Wednesday, June 23, 2010

The Photographer (Part Two)

Editors, Note:

Aaron Nace, ace photographer for Galactic Picture Magazine is aboard the Enterprise. He has said he is more interested in taking pictures of the female crew members as it sells more copies of the magazine, much to the annoyance of Captain Picard, who was preparing himself to be photographed before Nace came aboard.

Guest Poster: Ensign Britney

My soulsistah T'Pol and I are walking down the corridors of the Enterprise when we overhear voices.

"I've taken some great pictures, Captain." says an unfamiliar voice, "But the trouble is, most are in the same Starfleet uniform. We could do with some shots of others who wear something else. I know Seven of Nine wears that metal drone outfit, but we don't want to scare the readers."

T'Pol and I look at each other, laugh and step forward.

"Well we don't!" I say as we go forward to introduce ourselves. Captain Picard groans and tells this photographer, named Aaron Nace that we have dispensation to wear what we like as I'm from the planet Delta, and T'Pol is from the 22nd century.

"Now this is more like it!" exclaims Nace, "What a couple of babes! I'll have you both on the cover of our latest magazine and we'll have an all-time high circulation. All the male readers will adore you."

"Brit and I are only interested in each other, aren't we?" T'Pol tells him plainly.

"That's right, soilsistah." I confirm, "You're my girl."

"That's fabulous!" Nace tells us in realisation, "It'll send circulation sky-high."

Captain Picard decides to take a stress pill at this time.


A few hours later, T'Pol and I are ready for our picture session.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" the Captain asks us both, "It's not exactly the image of the Enterprise we wished to present."

"Don't worry, Captain" T'Pol tell him, "We'll keep our clothes on."

"Are we?" I ask her.

A few moments later, I'm there posing with my blonde wig on, and not much else.

"You look fab, Britney." Nace says as he snaps away, "You and T'Pol will be famous after the magazine is published."

After that, he turns to T'Pol.

"That's groovy, " he says, "A real chic outfit. What every 24th century girl should be wearing."

I cheer from behind and blow her kisses.


After the session, Nace packs up and is ready to go.

"Well, goodbye, Captain." he says, you've got a glamourous crew here. Britney and T'Pol will be the main stars in the magazine. When it's published, they'll be celebrities."

Deanna Troi suddenly runs in.

"Hey, what about me?" she says to Nace, "I'm Deanna Troi. I had to take a lecture, and couldn't come any earlier. You can take my picture now, Mr Nace."

"Err...I'm sorry, Miss Troi." Nace replies, "I've got all the pictures I need with the help of these two women here."

Deanna looks at us both in annoyance, then storms out of the room without saying a word.

"Oops!" I say, giggling at T'Pol.

"Brit!" she laughs.

"We're gonna be celebs!"


Linda said...

The new pin-up girls of the 24th century ... what is the galaxy coming to?

And poor Will, he's going to have to do some major league comforting with a miffed Deanna!

The Curmudgeon said...

If he'd seen Borg Queen Troi, he'd reconsider....

Unknown said...

I see a cover story: "Miffed and Bald".

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Michael, it's a good job you don't write the cover stories then!

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