Monday, December 03, 2007

Enterprise Christmas Party (Part One)

Well, the Party is about to start at last.

Guinan is in her frock, while sorting out the vol-au-vants to the holographic servants in the Sands nightclub where the event is taking place.

Vic Fontaine is giving a few last minute instructions to his band.

"Okay fellas." he says, "Let's make this an event to remember."

Worf walks up to me.

"The first guests are starting to arrive." he tells me.

"Have they used a transporter?" I ask.

"Errr.I don't think so, Captain." he replies, "I believe it was a broomstick."


Novy Book Novy News

Twas The Night...

Oh it did so happen the last year
When I was called to spread some cheer

So again did my friend Santa call
to send some cheer to the Captain and all

To my magic cabinet I did search and find
the very magic I needed to give everyone a good time

'Twas the night before Winter Solstice, when all through the 24th century
Starfleet was stirring, for their guess to see;

The stockings were hung by the transporters with care,
In hopes that Witch Novy soon would be there;

The guest were dancing in the Holodeck Sands,
While glasses of eggnog appeared in their hands;

And Captain in his tux and tie,
Wishing everyone a good time,

When from the shuttle bay there arose such a clatter,
Security rush through to see what was the matter.

In I came from on a broom,
past security I did zoom.

Covering the Enterprise in fresh fallen snow
Decorating the ship from aloft to below,

The halls with lights and garland appear,
all hung by eight tiny magic reindeer,

With a little old driver, so lively and quick,
It is I Novy, here to help good ol' St. Nick.

With a wave of a magical wand and some holiday cheer;
I put up a large tree and decorated it with care!

Boughs of Holly and presents for Fontaine and the band
until Holodeck Sands was turned into a winter wonderland

Presents left under the tree and stockings full
I knew there was only one more thing to do.

My eyes -- how they twinkled! My dimples how merry!
My cheeks were like roses, my nose like a cherry!

Children made snowmen and angels
And I danced and rang my yule bells.

Above the heads did they appear and could not be missed
Mistletoe for everyone and everyone a Christmas kiss

And laying my hand on my hip, I wiggled with ease
Shake Shake Shake Shaking my little HI-NI

On to my broom I gave one more wiggle,
Then away I flew with a giggle.

To the Enterprise I exclaim, ere I flew out of sight,

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

("Happy Winter Solstice too")


After that sparking start, the next guest is Bilbo

Christmas Party Observations by Commander Worf

Sometimes it is very difficult to be the chief of security on the
Enterprise. This is one of those times.

While I admire Captain Picard and am proud to serve with such a courageous and resourceful leader, I sometimes wonder about some of his rather bizarre decisions, like his insistence each year on hosting a Christmas Party on board the Enterprise.

I do not understand this fixation with Christmas. I understand that it was originally a form of religious observance, which has over time transformed into a holiday dedicated primarily to the purchase and exchange of gifts, the paying of visits to relatives and friends, and the consumption of excessively large meals.

But what particularly concerns me is the Captain's insistence on inviting such a diverse group of guests on board the Enterprise. Although he has managed to masterfully negotiate a temporary truce with the various races he has invited, I am still concerned about the presence of so many alien representatives on board, particularly the Borg and Ferengi guests. It is always necessary to inventory the ship's valuables before the Ferengi depart, and one never knows when an inebriated Borg will try to assimilate his partner during a dance. Two years ago my security personnel arrested a shapeshifter who had attempted to remain on board after the party by
changing himself into a large gift-wrapped box. His ruse was only discovered when one of the Enterprise's children kept pulling on the ribbons, tickling the shapeshifter and causing him to change back to his original form.

The party is in full swing now, with Vic Fontaine singing his latest hit and dozens of couples navigating around the dance floor. I am trying (at Captain Picard's direction) to project an unaccustomed air of jollity. It is difficult, particularly when I am required to wear this stupid red hat with white fur trim. It is insufficiently warlike.

Counselor Troi approaches. "Quite a party, isn't it, Worf?" she asks, stepping out of the way as Dr Crusher and Commander Data zip past, dancing an energetic Quickstep. "Yes, quite,²"I reply. Then I ask if her enhanced empathetic powers detect anything amiss. Troi closes her eyes and furrows her forehead, then looks at me and says, "I sense strong visions of sugarplums."

I believe she is making a joke.

I take my leave of Counselor Troi and cross the room to observe a group of humans of the subspecies Mafiosi. They are easy to detect by their period dress of dark pinstriped suits and fedoras, and their habit of carrying violin cases containing weapons. They are prone to violence, particularly when imbibing alcoholic beverages, and require careful observation to keep them from shaking down the other guests.

"Good evening, Commander Worf."

I turn to the voice behind me and discover the Borg Queen. For the Christmas Party she has made an effort to dress up by hanging various decorations from the tubes in her head. Several of the decorations appear to be made from parts of Federation ships.

"Good evening, Madam," I return her greeting. "I hope that you and your drones are enjoying yourselves."

"Indeed!" the Queen replies. "I am very fond of the music of Vic Fontaine. It is too bad that he is only a hologram, or I would be inclined to plan his assimiliation."

"That would be a violation of the terms of your invitation, Madam," I remind her.

"Oh, lighten up, Commander!" the Queen laughs. "I would not think of abusing Locutus's kind invitation in that way." She steps closer and looks briefly upward. "Commander Worf," she says slyly, "Are you standing under the mistletoe deliberately?"

"Mistletoe?" I am puzzled.

"It is an old Earth custom to kiss the ladies under the mistletoe," she explains, pointing to a cluster of green leaves and berries under which I am inadvertently standing. "I do not believe I have ever kissed a Klingon warrior before."

She closes her eyes and purses her lips.

I start to sneak away when I see Captain Picard looking at me from across the room. He gives me a small smile and a gesture that indicates he expects me to be appropriately welcoming and diplomatic to our guest.

I sigh, pucker up, and plant a warrior-quality kiss on the Queen's cold lips. It is a bit like kissing a fully-charged phaser rifle, not that I have ever done that before.

The Borg Queen eventually steps back, slightly out of breath. "My goodness, Commander Worf!" she says. "I knew Klingons were fierce warriors, but it appears they also make very competent lovers!"

"Of course, Madam," I reply. "Where did you think young Klingons come from?"

The Queen smiles and offers me her arm. "Why don't you buy a lady a drink,
big fellow, and then you can show me."

I believe it is going to be a long evening.


Galen has just stepped forward in his tuxedo.

Well if this isn't interesting... I had received an invitation to the 24th century, then my familiar Shiara told me we had been invited to go with the Briefs Family.

"Why not." I thought...
I could use something other than something dreary or some impending doom or something dreadful.... Yes a Party, a Christmas Party .. something cheery that should do the trick...

So I was told this was a Black Tie affair... I am not use to not wearing my black leather cloak but it is good to dress up on occasion...

We arrived at Vampirella's mansion and then transported to the Enterprise, where we were greeted by the crew and an unexpected guest...

His name is .... Q. Since he seemed a lively chap I decided to go along and have a chat...

In some ways he reminds me of Alwyn... Always ready to play a prank...

Well Q was looking to start a wee bit of mischief and he was looking for an accomplice... Now we Technomages have been falsely accused of being Mischievous I know but we really aren't...

I know you are probably saying to yourself.. I hear a but coming... and you are right... after all... it is Christmas, besides I had a lot of Klingon Bloodwine and Romulan Ale. I also forgot my Oxy Pills... What can I say, never get a Technomage Drunk...

"So who shall we target? Micro Brain..." Q pointed at Lt. Worf... "Riker? Jean-luc? Data? I know how about all of them..."

Downing the 12 glass of Irish Whiskey (by the way never mixed earth drinks with alien drinks), I smirked, "How about we play a game.."

"A Game you say?" Q was all ears, "I like you already!"

"Let's see who can play the best Christmas Prank.." I slurred..

Q folded his arms, "Rules?"

I thought about this, "They have to be members of the crew aboard this ship."

"Prize?" Q then asked...

"Prize?" I repeated, "I haven't really thought about it..."

Q waved his hand, "Let's say if I win.. I get your cool staff... If you win.... I will give you a Phoenix tear..."

Phoenix Tears are large crystals... Highly sought after by Technomages but very rare...

"Deal." I say...

Q announces he will go first... He waves his hand as the Captain is about to sit and he falls in a pile of cold snow....

I look at Q, "Really that is so... How about this.... " I wave my hand and suddenly Worf is wearing green tights and shoes with bells on them.. He looks like the perfect Christmas elf...

"Not bad" Q says and then points to Riker... Riker over to a plate of doughnuts and one leaps out of the pile and splatters like a pie on Riker's face....

"Well let's see if I can top that..." I wave my hand and Data's nose begins to glow red and flash...

Q bursts out laughing, "I haven't had this much fun in... Well a long time.."

Then he goes serious... "There." He notices Deanna about to cut a piece of chocolate cake... He waves his hand and the chocolate cake is replaced by a wood log.. She continues to saw on it...

For a brief moment I am distracted by a song dedication to me... Q looks over my shoulder, "Still your turn..."

So our Pranks continued as I continued to drink...

I heard my familiar call my name and looked over my and everyone else's head.. "Mistletoe?"

I looked at Q and he nodded... "Don't look at me..."

We then see a Christmas Witch shake her bum and then fly off... saying...

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Q and I continued our Pranks and drinking... The last thing I remember was someone named Guinan walking over with Captain Picard and Security... Then waking up to Captain Matthew Gideon calling my name...

"Matthew, I wasn't aware you had been invited to the Party." I manage to say holding my head as I sit up...

"I wasn't, Captain Picard contacted me and Earth Force in the 23rd Century and informed us that you were here in his brig. I couldn't believe it.. Galen in the brig.." My Captain and friend looked at me...
As I tried to stand I realized I had the Phoenix Tear, well I guess I won... the Question is do I want to know what Prank I played to win...?


Now joining the throng of party people is Jana

Here I am at Disney World, and it's almost time for me to report to the Enterprise's annual Christmas party. Despite the fact that I'm in the happiest place on earth, I can't turn down an invitation from the Captain himself. "I'm going to go ride Mission Space again," I tell my husband, who is heading toward the Seas with Nemo and Friends pavilion. "I'll meet you all over there."

I walk around the back of the Mission Space building and knock on a side door. A pimply-faced teenager opens it cautiously. "Jean-Luc sent me," I say. He nods and I slip inside. I hand the kid a twenty, and he ushers me into the backstage transporter room. Usually it's only used to get Mickey from one location to another, but I step inside and feel that familiar tingling as I'm beamed into the future.

I arrive on the Enterprise feeling slightly disoriented, but I guess time and space travel can do that. Following the crowds, I make my way to the Holodeck. I've always wanted to go to Vegas, and from what I've heard, the Holodeck is the next best thing. It might even be better.

Sure enough, I feel like I've walked right into a real Vegas club. The music is cool and hip and I start looking around for a familiar face. There's Reg over at the bar. He waves nervously, obviously remembering that I kept him on the dance floor all night at last year's party. I'll give the poor guy a break this year. I've got bigger fish to fry.

I run into Jen, minus her Horde. She is wearing a sweater she knitted herself. We stand and discuss the finer points of homeschooling, and then out of the corner of my eye, I see Worf. I excuse myself and run to tap him on the shoulder.

"Mr. Worf, hi, my name's Jana, and I'm a writer. I'm thinking of writing a romance with a Klingon as the main character, and since you have a little experience dating non-Klingon women, I wanted to get your input. And then I'd like to talk to Deanna."

Jadzia Dax steps from behind Worf, a mean look in her eye. "And why would you want to talk to her?"

Oops. "Um, you know what, I think I'm going to go get a drink. Yeah, that's what I'll do." I spend the rest of the evening knocking back synthehol and watching people dance. Maybe next year I'll just send my regrets.


It looks like Worf is popular with the ladies this year, and it's only Day One! Jadzia must be displeased!

Here's a sinister looking fellow; it's Hotstuff

My Mom, Vampi loves the Christmas Parties that the Enterprise puts on every year... She was tickled pink when the invitation materialized...

My Dad, Agent (Mirai Briefs) and her decided to go... Originally hearing that Vic Fontaine would be singing she wanted it to be just them, but decided that it would be a family affair...

I invited my girl friend, Shiara ... As soon as Shiara and Galen arrived we signaled for beam up from the small xmas communicator that came with the invitation. We materialized and the Captain and his senior staff was standing there.... JP looked at our group... Mom in the red dress which was Dad's favorite, Justice and Shiara in elegant gowns, and finally Dad, Galen and I in our tuxes..

"Welcome to the Enterprise!" Our Host announced... "And...." Bev gave him a nudge "Oh and Merry Christmas of course.." He chuckled...

Mom Stepped down and handed the crew each a Christmas gift... It was Xmas Orchid corsages for the Ladies and xmas boutonnières for the men... My mom felt it was a nice modest gift...
Mom and Dad exchanged hugs and greetings to everyone and Captain Picard turned to ask Commander Riker to take us to the Holodeck... Suddenly a group of Christmas carolers appeared with someone that JP called Q....

Apparently Q was interested in joining the holiday cheer and meeting Galen...
Q and Galen strolled away and Will showed the rest of us to Sands holographic nightclub...

As soon as arrive we could hear the music.... Dad and Mom started to dance and I asked Shiara to dance...

After a few dances, Vic came over to our table... He spoke to my sister Justice and then they started to dance....

With Mom and Dad dancing and Vic dancing with Justice... It was just Shiara and me for a while... Then we were joined by a couple...

"I am Kira Nerys this is Odo. Mind if we join you.. The other tables seem to be full..." The Bajoran woman asked..

"No please..." Shiara smiled

I put my arm around her, "This is Shiara, it is her first time here. I am HS."

"Nice to meet you." Odo shook my hand firmly then Shiara's... She withdrew quickly

Immediately Kira got defensive, "Problem..."

"I am sorry... Um... I am an amphibious mammal so my skin is very sensitive. Most people don't know this but all living things put off certain energy and vibrations... Trees, Planets, animals, people.... Each vibe is unique to the species or type or life form... I didn't mean any insult I just ... well I didn't expect you to have such a different vibe..." I she blushed, "I am sorry, it's just you are the first to have that vibe..."

He nodded, "Yes probably because I am a changeling."

I could see his date looking for an empty table... "Changeling? Is that anything like a, " Shiara lite up, "Shapeshifter?"

"Yes" Odo stated dryly...

"Me too... I mean I am not a changeling but I am a Shapeshifter... A Therianthrope to be more accurate.." My date smiled...

"Really?" Odo lite up with interest as well... They began ask each other tons of questions... Odo in his natural state is liquid protoplasm and Shiara is a Dragon... While they talked on the different ways in which their physiology allowed them to change I turned to Kira... "by the way I am a Devil"

"I was wondering...." She seemed a bit not sure of me...

I smiled, "Oh I am good.."

"That's nice." She stated with a force smile...

Since Odo and Shiara decided to play who can change in the best shape I and the lovely Nerys danced...

As the night grew to an end.. I returned to my lovely girlfriend and we had one last dance outside under a holographic moon...
We looked up at the sound of bells and magically mistletoe appeared...

"Galen.." Shiara sighed and then we heard a giggle and saw a little woman wiggle her HI-NI and say...

"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good-night."

Shiara and I then kissed...


Day One of the Enterprise Christmas Party is over. More will appear tommorrow!


kenju said...

Whew! That is some fancy party you're throwing, Captain! Next year, I may join you too. Michele says hi.

November Rain said...

enjoyed the Party JP!!!

Anonymous said...

I had a great deal fun and made a new friend

I do hope to get re-invited next year

angesbiz said...

It sure sounded like a great party... but then again... they are always fun with Vic Fontaine swooning the night away!

Happy Christmas Jean-Luc :)

Jaime said...

Great party, Captain!!

Miss Trashahassee said...

Sounds like my kind of par-tay.

Miss T

Serina Hope said...

I am so sorry that I didn't get my post in on time!! With the sickness and then catching up at work I was on overload. Bah!
I am going to be reading all about it though.

Amanda said...

What a party! You've done well to organize this Captain! All your guests are so enjoyable to read.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Awesome party as always :) Merry Christmas :)

John A Hill said...

A great start to the party! Looking forward to hearing more.

The Curmudgeon said...

Off to a good start, I'd say. Still, I too wonder what the winning prank was....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Glad you are liking it! The Party will be stretching to a five part extravaganza!

Mother Jones RN said...

Party on, Captain.


Batman said...

Hm Good party so far.

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Good times, good times. I can't wait to show up, myself.

Or am I there already? I just can't get the hang of this time travel stuff.

Ellee Seymour said...

Wow, what a long post, you have some great writers here. I must dust my party frock now ready for the party.

Paperback Writer said...

That was some party.

Linda said...

Wow - this party is going to have all types - no wonder Mr. Worf gets so agitated!!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ellee, I believe a couple of people have mentioned you as being there.

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