Monday, December 20, 2010
Sheena's First Christmas
Guest Poster: Sheena
Everyone on the USS Rhode Island is acting very strangely.
They are being very friendly towards each other. Some are exchanging gifts. I've even seen some holding a small berry-like plant above another's head and kissing them passionately.
Whatever is this strange ritual?
Daddy comes in, looking excited.
"Hello, sweetie." he says, "Are you ready for Santa Claus?"
Santa Claus? Who is he then? Mommy walks up to us.
"Wes!" says mommy sharply, "This is Sheena's first Christmas. She iusn't going to know who Santa Claus is. Incidentally, on my home planet of Wondawowman, Santa is a superstrong amazon dressed in red who drives in a sleigh pulled by men."
"I kniow that." sighs daddy, "But we had agreed to teach Sheena what the rest of the galaxy knows about Santa instead"
"Very well, pumpkin." mommy says, and the two of them sit to face me.
"Now then, Sheena." daddy begins, "On the 25th of December, you're due for a big surprise."
Is the President of Starfleet visiting, I wonder to myself?
"A person known as Santa Claus will be visiting you." mommy continues, "He will be going to all the boys and girls in the galaxy and delivering toys and presents to those children who have been good this year."
That counts me out straight away. There have been times I've feigned crying just to get attention in the middle of the night. I'm a bad girl.
"You'll be getting some beautiful things, sweetie." daddy tells me, "I've arranged it with Santa that you get the best."
Oh really? Santa couldn't have noticed. I'll keep quiet about that, which is pretty easy really, as I can only say a few vital words that mommy taught me, like 'spear', 'woman' and 'amazon'.
"All the children will be getting presents on Christmas Day" daddy tells me, "Just keep your eyes closed at night while he arrives on his sleigh carrying toys and deposits them in your nursery."
This is a bit puzzling to me, as Captain Hernandez will not allow aliens on board the USS Rhode Island without good reason. I suppose Santa has special dispensation. I hope so, as I wouldn't like Santa to be blown to pieces out in space by a couple of photon torpedoes.
I'm also baffled as to how Santa gets around the galaxy so fast. Perhaps his sleigh has warp speed capability?
Anyway, I'm, mgoing to be a good little girl from now on...until I get the presents, anyway.