Sunday, March 19, 2006

The Walt Springer Show (Part One)

What follows is the transcript for 'The Walt Springer Show' The senior staff of the Enterprise were ordered by Starfleet to take part in this so that it would promote better understanding between the citizens of the Federation and those who were in the starships.

What a farce.....


The show theme plays and the audience cheers loudly.

Audience: "Walt! Walt! Walt! Walt!"

Walt comes on to rousing applause.

Walt Springer: "Hi folks, it's great to see you again. After last week's story about the bigamist who 'married' a Klingon, a Romulan and a Cardassian without any of the wives knowing about the other, we've got a great group of gusts with us tonight."

Audience: "Oooooh!"

WS: "Tonight, we've got the senior staff from the Federation Starship Enterprise all here!"

Audience: "Oooooooooh!"

The guests beam on to their chairs; the audience applauds.

WS: "Let me introduce Lieutenant Worf, Counselor Troi, Doctor Beverly Crusher, Lieutenant Commander Geordi La Forge, Lieutenant Commander Data, Commander William Riker and last, but not least, the leader of this merry band, Captain Jean-Luc Picard."


WS: "Now first of all, Jean-Luc, how do you lead this group of characters?"

Picard: "Mr Springer, I'd prefer it if you'd address me as 'Captain' or 'Captain Picard'.

Audience: "Ooooooooh!"

WS (turning to the audience): "Wow, folks, it looks like we're in for some Starfleet official protocol here. I'd better watch what I say, or I'll get thrown in the Enterprise brig!"

Audience laughs hysterically.

WS: "Ok, I'll ask Mr La is that ok?"

La Forge: "You can call me Geordi."

WS: "That's great; you have really cool shades there, Geordi. Does it attract the girls on the Enterprise?"

La Forge: "I'm blind, you idiot!"

WS: "Woops, folks, the Political Correctness Manager at the station will get me for that one. We'll have so many letters."

Audience laughs.

WS: "Now then, Geordi, you are the Chief Engineer on the Enterprise. I've heard from reliable sources that the Warp Core has broken down a few times. You haven't been buying components on the cheap, have you?"

La Forge: "How did you find that....I mean that's simply not true. All the components on the Enterprise are of the finest quality. It's only through the amount of travel it does that makes it wear down a little."

WS: "Err..yeah, sure!" (he looks at audience, who laugh with him)

WS: "Now, Geordi, on the video screen, we've got a special guest, it's your girlfriend, Trisha Lewis!"

Trisha: "Hi Geordi! Hi Walt! Hi everybody!"

Picard puts his head in his hands and groans

WS: "Now, Trisha, how did you and Geordi meet?"

Trisha: "Through a dating agency, Walt."

WS: "How is your relationship now, Trisha?"

Trisha: "Oh, great, we love each other to bits, don't we Geordi, honey?"

La Forge: "Er...yes, sure, Trish."

WS: "Thanks Trisha, and goodbye."

The screen fades as Trisha waves at the audience.

WS: "That's all for now folks. Be sure to join me after the break, when I'll be talking to more of the Enterprise crew."



OldLady Of The Hills said...

I am not familiar with the backstory here Captain, but so far, the intrigue of this post has me wondering just who is dating whom??? Forgive my ignorance Captain, dear....(Have I become too familiar??? I apologize, if I have...please forgive me if I have gone too far, my dear...OOOOOPS! I've done it again...sorry...)

I'm here from Michele today, and always happy to visit you.

Redneck Mommy said...

Ohh, a blast from my past. My mom and I were big Trekkies. And I sooo loved Captain Picard. And Worf.

Michele sent me. And now I'm going to relive some Trekky fantasies...

Anonymous said...

The springer show, man wait till Huttraldo Grevaria gets wind a this one.

This one is gonna haunt ya !!

Gyrobo said...

I always wondered what T.V. would be like in the future. I was expecting more robots. And lasers.

Professor Xavier said...

From what I've heard of that show you seem to have gotten off lightly so far. I mean no one's taken their top of yet, right?

Nic said...

I am waiting on the edge of my sofa transfixed and waiting with baited breath for the end of the commercial break and the return of the show. I can't wait to see what else is "revealed" - er as in secrets only.

BTW, Thought you would find it interesting that my word verification is "cappy". LOL! Maybe Troi took over the word verification.

Unknown said...

Walt Springer meets TNG, oh my!

Son Goku said...

I just hope if someone does take thier top off it ain't Riker yuck!

Anonymous said...

well capt becareful someone might stir things between worf and ricker or he might bring on Dax

you know springer likes a good fight on his show

Captain Berk said...

I bet Trish reveals she is an android or something. Then we get to watch Geordi break down on intergalactic TV.

A girl told me she was an android once. She said it meant we couldn't date.

I told her she was my ideal girlfriend because she had no emotional issues.

She still dumped me

I saw her leaving the counsellors office the other day. She looked like she had seen a ghost.

Why would an Android need counselling?

Trinity13 said...

I think the first half has gone pretty one is fighting!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I don't think any tops will be coming off. If Riker did, it would be too much for anyone.

There might well be a fight, though.

Incidentally, this is a three-part interview.

Master Yoda said...

Wait until Part 2 and 3 I can not. But have to send the Younglings to bed before it comes on, I will. Let them watch the Walt Springer show I do not.


I've wondered why your starfleet was removed from our TV Channels. We always had STar Trek every Fridays but it just vanished.

Viamarie said...

Hello! Thanks for the birthday greetings.

Have a nice day.

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