Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Alexander The Celebrity Chef (Part One)

Guest poster: Worf

This week, my son Alexander begins a new school year in the Enterprise classroom.

Though he has to learn essential grammar and numbers, it alarms me that he has to master how to bake a cake. I would much prefer him to be training as a Klingon warrior by slaying monsters and Romulans in the holodeck.

"Worfie." says Jadzia, "You are being so old fashioned. Let Alexander express himself in any way he wishes. You'll be proud of him."

"I would be far more proud if he brought me the head of a savage K'tagh beast." I complain.


Alexander returns from school, looking rather pleased.

"Father." he says to me, "After Miss Forrester gave us all that cooking assignment to do, I have decided that I wish to become a celebrity chef."

Jadzia barely manages to conceal her smile as I look annoyed.

"Alexander." I tell him, "You will become a Klingon warrior. Every so often you come to me with different ideas of what you want to be. Not long ago, you said you aspired to be a ballet dancer. You need a career that will unleash your Klingon fury."

"Then a celebrity chef is an ideal career, father." Alexander replies, "I've read in history books that all celebrity chefs need to do is shout and swear at anyone who enters their kitchen. In fact, I've been learning lots of new swear words to help me."

"Err....I don't think that is necessary, Alexander." Jadzia tells him, "It is not very honourable."

"That is true." I say, "Refrain from doing so...unless you are confronting a savage K'targh beast."

I tell the two of them that we are going to visit Miss Forrester, the school teacher.

To be continued...


Fly Girl said...

Alexander makes a good point. Although I think it's only your own Gordon that screams and insults with such fury. The average celebrity chef tends to be well-mannered. Provides a good environment to digest food.

The Curmudgeon said...

Hmmmm. Maybe Star Fleet had a point about us 21st Century visitors messing up the timeline. Celebrity chefs?

Honest, Jean Luc, I never watch those shows so I couldn't have left any data chips lying around my visitor's quarters.

How about an old-fashioned Vulcan mind-meld to release Alexander's Inner Warrior? Do you think that might help?

Batgirl said...

What's a "swear word?"

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I'm expecting to see gordon ramsey any time now

Linda said...

I can see it now ... "Klingon Kitchen" - it has potential!

Ellee Seymour said...

I agree that a Celebrity Chef is a great career choice.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Linda, a Klingon kitchen might do quite well, although the dishes might be unusual.

Fly Girl, you're right. Fortunately, not all chefs are like Ramsey.

Batgirl, a swear word is what the Joker uses when he has been foiled by Batman.

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