Monday, May 31, 2010

Q & Y (Part Two)

Editors Note:

The universe has been invaded by a being from the Y Continuum, who intends to destroy it completely as it prefers it to be an empty void.  Captain Picard, knowing he cannot win against such a creature has called out for Q to intervene.



Guest Poster: Q

"Q!" shouts another member of the Continuum to me, "You'll never guess what has happened. Captain Picard needs your help!"

I nearly choke on the drink I ham having with my girlfriend Q.

"I thought I heard something." I mention, "But as Picard has never asked me for anything in the past, I assumed I was mistaken. In fact I was going to arrange an appointment at the Continuum ear clinic."

"Well, it's true."

"In that case, I'd better get down there." I say, "This sort of thing happens rarely."


The next moment I appear on the Bridge of the Enterprise.

"Greetings mon Capitano!" I say in my usual cheery voice, "What can Q do for you?"

I look at all the Bridge crew, and instead of them looking at me, they all have their eyes affixed to the large video screen behind me. Slowly I look round.

"Oh." I say quietly.


"You two know each other then?" Riker comments somewhat sarcastically.

"Yes." I reply, "The Q and Y Continuums have always been opposed to each other. While the Qs are all warm and cuddly like me, the Ys are vicious and nasty. Not the type you want to meet on a dark night...or at all for that matter."

Picard laughs.

"The Q's warm and cuddly?" he comments, "I hardly think so. That Continuum has been more trouble..."

"Compared to the Ys, mon Capitano." I reply, then turn to Y.

"Shall we settle this over a friendly game of poker, Y?" I ask.


"Oh." I say, some what disappointed, "I hope you hadn't heard about that."


"That is high stakes." I say, "I suppose I have no choice."

To be continued...

Saturday, May 29, 2010

TWQ: Seven Days

TWQ (the Weekend Question) looks at what we've been doing in the previous week.

What interesting or unusual things happened to you in the last seven days? List as many as you wish.

My answer is:

Last Sunday, while we were travelling, a small truck bumped into the back of the car. It just dented the back light, and no one was injured. A witness saw it was the truck driver's fault. The car is still driveable, but we get a complimentary car next week while it isd being repaired.

Now it's over to you...

Monday, May 24, 2010

Q & Y (Part One)

I sit in my Captain's chair as all the senior staff are gossiping about Worf and Jadzia's impending wedding. I  try and keep a starship that has 1500 people in it at the meantime.

"Well of course they were so suited for each other." Jennifer Baxter says to Ro Laren, "It's a wonder the two of them never married before."

"You're right, Jenny." Ro replies, "Did you know it's considered good luck to break a clavicle on a Klingon wedding night?"

The two of them chat away while Deanna Troi sits next to me with her arms folded, clearly in a huff. She hasn't said a word all morning except for the tut of disapproval when the wedding subject is brought up. As she and Worf were lovers before Jadzia came on the ship, Deanna has kept quiet.

As the Bridge crew continue to discuss the coming nuptials, I see something on the viewscreen.

"LOOK!" I say loudly, as I know I'm not going to get any attention any other way, "There is something the Enterprise is approaching."

Everybody reluctantly stops talking about the wedding and turns to the screen.

"What is it?" Riker asks.

"I don't know." I say, as if I am supposed to reel off an answer, "Increase magnification, Mr Data."

"It looks like trouble." Riker comments, "We'd better back out of here..."

"WHAT ARE YOU?" a voice booms out.

"I believe that it is trying to communicate with us." Data says, stating the obvious again.

"We are humans." I say clearly, "I am Captain Jean-Luc Picard..."


"Who are we talking to?" I ask.


I look at Riker and Deanna, who are thinking the same as I do.

"Do you happen to know a being called Q?" I ask


Riker sighs.

"It looks like it's 'save the universe time' again, Number One." I tell him, "But we will need Q's help to do it with."

To be continued.....

Editor's note: This will be continued after the TWQ as time does not permit me to conclude it this week.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

TWQ: Bad Inventions

TWQ (the Weekend Question) looks this week at inventions that were not particularly good, achieved nothing, or you found annoying.

What inventions have you not particularlarly liked for various reasons? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Cell phone tunes. These can be really shrill, loud and irritating, and go off usually at quiet times.

* Speed cameras. Though they were installed to increase safety, they are now put everywhere just as a means of acquiring money off the motorist.

* Automatic checkouts in supermarkets. I much prefer a human to do it!

Now it's over to you...

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Worf's Proposal (Part Two)

Editor's Note:

Worf has decided that he wants to marry Jadzia. After getting advice from Will Riker, he is about to pop the question.

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Worfie has been acting very furtive in the last couple of days.

All of a sudden he decides that the two of us will have dinner in our quarters tonight, and asks me to dress up formally.

He's also asked Alexander to go and see the film Robin Hod, a film about a bricklayer who steals bricks from the rich and hives to the poor twice over.

"What's going on, Worfie?" I ask, "I can always tell when you're up to something, as you usually say something like 'I'll tell you later'".

"I'll tell you later." he quickly replies, "Just be ready at 20:00 in a beautiful dress."

He vanishes out, and I go to look in my dress cupboard.


A few hours later, I return to my quarters. Soft music is playing in the background. Well, sort of soft. It happens to be Klingon festive music that is usually played at celrbratory times. In the background, warriors occasionally cheer.

Worf enters, carrying a huge bunch of flowers. Now Worfie and flowers are not two things I thought I'd ever say in the same sentence.

We sit and eat quietly. Worfie looks at me carefully, then stands up suddenly just as I'm having my bowl of gagh, which are live Klingon serpent worms. The shock of his movement nearly makes me choke on a serpent.

"This cannot go on any longer!" he exclaims, "I must say what I have to say."

"What is it, Worfie?" I say, although I have an inkling of what is going on.

"Jadzia Dax." he tells me, holding a box, opening it and showing a beautiful ring, "I wish you to become my official mate....I mean bride. Will you do me the honour?

I get up, smile, and kiss him.

"I thought you'd never ask, Worfie." I tell him, "I'm looking forward to the wedding."

Monday, May 17, 2010

Worf's Proposal (Part One)

Guest Poster: Worf

As Jadzia, and my son Alexander have lived together in my quarters for quite a while now, something has occured to me that I need to do.

I should ask, and want to ask Jadzia to marry me.

This is extremely worrying. It's so easy in the Klingon Empire. A warrior goes up to his chosen woman and says "You will be my bride.", drags her away and that's the end of the matter. So easy and romantic.

However, Jadzia is a Trill, and I know would expect more than that, and might actually turn me down. The fact that she has been a symbiont in a male Trill body is a little bewildering, but as I am convinced that Jadzia is all woman, I have chosen her.

I have considered asking the advice of others. Normally, I member would go to see the Counselor Deanna Troi about such a matter, but it could be rather delicate, as Deanna and I were lovers before I met Jadzia. There were a few ugly fights between the women before the matter was resolved. I would hate that to start up again.

Commander Riker walks down the corridor.

"Commander." I say, "There is a delicate matter with which I want to discuss with you."

Riker looks alarmed.

"Perhaps you ought to see Deanna." he answers, "Or if it's a medical matter, Doctor Crusher."

"It's not like that." I tell him irritatingly, "The fact is I have decided to ask Jadzia to marry me, and I wish to know the best way of going about it."

Riker smiles mischievously.

"You sly devil, Worf!" he replies with a laugh, "Well I can tell you this, all women love romance, so give Jadzia an extra helping of it. Flowers, romantic dinner, soft music, down on the knee, show the ring and proposal."

"But I am a Klingon warrior!" I protest.

"Well if you want Jadzia." Riker answers, "You'll have to do it."

"Very well." I say, "Thank you for your advice, Commander."

I walk away thinking. First stop, the Enterprise Florist, then to choose the soft music...

To be continued...

Saturday, May 15, 2010

TWQ: Stress Factors

TWQ (the Weekend Question) returns this week to ask about what stresses you out.

What sort of issues will really make you stressed out? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* A heavy workload at the office, when the deadline is impossible to reach.

* When gadgets at home cease to function and have no idea how to repair them.

* Stuck in a traffic queue when an important deadline is approaching.

Now it's over to you...

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Guilty Conscience

I haven't been able to sleep.

Bev tells me to stop moving about, as it's disturbing her night as well.

"Jean-Luc." she says in irritation, and digs me in the ribs, "Do you want me to give you a sleeping pill? Both of us are going to look pretty tired in the morning.

I feel uneasy. In truth, I haven't slept well since my encounter with the Borg Queen when Bev and I visited a beach planet. While she was sleeping, Queenie and I met, and she said that she and I had been lovers during the time I was assimilated and turned into Locutus. I don't remember any of my time when that happened,

As I didn't want Bev or anyone to find out, Queenie agreed to keep quiet in return for a kiss. To be honest, it was rather a pleasant experience anyway!

After thinking long and hard, and taking in the possible consequences, I decide to tell Bev.

She listens calmly, while I try to read the reaction in her face. I'm not sure if she is shocked or not, and if the next movement is a giant slap on my face. I brace myself for the hurricane force anger that is about to come.

Bev bursts out laughing.

"Is that it, Jean-Luc." she says, "I thought it was something serious."

"Well I would call a love affair with the Borg Queen fairly serious, Beverly." I reply.

"Of course, it would be if you hadn't been assimilated and turned into a drone." Bev comments, "There are some things I never told you when we first rescued you from the Cube at the time."

I look puzzled.

"You were strapped down while I was trying to analyse how to turn you back into a human." she explains, "All the time you were droning pun intended."

"What was I saying." I ask.

"You kept saying how you were the Borg Queen's lover and wanted to go back to her." Bev tells me, "Naturally, when we healed you, I analysed you and took your recent memories of your experience out."

"You used short term memory loss?"

"Of course." she smiles, "I thought you would be better off being none the wiser. Trust Queenie to remind you of the incident, now!"

"What do we do now?" I ask, "Can you remove the memory again?"

"I could, Jean-Luc." Bev tells me, "But this time I think we'll keep it in. If Queenie starts threatening to reveal your secret to me, we can just say that I already know!"

"It sounds a good idea, " I conclude.

"Be careful with Queenie." Bev warns me, "Queenie may well be a Borg, but she's also a woman...of sorts. She likes you a lot, and I believe that's how we've managed to get this Borg truce. We don't want it to break up."

"I know what you mean." I say, "Queenie may well pursue me more. I've got to be careful she doesn't catch me!"

"Exactly!" Bev laughs, "Still, Jean-Luc, you've caught me, so let's enjoy it!"

With that, I conclude the writing.

Saturday, May 08, 2010

One Thousandth Post!!

It looks like I'll have to miss the TWQ this week as it clashes with a very special milestone. This is my One Thousandth Post, which has recounted in the past invasions, disasters plus the lives and loves of those on the Enterprise and beyond.

I recall when..

"Hi, Jean-Luc." says Bev as she sweeps into the room, "How are you doing with the post?"

I show her the result so far.

"Is that it?" she says, "I must say, the whole thing doesn't look up to much."

"I've only just started." I point out.

"Hey." she says, "Do you remember when we went to Romantica for your 50th birthday? That was a lot of fun."

I groan. "If you call invading Sea Devils fun, Bev." I comment.

She laughs and leaves me to carry on. Now where was I?

"Greetings, Captain." says Data, "Are you progressing well with your post?"

"I'm trying to, Mr Data." I reply, with a hint of sarcasm that he wouldn't have noticed.

"My girlfriend still talks time about the time she and I went out to dinner with Ensign Britney and T'Pol. It still makes her giggle."

"I know the restaurant banned you all afterwards." I point out.

As Data leaves, I get back to my post. I remember when...

"Hello, Captain." Jadzia Dax popes up, "Hope you're doing well with that post. Don't forget to remind them of the time Worfie and I went to Bentlins Holiday Camp. It was really funny to have Worf there."

This is getting ridiculous. Everytime I get to start, someone bursts in and wants me to recall something that happened in the past. Don't they realise...

"Hi Captain!!" shout a duet of voices at high decibel level.

T'Pol and Ensign Britney come in, the latter wearing a ridiculous outfit and hat, plus an eyemask. Whyever did we agree to that deal with Britney's home planet of Delta to wear what she likes?

"Don't forget to tell the story about when the two of us went out with Data and Jennifer." T'Pol says to me.

"I've already done that." I reply with a smile.

"Oh." Britney muses, "Don't forget when T'Pol, Karena and I went undercover amongst the Virago female tribe. We made a lot of enemies that day.

The two of them stroll out, singing away, when Seven walks in.

"I suppose you have some story you want me to tell as well?" I ask.

She puts a list of papers in front of me.

"These are requests some people wish you to recall." she states. "You will do so."

Without further mention she strides out and I start to examine the papers.

Firstly Riker and Deanna want to mention the time a hypnotic sleeper message turned them into criminals and they took over the shep. They would remember that!

Wesley and Karena want me to talk about their wedding day.

This is like a request show on galactic radio!

Seven of Nine reminds me of the time she was accused of a crime she did not commit and was put on Death Row.

Ro Laren rcalls her trip to a dating agency.

Geordi mentions his entering a DJ competition.

The Borg Queen sends a message via Seven recalling when the Borg went bankrupt and she had to go bargain hunting.

Another message appears magically in my hand. It's printed on Q Continuum notepaper. It says "Mon Capitano, tell them what happened when the Continuum punished me by sending me to stay on the Enterprise."

What about me? No one asks what I recall. It's so unfair.

When filming took place on the Enterprise, it let to me getting annoyed with the director, Steven Spolberg.

The time I was turned into a criminal by a machine is something I'd rather forget!

The subsequent trial was an ordeal as well. Thankfully it all ended happily.

My relationshop with Bev Crusher is always paramount. I wrote her a romantic letter once.

Well I guess I'd better get this published. I have a date with Bev coming up, or I have to save the universe, whatever comes first.


Editor's Note:

Thank you so much for being here for this special post, and reading the Journal over the years. It gives me immense pleasure in writing them. I hope you've enjoyed reading them.

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

The Borg Queen's Romance (Part Two)

The Borg Queen and I walk along the beach, leaving Bev sunbathing and sleeping, unaware that the two of us have met. She wants to tell me about the time she and I had a romance when I was assimilated. As I recovered, I had no memory of this.

Queenie get's a choc ice from the ice cream van as we commence our walk. I carry on eating my lime flavoured ice cream.

"It was quite natural, Jean-Luc" Queenie informs me gently. The Borg were going to invade the earth, I was the Queen on the Cube. I was attracted to the newly assimilated person who was going to act as a spokesperson for the Borg in our meeting."

"So you're saying our relation was errr....physical?" I struggle to say.

"Very much so." she says with a smile, "I have fond memories of our time together."

I'm beginning to wish this ice cream had a stress pill in it.

"What happened then?" I ask.

"I was most disappointed when those in the Enterprise rescued you." Queenie says, "Soon after then I realised that we were not going to win, and so escaped in a small craft just before the Cube was blown up."

"Queenie." I in a slightly grovelling way, "I can't let anyone know what happened on the Cube between us. It must remain our secret. No one in Starfleet must know."

"...Especially the redhead." Queenie coments drily, "Very well, Jean-Luc, it will be a secret just between us.. In return, though, I want a kiss now."

My arms hold the Borg Queen's shoulders, and the two of us embrace in a long, long passionate kiss.

A small price to pay for her silence.

Queenie leaves in another direction, and I return back to Bev.

"Did you have an interesting walk, Jean-Luc?" she asks.

"Very much so." I reply with a smile.


Editor's Note:

This is the 999th post. Look out for the 1000th coming next at the time the TWQ usually does.

Monday, May 03, 2010

The Borg Queen's Romance (Part One)

Bev and I are taking a much-needed break on the planet Solarian, noted for it's beautiful sun, beaches and clear tides.

As Bev relaxes in her bikini, letting the warm sun tan her, I decide to go for an ice cream. The wagon has just pulled up.

"Don't worry, Jean-Luc." Bev comments, "I just want to relax here. Enjoy your ice cream."

I run over to get one before anyone notices. The taste of a lime flavoured one is always something to look forward to.

A few momends later, I am one my way back to Bev, savouring the delights of the ice cream, when another voice pipes up.

"Well, Locutus." it comments, "You never asked if I wanted an cream."

I see it's the Borg Queen. She had been wearing her bikini, and was in the process of putting her black uniform back on.

"Err...greetings again." I say to her, "I was unaware that you were here."

"Even Borg Queens have ro have vacations." she says as she finishes putting on her uniform, despite my feeling unconfortable in watching, "I have had a drone standing in as deputy on my Cube while I take a week off. I'm glad to see you here, Jean-Luc. Please remember to call me Queenie when there is no one else around."

"Err, yes, Queenie, I'll remember that." I say, "I do have Beverly Crusher here with me, though. She's just over there, sleeping on the beach, getting a good tan."

The Borg Queen's face looks disappointed at this news.

"The redhead is here? That's too bad." she says, as she reaches up to me.

Queenie kisses me softly on the lips. "I was hoping we could renew our romance."

I get very puzzled at this statement.

"What do you mean, Queenie?" I ask urgently, looking over to check to see if Bev is still sleeping, "We never had a romance."

"Oh." she says, "It looks like the time when you were assimilated has been erased from your mind, Jean-Luc. I'll tell you what happened if you like?"

"All right." I say, quietly, but I need to tell Bev I'll be away for a short time. I can't let her find out about this."

"Bev." I say to her, "I'm just going for a walk along the beach for half an hour."

"Sure." she replies, "I'll see you then.

With that, I walk off with Queenie, eager to hear what happened.


To be continued....

Saturday, May 01, 2010

TWQ: Noises That Annoy

TWQ (the Weekend Question) asks about sounds that you find particularly grating.

What sounds or noises do you find really get on your nerves? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

Hysterically loud laughter, especially when it's about nothing really that amusing.

Tv adverts where the advertiser shouts at the tv screen to get our attention so we have to turn the volume down.

Now it's over to you...

But before you go...

If you haven't, take a look at the previous post, which was my 5th Blogaversary. Also look out for my 1,000th post coming up soon. This is the 997th.