Monday, November 01, 2010

Jean-Luc And Natalia (Part One)

I am relaxing in my Ready Room, drinking my Earl Grey, and dunking a chocolate biscuit into it when I get a call on the videoscreen from Admiral Johnson.

"Captain Picard." he starts, "The Enterprise will be expecting a visit from a Federation Ambassador shortly. Please show her the usual starship hospitality and escort her to Starbase VI where she is due to be present at an Ambassadorialk meeting,"

"Certainly, sir." I reply, "Do I know the Ambassador?"

"I believe you do." he answers, "She is Ambassador Natalia from the planet Delta, and the mother of your Ensign Britney."

I choke at this information, and my chocolate biscuit disappears into my Earl Grey.

"Are you all right, Picard?" asks the Admiral, "Your face seems to have gone green."

"Err..I'm fine, sir." I quickly say, "We'll pick her up at the co-ordinates you have relayed."

After I switch the videoviewer off, I call Bev to get in here quickly.

"What is it, Jean-Luc?" Bev asks, "You look like you've found out your Earl Grey was a cheap version."

"It's not that." I answer, "We've got to take Natalia to Starbase VI?"

"Britney's mother?" Bev exclaims, "That man-magnet who tried to seduce you last time you saw her?"

"The very same." I grudgingly admit, "Stay close to me, Bev, otherwise she'll have me pinned against a wall in a lip-lock the first chance she can."

I summon Ensign Britney and her girlfriend T'Pol to tell them who is coming.

"My mother?" Britney says, "You were caugfht in a compromising position with her last time, Captain."

"Britney." I try to answer, "You know that despiute the fact that your mother is married to Ambassador Yul, she believes in a 'live and let live' relationship, so she tried to err...get to know me."

"It's true, sweetie." T'Pol tells her, "Your mother is very much the outgoing type."

"Whatever." Britney answers, "Just don't let her...."

"Don't worry." Bev assures her, "I won't."


A few hours later, we are at the rendezvous point. We are all in the Transporter Room.

Natalia beams on.

"Ambassador Natalia." I start, "Welcome to...."

"Jean-Luc!" she exclaims, "I have SO been looking forward to seeing you again!"

Without looking at anyone else, including her daughter, she walks up to me and kisses me on the lips.

Britney and Bev both look disgusted. The next few days are going to be tough!

To be continued......


The Curmudgeon said...

You have such trouble with crewmembers' mothers, don't you? Maybe Deanna's mother can drop by en route to the Ambassadorial meeting and make your situation even more desperate.

Gordon said...

Hmm Yes that would be all we'd need Luxwanna Troy dropping in. Would it cause a diplomatic incident if you erm "confined" the Ambassador to specific decks i.e those decks away from the bridge, Your office, your living quarters and employed a 200 yard "no fly" zone around you just saying Jean Luc..
Actually you know ti could be a lot worse Q could turn up as he so often does at the wrong moments he's been rather quiet probably playing galactic pool with some far of nebulae..
I'd say Nebulae X34-6NFA top left corner black hole.

Unknown said...

Jean-Luc Picard: I can see why you choked on your Earl Grey at this news! :)

Ellee Seymour said...

I hope that kiss was worth it!

Ciera said...

omg...I'd rather deal with Lwaxana!

Linda said...

Hmm, perhaps the Borg Queen needs to get there and put the rest of these trollops into place. I'm sure Bev wouldn't mind her lending a hand!

Rick said...

I've always been a fan of your hairline Jean-Luc.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It's true. Ambassadors can be a real headache!