When there is nothing happening on the Enterprise, and are just waiting to meet with another starship, what better to to than relax on the holodeck?
I'm setting up the program to be my favourite detective from the 1940's, Dixon Hill, and giving him a case to solve.
I've invited Data, Geordi La Forge, Beverly and Deanna along as well, while Riker and Worf look after ther ship.
We're all dressed up; I've got my trenchcoat, Data & Geordi looks like gangsters, and Beverly and Deanna look like a couple of molls in their fishnet stockings.
I enter my office with the others to see my secretary. She is a dozy blonde who is polishing her nails.
"Any calls for me, Lola?"
"Errr, no, Dixon...I mean Mr Hill." she says in a squeakily high voice. She then looks at the four others with me, strangely, especially Beverly and Deanna.
"Who are the skoits?" she whispers.
"Just some business acquaintancies."
Once we are in the office, Data begins to shuffle his feet a little and pulls his hand out of pocket suddenly.
"What are you doing, Data?"
"I am trying to enact my part; am I not what you call 'a missile'.?"
"Don't you mean 'torpedo'?" asks Geordi.
"Data." I say, "With your pale skin, you are a foreigner from abroad, probably a Frenchman."
Beverly says, 'These clothes ache, and these five inch stilettoes are impossible to walk in: however did women wear them?".
She falls on to the floor as she tries to walk.
Deanna agrees, "And these girdles are torture devices."
We get a call from Riker.
"Trouble, Captain; we're passing through a very strange cloud. I don't know whether you ought to know."
"You were wise to tell me, Number One, keep me informed."
There is a sudden flash everywhere, and the program carries on.
I try and get in contact with Riker, but can't.
"Computer. Cancel program."
That's the golden rule; never be in a holodeck program when passing through a cloud. Everyone knows what will happen.
Lola's voice comes through the intercom,
"Two men to see you, Mr Hill. They say they've got a score to settle."
I hear a shot and run outside. Lola is slumped over the desk, dead.
Two tough villains are there. One is a greasy sort with a trilby and striped suit. The other is extremely wide and looks the size of a truck. neither are the sort I would like to meet on a dark night.
"Time to meet your maker, Hill!" says the greasy one.
He shoots his gun and hits my shoulder. Blood trickles out.
I run into the office.
"The safety procedures are off in the program."
"The only thing we can do is let the program play through." says Geordi, "And try to stay alive!"
That's easy for him to say when it's me they want to fill full of lead with their gats.