In the late 20th Century, today would have been described as a bad hair day. However, if I said that phrase to Beverly, she'd have a good laugh, and Ensign Britney would probably yell abuse at me.
A Borg Cube has appeared and the Queen told me that we all were to be assimilated; she would be collecting her for a mission in the Delta Quadrant.
If that were not bad enough, a hole has ripped open in space. We can see into another dimension, which sensors show is poisonous fluidic space.
Both ships are being dragged in to oblivion by the dimension's gravitational pull.
The videoscreen comes on; the Borg Cube is hailing us.
"What can we do, Locutus." asks the Borg Queen in a slightly desperate voice, "Both our ships are doomed unless we can come up something."
The nerve of her!
"A short while ago, you wanted to turn us all into Borg drones!" I retort, "Now you're asking for our help."
"Oh, never mind about that, Locutus!" she dismisses, "This is a lot more important; we need to pool our resources and get out of this problem."
Reluctantly, I agree with her, and talk to Data about what we can do.
"The Borg Cube has powerful weapons and a tractor beam that is stronger than anything we have." he states.
"That is true." concurs the Queen, "It is why the Borg are supreme."
I mumble a few words that I won't repeat here, and ask Data to explain what he is thinking of.
"The rim of the rift is very unstable, Captain." he continues, "It could close at any moment. A large explosion should be enough to seal it. A Borg pulse phaser and a starship quantum torpedo would work well. A tractor beam would hold both weapons until it reached the rim."
"Or blow it wide open!" Riker tells him, "That is a risky venture, Data."
"I agree." says Data, "There is a high element of danger involved."
It's all to complex for me to work out; the sort of problem that gives me a headache. Worf agrees that it is possible, as does the Borg Queen. Eventually, we decide to go through with it. Leave it to the others to sort out.
The quantum torpedo is dispatched, at the same time as the Borg pulse phaser; the tractor beam holds them then it is swicted off just as it gets to the rim. Everything explodes, and we are thrown all across the Bridge.
That's my cup of Earl Grey gone. I need a new Bridge carpet.
The sensors are checked and we find the rift has been sealed. The videoscreen comes on again.
"Well done, Locutus!" says the Borg Queen, "Your android Data has rescued both ships from destruction."
"Now about that assimilation...." I ask.
"Oh, I'll overlook that for a while, Locutus." she smiles, "As a little reward for saving us; Seven can stay on the Enterprise. We will come and assimilate you another time. I must say, your Lieutenant Commander Data fascinates me a lot. I shall be interested in knowing more about him later."
With that, the videoscreen switches off and the Borg ship vanishes.
"It seems you have an admirer, Data." laughs Deanna.
Data looks puzzled.
"The Borg Queen will dissect you herself!" states Seven with her usual non-warmness."
"I think my girlfriernd Jennifer Baxter may take exception to that, Seven." replies Data.
I'm not sure with Data whether he ever tries to be funny or makes a serious statement.