Sunday, September 23, 2007

Picard On Trial (Part One)

Whenever a ship of any sort shows up on the sensors it can mean problems to solve and decisions to make.

I'm happy just cruising along, spending time in the holodeck and dating Bev.

Still, something is coming on the sensor screens now.



"It is the USS Washington, Captain." Data informs me.

The video screen comes on. The usually cheerful Captain Jeffries appears, but this time his face is dour, as if he has been told that his next tour of duty is to be a comedian at a Romulan party.

"I must come aboard on a matter of some urgency, Captain Picard." he says, "Do not try to avoid me."

We are all puzzled at this remark, but go to Transporter Room 3, where Jeffries comes aboard, with five burly security officers, each of which would give Worf a run for his money.

"Captain Jean-Luc Picard." announces Jeffries with solemn formality, "You have been charged with crimes throughout the quadrant, and so will be arrested. You will face a trial and court martial, which could lead you to be stripped of your Captaincy and imprisoned for several years."

The security officers step forward and have the cuffs on me before Jeffries finishes his speech. Worf steps forward.

"Be careful, Mr Worf." I tell him, then turn to Jeffries, "I shall go peacefully, while my crew prepare my defence."

Bev is wailing away. Jadzia has handed her a box of tissues. Riker asks to know what I am supposed to have done.

"In the last two weeks." replies Jeffries, "The Captain, along with criminals known as Lefty and Fats, and a young woman named Toots went and robbed a number of planets in the Quadrant. They were stopped last week when they attempted to steal the Disana Jewels from Vasra VI. Everybody was arrested except Captain Picard."

"The Captain only committed those robberies because he was exposed to a Mind Altering Device by Professor Kalam." Deanna tells him, "You can't arrest him on that reason."

"Nonetheless, he committed the crimes." states Jeffries, flatly, "And as a result, he must be punished for them."

Riker and they others protest. Though I could do with a few stress pills right now, I put my extra calm' look on.

"Commander." I instruct, "Prepare the defence. You and Mr Data will be very good at that."

With that, I am beamed over to the USS Washington, where I find that they regularly transport prisoners. I go into that wing, and am forced to change into a striped convict outfit.

How demeaning.

I am thrown into a forcefield brig, where another prisoner is sitting.



"Hey mac!" He asks with a growl, "What have they got you for?"

I tell him, but say I was under a Mind Altering Device at the time. He laughs.

"Oh sure!" he says sarcastically, "They all say that!"

After a while, I wonder if I was while in letting Riker handle my defence. After all, he'll get my job when I'm thrown in a penal colony!

To be continued...

23 comments:

Jana said...

Surely this is all for show! They can't really want to punish you! Don't worry, though - I don't think Riker really wants your job.

Anonymous said...

We are all here supporting you, hope you don't have to wear the stipey outfit for too long.

Linda said...

My goodness, I thought they did away with those striped prisoner outfits in the 20th century! How gauche!

Hopefully you'll be out of this pickle soon!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh dear. I didn't think that mob thing could go unpunished. I hope they don't put you in a cell with OJ

Pirate Princess said...

Awww... I always thought Riker was completely loyal..

Unless he's under the Mind Altering Device as well???

Great blog - never seen one in this format before.

Lavender said...

Aw geeze! Can we really trust Riker?

Lahdeedah said...

well

I mean

you do the crime, you do the time...

ha ha ha ha

Batman said...

I think Riker is too lazy to be a Captian.

Vegeta said...

You should find the biggest strongest person in the prisoion and , beat him up.

Black Widow said...

grabs sign (Let Picard out !!!) and starts a picket line

Amanda said...

Riker is behind you....he won't be after your chair.

Unknown said...

I anxiously await the fate of the captain! Wonder if Toots has a hand in all this?

merlyn said...

Oh dear Captain, you never seem to get any rest at all. Did you ever consider taking up an office job?? On second thoughts, I have an office job and it isn't peaceful either.

Hope things get better...don't eat any of that nasty prison food.

xxs
merly

Anonymous said...

Do you need a lawyer I think there is one skulking around Crime Alley

The Curmudgeon said...

Just remind Riker that new captains can't order donuts for their five years; that'll keep him loyal.

In fact, that's why you haven't been able to get rid of him after all this time: He found out about that regulation.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

It looks like the trial will be starting soon. I'm sure Toots will be showing up.

Thanks for all your support. Get those signs made, Black Widow, and you can all start picketing outside the court.

It looks like I'm stuck with Riker. Deanna will be helping him.

Vegeta, do you think that is a good course of action?

MOTD, that would not be a good fate.

Ellee, I think striped prison outfits are back in fashion in the 24th Century.

Anonymous said...

Captain Picard, would you like me to recommend a lawyer?

Empress Bee (of the high sea) said...

hi captain! did you say cruising along??? i love cruising...

smiles, bee

Tawnya Shields said...

I think Riker will be fair. Afterall, I am sure he recalls all the times you helped him out.

Flik Sivrak said...

I smell trouble brewing...

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You should have gone with the vertical stripes, it's slimming.

Andi said...

You really don't trust Riker?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Bluest Butterfly, when he gets to be the Captain if I end up in a penal colony, it's hard to.

Jon, I think horizontal was this year's fashion.

Ellee..not an expensive one, please.