Monday, December 07, 2009

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part One)

Guest Poster: The Borg Queen

The Borg Cube Unimatrix Zero 01 arrives at the planet Wondawowman, home of the amazons. I've got my party dress on and am all ready to have a good time at the Enterprise Christmas Party.

Naturally I had a few moans via videoscreen from the Troi Borg Queen, saying I am a disgrace to the Borg race. She's just jealous. Besides, I had full backing from our Leader, the Alpha Borg Queen, who was dissapointed she couldn't come herself.

I beam down to the surface, and am greeted by two formidable amazons. They would make good drones on my Cube, but I remind myself that I am here for the Christmas Party.

They take me to Queen Diana, leader of the amazons, who greets me warmly.

"Welcome to Wondawowman." she says, "Please call me Diana. It's a pleasure to meet a Queen leader such as yourself. I think we'll have a lot to chat about. Please have a vol-au-vant."

One of her amazons walks up to me and carries a tray full of various goodies.

"Thank you." I say to Diana, "All my friends call me Queenie. Please do."

As the two of us walk up to the main party area, I see people from the Enterprise and Rhode Island all gathered together chatting. Locutus is there talking to his redhead girlfriend. A slight grimace appears on his face but he recovers enough.

"Welcome to the party." Locutus says diplomatically, "That is a smart dress you have."

"Thank you, Locurtus." I reply, "This little black mini-dress I find quite suitable."

"Errr...yes." he answers, but before he can say more, the redhead drags him away.

Seven sees me and greets me.

"Hello, my Queen." she says, "It is good to see you after so long."

"Likewise, Seven." I reply, "Is that a cracker you have there?"

"Yes." she answers, "It will contain a plastic toy, a joke and a paper hat. Shall we pull the cracker?"

I agree, and we pull, Seven carefully making sure that I win. Seven always was the sort of drone to let the boss win.

I get a red paper hat, a plastic Borg Cube. Remaining is a small piece of paper with some writing on.

"This must be the joke." I say, "I'll read it out.....'Why did the Starfleet chicken cross the road? Answer: To go where no chicken has gone before."

"I do not understand that." Seven comments flatly.

"Neither do I." I tell her, "It's a good job that humour is irrelevant."

"Let's go and enjoy the party." Seven tells me, "I have observed that Lieutenant Worf has been having several Klingon bloodwines and is already the worse for wear. Jadzia Dax is telling him off."

"The redhead has also had a few" I point out as well., "I'll be able to grab a dance with Locutus once she gets more involved with the drink than keeping an eye on him."

To be continued...


Unknown said...

Captain: Can we look forward to an appearance by The Strolling Drones this year? And for the record, I will happily call her "Diana"! ;D

supergirl said...

Woah Diana like looks like someone I totally know it's weird how much in fact.

Party sounds' kickin'

Anonymous said...
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Lahdeedah said...

Why are the Borg always involved in the Christmas parties?

The Curmudgeon said...

I sense conflict on the horizon between the Borg Queen, er, Queenie and Dr. Crusher.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It seems like the Borg...or the Borg Queen has a definate liking for parties.

Michael, sorry, the Strolling Drones are booked elsewhere. Naturally, the band are all amazons. this year.

Fly Girl said...

What is a Borg cube? It sounds very entertaining.

Anonymous said...


The Mistress of the Dark said...

Yay! Party time!