An Unfortunate Accident

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N-now, I'm er, not sure I should really being d-doing this, but I'm going to have a try. I tried before, and instead I w-wiped off all the records off W-worf's personal log when I did.

For all I know, this is probably not my log, but C-captain Picard's.

Deanna advised me in our last c-counselling session to express myself more and say what I think using the personal log. After that holodeck addiction incident that I h-had I while back, I'll try anything.

Deanna has been very patient with me. She tells me that I'm her biggest c-challenge, which doesn't sound like much of a compliment to me. I did have the good news from her that I've made enough p-progress to be let back into Engineering.

I know Geordi had to have a sedative after the last time I was there. Really, t-though, it was all an accident with the Warp Core.

It was also an accident afterwards when I visited him in Sickbay. My arm touched the bed-moving position, and he suddenly shot forward and landed on the floor.

"It's okay, Reg." he said at the time. What puzzled me is how did he know it was me visiting when he didn't have his Visor on and I hadn't said anything at the time.

A l-lucky guess, I suppose.

Anyway, it's off to Engineering. Geordi will be pleased to know he's got an extra pair of hands to help him there.

I enter Engineering. Five people see me, say "Hi Reg!" rather nervously and quickly leave the room.

"H-hello Geordi!" I call out to him, as he is working on a plasma cell.

He looks round, and gives me a glazed smile.

"W-what are you doing here, Reg?" he asks me, "I thought after that last incident, you had been relocated on the ship."

"T-that's true, Geordi." I reply, "But Counselor Troi thinks I am well enough to return to Engineering ."

"Err...ok, Reg," he says, "Just work on this plasma cell here. DON'T go ANYWHERE near that Warp Core. We don't want a repitition of that last incident, do we?"

"N-no, that was regrettable." I agree.

Geordi walks off and takes a couple of extra-strong sedatives.

"Before you go." I call out, "I've got some theories for a new h-high-powered enhanced Warp Drive. I can bring the plans down, and start to work on them r-right away if you like."

Geordi goes a little pale.

"Maybe some other time, Reg." he groans. He takes two more sedative tablets, and leaves.

I'm s-sure the Enterprise would be going at Warp 12 by now if they left it to me.

Peace Conference

Today is not going to be an easy day, I'm chairing a Peace Conference between the Klingons and the Romulans.

Why do they pick me? I'm sure the Federation like to see me suffer. Maybe everyone else is doing their shopping, so the throught "Send Picard!" comes up.

The neutral planet of Argon has been selected for the meeting; there is a friendly non-Federation population there, who will host it while we discuss matters.

I arrive in the meeting room. Worf is there with his security team. He is looking tough, with phasers at the ready.

Fa'Lath, a leading member of the Klingon High Council comes in, acknowledges us, and sits at his place on the table.

Commander Tang of the Romulans walks in and looks over everywhere. He sees Worf.

"What is this!" he says in disgust, "This is supposed to be a neutral meeting, yet you have your Klingon puppet here ready to kill me at any time, Picard."

I can see this isn't going to be a fun time. My head starts throbbing.

"Perhaps, Mr Worf, you would be better positioned on the Enterprise, while your team looks after things here." I suggest.

Worf mutters a few Klingon expletives, and leaves the room.

"That's better! Tang mentions, "Although you and the Klingons have an alliance. It makes me on my own."

"That's true." I say, "But then if you do join us, we'll all be part of the same team."

Fa'Lath agrees with me; I seem to be doing well, now. Starfleet will be pleased.

"Do I REALLY want be on the same side as THIS person?" sneers Tang, "Our two sides have been bitter enemies for a long time. The Klingons need to be punished for all their cowardly actions!"

Oh, dear. That could be classed as a slightly inflammatory remark.

"What are you saying?" shouts Fa'Lath, "Our race has honour and tradition. The Romulans are a cowardly race who claim they have done much but haven't. The is no honour with a Romulan."
Things are starting to go downhill faster than a gold medal skier at the Olympics.

"This is what YOU deserve." Tang tells the Klingon. He picks up the water jug and throws it all over him. The two of them jump over each other and start scrapping.

"What shall we do, Captain?" one of the security guards asks me.

"I don't think there is anything we can do, Ensign." I sadly reply, "Let them have their tussle and then escort them back to their ships. They'll both claim victory and things will be back to the way they were."

It looks like Starfleet will probably send me on a 'How To Be A Peace Negotiator' course before long.

TWQ: Special Songs (Plus Santa Letter)

The Weekend Question (TWQ) this week concentrates on musical memories.

What songs have a special meaning in your life and why? What memories do they bring back?

Here is my answer:

'Hey Jude' by The Beatles reminds be of my last day at school. As we didn't do anything that day, a lot of us sat in rooms. The teachers were not around. I had bought a cassette player, and one of the songs played was that one. I turned the volume way up and everybody enjoyed it. Right after that, I left the school for good.

'Morningtown Ride' by The Seekers was one of the earliest songs I ever heard, and it always brings back memories of childhood. I once went to a concert by Judith Durham (lead singer of The Seekers). When she sang that, I found it chilling.

Now it's over to you...

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As a bonus, I found this. It's a do-it-yourself Santa letter for adults to write. I found it hilarious when the result came out for me. Try it. It's on Dear Santa

Five Weird Habits

Unfortunately, I have been tagged by Ciera , whom I shall have to have a talk with about this later!


Here are the rules:

“The first player of this game starts with the topic “five weird habits of yourself,” and people who get tagged need to write an entry about their five weird habits as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose the next five people to be tagged and link to their web journals. Don’t forget to leave a comment in their blog or journal that says “You are tagged” (assuming they take comments) and tell them to read yours.”


The rules seem bewildering to me, but here are five weird habits of mine:

1: I always like to switch the lights off when I leave the room, even for a few minutes.

2: I adore strong powerful cheese.

3: I love old movies. Besides Cagney gangster movies, the silent horror classics are fascinating.

4: I don't know anyone else who blogs in my area either.

5: I tend to do things by the same routine, and get out of sorts if something changes.

Pick five people....er, how about
Jen
Lori
Jon
Running2Ks
Stationery Queen

Apologies to all that I've chosen. Someone had to get the short straw!

Computer Problems

The senior staff are not in a good position right now.

For some reason the ship's computer has rebelled against us, and we are all trapped in Ten Forward by force fields.

The rest of the crew are isolated in their quarters or cannot move, due to the force fiels that surrounds them.

I'll try again.

"Computer! This is Captain Jean-Luc Picard. You will remove all forcefields and return to normal."

"Unable to comply."

"Why not."

"Authorisation not recognised."

Betrayed by a heap of circuits!

I'll try the old standby of asking the others so that it loiks like my idea at the end of it all. That is the first rule taught to us when we assume the rank of Captain.

"Suggestions, anyone?" I inquire.

Riker, Deanna, Worf and Beverly look blank, as if they have been in last place on 'Jeopardy'.

"Mr La Forge?"

"Can we switch the engine off?"

"How do we do that from here?" asks Worf, with a disgusted look.

"Perhaps we can reboot the computer?" suggests Data.

"How would that be possible?" I ask.

"We could set up a neural link with my positronic brain to any computer interface here in Ten Forward. I could send an instruction to switch off. It might even help find out the cause and counteract it."

I am totally confused, but tell Data to go ahead.

He opens a circuit in his head and links a wire to the interface. It lights up and Data's eyes start going around. Then he falls asleep."

"Do not do this again, or Life Support will be removed!" the computer tells us.

"I've got an idea!" says Riker, "We could try the Sid Manouvre."

"Yes, Number One, that will work!"

Geordi goes white.

"Captain, you know what will happen to the circuits...."

"Yes, Mr La Forge, but our situation is desperate."

Riker goes to the replicator and asks for a hammer. He goes under the computer interface and starts hammering at the circuits. The lights start flashing on and off. Eventually, they go down and restart, this time without the forcefields.

The computer responds to my Command Codes. Data is awake again.

"Well done, Number One." I say, "The Sid Manouvre needs to be written into all Starfleet manuals."

"What do you think it was?" asks Deanna.

"I don't know, Counselor. We may have cured the commom cold, but over four centuries, computer blips are the biggest puzzles of all."

Life At The Academy

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Gee, it's really exciting here at the Academy. Not a day goes by without something happening that I am involved in.

I know the lecturers think highly of me as they usually mention my name whenever something important has occurred.

"It's that Wesley!" I overheard one of them say the other day.

How fantastic to be praised liked that by the Academics!

Last week, I managed to save the Academy from destruction by anti-matter in the Chemical lab at the last moment. Apparently, some student had left the bunsun burner on the previous day and it had ignited a chemical chain reaction.

It must have been someone in my class, as I happened to be in the chemical class at the same time. It was the day after when I heard my name was mentioned from one lecturer to the other, after I saved the Academy again.

Some students are so irresponsible!

Yesterday, I chatted with Mr Boothby, the Head Gardener at the Academy. He's been there SO many years, us students think he might have designed the buildings, as well as the garden.

"Now listen, son" he tells me, "You'll go far; I've said this to a lot of future Captains, like Picard, Sisko, Ransom and Janeway, when she could find her way here, to be careful of your enemies."

"But I don't have any enemies." I cheerfully say, "Everybody likes me; after all, I've done so many good things."

I take a rose off one of the plants and hum along as I leave. I hear Mr Boothby mumble something about a know-all.

Then I see Cadet Marlena Yates.

"Hi Marlena!" I say, "Look, I've got you this rose."

"Er..thanks, Wes" she replies, "What will Boothby say?"

"Oh, he won't mind; he's got lots of flowers. Besides, he and I are great friends."

Suddenly, I am informed that there is a call on the monitor from my mother on the Enterprise. Wow!

I say goodbye to Marlena, who rolls her eyes and is shaking her head. I wonder what that means? I'll have to ask her some day.

When I reach the Communications screen, I switch it on, ready to receive her call.

"Hi, Mom!" I say, "This is Wes!"

"Hello Wes, how are you?"

I tell her all the events that have been happening lately.

"The Academy seem to have a lot of disasters, Wes" she mentions.

"Yes." I reply, "But fortunately I've been at hand to save them all."

"That's true, but they hadn't used to have them happening before you joined them, Wes."

"Isn't that odd, Mom?"

"Yes, did you enjoy party the Enterprise had last week?."

"I sure did, Mom! I saw you kissing Captain Picard. Does that mean you two will get married and I can start calling him 'Dad'?"

"Err...I don't think so, Wes, after all, it was only at the end of the party. The two of us have a professional standing to consider."

"Aw, gee, Mom, get him to take you on a date. After all, no one else is interested in you."

"Thanks, Wes. I feel a lot better now!"

We say goodbye and I head out to find Marlena.

I see her kissing Cadet George Tsami. He used to be my best friend at the Academy.

What a pal(!)

After The Party

I feel like like got an enormous headache.

Every sound seems amplified a hundred times, and my body feels like it's got a ton weight on it, making it unable to move.

It's the day after the Christmas Party.

I stagger out of bed and fall on the floor; eventually I crawl in to have a sonic shower. It has no effect, and my eyesight is blurred and fuzzy.

The next thing I decide to do is call Riker; maybe he'll be in better condition than I am.

After repeated attempts, I finally hear a sound.

"Urrgggh? Who's that?"

"Number One...urrr..Is that you?" I ask haltingly.

"Urr..yes, Captain."

"Are you all right?"

"I think so, Captain...who am I?"

"You're Commander Riker; get ready to be on the Bridge in 30 minutes. We'll start off then."

"All right; Riker out." I think I hear Deanna mumbling in the background as he signs off.

Next I ask the computer to locate Data.

"Commander Data is on the Bridge."

He would be; I call him.

"Good morning, Captain." he tells me in that clear voice of voice, that increases my headache, "I hope you had a good night's sleep. I have been loking after the Enterprise, and all systems are functioning at optimum parameters."

That's too much to swallow right now. I tell him groggily we will start in 30 minutes.

When I have my uniform on, I stumble along to SickBay. Various members of the crew are wandering in a daze, lying against the wall with their eyes closed or unconscious on the floor.

Eventually I reach there. A long queue is outside. I walk in and find the EMH is treating all the patients. Beverly is unconscious on one of the beds.

"Disgusting!" the EMH tells me, "You solids can't look after yourselves properly. I'm having to look after a shipful of drunken people. Even Dr Crusher cannot look after herself properly."

"What can you give me to help, Doctor?" I ask.

"Even here in the 24th Century, there is not a cure for a hangover. You are meant to be able to look after your bodies. This pill may help you slightly. It is called a Placebo Drug."

I take it, and the EMH smiles to himself. Then I head for the Bridge.

When I eventually find it, the senior staff are there, all looking the worse for wear. Worf staggers around slowly, Riker is holding his head in his hand. Deanna is wearing dark glasses. Geordi comes in, and sits down, helped to his chair by Data.

We set off; after about twenty minutes we get an unusual video signal hailing us. A large ship approaches.

"We are The Drell." it announces, "We are about to invade your Quadrant, eliminate the Federation and destroy your Starship."

Not now, please!!

A very agressive alien looks at us all.

"Why are you all looking so tired?" he asks.

I tell him that we just had a big party last night, and that we haven't recovered from the effects of it yet.

"You have my sympathes." he informs us, "We are often like that the morning after a Drell Victory Party. We cannot move for days when that happens. Is there a convenient day we can invade?"

"We should be free sometime next week." I tell him.

"Fine", he says, "I'll mark that down in my diary then."

The Drell battleship. moves away at high warp.

There are days when one just doesn't feel like a lengthy battle.

Has someone got some black coffee?

TWQ: Silly Questions And Good Answers

This weekend, the subject turns to something that annoys us all; inane questions.

What annoying and banal questions do you know? Do you remember when they were used. Can you think of a witty and sarcastic reply that would be perfect to use?

Here's my answer:

The most annoying question I know begins with "How do you feel...". This is usally said by media people after something has happened. Their questions may be, "How do you feel now that you have won six gold medals? or "How do you feel now that your husband has been imprisoned for thirty years for tax evasion, although he said he was innocent?"

A snappy answer to both might be, "Wow! Those performance enhaning drugs worked well!" and, "Now I can get divorced and marry his accountant brother!"

Now it's over to you...