Monday, June 28, 2010

Data & Jennifer On Vacation (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

Data and I are arriving on the beach planet of Solara. I have decided that I want my tan topping up. He did say that I could be doing this on a program in the holodeck, but I've replied to him saying it's not the same thing.

"Now have you packed your emotion chip, Data?" I ask him, "We are on vacation, and I don't want to suddenly find you've left it in our quarters on the Enterprise. We need that this week; it's not like forgetting an alarm clock."

"I have in in my skull, Jenny." he answers, "I just need to flick the switch and it will be fun time."

"That's my Data!" I reply, laughing.

Data picks up all the many suitcases he and I have, and lists them all up on to the cart and carries it into the hotel. That's the advantage of having an android boyfriend with super-strength. No tipping for bellboys who are holding their hands out, waiting for a tip!

We apprtoach ther reception to see an overgrinning hotel clerk.

"Hello, I'm Raymond." he says, "Welcome to the Hotel Solaris."

Why is it that desk clerks always seem to look the same? It makes one think they came off a production line. Who knows? Maybe they do.

"Data and Miss Jennifer Baxter." Data answers, "Booked for the Penthouse Suite."

Raymond looks a little puzzled at Data. "Are you an android?" he asks.

"Affirmative." replies Data.

"And you are human?" he asks me, as if I didn't know where this is leading.

"Of course." I answer.

"Err.....have a good time." he says hurriedly and lets us go, as if he intends to tell his staff about the odd couple who have checked in."


A few hours later, I have my bikini on, and am swimming in the hotel pool.

"Come on in the water, Data!" I yell to him, as he sits in his deckchair reading the latest issue of Popular Robotics, "Come and enjoy yourself in the water."

Data walks up to the edge.

"If I do, Jenny." he tells me, "I always have to do a Level One Diagnostic on myself afterwards."

"I'll give you that Level One Diagnostic myself!" I reply seductively, and grab his leg so Data plunges in the water. He surfaces and kisses me. That emotion chip is in!

Suddenly, we see a group of figures on the side of the pool. They are all hotel staff, including Raymond the receptionist.

"Mr Data, Miss Baxter." the manager says coldly, "We need you to both come with us. Some facts about you two have been given to me from our receptionist."

To be continued...


Linda said...

Ut-oh, what is it that could have interrupted such a nice time?

Unknown said...

Gotta watch those emotional data chips! Also, Captain, I know I am in for fun whenever "Jennifer Baxter" pinch hits on this site! :) Nice!