TWQ: Irritants

TWQ (the Weekend Question) must have had something like this before. This week, we are asking what minor things really annoy you.

What minor irritants annoy you, that some people wouldn't be bothered about at all? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* The photocopier is broken and others just expect it to be repaired all by itself and not report it.

* Obvious junk mail scams that pour through the post, asking us to 'just send £20 and you could win a cruise' or something like that.

* Those who drive right behind  on the road, flashing their lights, even though we are travelling at the maximum speed.

Now it's over to you......

Deanna Troi Brainwashed (Part Two)

Editor's Note:

Escaped criminal Katherine  Pulaski, the former doctor on the Enterprise, has beamed on board a shuttle that Deanna Troi was using to come back from a conference. Using a brainwashing device, Kate now has the Counselor working for her, so that she will create havoc when she returns to the ship......

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Guest Poster: Deanna Troi.

At last I feel like everything is so clear!

All these years, I've been a  Counselor on board the Enterprise. When nI think about it, I could have been so much more.The Federation always held me back, saying I was doing a great job on their flagship. Weasel words! Yes, they gave me the Commander role eventually after I'd been trying for ages. I tell you something, that Will Riker will be out on his ear when I get back. Whatever did I see in him?

I go round and sort out my luggage, taking off this awful uniform. I'm never wearing THAT again! Instead, I change into a tight, low-cut t-shirt and shorts. This is more like it!

Two hours later, I approach the Enterprise and walk on board. Riker is there to greet me.



"Whew!" he says, looking at my clothes, "That's a steamy outfit, Deanna. It's hardly an official uniform, though I wish it was when you wear it. Don't let the Cap catch you like that."

We kiss. Yuk! It's like being in a forest of bristles when kissing him. I lie and tell Riker that I forgot to change in the shuttle.

"You can wear it when we're alone in our quarters." Riker tells mer. There's no chance THAT'S gonna happen, matey!

I change into a slightly less shocking outfit and go nto the meeting in the Ready Room. I give Picard the spiel about how everything went at the Counselor Confewrence, but omit to mention that my mind was opened on the way back.

"Finally." Picard saysa to Beverly Crusher and myself, "I need one of you two Commanders to operate the night shift on nthe Bridge tonight. Whoi wants to do it.?"

Beverly is about to volunteer, but I jump in first and Picard nominates me.

"Very well, Deanna." he says, "I hope you have a smooth and incident free evening."

That's not gonna happen!

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A few hours later, I am in the Captain's chair in the middle of the night in my role as Commander, with a handful of sleepy staff around me. I issue a command.

"Ensign." I order, "Change course to bearing 151.2"

The puzzled minion looks around.

"Commander Troi." he tells me, "That will take the Enterprise directly into the local sun!"

"Nevertheless, do it." I say firmly. He does, then I order the Bridge to be cleared so that I am the only one there.

Quickly, I delete all the other Command voices, put a force field around the Bridge and lock the course so that nothing can be done oputside the Bridge.

It sure is gonna get warm for this crew. Perhaps I should have bought along my sun block and my bikini?



To be continued after TWQ.....

Deanna Troi Brainwashed (Part One)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

The trip back from the Counselor's Conference is a long one by shuttlecraft, especially when all I have to entertain me is the computer. It doesn't serve much purpose and offers some pretty useless suggestions. It's like being trapped in a shop with muzak constanly playing, except on this occasion, I can't walk out of the shop.

Not that the conference itself was much of a laugh. When one goes to those,  I get the impression that every delegate is analysing the other. I must have been given fifteen pieces of advice about what to do! giggle!

Beep! Beep! Beep!

What's that the computer is hollering? I was just about to go into a peaceful slumber. It's telling me there is another shuttle on the sensors, one human lifesign, who is not responding to routrine hails sent by the computer.

Suddenly, there is a flash of light in my shuttle and a woman appears.



"Katherine Pulaski!" I gasp, "I thought you were in a Federation Penal Colony?"

"So I was, Deanna." Kate replies, "But you'll be surprised how easily it is to bribe the guards into releasing me and not saying anything about it."

"What do you want?" I ask, putting on my aggressive voice, "I'll be turning you in as soon as I can."

"No you won't." the former doctor answers firmly, "When you'll be working for me, you won't want to say a word."

I laugh. "Doing what you say? Not likely!"

"Don't be too sure, Deanna." Kate answers, and produces a small machine, "I purchased this off the Ferengi at some cost. It works just once. I can put it on your head and manipulate your mind into doing just what I want."

I sense big trouble her, and rush forward, but Kate stuns me with a plaser. I feel myself tumbling to the floor.

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"How are you, Deanna?" Kate asks, as I wake up.

I gather my thoughts.



"Better than I've ever felt in my life., Kate." I tell her, "Those tiresome Federation rules are out of my head at last. I'm refreshed and feeling great."

"That's good to know, Deanna," Kate tells me, "For a little while, though you'll have to pretend you're that person you used to be until you gain access to the Bridge in your role as Commander, and program the Enterprise on the course we agreed on."

"Are they gonna get a surprise!" I laugh out loud.

"They sure are." replies Kate, "Good luck, Deanna. I'm beaming back to my shuttle and heading away. I'll be monitoring how things go."

With that, Katherine beams off.

Now for some fun on the Enterprise!

To be continued...

TWQ: Wall Pictures

TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks about the pictures you have around your house.

What pictures or artworks do you have on the walls of your house? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Some I have:

Godspeed by Edmund Blair Leighton  (below)



The Accolade,  by Edmund Blair Leighton,
Miranda and The Tempest  by John William Waterhouse
Psyche Entering Cupid's Garden by John William Waterhouse
The Bayswater Omnibus by George William Joy
Lesbia by John Reinhard Weguelin

Now it's over to you...

The Space Rift (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Data

I am currently in the shuttlecraft Galileo, and have been swallowed up by the expanding space rift that threatens the entire universe. The other side of the rift is incapable of sustaining life, which is why I am here. I am about to release an aortic energy field which may close it. If it happens suddenly, I may be trapped here. My positronic brain is under great pressure here.

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The Communications network crackles.



"Galileo." it says, "This is T'Pol on Communications. Can you hear me, Data?"

"Affirmative." I reply, "I am about to release the aortic memory field." In the background, I hear my girlfriend Jennifer crying "I love you, Data."

I flick the switch, and the shuttle starts to shake. A huge energy pulse burst forth. More circuits explode on the panel. I am beginning to wonder if this is a good idea.

"Galileo." the crackly reception says. "This is Picard. Get out of there, Mr Data!"

The reception is worse than digital radio out in the hills, although I manage to ascertain what is being said. I look at my Control Panel and activate the Booster Button. I am hoping that this is not one of the circuits affected, or I am 'toast', as Ensign Britney is likely to say.

The shuttle lurches forward, and it is soom bouncing through space like the roller coaster at the Starfleet Theme Park. The stars are visible in front of me, but the rift gap is considerably smaller. Just in time, the Galileo shoots through and closes behind me.

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"Well done, Mr Data." says the Captain, a few hours later in his Ready Room. "With your help, the Enterprise has managed to save the universe yet again."

"Yes." Commander Riker laughs, "I hope someone is keeping score on how often we do this."

I am about to answer him with a precise reply when Jennifer Baxter bursts in.



"Data, my love!" she cries, "I'm so glad you're back again. I thought I'd never see you again!"

"Nor I you, Jenny." I reply. She hugs me and almost presses my 'Off' switch, "But why are you wearing your black leather outfit? Are you going on a mission?".

"No." she answers with a laugh, "Did you forget the Underworld movie marathon is on tonight? We have ten films to sit through."

The Space Rift (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Data

I am walking towards the shuttlecraft, on what may well be a one way mission for me. A huge space rift has opened up, which may engulf the entire universe. Theoretically, the only way of closing it is to go the other side and to release an aortic energy field which will close it. The problem is that is the other side is incapable of sustaining life, it may shut off my positronic brain, or the rift may snap shut, leaving me trapped on the other side.

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I climb into the craft, but hear screams behind me.



"Data, I love you." says, Jennifer Baxter, my girlfriend, "I won't be able to live without you."

"Jenny" I reply calmly, "Take it easy. I shall return before you know it. Tonight we shall cuddle on the sofa and watch the Underworld movie marathon together. I know it is your favourite."

With that, I seal the door shut, and I observe two security men leading a wailing Jennifer away.

In a few moments, the shuttlecraft is off towards the space rift.



"Computer." I ask, "How are systems?"

"All systems functioning within normal parameters."

Shortly, I approach the expanding rift.



Suddenly, there is a rush of speed, and the Galileo shuttlecraft is pulled into the rift at an alarming speed. Circuits in the shuttle start exploding. Fortunately whenever this happens on an Away Mission, they are never relevent panels.

I am knocked on the floor. When I rise, there is all blackness surrounding the craft, as if it is covered in coal dust. The stars have gone, except for a small amount in the distance. It is my only way out.

The aortic energy field needs to be activated immediately before it is too late.

To be continued....

TWQ: Forgotten Presents

As we enter February, TWQ (the Weekend Questions) asks about Christmas presents that may have been conveniently put away.

Do you have any Christmas presents that you put away somewhere because you didn't particularly like, and couldn't sent them to the shop for some reason? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

 * A book about rock albums that weighs a ton .

* An alarm clock with a buzz that is so quiet, even the lightest sleeper wouldn't hear it.

Now it's over to you....

The Space Rift (Part Two)

The universe isa in a right fix again. The Enterprise has come across a giant rift in space that is expanding at an alarming rate. Sensors and probes have shown that there are no stars, planets or lefesigns within, it looks as if the rift is incapable of supporting life. Eventually, it will grow larger than the unioverse itself and snuff out all life.
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I stand up on the Bridge, and talk to the staff.

"Suggestions, anyone?" I say with gravitas. This is a last resort plea I use when I haven't a clue myself. Everyone looks around, unsure.

It's blank look time!



Seven of Nine steps forward.

"We could launch a bomb into the rift and hope it dissolves the rift."  the drone suggests.

"Hope?" Riker replies sarcastically, "It would most likely increase the rift sixe at a faster rate, like the Borg did when it invadsed the fluidic space of Species 8472."

Seven shrugs her shoulders, if that is what drones can do.

Jenny Baxter gets up



"We need to go into the rift then try and bring the pieces of space...and...and..." she stutters.

"A noble thought, Ensign." I comment, "But as the rift cannot sustain life, then all life on the Enterprise would disappear when we entered."

"Except for me, sir." Data adds, "If I were to take a shuttlecraft into the rift, I may be able to activate a aortic energy field to bring thr rift to a close."

It all sounds confusing to me, but these scientific suggestions always do. Jennifer bursts into tears at this suggestion from her android boyfriend.

"You can't go, Data!" she exclaims, "It would be a suicide mission. The rift might shut down your positronic brain, you might be closed behind the rift...you might......"

"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few." Data states calmly, then looks at me.

I give permission for the shuttlecraft to be prepared. Data says his farewells to Jennifer, who has crumpled on the floor.

He lifts the Ensign up and says to her: "I shall be back."

To be continued after the TWQ......