Tuesday, June 19, 2007

T'Pol & Britney In The Brig

Guest Poster: Mirror T'Pol

I'm on my way to the brig again, escorted by the Klingon.

They are so straight-laced here; one step out of place and you get told off. I suppose I shouldn't complain. Back home in the Terran Empire we torture offenders by putting them in the Decon Chamber and playing about with the life support.

The Klingon throws me in the brig. I notice there is also someone else there; a bald woman.

"Hello." I say to her, "What are you in for?"

"I'm Ensign Britney." she replies, "I'm ALWAYS in here, as they say I'm so disruptive. I'm from the planet Delta, where none of the occupants have any hair. I'm in here because I was arguing with Geordi LaForge in the Engine Room. How about you?"

"I'm Lieutentant Commander T'Pol of the ISS Enterprise." I tell her, "I've only just got here after spending 200 years in susunded animation and coming through to this alternate universe. Picard put me in the brig after I told the Klingon that I have better tactical knowledge than he could ever have."

Britney laughs.

"That is so cool!" she shrieks hystrically, "It looks like you and I are going to be good friends."

She reaches below the bed she is sitting on and gets out some chewing gum that has been stuck underneath.

"Here, T'Pol." Britney says, "Have a piece of my chewing gum. I've been eating that since I got in the brig. I wouldn't let anybody but a friend eat some of it."

"Err...thanks, Britney." I reply hesitatingly, "That's really err... cool. I'll put it under my bed and eat it later."

"Great, T'Pol." she continues, "This starship can't handle women like us!"

She's right there.

"That's true, Britney." I tell her, "We could run a far better ship than they could."

"Right on, sista!" she shouts, then whispers, "I hear someone coming."

It is the ship's Counselor, Deanna Troi. I tell Britney that she is Riker's Woman.

"I'm here to check on your rehabilitation, Britney and T'Pol." she tells us, "You both have bad disciplinary records and Captain Picard is eager that you both become responsible members of the crew."

"Did Riker give your permission to ask us, Counselor?" Britney asks her, "Does he usually give his Woman these servile positions."

I laugh out loud as Deanna runs out in tears.

"Right on, sista!" I say to Britney.

I might be in the brig a couple more days as a result, but it was worth it!


The Curmudgeon said...

Alt. T'Pol is already falling in with bad company. But I thought Deanna was made of sterner stuff. How did Ens. Britney get under her skin so easily?

Anonymous said...

It's good to have Britney back again Captain Picard, and I'm delighted to be back blogging again after my break.

Jaime said...

Hey! The mirror ep for Enterprise was just on last night!

Totally random comment...

SQT said...

Yeah, I think Deanna must've had something on her mind before she arrived.

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

is there chocolate in the brig cause if not, no way, i am not going, no sir!

smiles, bee

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Can't you all just get along?

Tawnya Shields said...

T'Pol and Brittney bonding? What a strange pair. :o)

Anonymous said...

Mirror T'pol using slang? GASP!

Linda said...

Ah, I see you took that "horrifying thought" of hooking up T'Pol and Ensign Britney and running with it! I am impressed!

The Enterprise may never be the same again!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

The poor Enterprise...with these two aboard...there might not be a ship left soon!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Linda, you're right; your suggestion earlier had me thinking!

Mykol, obviouslt T'Pol was influenced by Britney there!

Sqt, I thing Deanna was upset at being called 'Riker's Woman.'.

Anonymous said...

Yes Captain, it certainly sounds like you have your hands full.

Nancy Wu said...

Many thanks Captain Jean-luc Picard, for coming visit my blog and leaving a great comment. Yes, so much interesting things can be happened in airport...that gave me thinking of something like "wild moment at airport" meme.... Please come back often and leave comments.

There's a wedding on the bridge of Enterprise, do you know about it? With Borg as best man. (http://adropofhappyness.blogspot.com/2007/06/get-married-on-bridge-of-enterprise-in.html)

Enjoy the show! "Riker's woman". That can touch up so much emotion...:P

Nina Munteanu said...

It gets better and better each time, doesn't it? I had to laugh out loud a few times. Thanks, Jean-Luc!

M. C. Pearson said...

LOL, yikes. What flavor was that gum anyway?

Miss Trashahassee said...

Y'all dissin' my girl Britney?

I think y'all dissin' my girl Britney.

Y'all ought not be dissin' my girl Britney.


Miss T

Real Life Drama Queen said...

OMG Britney in space, well she is a spacey broad. Too damn funny though I am in agreement that I thought Troi was stronger then that.

Anonymous said...

Hi captain I hope you are enjoying today's solstice in your spaceship.

Enjoy your vacation next week, btw.

Unknown said...

And I thought Britney couldn't creep me out more. For someone from the Mirror Universe, T'Pol aint so bad.

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