Wesley & Karena's Honeymoon (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Karena

My pumpkin Wesley Crusher and I are married. We have been spending our time at the Starlight Hotel on the planet Gemini II.

The two of us were errr.... celebrating our wedding when the Hotel Manager knocked on the door and interrupted us with a panic.

"The Taarl have invaded?" I ask, "Who are they when they are at home?"

"A most aggressive species." explains Mr Jackson, the Manager, "They have been threatening to invade for years, but now they've only just decided to do it. What they have done is sent a couple as scouts before the main ship comes."



"None of this was ever mentioned in the brochure." comments Wesley drily.

"Keep quiet, pumpkin." I order, and turn to Mr Jackson, "Are you saying everyone is evacuating because two aliens have landed? What if they fail to return?"

"Well, I suppose the main ship will think it too dangerous to invade."

"Right!" I answer, "Wes, where's my spear?"

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A short time later, Wes and I are moving towards where the aliens have been reported.



"Do you think you should have taken a phaser instead, honeybunch?" asks Wes.

"No, Wes." I reply, "I find the thrill of using a spear far more....satisfying."

We get to a point and see one of the Taarl in the distance.



"He won't win in a Federation Beauty pageant." remarks Wes.

"Pumpkin." I say, "You go up to it and talk to it."

"What?" Wes replies, "It would want me for a meal!"

"You're just the diversion, Wes." I tell him, "Leave it up to me. We're a married couple. Trust the person you're married to."

Wes walks up up to the Taarl, and I move in the undergrowth, getting my spear in a good position to aim.

As Wes is in mid cringe to the Taarl, I let go my spear and ventilate the Taarl, who collapses on the floor, dead.

"That's for interrupting my honeymoon." I say as I sneer at the body. Then I look to Wes.

"Well done, pumpkin!" I exclaim, "We make a good team, let's get the other one."

Not long later, I return to the Hotel with a quaking Wes.

"You won't be having any more trouble with the Taarl." I tell the Manager, "Wes and I are going back to our suite to err....enjoy our honeymoon."

Wesley & Karena's Honeymoon (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

My new bride, the amazon Karena and I are on our honeymoon on the planet Gemini II at the Starlight Hotel.

After our altercation with the weird receptionist, we are on our way to our room.

"This room had better be good." says Karena to see as we stride to the suite, "Otherwise I'll be back to that reception and he won't know what's hit him."

I can well believe that.

We open the door and observe.



After a moment, Karena looks around.

"This will be sufficient."

I should think so; it has a sunken bath, sonic shower, jacuzzi, a huge bed and....well the list goes on.



Karena lies on the bed.

"My dearest Life Servant." she starts, "Do you not think....."

"What, Karena?" I reply.

"Well, we are on honeymoon."

"Oh." I say in realisation.


-------------------------------------------------------



Several hours pass....




And then a lot more....




And even more....


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Suddenly the two of us are disturbed by a frantic knocking on the door.

I rush to answer it, greatly annoyed. I almost thought of grabbing Karena's spear.

I open the door quickly; there had better be a good reason for this. I was just....well, never mind what I was just doing.



I see it's Mr Jackson, the Hotel Manager.

"What do you think you're doing?" I ask, "Can't you see the 'do not disturb' sign on the door?"

"I'm really sorry." he answers apologetically, "But we have to evacuate the Hotel. The Taarl have invaded."

To be continued...

Wesley & Karena's Honeymoon (Part One)

Guest Poster: Karena

Having just married my honeybunch Wesley Crusher, the two of us are on our honeymoon.

We have programmed our shuttlecraft to take us to Gemini II, one of the most popular planets in the galaxy for couples on their honeymoon.

I must admit that it was very useful to have the computer plot the course to take us. Wes and I were too busy err.... celebrating our marriage in the back of the shuttle.

"Gemini II within range." states the computer.

Drat. It was just getting interesting. I'm sure the computer did that just to stop the fun.

Wes and I touch down just outside the honeymoon complex. I get my spear and we head out.



"Do you think we need that, pumpkin?" he asks me, "After all, we're on our honeymoon, not a starship Away Team."

"You never know when we'll need it, Wes." I answer, and we head to the hotel.

Once we enter the Starlight Hotel, we walk to the reception. The man standing there looks rather strange, blond, with a moustouche and dark blazer, like something men on earth might have worn in the late 20th century.



"I'm Karena, and this is my husband Wesley Crusher." I inform him, "We are here for our honeymoon."

"I bet you are, I bet you are, nudge nudge, say no more." he answers.

"Sorry." asks Wes, "I don't know what you mean, just show us to our room."

"Oh yes." the receptionist continues, "Quiet room, lots of privacy, say no more, nods as good as a wink."

At this stage, Wes and I are getting a little irritated.

"Look." I say, gripping my spear firmly, "We're here for a quiet honeymoon, we'll have a 'do not disturb' on our door and..."

"Ooooh!!" he exclaims, "A 'do not disturb.'sign....I bet you do, I bet you do, nudge, nudge, say no more...tell me...do you like sonic showers....?

That's enough!

Wes is about to answer, but I leap over the counter and hoist the receptionist up on a peg, leaving him hanging by his blazer. I take the room key off him, and as Wes and I walk away, I turn round and smile saying "Say no more!"

To be continued...

TWQ: The Best Of Summer

Well, summer won't be too long with us. Just a few weeks and the autumn air will come. TWQ (The Weekend Question) is asking about summer this week.

What is it you like most about summer? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* The crisp summer breeze that stops it getting too warm.

* BBQs...although we rarely get invited!

* Blue skies...we seldom seem to see them in other seasons.

*Short skirts!

Now it's over to you...

Wesley & Karena's Wedding (Part Two)

Queen Diana takes her place behind the Oracle of Wisdom in her white robes to start the wedding announcement.

Karena the amazon is standing at the front, in ther battledress with wings added on. Wesley has walked up to her with Bev, who now sits down besides me.



"Everything all right, Bev?" I ask.

"Well, fortunately I had some stress pills with me." she replies.

"You don't look nervous."

"They were not for me, Jean-Luc." Bev comments, "They were for Wes."

"Quiet!" Queen Diana speaks angrily in our direction, then carries on.

"We are gathered here today" she starts, "To unite this amazon with this err..male in matrimony. The two of you will stand before me and put your hands on the Oracle."



Wesley nervously puts his hand on the Oracle.



Karena does it proudly, and looks up into the eyes of her mother. You can see who had the nerves!

"Karena." her mother asks, "Do you promise to rule, take responsibilty and control whenever possible in your marriage, not letting others come between you and your Life Servant?"

"I do!" Karena states firmly.

"Wesley." Diana continues, "Do you promise to obey, listen to Karena and do what she says in your marriage, and not to let others come between you and her?"

"Err...I do." Wesley says, although he looks like he will pass out any moment.

"Then, by the power vested in me as Queen of the Amazons." Diana says with a smile, "I pronounce you Amazon and Life Servant. Karena, you may kiss your new acquisition."

Karena grabs Wesley and gives him a long, long passionate kiss lasting five minutes.

When it ends, he staggers away, a little dizzy.

"Hooray!" yells Ensign Britney, who has come in a totally unsuitable outfit, and proceeds to spray rice all over Karena and Wes.



As the pair get in their honeymoon shuttlecraft, with 'Just Married' painted on the back, an extra amont of rice drops out of nowhere all over it.

"Where did THAT come from?" exclaims Bev.

"Q!" I answer, with a slight smile.

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Editor's Note:

My thanks to Mimi for this delightful Award below:



I'm really flattered by all the lovely things you said in your post.

Thanks again, Mimi!

Wesley & Karena's Wedding (Part One)

The crew of the Enterprise and Rhode Island are all settling down here on the planet Wondawowman, waiting for the wedding to start.

We are all seated in front of the Oracle of Wisdom waiting for Wesley to come in. It's odd here, but on this female-dominated world, weddings are done in reverse, as the male has to come in.

Ah well; each to their own, I suppose.

I'm sitting near the front, next to an empty seat. Bev will be sitting there when she brings Wesley in. I'm lucky, as I'm the only man sitting this near, as I have been duubed Man of Honour in the ceremony. All the other males from the ships have been placed far at the back. The amazons are walking up and down like security, making sure that none of them try to move closer.



I notice Ciera striding in from her latest adventure, pushing people aside and making sure she gets a good seat. She waves at me and I smile back, before looking around at the crowds coming in.

"I love a good wedding, don't you, mon Capitano?" says a voice from the empty seat next to me.

Q. I groan



"Q!" I exclaim quietly, "Get away from here. I don't want you spoiling the wedding!"

"Don't worry, Jean-Luc." he says, "No one can see me except you. I'm just here to see this odd ceremony that humans go through. I have some rice with me."

"That seat is reserved for Doctor Crusher!" I tell him, "Go away!"

"Oh, all right, Jean-Luc." he says with a smile, "Don't be surprised if an extra amount of rice appears on the couple from nowhere, though."

With that, he vanishes, and I heave a sigh of relief.

I look behind me, and Seven of Nine is escorting the Borg Queen to her seat.



"Greetings, Locutus" the Queen says to me, "It is a beautiful day for this wedding."

"Indeed it is." I reply, "I believe it was raining yesterday."

"Was it really, Locutus." she summisis, "Then we are indeed lucky."

I can believe it. I'm sitting here at a wedding making small talk about the weather to the Borg Queen!

Queen Diana steps in front of the Oracle of Wisdom, glaring slightly at me.

"Let the ceremony begin." she announces, "Play the amazonian anthem!"

Female of the Species is played out:

A thousand thundering thrills await me
Facing insurmountable odds gratefully
The female of the species is more deadly than the male

Shock shock horror horror shock shock horror
I'll shout myself hoarse for your supernatural force
The female of the species is more deadly than the male

Oh she deals in witchcraft and one kiss and I'm zapped
Oh how can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast a spell on me
Oh how can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast a spell on me

Frankenstein and Dracula have nothing on you
Jekyll and Hyde join the back of the queue
The female of the species is more deadly than the male

Oh she wants to conquer the world completely
But first she'll conquer me discreetly
The female of the species is more deadly than the male

Oh she deals in witchcraft and one kiss and I'm zapped
Oh how can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast a spell on me
Oh how can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast a spell on me

Oh how can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast a spell on me
Oh how can heaven hold a place for me
When a girl like you has cast a spell on me



Karena stands up, and the signal that Wesley is coming towards us with Bev. The amazonian is wearing a battledress with wings on the back.



She wouldn't look out of place in Ride of the Valkyries!

Here we go. We're ready for the wedding!

To be continued...

Karena's Wedding Preparations

Guest Poster: Karena

As I am getting married to Wesley Crusher in two days, all the wedding preparations are under way.

The Oracle of Wisdom is being laid out in all it's decoration, and my fellow amazons are making sure that their best armour is polished in time for the ceremony.

My mischevous sister Nexa takes me to the top of the Hill of Truth, where we oversee the main city of our planet Wondawowman. Sometimes, I cannot be sure if she is playing tricks on me. She was always jealous of me getting Wesley instead of her.



"Sister." she says, "Our planet will be joyful when you and Wesley get married. It will indeed to be an honour to be acting as Best Woman for you, when the weddings take place."

As we are a female-dominated society, wedding roles are reversed compared to what takes places in most Federation planets.

"Don't forget, sister Karena." Nexa continues, "I shall be putting the pre-wedding bodypaint on you tonight, to ensure that you have good health, luck and fertility throughtout your marriage."

"Just make sure you get it right, Nexa." I reply, "We can't afford to have the wrong symbols painted on, it will look ridiculous."

"Oh, you can rely on me, sister." Nexa answers, in a somewhat sly voice.

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Later that night, Nexa is carefully administering the paint on my back. It is only meant to stay on a short time, but is essential to be there when the wedding service is going on.



"How is it going, Nexa." I ask.

"Just beautifully, sister." she replies, "Those who see it will think it is just right."

Valana, one of my amazonian friends enters the tent. Nexa tries to push her out.

"Whatever are you having THAT on your back for, Karena?" exclaims Valana.

"Why?" I say, "What's wrong?"

"Well," Valana answers, "It's a traditional dragon design, which all amazonians have when they get married, but it's not Elisia, the Dragon of Good Luck and Fertility, but instead, you have Morosia, the Dragon of Misery."

"Is it?" asks Nexa in mock innocence, "Silly me! I'm always getting the two mixed up!"

I quickly kick Nexa out of the tent, and get Valana to adjust the design to show the dragon Elisia on my back.

The Dragon of Misery ought to be renamed Nexa!

TWQ: Screensavers

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Collection) takes a look at your computer and it's screensaver.

What screensavers do you have on your computer? What have you had in the past?

My answer is:

I've always had my montage of Nicole Kidman pictures, which change every few seconds.

Now it's over to you..