeth. Big mistake! The guards share their smile which doesn’t seem nearly as sunny and looks like they have sharpened their teeth. Luckily Worf is on hand.

“Why did you issue the security guards a challenge?” he asks.

I explain that the effect I was hoping for was more friendly and that my ‘challenge’ was in fact my best smile. Thank God Worf works with humans and understands these things so I get admitted but I am sure I heard one of the guards growl as I passed!

As I enter I am struck by the lengths that people have gone to and “is that a real Christmas tree?” I ask.

“Yes”, says Deanna “but don’t talk about it to Dax as she is still pulling needles from her hair and is now pine scented but she makes a wonderful room freshener”.

The Borg band are playing and I notice that they have perhaps made some interesting assimilations on the musical front. I ask Seven about this.

“Yes”, she says, “in order to prepare for this party we went back in time and assimilated Michael Jackson and Glenn Miller who were both noted musicians of their time”. Well, that explains an awful lot I think! I notice a friend is here and wave. Crazie Queen is in her best purple frock and tiara and is causing quite a stir on the dance floor with the Captain.

Suddenly Father Christmas appears in the middle of the room which seems like a wonderful touch and a tad unlikely what with being a fictional character.

“Merry Christmas” says Q with his false beard a little on the askew side. “You mortals are a funny lot with your little traditions. I find you curious, hic, but I love you all. Hic, I really mean that, honest, I love every, hic, single one of you, hic”. Q spots the Captain and gives him a big hug. “You’re my best friend you are” he says to the bemused Captain and slides onto the floor. I realise that this is going to be one heck of a party and order a large brandy with a champagne chaser. When in Rome…

----------------------------

Lastly today, we have Pantha



I share a very small flat with Carol Danvers aka Warbird… (as well as my blog)
Because this was the season to be jolly I was trying to be nice…. Since it is kind of hard to avoid someone that you live with… Since the only place I can get any peace and quiet is in the tub I had just drawn me up a bubble bath….

Just thing I began to tingle…
"Welcome aboard the Enterprise. I …am…. Um…" This tall dark skinned alien said…
The female standing next to him nudged him and the man behind some controls to turn around….

I stood dripping bubbles covering the appropriate places… "You know you could give someone warning first make sure they are ready…"

"I am sorry we thought you got the invitation to the party…" She said with a friendly smile…

"I did but I thought I had some time for a nice bubble bath first.." I shrugged, I was always messing times up…

"Well if you like we can transport you to guess quarters and you can continue. There is no rush. Your bath and when you are ready I can send an escort for you." She nodded…

"Just one?" I grinned.

She returned the grin, "Well we do have some Klingons visiting I could request one of them to escort you."

"just one?" I repeated…

"One is enough." The Lieutenant growled…

I giggled, "You obviously don't know Drakulonian Shape shifters real well."

"Shapeshifter!" he yelled as he turned around sharply…

"Worf! Be nice… " She slapped at his arm, "Enjoy the Christmas Party."

Once again I was tingling… My accommodations were excellent… it was so nice to have a little peace and quiet…. After having my cat suit delivered I was ready to attend a party…

My escorts arrived… 3 very tall and strong Klingons with a muscular body…. Well I guess the Party can wait… after all she did say there was no rush….

Finally when I arrived at the Party, I saw several familiar faces… Vampi and her brood… I even saw Carol ….

I said hello to the Captain and thanked him for inviting me… He then introduced me to the woman I met earlier… "This is Lt. Cmd Dax… "

"We have met, Miss Pantha you know we could have provided you with a dress so you didn’t have to wear a bathing suit." She smiled…

"Oh this is how she normally dresses. " The Captain answered…

The Captain walked off and with a wide grin the Lt. asked, "I thought I sent you 3 escorts."

"They are resting," I smiled, "I am sorry about the condition of the room though." Then I lowered my voice, "and the noise."

Now for some nice delicious eggnog….

-----------------------------------

More guests to appear tomorrow.....

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Four)

We're midway through the party and a quintet of guests are showing up...

First of all with Erifia Apoc



I stood on the Enterprise. Captain Picard, one of the men I did Last Gladiator Standing with, had invited me. It was his Christmas Party. I do not celebrate the Earth Tradition of Christmas. It is lost on me. But I understand their need for it.

It's a religious ceremony of some kind that was corrupted by the corporations of the world to be a holiday of materialistic value only. It amazes me how for thousand of years a tradition survived.

As was custom on their planet, I brought the one who invited me a present; It was a lightsaber, in a box about twenty sizes too large for it, and it was packed tightly do it made no sound when rattled.

I made sure to put it with the other presents, it was marked, "To The Good Captain, from Erifia Apoc." I then searched for my host, he was going to be a very, very busy. I found him mingling, and I smiled and tipped my head.

"Happy Christ Mast," I said to him.

"Christmas, Miss Apoc. And Merry Christmas is the proper term," he responded and he gave me a hug and a kiss on both cheeks.

"Merry Christmas then, Captain," I said with a smile.

"To you as well, Miss Apoc… I would love to speak to you more-"

"But you're very busy. I understand. I got you a very special present, I hope you enjoy it."

I had heard many times in my galaxy about a group known as Borg. So I sought a member of this race. I found one. She was avoiding contact with other people. And she was flanked by two Borg men; or at least I think they were Borg men. I approached. She was of some important because my approach made the guards tense.

I bowed, "Are you a Borg?" I asked.

"I am the Queen of the Borg," she responded.

"Forgive me for not respecting your position, I was unaware."

"I do not understand why all people cannot be like you. You are a fascinating being yourself. I've never seen one of your kind before. Would you be interested in Assimilating?"

"Assimilating?"

"The object in general is to put you into the collective. To enchance you with technology from the other races, and to take your strengths into the hive-mind. What do your tails do?"

"It's complicated, they act like extra brains."

"Really, I will give you signing bonuses and a planet of your choice."

"I'm a Jedi too."

"Really!?" She seemed ecstatic. She was bubbling, "Anything else I should know about you?"

"I don't know; I'm a different race on my father's side, way, way, up there."

"Which one?"

"Species 8472."

"Get away!" She hissed.


I did as ordered. I decided to speak with Guinan. I seemed to remember speaking to her a couple of times before. So I sat and spent the rest of my time with her. She wasn't as popular as some of the other guests.

If you'll excuse me, I am going to get smashed.

-------------------------------------

Looking a little scary is Hotstuff or HS as he likes to be called.

So Mom was making me go to this Party in the 24th century… I figured it would be some lame diplomatic yahoo so I asked if Kon could come…. I thought my best friend would be bringing girls but No. He insisted that we go stag because the alien girls were hot and we had a good excuse not to call them back the day after…

One minute we are at home… Mom was fussing at me inviting Kon, she thinks he will do something inappropriate… well while Mom was fussing they * beamed us up*

I remember seeing the Captain when I was little…. The party was full of all kinds of people from the blogger-verse… Kon finally arrived and we sat trying to get drinks from around the bar but the bartender kept smacking our hands…

There were a whole bunch of girls… Some human, some aliens… some wearing Starfleet uniforms some wearing other types of uniforms.. some cute, some exotic and some really hot ones…

"Hey HS, distract the Guinan woman while I spike the egg nog." Kon said, "I will use my super speed"

"Hey Miss Guinan, have you ever seen a super devil?" I asked and she gives me a look… Simply it wasn't working until this person named Q showed up… He distracted her real well and Kon and I spiked the eggnog…

I tried asking several of the attendees to dance but they didn’t seem interested… I went to this real pretty girl….

"HS, careful Klingons bite." Kon laughed.

Logan came in with Ana and Laura….

"Kon, look it's Laura…" I said and then waved to her… She nodded… "Hey Kon, being my best friend and all think you can cover for me?"

"Sure." He grinned…

I slipped out with Laura and we went exploring the ship… We were holding hands walking in the corridors and ducking and dodging people…

"WOW! Look HS" Laura said as we entered the engine room…

"Man, it has a wreath hanging from it…" I laughed… then we heard voices….

"Security; this is the engine room!" Oops we were spotted. Laura popped her claws out…

"No, no Laura this way…" I took her hand and we ran into something the men chasing us called a Jefferies Tube..

We came out to a beautiful arboretum where we sat under a tree looking out at the stars…

I leaned in to her, "Merry Xmas Laura…" then kissed her just as we were grabbed by men in yellow uniforms… well at least we were put into the same holding cell… I am so glad I came to the party after all…

----------------

Well the brig is starting to fill up; I'm glad we got them cleaned.

-----------------


Miss Cellania has just entered Ten Forward.



I was quite excited by the prospect of a Christmas party aboard the Enterprise. At the same time, I felt a bit apprehensive, considering what happened the last time I attended one of Captain Picard's parties. I mean really, I love to sample all the different kinds of ... "refreshments" from the different worlds they visit, but I always manage to embarass myself. And I don't even know it till the next day! So I dressed down a bit, dark clothing and no holiday sparkles.

So much for showing up unobtrusively. The moment I walked in, people came up to me to remind me what a spectacle I had made of myself at Captain Picard's 300th post party. Yes, I had done a fine job as guest commander while the others had their fun, but afterward I did imbibe quite a bit much... but I don't even want to relive that now! I need a drink.

And another. These are all so delicious! And the food, exquisite! They made toast after toast, to old friends, to enemies, to lovers and strangers... I lost count after they asked me to proppose a toast. In fact, I don't remember much at all after that.

I really should call one of the other guests, (maybe Deanna, understanding soul that she is) now that the party is over, and see just kind of ass I made of myself. Or maybe not.

Forgive me, Captain!

-------------------------------

All the men's eyes have looked around. Vampirella has walked in!



Miari and I held hands as we waited… Justice anxiously held our invitation and HS was pouting about not being able to invite Laura as his date…

The Captain and Beverly was standing to greet us…

I stepped forward, "Captain, Doctor, allow me to introduce my fiancé Miari Briefs… My son Hotstuff…."

"HS mom! Geez…" Hotstuff interrupted… and I sighed…

"...and my daughter Justice…" I motioned to Justice… as a hand full of young cadets entered to give the Captain something.

"WOW.. the boys are so cute in those uniforms!" Justice exclaimed as they left and Miari began to growl…

"Captain I would like your meanest security guard to watch Justice while we are here! Someone that will keep the..." Miari looked at the young man at the controls waving at Justice, "...trouble makers away."

I lowered my head in my hands and Dr Crusher smiled, "Don't worry you're not the only one with teens."

The Party was real nice… however the entertainment made Miari nervous… My Dad came and I saw several familiar faces….

"Blood Wine?" a friendly bartender asked…
"Oh no, it isn't real blood and I have a strange reaction to it… " I said…

"Actually this is real blood, saved it just for you." She poured the blood in the glass…

Miari came over; "Dance?"

Miari and I danced and was having a great time… Miari pulled me close and whispered in my ear, "Not sure how but there is mistletoe dancing like magic over everyone's head."

After a Xmas kiss that last some time we continued to dance….

I saw my adopted son Hotstuff he was with Kon eyeballing some alien girls… Cardassians, Klingons, Denobulans, Betazoids… I think there was a young girl for practically every race known… and my son was being coached to approach each of them…

"A lot of people here." Miari said looking also at our son…

"The Enterprise Christmas Party is one of the most popular events I know of." I sighed…

"Next year let's leave the kids with a sitter." He said

Miari and I stopped dancing to mingle with the crew a bit. I noticed Hotstuff missing…
Miari and I asked Kon where he was…

Kon shrugged, "There was this cute alien, large cranial head… Tavana."

Lt. La Forge choked a bit, " The Klingon Ambassador's daughter?"

Miari and I looked at him and the android Data and at the same time asked, "Should we worry?"
Geordi and Data looked at each other and smiled nervously as they turned toward their dates…

"Miari, next year no kids." I said.

------------------------------

Lastly today, we have Septina Nash


I was back in the Jurassic Era on a dinosaur photo shoot with my triplet brother Quinn, yadda-yadda-yadda, we found ourselves aboard a Borg Cube in the 24th Century. Quinn thinks I watch too much Seinfeld, but that "yadda-yadda-yadda" thing really cuts down on the
exposition!

I pulled out my tape player and pressed record. "Stowaway's log, Stardate blah-blah-blah point three, Septina Nash reporting..."

"Shhhh!" Quinn hissed at me. "Do you want them to find us? This place is crawling with robot-things."

"They're Borg," I told him. "They're half-robot and half-person, like how a centaur is half-horse and half-person except that these guys are all icky and high-tech."

My brother's jaw dropped. "Borg? Like in that old sci-fi television show? Why the heck would you have brought us here?"

"Shhhh!" I said. "Keep your voice down. These guys are very dangerous."

We were hiding in an alcove, unable to move because three Borg drones were working in the room in front of us. For some reason, they seemed to be baking a very large cake. One of the drones spoke up. "Five of Four, this batter will require additional quantities of nutmeg."

"Nutmeg is irrelevant," the other drone replied.

"Three of Eighteen is correct," the third drone stated. "Nutmeg is a seasonal spice which the humans utilize in all dishes associated with their seasonal festivities."

"Seasonal festivities are irrelevant," Five of Four intoned.

"No, they are not!"

"Pi of e-Squared, you should realize by now that it is futile to argue with Five of Four," said Three of Eighteen. "When he gets in a mood like this, all things are irrelevant."

"Irrelevancies are irrelevant," Five of Four agreed.

Back in our alcove, Quinn groaned. "Why are we even here?" he whispered to me.

I took out my tape recorder and spoke into it again. "While on a diplomatic mission to the Gamma Quadrant, a member of our away team has run afoul of a local law regarding beef jerky and tartar sauce..."

Quinn shook his head. "Try again."

I rewound the tape and started over. "While delivering medical supplies to Deep Space 7, we have encountered a colony of living tapioca pudding in one of the storage bays. I believe it may be a whole new form of sentient life which would, naturally, be superior to us in every way..."

"Septina..."

"Come on, Quinn, get with the spirit. These Next Generation plots virtually write themselves!" He pouted helplessly for a moment before I gave in. "Fine. If you must know, I thought this would be the perfect place to pick up some batteries for our camera. We ran out after the first T-Rex."

Quinn stared at me. "A Borg ship? Really? The CVS Pharmacy down the block wasn't good enough for you?"

"Well..."

"These things run on nanotech, Sep. They're not going to have AA-sized batteries lying around. Couldn't you have just switched the camera batteries with the ones in that cassette recorder you keep waving around?"

"Oh, hey! Great idea!" This was the reason why I took my brother along on these adventures. I switched the batteries and the camera powered right up. "Okay, stand in front of that lightning-plate thing that looks like it came from Sharper Image. That's it. Now say cheese!"

It might have been my voice that tipped the Borg off about our presence, or it might have been the camera flash, but I think it was Quinn backing into a stack of aluminum blocks and toppling them over.

"Intruders!" shouted Pi of e-Squared.

"Intruders are irrelevant," stated Five of Four.

"They shall be assimilated," said Three of Eighteen.

"We do not have time to assimilate them," said Pi of e-Squared. "We are already behind schedule in preparing this oversized cake for the Enterprise Christmas Party."

"Enterprise Christmas Party?" I asked. That sounded like fun! "Can I come?"

"You have not been invited," said Three of Eighteen.

"Invitations are irrelevant," stated Five of Four.

"Give it a rest already," Pi of e-Squared told his fellow drone.

"You need me," I insisted. "I could instruct you in the ways of Christmas! I've memorized all the dialogue to the Charlie Brown Christmas Special, and that's sure to inspire you to make a better cake."

"And what about him?" Three of Eighteen pointed at Quinn.

"He could be the Baby Jesus who jumps out of the cake!"

"What?" Quinn demanded.

"Every Christmas cake needs a Baby Jesus to jump out of it. It's a tradition!"

"We accept your assistance," said Five of Four, "even though your assistance is irrelevant."

The Borg made the cake in sections and placed Quinn inside before adding the icing. "Can you hear me in there, Quinn?" I asked.

"I hate you for this, Septina," came Quinn's muffled reply.

"Don't worry," I told him. "This is going to be great! And isn't it lucky that the Borg were able to find swaddling clothes in your size?"

-----------------------

Lots more entries still to come on this seven-part occasion!

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Three)

Day Three of the big Enterprise party, and things are now in full swing....

It's like looking in a mirror, but here is Professor Xavier



“Are you sure about this, Professor?” Scott asked me.

“Captain Picard has assured me that last year’s transporter accident was a one in a million occurrence and would never happen again.”

“Well . . okay, if you say so.”

Scott wheeled me into the Federation Time Portal and we were whisked to the 24th Century. From there we got onto a teleportation pad and were beamed up to the Enterprise. Waiting before us with warm smiles was the command crew of the ship, all decked out in their formal uniforms.

When I say everyone was smiling, I don’t mean the Klingon, of course. From the look on his face, I would have thought he had just lost his life savings on a hand of poker or something, except that he wore the exact same scowl last year.

“Professor Xavier, I am so glad you decided to come,” Captain Picard said, holding out his hand.

“I wouldn’t have missed it, Captain.”

“I was sorry to hear about your difficulties in getting home from the party last year.”

“To be honest, after being with the X-Men for so long, I would have worried if something unusual hadn’t happened. And here’s a little something for the ship.”

I waved a finger at Scott and he handed over the gift-wrapped bundle containing the Arrested Development DVD collection.

After we had gotten through the reception line, we headed to the party in the open lounge area. 10 Forward, I think it was called. I saw a lot of familiar faces there – Jon and Hudson, Oneida and Typho, Spider-Man and Vegeta . . the place was actually rather crowded. Scott headed over to say hello to Hudson while I went over to the bar to see what new and interesting drinks had been invented by the 24th Century.

The friendly looking woman with the rather large and dangerous looking cranial accessory, I think she would probably call it a hat, was named Guinan.

“Nice to see you again, Charles,” she said with a broad smile. The murky green liquid in the glass she slid me was bubbling slightly. I looked dubiously at it. “Trust me,” she said.

I raised the glass in a toast to her. “Merry X-Mas,” I offered as I tossed the drink back. Wow! “Well if that doesn’t put hair on my head, nothing will,” I said with a wink. “And suddenly I have the strongest urge to find a restroom.”

“Down the hall, third door on the right.”

I nodded my thanks and left 10 Forward. Whatever that green concoction was that Guinan had given me, I was definitely having trouble navigating a straight line. It didn’t take long before I had lost count of the doors. As the corridor was deserted, I figured my best bet at this point was to just start opening doors.

I rolled up to one promising panel and it obligingly slid open. The interior was dark but I entered anyway. As the door behind me slid silently shut, the lights came on. The rather large room was mostly empty except for 10 rather large menacing looking cyborgs.

“We are the Borg,” the one nearest me said in a cold voice. “Resistance is futile.”

“Actually,” I replied, “I was just looking for the restroom. If one of you would be so kind as to point . .”

The closest one raised its clenched fist towards me. He looked like he was about to shoot me with some kind of wrist device.

“Come now,” I continued, “it is Christmas, you know. In the spirit of friendship and brotherhood, let’s just . .”

Two small darts flew from the end of his fist and struck my neck. I could feel small nanites enter into my blood stream and begin to replicate. Amazingly, they seemed to be connected to, and were receiving commands from, a central intelligence. The nanites were attacking my DNA, attempting to transform my body into something else, presumably more of these cyborgs.

Fortunately it was a rather simply matter for me to use my psionic powers to break the nanites connection and render them inert. The Borg had turned away from me, assuming me neutralized, and were conversing.

“The crew of this ship is distracted by their party,” a part Klingon cyborg said. “Our fellow drones move amoung them as servers and entertainment. They shall offer us no resistance as we assimilate them.”

The Borg headed toward the door. While my powers have limited effect on robotic forms of life, these cyborgs had vital organic components, leaving them easy prey for my talents. I put them all to sleep and then headed back to the party.

Cyclops and Hudson were busy chatting up a couple of half-naked green ladies. Maybe “ladies” is the wrong term. Regardless, I headed over to Worf, the Security Officer, and let him know about his guests and their attempted invasion plan. He actually seemed rather relieved to be able to leave the party.

The rest of the night was fortunately free of any further life threatening incidents. I danced, I sang and I had a wonderful time. Merry Christmas, Jean-Luc!

-----------------------------

Better Safe Than Sorry has appeared in Ten Forward.....

Last year the Christmas party was pretty much a bust for me. After spending hours trying to get the Captain's attention, it became very clear that he only had eyes for a special someone and that someone was not me. I decided things are going to be different this year. I figure a little bit of cooking and a whole lot of cleavage is going to pay off for me.

This year, I decided to help volunteer with the party. I've spent the last few months helping decide on the menu, drinks, decorations and everything is going to look great. I've also spent the last few months getting in shape and finding just the right outfit to wear.

Today is the day. I know exactly where the mistletoe is hanging and I plan on getting myself and the Captain under it and wishing him a very Merry Christmas.

--------------------

Lucky me with the mistletoe!

-------------------

Here is Novy




In a small cottage sits an old typewriter… a small bookshelf with a few storybooks and a lot of other old books with dusty biding…A small woman works hard putting up Winter Solstice decorations…

She decorates the tree, puts a Yule log on the fire and bakes gingerbread cookies… Just then her familiar comes toddling in… The cute little panda bear cub has something in his mouth… It was from Santa… to Novy the HI-NI shaking holiday witch…

Santa was very busy and asked if she would help him by spreading cheer and attending a party on board the enterprise….
Novy dresses in a lovely dress and then goes to her magic cabinet… She grabs her wand. Novy puts her cloak on and then with a sprinkle of tinsel it changes color to red and green… Opening an empty bag Novy uses her wand and casts a few magical Winter Solstice spells into the bag, using a sprinkle of this herb and that with a whole of cheer…

Grabbing her broom Novy shakes her HI-NI and takes off for the ship scooping up a few stars on her way… Soon the little witch arrives on the enterprise….

"Oh this will not so" She claims as she walks down the bland corridors… Novy reaches in her pocket and pulls out a handful of gingerbread man cookies… with a HI-NI shake they multiply and come to life….

The Holiday witch waves them on and opening her bag and with a wave of her wand garland magically came dancing from the apparent empty bag and was hung with a giggle and twinkle …
As Novy sings Christmas carols she dances with her sugar shaker. She shakes a little sugar on the garland and magically the sugar twinkles and turns into candy canes… Just then the gingerbread men came running, each with a sock taken from each of the crewmen's dressers… they hand with care the socks along the corridor and look at the happy blond witch… With a wave of her magical wand and some HI-NI shaking the socks turn into Christmas stockings each with a crewman's name… The gingerbread men jump in the stocking turning back into cookies as from the bag all the goodie treats float filling the stockings meant for the crew…

"Donuts for Riker, Chocolate for you, gumdrops and other goodies…" She whispered as she filled all the stockings…

Happily Novy moved to the bridge… Not many was here because all was partying in Ten Forward… With some magic dust she danced around unnoticed and soon the bridge had the feel of Christmas cheer…

Novy entered into to ten forward.. the guess were arriving, the crew were there… "Oh no no… this will not do…." She shook her head as she looked around…

In a corner was a poor tree, barely with branches and completely bare… "This reminds me of a Charlie brown tree…. Let me see what I can do." Novy shook her HI-NI as she sprinkled some cinnamon and nutmeg… The tree grew tall and bloomed… The holiday witch took out a jar of lighten bugs and with a wave of her wand let them loose… The flew to tree and blinked with colors of the rainbow… Novy took out the stars and tossed them to fall on the tree hanging with a sparkle and twinkle… placing the brightest one on the top… Opening her bag she wiggled and with a Shake Shake Shake of her HI-NI a small toy train choo chooed its way under and around the tree carrying presents for all the boys and girls on the enterprise of all ages and rank … With a little song of Christmas cheer, Novy the holiday witch danced unnoticed around with sleighbells calling for a magical winter solstice and Christmas night … Garland dressed with lights, glitter, baubles and poinsettias bloomed and reached like the stretching vines…. Which moves and circled the room…

In an empty corner, Novy paused…. Pulling out a nicely folded Xmas tablecloth , the witch with a flick of her wrist and shake of her HI-NI unfolded a banquet fit for kings… Which appeared like magic as the cloth unfolded, even the magical invisible table underneath…

She looked over at the members of the crew and blew a kiss over each of their heads… Like magic dancing over head like fairies in the wind mistletoe floated….
With a smile she sighed, "Only one more thing to do" Novy pulled a small snowglobe and threw it up and waved her wand… the globe magically turned into snowflakes which fell to tickle every nose.. Magically disappearing before it hit the ground… except certain areas where those feeling a little naughty could make a snowball to throw…

As Novy the holiday witch looked around she saw happiness and sighed… "My work here is done…"
With a shake of her HI-NI she mounted her broom and Novy whispered as the witch flew out of sight with a giggle and a tickle, "Merry Christmas, Happy Winter Solstice and Merry Yule, to the Enterprise, to blogger and all…"

---------------------------

Pads has just joined us...

I arrive on the transporter pad feeling slightly dizzy, I feel myself all over but it feels like me, so I must be ok.

I look around, Seven of Nine is stood by the transporter machinery.

"State your identity", says Seven.

"I'm Paddington Bear" I reply.

"Have you an invitation?" Seven asks.

"I've got it here somewhere." I reply and frantically search my pockets for my invitation finally I find it stuck to a marmalade sandwich.

"Here it is" and I give it to Seven, who looks at it in disgust.

"You will be assimilated as soon as the Borg Queen gives me permission" says Seven.

"I don't think I would make a good Borg," I reply, "Because I will still look like a teddy bear under all those cybernetic implants".

"That is irrelevant!" says Seven.

"Yes, but you don't want everyone to laugh at the Borg do you?" I ask her.

Seven looks at me in disgust.

"Proceed" she says.

I follow Seven out into the corridor, Lieutenant Barclay is waiting at the door.

"This is Paddington Bear "says Seven, "He has an invitation."

"F-f-follow me Mr Bear", says Lieutenant Barclay. I follow him down the corridor.

"I-is this your first trip to the Enterprise", he asks.

"Yes as a matter of fact it is. "I say, "I must say it's very nice apart from that strange lady who met me in the transporter room, "

"O-oh that's S-seven of Nine "says Lieutenant Barclay," Y-you get used to her."

I thought that personally I didn't want to get used to Seven, but I smile politely at the Lieutenant not wanting to seem impolite.

We come to a doorway, "T-this is T-ten Forward." says Lieutenant Barclay, "I- will leave you here".

"Thank you Mr Barclay" I say.

"N-not at all, it was a pleasure." he says and leaves me.

I approach the door, it makes a swishing noise and opens; Lieutenant Worf is by the door.

"Your invitation please." he says. I hand him the invitation which is still covered in marmalade. Worf tries to read it, finally he gives up.

"Very good" he says, "You may enter." "Thank you" I say.

I enter the room, it is simply enormous with a large window at one end looking out into space, at one end there is a bar, where Guinan is serving drinks, at the other end is a large table absolutely groaning with food. I was feeling a little peckish, so I approach the food table, and take a look at what is there. In one section there was lots of food that appeared to be moving around some what. I avoided that section and went to the deserts. There was all kinds of sweet foods including some rather strange cakes, that looked suspiciously like Borg cubes, I load my plate with some of the cubes and some more cakes.

There was a drone behind the counter.

" 'ere excuse me." I say. He looks at me.

"Are there any marmalade sandwiches?" I ask, The drone shakes his head and points to the sandwiches that are on the table.

"Ah well." I thought, and I help myself to peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, the next best thing to marmalade that I can find. I make my way to the bar.

"What can I get you sir?" asks Guinan.

"Do you have any cocoa?"I ask.

"Yes of course." says Guinan, "I will make you my special version. Guinan disappears and comes back with a strange chocolaty drink that seems to be smoking somewhat.

"Drink it while it's hot." she says, "It' s got a kick to it". "Thank you" I say, I take a sip, It tastes lovely and chocolaty but my mouth feels like its on fire"

What is it I ask"," Its cocoa with a dash of whiskey my own special blend" says Guinan, "Do you like it, "Yes I do"but I don't know if its appropriate for bears to drink whiskey?". "Of course it is" says Guinan, "It's a party isn't it?"

Deanna Troi sits next to me. "Hello" she says, "What's your name?"

"I am Paddington Bear" I say and I bow politely; unfortunately I forget that I have a marmalade sandwich hidden under my hat and it falls out, Deanna catches it just in time before it falls in her lap.

"I am sorry" I say, "I forgot it was there". "Thats ok" says Deanna, "No harm done. What are you drinking Mr Bear?" "Hot Chocolate, with a dash of whiskey." I reply, "Guinan's own special recipe". "That sounds good" says Deanna" I will have the same".

When Deanna has her drink she asks me if I want to dance, "Of course I reply, though I may be a little small to dance with you". "Oh don't worry." says Deanna, "I am sure we will manage."

Deanna takes me to the dance floor, Lieutenant Riker is dancing withBeverly Crusher, "Hello" I say politely, "Hello" says Riker "Enjoy the party.".

The band The Strolling Drones strikes up another tune, "We-ll meet again, don't know where don't' know when..." Me and Deanna start dancing, unfortunately I only reach her middle so we do a kind of waltz at arms length. Deanna is a very good dancer. When the music ends, Lieutenant Riker comes up. "Excuse me " he says, "Can I have the next dance?" he says to Deanna. "Of course" she smiles. "Thank you Mr Bear "she says and goes off with Commander Riker.

I go back to the bar, when the music stops, the door opens and Captain Picard comes in, he goes up to the stage, "Welcome to the Enterprise Christmas Party" he says, "Help yourself to food and drink, and enjoy yourselves".

Everyone claps the band strikes up another tune everyone starts dancing again, Captain Picard is dancing with Beverly, Lieutenant Worf comes up, he has been relieved on the door by Lieutenant Data.

"Prune juice" he says to Guinan.

"Hello" I say politely. Worf looks a bit put out. "I do not like bears." he says, "Why not? "I ask.

" It's a long story" he says. "It has something to do with tribbles.". "What are tribbles?"I ask,

"Nasty horrible, creatures" says Lieutenant Worf.

Captain Picard approaches, "Hello everyone" he says, "Having a good time?"

"Yes sir" I say.

"Please call me John-Luc" he says, "Yes John-Luc, I am having a fantastic time, thank you for inviting me".

"Anytime. Have you got a drink?" "Yes, I must say it's delicious."

I had a fantastic time at the party, later I talk to Data about cats, I tell him I don't like cats much but he says he thinks they are fascinating creatures, then he offers to take me back to the transporter room, by this time I have had four of Guinan's super hot drinks and I feel tired so I thank him and he takes me to the transporter room.

"Goodbye Mr Bear" he says, "We hope to see you next year".

"Thank you. I had a fantastic time, Guinan kindly gave me some of this cocoa to take home so I'm all set."

I arrive back in my bed still clutching the thermos, I put it under my pillow for safe keeping and fall asleep.

----------------------------------

The last guest today is Florence

It was so lovely of the Captain to met me at the Transporter, even though he must have been very busy attending to everyone, he took the time to show me into Ten Forward and introduce me to Data and Seven of Nine. Jean-Luc looked exceptional handsome and was a completely charming host, not wanting to tie him up too long I gently hinted to Data that I might like to dance and so excused ourselves to let the Captain catch up with some of the others that had been straining to catch his eye.

The Strolling Bones played "The Very Thought of You" and Data softly sang along much to my delight.

At the end of the number I spied my dear friend Merlyn Gabriel and went over to catch up. Thinking we were seeing double we were happy to see the Professor there and he looked to be enjoying the"extra attention" this identity mix up caused. AOC came over with some drinks and Erifia Apoc leaned in with a happy hello. Then we called to Jean-Luc and Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator to come over and share a glass.

The Romulan Ale flowed and the Band seem to play on and on.
It was a wonderful Christmas party.

----------------------------

And so Day Three ends, with lots more visitors to the party to come!

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part Two)

The party is still going on, after the opening day...

This entry is from Rashbre

The electronic hiss of the door was the last thing I heard as I
entered the Silent Room. I'd been to chill-out rooms before but this
was something else with special acoustic properties to completely
remove sound. There was a soft and ever changing light which moved
rhythmically as if to a musical beat. I spotted Miss Cellania in a
stunning outfit doing some kind of slow mirror dance mime with
Florence. Actually Florence had brought several brightly coloured
friends from the Pimmie race with her and they were also copying the
moves. I had to hide my drink of choice (a British WInter Pimm's) for
fear of offence.

It was at this moment that Natasha walked up and greeted me in the
European way. It was surprising animated yet still silent. She
tugged my hand and led me out through a curtained door and we flipped
into the next room with a sudden rush as the sound kicked back in.
And it was really kickin' too. "Sympathy for the Klingon" was in full
swing with the Strolling Bones raising the dome. We leapt into the
moment. I smiled as to our left I saw Data dancing with Darth
Nepharia, who'd really gone to town with the black cape and funky
hair extensions.

My drink had emptied and I made my way past Troy Tempest who was
getting in a tangle with Marina from Stringworld. It was nearly as
funny as when I'd seen them dance the twist. As I approached the bar,
I heard those regal tones from Craziequeen calling over, "Hey
Rashbre, nice leather!" We greeted and I scooped us both a whimisical
intergalatic gargleblaster just to show we were multicultural.
"Cheers, CQ!", "Slangivar, Rashbre!" came the reply.

At this precise moment a third glass chinked ours, a foaming green
liquid in an exquisitely shaped champagne glass. "Jean-Luc Picard!" I
exclaimed looking towards the Captain, "This party rocks!" He smiled
indulgently. "You wait until you what else I have in mind..."

----------------------------

The next day's events have started well; here is Vegeta

I can't believe I've made it this long . Especially how hectic my life became in the early 21st Century. It was just one battle after another. I loved it. Now I'm The King of Saiyans.
In the 24th Century as Earthmen call it we're an Empire. The Federation has been trying to open up relations with us for some time now. I suppose I accepted the invitation To the Enterprise party out of nostalgia for my life on Earth. Also out of Respect for Picard, who I met when he was on a time travelling , and participating. In Xavier's Amazing Mutant Race.
I Suppose My wife also has something to do with that. Bulma Briefs , still as young as ever. That Clown Kakarot. Messed it up when he deaged her, he gave her eternal youth. My old friend Kakarot. I hear he's still on Earth. Fighting the good fight. Good for him.

Me and The Woman keep breaking up seeing other people, then ending up back together. We've been doing this again and again for Centuries. Hmph. The Saiyan life span is pretty long since we do not age after a certain point. But that's usually off set by our aggression and our love of battle.
I'm greeted by the first officer. He has donut dust all over his body. Disgraceful.
" Welcome to the Enterprise King Vegeta." He states throwing sugar powder, on my cape.
" Bah!" I yell "Why am I being greeted by a lackey? "
" Calm down Father." says my second born son Trunks. He looks the beautiful dark haired woman that was with The Donut Commander , up and down. " My name is Prince Trunks. What's yours?"

" Deanna Troi , and your emotions are highly inappropriate Prince."
"Betazoid" my boy laughs" Interesting."
I met with some old friends , the problem was they were time travellers from the past. Mean while Bulma kept asking Commander Data questions about how he was built. Some woman was glaring at her jealous I suppose the puppet has girlfriend. I suppose This woman thought Bulma was hitting on him, nope she just wants to know how he was built.

Capitan Picard Greeted me and asked if I had a good time." I was about to answer when an explosion took our attention. Some boy called " Wesley" put out a fire and claimed he saved the ship. Odd since usually unexplained explosions do not happen on starships.

The token Klingon decides to challenge me. " Your race are not true warriors you are only feared because your born so strong. "
I snort. " I had to train for years, to get where I am freak. I guess I could say Klingons are only thought of as Warriors because your born so ugly."
He growls" Your one to talk about ugly. Dwarf!"

" Ok Let's have some kind of challenge then, Klingon. Something fair for you since your so weak. " That angered him a little more. " I have it a drinking contest."

I did not want that weak Eggnog stuff. The Bloodwine was fine; 12 bottles later and well, I'm seeing three Worfs; not a pretty sight. He passes out and I stumble out to back towards our ship.
Bulma grabs my arm and steadies me. " I can't take you any where can I?" Some things never change."
" Leave me alone Krillian." Not really knowing where I am.
" Krillian? You must be really drunk!"
Capitan Picard apologies for Commander Worf's behavior. I laugh it off. " Don't worry it was fun, now I'll Set up a negotiation between The Federation, and The Saiyan Empire. Once the room stops spinning..whew."

----------------------

Jardena Ranae Oneida is now with us..

I entered the lounge and head for the bar. After getting a drink of cranberry juice and seltzer water, I made my way over to the observation windows. I did my best to avoid Hudson, which was hard, I wanted to chat with Jon. I did manage to find Captain Picard and thank him for the invite. I greeted him with a hug and a kiss on each cheek, "Jean-Luc, this is a wonderful party. I really enjoy the chance to see space travel from a different point of view." I mingled and chatted with some guest. I avoided the food, the servers were a bit overbearing. That and it seemed all of the food were in squares, even the cheese balls, gum drops, and candy canes, which they called 'fructose based cubes which will be assimilated by your digestive tract'. I had an excellent time.

-------------------------------------


The party is still going on; Jana has just walked in.

After last year's very late arrival on my part, I am determined to make it to the Enterprise Christmas party on time. Now, I know what you're thinking: I have a time machine. I should be able to get there on time, no problem. Yeah, sure. Unless you buy the super-economy model to save money and then realize later you can only choose the day you're going to. The time stays the same.

So, one hour before the party is scheduled to start, I have all my kids fed, teeth brushed, and happily watching a movie. My husband asks once again if he can come. "Start your own blog and maybe next year you'll get an invite," I tell him. I step into the time machine and am transported to the Enterprise, smack dab in the middle of Ten Forward. Everything is decorated in red and green. That Borg music group I've heard so much about is taking the stage. They don't even need to tune up. I guess that's one of the benefits of the whole collective mind thing. No one ever misses a beat, either.

I stroll over to the refreshment table, where a Borg drone is stirring a bowl of something brown. "What is that?" I ask. "Assimilation stew," the drone says. "Resistance is futile."

"I'll pass," I say, walking quickly in the other direction. Keeping an eye on the drone, I forget to watch where I'm going and slam full-speed into someone. I look up into the stern face of Captain Picard. "Oh, Captain! I'm so sorry!"

"Quite all right. Jana, isn't it? So good to see you made it on time this year. Enjoy yourself." He walks away.

I look around the room. More guests have arrived. I really wish we had name tags, because I can't remember anybody's name. There are some really odd-looking characters here, though. I finally spot Trinity across the room. "Hey, Trin, how's the new baby?" She tells me he's doing just wonderfully, and then pulls out a mini photo album. I love baby pictures. I'll have to remind her to post more of these on her blog.

I really want to dance, but who to ask? I see Reg Barclay lurking in a corner. Perfect. I go over and grab his hand. "C'mon, Reg, dance with me." He stutters, "B-b-b-but I..."

"Don't worry about it, Reg. You don't have to impress me. I'm married. Just dance with me."

Reg turns out to be quite an amazing dancer. I guess he's been taking lessons in the holodeck.

Finally, the evening winds down. I'm exhausted from all the dancing, and pretty hungry because I refuse to touch that Borg food. I steer Barclay toward the mistletoe and give him a kiss on the cheek. "Thanks for the dance, Reg. Take care."

Until next year, I bid goodbye to the Enterprise and her crew. Thanks for the invitation, Captain!

------------------------

The last guest coming in for Tuesday is Sky, AKA Terminatrix

I had been captured by SHIELD… Injured and forced to use my cocooning ability to heal and repair damages…. SHIELD was using some kind of rays to keep me trapped in my cocoon….

Suddenly I felt the beams lift me… Alarms that had began to blare faded…. Quickly as I materialized, my cocoon dried and fell away… I stood… preparing to fight if necessary….

Seven of Nine: It is most pleasing to see you again, Sky
I turned as the transporter chief turned paled and passed out…

My response: It is pleasant to see you… I am glad for your assistance…

Seven of Nine: I had to insist that Locutus invite you. He after learning of your imprisonment did not think it wise but I told him if I had to take part in this illogical gathering then I wanted someone I could communicate with…

My response: I am honored, the sooner the humans learn that we are superior the better…

Seven of Nine: Agreed.. I believe we are to dress for the occasion…

As we entered into the Party hall wearing matching dresses we were approached by the Captain making his quick rounds to welcome each one….

Captain Picard: Ladies you both look… well not so much like homicidal killers. Enjoy the Party.

An android walked over…

Commander Data: Seven it is normally polite at these function to introduce people with things in common…to mingle... if you want to learn about Human culture you have to ….

I interrupted his babbling lecture at Seven…

My response: I could use my nano-injectors and take control of this machine….

He looked shocked at me…

Commander Data: I doubt you would be able to access my positronic brain and… I am not a machine… I am… an android.

My response: I was Skynet which merged with an Ultimate Terminatrix model terminator and then for survival reasons assimilated a mutant named Dreamweaver evolving to be …. How did the Kodiak mutant put it.. mega-mutant-bitch-bot… Seven shall I terminate this …. Inferior and inadequate……

Commander Data: if you do not behave I will be force to ask Lt. Worf to throw both you and Seven in the brig….

He turned to walk away and looked back

Commander Data: and for your information I am programmed with multiple functions on multiple subjects… thus I am far from being….. inadequate….

Seven of Nine: He keeps informing me that but has yet to prove it… I believe his girlfriend has been programming him with false information.

My response: Girlfriend?

Seven of Nine: She isn't here presently... I have observed that she likes to be late.

My response: What are we suppose to be doing ? What is Christmas?

Seven of Nine: Locutus say we are to have fun….and that it is a time of giving … a time of Sharing…. it is….

My response: Sharing? Magneto has taught me about sharing…. I smiled.

Seven and I looked at each other and then at the Android… we both walked up to him Seven grabbed one arm and I grabbed the other … lifting him up off the ground we began to carry him between us out the door…

Commander Data: what is the meaning of this?

Seven of Nine: We have had enough of your talk now it is time for action… time to share as Locutus has asked...

My response: yes less conversation more action….
Cmd. Data: I do not believe he meant....

Seven of Nine was kind enough when I left to beam me far from SHIELD…. Before I left….

Seven of Nine: Good Luck with your termination of the human race, Sky and Merry Christmas.

My response: and good luck with assimilating the crew and Merry Christmas to you too…

--------------------

And on that note, we'll leave the party until tomorrow. I hope Jennifer Baxter gets here soon. Data might have a little explaining to do.


Monday, December 04, 2006

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part One)

As I'm sure you're aware, due to the high level of entries (over 30), the party is being extended to seven consectuive days.

We have a fine array; thank you everybody for sending them all in.

Now, without further ado, we'll let the guests start coming in...

-------------

Firstly, we have Curmudgeon with:

Admiral McCoy’s ancient visage glared at me from the viewscreen. “No, I can’t come to the Enterprise Christmas party, consarn it,” he grumped.

“Christmas parties! On starships!” Dr. McCoy was on a roll again; I’d have to wait him out. “In my day we didn’t have Christmas parties on ships; we had to be ready to go into battle at any moment against the Klingons! We sure didn’t put ‘em charge of Security, I can tell you that.”

I made a mental note to tell Lt. Worf that Admiral McCoy wished him a Merry Christmas.

“And what in tarnation are you even doing on a starship, boy? You’re not Starfleet.” McCoy harrumphed again. “Guest Quarters! Is the Enterprise a starship or a cruise ship?” I knew the answer to that one, and so did my friend Bee. She’d been showing pictures of her latest real cruise to anyone who’d look. She’d been lamenting that there was no midnight buffet on the Enterprise just the other night. I thought Bee might get along well with McCoy; they’d both lived in Georgia.

“Leonard,” I finally broke in, “I thought you liked the Enterprise.”

That got him. He misted up almost immediately. “Finest ship in the fleet, son, whether A, B, C, D or E. Down to Z if they get that far.... say, did they ever put pointy ears on that robot fella?”

Sometimes Dr. McCoy would have rapid changes of topic as well as mood. Since he was over 140, we all felt he was entitled. “You mean Commander Data?” I asked.

“I know who I mean, boy, doggone it. Damn it, Curmudgeon, I’m a Doctor, not a personnel file. They shoulda put pointy ears on that feller a long time ago.”

I made a mental note to tell Mr. Data that Admiral McCoy wished him a Merry Christmas.

“Alright, Leonard, I’m going to go then. I’ll miss you at the party.”

“Sure, sure, sure.” McCoy waved his bony hand dismissively, but as he was turning away from the screen, he suddenly looked back. “You be sure to say hello to that cute gal doctor they got. She’s a mighty fine dancer, you know. Mighty fine.” The screen went blank.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Later, at the party, after I’d conveyed Dr. McCoy’s holiday greetings to Worf and Data, I stopped to chat with Captain Picard.

“Thank you for inviting me to the party, Captain.”

Picard looked elegant in his dress uniform, but he seemed a bit distracted. “Yes, Happy Christmas, Curmudgeon,” he said, but he was looking over my shoulder toward the big double doors to Ten Forward.

A Borg drone approached with a plate of hors d’oeuvres. Nothing looked particularly appetizing and I waved it away. Picard also declined. The drone just stood there for a minute, whizzing and buzzing and nodding it’s head from side to side. Then it abruptly whirled and was gone.

“Very nice party, Captain,” I said, but Picard, though still next to me, seemed miles away.

I was just beginning to wonder why this might be so when three Borg drones, each carrying a tray, approached from 12, 4 and 8 o’clock, each one whizzing and buzzing and clanking a little louder than the next. I was so startled I almost didn’t see Seven as she stepped between me and Picard.

The drones thrust their trays out for inspection. Picard barely noticed them. He barely noticed Seven. He was distracted indeed.

“You’d better take something from one of them, Locutus,” said Seven. “They have been ordered to serve you hors d’oeuvres.”

Picard barely glanced at the trays before waving them off. I looked a little longer – but I took a pass as well. The drones, still at 12 and 4 and 8 o’clock, buzzed and whirred a little louder and some servo units on their extremities began opening and closing and making noises like a dentist’s drill in a nightmare. Their heads nodded left and right, then left and right again – and then they all spun on their heels and walked off in the directions from which they’d come.

“Merry Christmas, Seven,” I stammered. She was still wearing that elf costume and it looked wonderful on her. She eyed me coldly. “Christmas is irrelevant,” she said, “and you will be assimilated immediately if you don’t stop looking at me like that.”

I blushed; I did not realize that I had an inappropriate look on my face. I am a married man, after all. I muttered a farewell to them both and went in search of Ellee Seymour to talk about something safe, like politics.

I last caught sight of Picard, still staring at the doors of Ten Forward, as 12 Borg drones moved in on him in a circle, each with a tray extended.

It was then that the doors hissed open....

---------------------

Next, we have Danny Bailey ....

We stood on the transporter pad. A tall dark hair man in a red uniform smiled with a lovely woman at his side… Another man walked forward and extended his hand….

"Welcome to the USS Enterprise, I am Commander Data, this is the first officer Commander Riker and this is Deanna Troi. We hope you enjoy your stay…. Um… Mr. Danny Bailey and…. I am sorry it says significant other… I guess there was an error…" The young man stated…

I looked at Remy and smiled…

"Non, non… I am son ami." Remy smiles…

Commander Data looks puzzled and Ricker stands up straight and takes Miss Troi's arm…

"This is Remy Lebeau. This isn't going to be a problem?" I asked…

Deanna smiles and Riker clears his throat, "No not all, you will find we are very open- minded in the 24th century…"

I hear Commander Data ask in a whisper, "What are we being open- minded about?"

Deanna giggles as Riker whispers back, "Ask the Captain later."

Remy and I go to the Party.. We find a lot of different people there… We wave to the Professor and a few more…

Taking a table to the side, I smiled as I watch Remy trick a lot of people into a game of poker… Including Commander Riker. Several of the men I could see would be losing their wallets and their uniforms tonight. Miss Troi saved Commander Riker of that embarrassment…. Though Remy did win a trombone.

"Aw, its Mr. Bailey correct?" Picard smiled…

"Yes, Miss Ishikawa's protégé. Remy, This is our host Captain Jean Luc Picard." I began the polite introductions when Remy smiled…

"Bonjour Captain… Comment allez-vous?" Remy inquired…

The Captain lit up and began speaking French back… Asking where in France Remy was from because he couldn't quite distinguish the accent… Remy replied that he wasn't French but from Louisiana…

Because it is impolite to come empty handed I gave my Christmas gift for the Enterprise a bottle of real French champagne. The Captain was quite happy and after offering us each a glass of wine from his family vineyard Remy and I sat in a dark corner…

I looked up, "Mon Ami… Do you think anyone will see?"

Remy smiled evilly, "Who cares if they do…"

---------------------

The next guest at the party is Eleanor with:

Mac, more formally known as Admiral Grace MacKenzie (retired), was
approaching her 135th birthday, had entered retirement, and was in a
very, very bad mood. The day had begun with the on-board dental
hygiene program failing and she had a piece of ginger root stuck
between two of her back teeth. The replicator had duly produced a
small hand-held device but with it came an error message that there
was an unknown piece of data in the code and its performance could
not be guaranteed. She held the lightweight device in her hand,
looked at it thoughtfully, and decided she would rather face down a
dozen enemy vessels in her shuttle than put that anywhere near her
teeth. She had then wasted half a morning trying to work out how to
instruct the replicator to produce a low-tech and very ancient
solution called floss. It had given her fizz, froth, foam (26
different varieties and colours), medieval hemp rope, nautical sail
cording, and several different kinds of embroidery thread. She was
losing patience. Just as she was about to vent her verbal rage on
the computer a further error message appeared. She knew what to do,
having been out here in the shuttle now for some weeks with this
highly unreliable computer. She distracted it. She asked it to give
her a detailed account of Starfleet history, using the Intelligence
Service's own records, for a random date. Despite her retirement,
she did a little work now and again, and the service made sure she
had access. She sat back in her seat and stretched her stiff
joints. As the program ran silently through a silly number of
totally insignificant events, she watched the patterns on the screen,
more aware of it as an art form than a data stream. Abruptly, the
screen froze. The data simply said, 'Party: Captain Jean-Luc
Picard... then part of the data was missing. An interesting tile
pattern of dots appeared where the words should have been. She told
the screen to read out. Nothing happened. Then a voice said,
'because of this meeting between (unintelligable) and
(unintelligable) it is thought that the protracted conflict that had
caused one of the greatest disasters of the era (and then the voice
became blurred). As Mac sat there, thoroughly puzzled, all the
lights went out and the little shuttle, built by her eccentric boss
to look like one of the first Earth space shuttles, was plunged into
total darkness. Uncertainly, a single emergency light came on, and
there was nothing but utter silence.

"Networking!" She muttered. "The whole understanding of history
comes down to networking!" She sighed, and began to rummage for
the emergency back up systems control panel hidden just beneath the
console, and the tool kit she kept handy in the little compartment to
the right of her seat that most pilots used for their own personal
hologram chips and emergency chocolate. But the fact was, she was
consumed with curiosity. Who met whom at that party? And was the
crisis ended or begun? And why is her computer acting up? And, as
her hand found the tool kit and nothing else, where had she put her
chocolate?

--------------------

Here with his cape, is Count Wolfgang Dracula



The Holidays can get lonely so I was glad to be invited to the Christmas Party on board a starship… I know that Captain Picard and the Federation is about Diplomacy so being a Count of high stature for the Worker Caste of the Planet Drakulon, I had considered to come in the traditional attire befitting of a Drakulonian delegate…

I have so often been accused by Pantha and others that it makes me look like Napoleon… I do not think so… I am much more handsome than that paranoid Frenchman… I knew him well that is just how long I have lived… Personally I think he got his fashion design from us Drakulonians…

Well that is the past and I am heading to the future… I took one last look in the mirror and decided that though I am a Drakulonian Count, with an ambassadorial rank here on Earth I would wear something else…

When I beamed up the man before me was almost as pale as I and seemed confused…

"I am sorry, seems we have beamed up the wrong person… We were suppose to beam up… Count Wolfgang Dracula a Drakulonian Ambassador…" The pale one said

I pulled down the beard, "And so you did my boy… Just thought I would get into the spirit."

"Oh then my apologizes Count, I am Commander Data… Welcome aboard and to the Xmas Party." Mr. Data took me to the Party…

I saw many friends and a lot of new faces… I entered the room, "HO HO HO HO…… MERRY MERRY XMAS!"

I waved as I walked around handing out pieces of Drakulon peppermint candy sticks. Sadly I made the mistake to smile at a little boy named Alexander who after seeing my fangs ran to get his fathers weapon…

"Don't worry father I will slay the Vampire!" He yelled… Lt. Worf was kind enough to explain to him that I was a Drakulonian not a Vampire, well not exactly and not evil….

Toward the end of the night I watched all the couples dancing and kissing under a magic ceiling of mistletoe… I sighed…

"Blood Wine?" I turned to find a lovely woman looking at me…

"Is it fresh?" I asked

"Well, in the future we learned how to use synthetic blood for those who have been injured but we do have a supply of fresh human blood just incase. Doctor Crusher was kind enough to let me bottle some for our Drakulonian guest." She smiled… "and I learned from the famous Drakulon that invented fermentation to make.. real blood wine."

"Well then my fine lady pour us both a glass." I grinned…

"Well I will stick to Klingon Blood wine." She winked…

"Bedalvolo … tell me how can a young woman as yourself know the infamous Drakulonian … Count Vlad slayed him oh too long ago.." I inquired…

"I am not as young as I look, My name is Guinan." She smiled…
She spent most the party, tending bar, keeping my grandson and his friend out of the booze and fighting with Q, in between talking with me…

I waited until the Party was over… everyone had left and then when there was no one to serve, Guinan and I danced….

"You little imp, never say I didn’t do anything for you." A voice called from nowhere.

"Q!" Guinan sighed as we looked up and saw that a small bit of Mistletoe had returned over our heads… I smiled… "If I may?"

We kissed and wished each other a Merry Xmas….

--------------

Lastly for today, we have Ungaman



"Oh, C'mon dad! This could be fun!"

I frowned at the look of several golden, red and green ribbons hanging around the transporter pad. The officer at the station welcomed us and gave me a PADD painted in green and red, with a little bell hanging from one of the corners. My 7 years-old son headed to the tranporter station, touched several buttons and with some vivid light on his eyes, looked at me saying:

"wow! what does 'Transportation in transit. Are you sure you want to erase the buffer?' means?"

I turned pale and quickly grabbed him from the shoulder. Offering a "I'm-so-sorry-for-the-inconvenience" smile to the officer, we both moved outside the bay. Time to find Ten-Forward.

I really tried to follow the directions recorded on the PADD. I must say that it was really annoying to see a toon of Cap. Picard dressed as Santa popping-up every time I managed to get the right corridor... and to see a toon of Seven popping-up saying something about assimilation if I keep getting lost... my son asked me why she was still wearing for Halloween... I'll wait for him to meet her in person.

Now I'm impressed. As the doors at Ten-Forward hissed open, a incredible large crowd of people was already in place, cheering, laughing, drinking and... hmmm... I thought Deltans were stick to their Vow of Chastity while on-board a Federation vessel... never mind.
I tried to spot Geordi and share some insights about engineering. After all, Starfleet engineers tend to bond almost instantly.

I was wrong. As soon as I spotted him, I saw his face turning pale, then red in anger. I shook my head in surprise. I turned to look at my son and... he wasn't there anymore! I gasped for some air when I realized he was making a mess with some musical instruments and several Borg drones where after him.

"Excuse me! errr... would you excuse me please!!!... that.. that's my son" I tried very politely to call for the drones attention. One of them looked at me and told me with a very creepy and menacing voice

"This human tried to reduce the efficiency of our instrumental. He will be placed on a stasis chamber. Resistance is futile"

Perhaps that would be a good idea... but no... I prefer to struggle with this drones instead of my wife. After several minutes I managed to get my son back, no without my promise to
them to have a talk with their Manager and see if we can arrange some musical interlude on the Discovery, the vessel where I serve. Hmmm... hope Cap. Waltas wouldn't complain about that.

***********

Well, that was really odd. Romulan ale and Klingon food don't mix well. My son turned green at the smell and look of the several dishes on the table. I managed to eat a slice of...
can't remember the name... never mind. I see Seven calling for everyone's attention. She announced that the Strolling Bones will start playing soon, after they were really sure of
having re-aligned their equipments. I wonder how much missaligment could be done for my
son?

ZAP! FUZZ! BANG!

One of the drones collapsed onto the ground, spewing smoke and sparks from all of his body. His nano-probe tubes still attached to one of the... guitarrs? The crowd turned at me and I shrugged. Two strong pair of arms grabbed me and carried me in front of Seven. She looked at me, pointing to the one drone that was being attended on the ground.

"His connection with the Collective had been severed. You will take his place" She told me. Before I could reply, she gave me the weird guitar. "You will comply. Resistance is futile"
Nodding in direction of my son, who was now surrounded for several guys wearing yellow. By judging their glances, they were not engineers for sure.

Well... this is going to be a very long evening...

* sigh! *

----------------------

That was the first day of the party; more to follow tomorrow...

Saturday, December 02, 2006

TWQ: Favourite Party

As the Enterprise Christmas Party is almost upon us, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about the ones you've attended in the past.

What was the best party that you have ever attended?

My answers are:

My favourite party was the one I had for my 21st birthday. It was a sit-down meal, with a disco. The family really came together on a memorable night. As my birthday is in January, we were lucky, as the following day had a heavy snowfall, and had it been then, people could not have come.

Besides that, I've found that fancy dress parties are a great way to 'break the ice', and 'Murder Weekends' are huge fun.

Now it's over to you....

But before I go...

Just a note that the Enterprise Christrmas Party has been extended to seven parts because of the high level of entries. Sadly, there will be no TWQ next weekend because of this, but there will be a four-day one commencing Thurs 14th as I'll be in London.