Wig

Today, I'm trying out my wig for the first time, It's brown, covers the top of the head, with sides that over the ears. I go to the Bridge.

"Take the Enterprise to the Virdana Colony, Warp Factor Six"

"Yes, Captain."

No one has said anything yet.

I sit in the Captain's chair. Riker is to my right. I can feel his eyes looking at the top of my head. He thinks I haven't noticed, and he gestures to Deanna Troi, who is sitting on my left. I sense his hand pointing to me and then to my head. Troi breaks into a fit of giggles.

"Anything wrong, Counselor?" I ask.

"Er, no, Captain. I'll need to talk to Commander Riker in your Ready Room. May I?"

"By all means."

The two of them swiftly walk into the Ready Room, Troi covering her mouth. A few seconds later, I can hear bursts of laughter in the distance. A little later they both come out, with red faces.

Worf has an idiotic grin on his face; an odd look for a Klingon.

Data looks at me with that puzzled look he uses when his circuits don't make sense to him.

"Captain, may I ask you a question?"

Here it comes.

"Yes, Commander?"

"Why does a human want to wear a dead Tribble on the top of their head?"

I tell him that I was going to have it cremated later. Data happily takes it and goes off to get the wig cremated.

Why ever didn't Data ever have a Tact Mode fitted in?