Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Picard In The Gym

"You're out of condition, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me as she completes her examination in SickBay, "The plain truth is that you are not getting about enough. Sitting in the Command Chair won't do you any good."

"But I go on those away missions." I protest.

"When you think it's safe enough." she snorts, "Otherwise you send some redshirts down to get the bullet. Look, I'm ordering you to report to the Enterprise gym this afternoon at 14:00 to start getting fit. Deanna and I will both be there doing the same and to spur you on."

A few hours later, I approach with my gym bag.

This isn't my sort of thing at all. I'd rather just lie down with a good book and drink.

I enter the gym and am greeted by the exhausted sounds of two women.

"Go-good to s-see you here, Jean-Luc gasps Bev, who looks worn out, but rather alluring in her leotard. So does Deanna. Perhaps it won't be such a bad thing to work out here after all..

I get my outfit on, and am ready to go.

"I suggest you do a few press-ups first, Captain, to get your body accustomed to the heavy work it will be doing." Deanna recommends.

I bend down and start doing about three. Already I am a spent force, but can't let the women know that.

"After that, you can do some sit ups, vault the horse, work on some weightlifting and so on." Bev tells me.

I didn't know she was the descendant of the Marquis de Sade!

Suddenly, Deanna twists her ankle while attempting a complicatred squat thrust. She rolls in agony.

"I'd better take you up to SickBay, Deanna." Bev says while examining the ankle, then calls to me, "I'll have to treat the ankle for the rest of the afternoon. You do all those exercises, Jean-Luc."

After they have gone, I consider doing the rigorous programme laid down. Then I think of something else.

Reading while having a drink in a warm solarium. A much better way to be in condition!


The Curmudgeon said...

No less a worthy than Winston Churchill said, “I get my exercise serving as pall-bearer to my many friends who exercised all their lives.”

Keep to your course and heading, Captain.

Linda said...

Wow, whatever happened to starting out slowly and working your way up? That Bev can be quite the stern taskmaker!

I rather like your final solution - looks like my kinda workout, too!

Unknown said...

This is the funniest post you've featured! Love the accompanying photos! :D)