Tuesday, November 15, 2011

The Betazoid Conference (Part Four)

Editor's Note:

Apologies again. This should have been in last week. Blogger are playing up.

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

I've got a bad telepathic feeling about what is happening outside the conference hall.

All of the delegates are in total silence, but the room is still abuzz with speeches, as it is all done telephathically. It's like tuning in to a radio with lots of stations going on at the same time. The trouble is, my mind is tuned to another station outside.

It involves Will Riker and Lynne Shelloi, who was my deadly rival as a teenager. She stole all my boyfriends from me at the time, and looks set to do the same with Will.

Not if I can help it. I shuffle off from the back of the hall just as the delegates are going to have a vote on what will be the Protected Bird of Betazoid, the Woody Wood Pigeon, or the Fanta Orangebird.

Emerging into the daylight, I go towards the pool and find Will is not there. I grab the lifeguard, threatening to throttle him until he tells me he went a walk with a 'blonde girl'.

Using my mind to hone in, I start to get nearer, and feel the voices.

"Do you want to come to my apartment, Will?"

"I really can't, Lynne."

Good. That's saved Will from getting two black eyes at least.

Eventually, I come upon them.

"Ah, there you are, Deanna," smiles Lynne, "I knew you were following us. Your telepathy is pretty good in managing to locate us, despite only being a half Betazoid."

"Stay away from us, Lynne." I warn her, "I'm not that weak Betazoid you used as a doormat when we were teenagers."

"From what I heard about you and men, you had 'Welcome' printed on you, my little doormat!" retorts Lynne.

I blow a fuse, and the two of us go into a catfight, with Will standing a discreet distance away. We pull at each other's hair, then kick and scratch. Eventually, we grapple and roll over. I bash her head against the ground underneath.

I'm about to deal the winning blow...at least I think I am...when three security officers come and separate us. The one in charge tells Lynne and I that we can either both go to jail or be expelled from the planet the conference is held at.

"Well the conference is pretty boring." I decide, "So I'm off. Come on, Will."

Lynne gets up, tends to the scratches on her body and starts to go off to her ship, which is in a different direction.

"Beware, Deanna." she telepathically tells me, "I'll get my hands on Will sometime when you're not around. You'd better keep a close eye on him."

I ignore here warning and march off, holding Will tightly, but with a grain of worry at the back of my mind.


The Curmudgeon said...

I find the laughing call of the Woody Wood Pigeon rather obnoxious. So I think I'd go with the Fanta Orangebird if the Large Brown Cokecola Finch and Grape-plumed Nehibird have really been taken out of the running.

You know, I think Lynne's use of donuts may have backfired on her. She brought them to the pool, didn't she? Having eaten the donuts already, Will really had no desire to go back to her place. If she'd told him there were more and better donuts at home, though, it might have been a different, sadder story.

Linda said...

I find it rather sad that as the ship's counselor, Deanna has such a trust issue when it comes to Will. Rather than worry that her high school rival is going to snatch her man away, she should trust that he isn't going to do something stupid and fall into her clutches even if there are donuts involved!

Fly Girl said...

Oh Boy, that does not sound like a comforting ending.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmy, that is very true, Had Will been really hungry, who knows what would have happened with those donuts nearby.

I think the Woody Wood Pigeon is endangered because people shoot them as soon as they hear the awful laughing noise.

Lynne. I agree. Deanna needs to be more trustful.

Unknown said...
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Unknown said...

Oh, God! During morning coffee over on this end, I was laughing aloud at this great line: "Stay away from us, Lynne. I'm not that weak Betazoid you used as a doormat when we were teenagers." I'll have to remember this when I encounter rejection from a Betazoid woman for a date! ; )