Wednesday, December 01, 2010

Beverly The Elf

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

This year, I've been selected as the Elf to assist Jean-Luc, who will be dressing up as Santya Claus as the children visit him in his Grotto. I am wearing a tini green mini dress with green stockings.

Jean-Luc is sitting on the chair, waiting to welcome the children in.

"Are you ready, Jean-Luc."

"Yes, Bev." he answers, and looks at me, "I must say, you look very attractive in that outfit. Perhaps you want to keep it and wear it when we have dinner in our quarters tonight?"

We laugh, and kiss, then I go and fetch the first child.

"Ho, ho, ho!" Jean-Luc says, "Who are you and what do YOU want, little boy?"

"I'm George." he says quickly, "Do this is the way it's gonna work. I saw you kissing that elf. Can't say I blame you, though, she's a good looking one. Anyway, Santa, send me everything on this list and I won't say anything about what you got up to with the elf. If there's one thing missing, the news will be on it's way to Starfleet."

George promptly walks off with a satisfied smile.

"That was amazing!" I exclaim.

"Yes." Jean-Luc replies, "He'll probably be an Admiral before he is 25."

The next child comes in, a young girl called Miriam.

"Hello, Miriam." says Jean-Luc, "I'm Santa Claus. What do you want for Christmas."

"I want to be married and have lots of children!" she exclaims.

"But you're only six." Jean-Luc tells her, "Wouldn't you rather have some dollies like a Barbie Starfleet Officer or a dolls house?

"That's for children!" sneers Miriam, "I'm six and am nearly a grown woman."

Miriam gets up and reminds Jean-Luc that she expects Santa to deliver a gold wedding ring.

"That girl is growing up way too fast!" I comment.

"True enough." he answers, "She and George would probably go well together."

Jean-Luc continues seeing children, some of whom are sick over his outfit. Fortunately I am on hand with special elf tissue to rub it all..

"How many more, Bev?" Jean-Luc asks me, clearly exhausted.

"Just the one." I tell him.

A sweet little girl named Wendy comes in, looking very angelic.

"What do you want for Christmas, Wendy?" asks Jean-Luc.

"I want a doctor's medical instruction book, plus the Starfleet proceedure of recruitment." Wendy starts,"Plus the advanced guide to understanding the medical knowhow of all the races in Starfleet."

After running through all the medical equipment she will need for studying, sher says "Thank you, Santa." and skips off.

"Why did Wendy not say she wanted my job?" I sarcastically say, "It would have been a lot easier!"

"Well that's it for another year!" Jean-Luc says as he tries to pull off his beard, forgetting he added extra-string glue on!


Linda said...

Kids these days ... whatever happened to wanting a toy gun or a hula hoop??

Ellee Seymour said...

Red is always a head turner, for Santa and his little helpers. Beverley looks stunning.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Huia hoops aren't exactly the in thing in the 24th century

Gordon said...

Hmm What can I say kids in the 24th Century are much like kids back in the 21st only they want to grow up 25% faster...