I'm still on trial here, with Riker, Data & Deanna handling my defence.
I have been accused of robberies throughout the Quadrant with a criminal gang. While it may be technically true, I was under them influence of a Mind Altering Device that changed me.
Things are stacked against me here. The Judge, Ephriam Hardcastle, dislikes me intensely, and the Chief Prosecutor, Clarcia Mark, has yet to lose a case. I face being stripped of the Captaincy of the Enterprise, and being sent to a penal colony.
Clarcia Mark steps forward.
"The Prosecution calls it's star witness." she begins, "Tallulah Tortello, known in the criminal fraternity as 'Toots'"
I groan. Not her,
"Hi Johnny!" I hear from across the courtroom, "It's me, Toots!"
She appears in a micro-mini convict's outfit.
"The witness will refrain from calling out to the defendant." Hardcastle says to her.
"Sure, Judge." replies Toots, "Hey, ain't you Ephriam? I remember seeing you at The Blue Flamingo, when I was stripp...I mean doing exotic dancing."
"The witness is mistaken." says Hardcastle sharply, "I would not frequent such lurid establishments."
"If you say so." comments Toots, with a wink.
"Now then, Miss Tortello" starts Clarcia, "Tell the court how you were recruited into the defendant's gang."
"Okay." starts Toots, "It was like this, you see. I was doing my act in The Blue Flamingo, like, then Johnny shows up. I hadn't seen him around before, but he looked kinda cute, if you know what I mean?"
"What did he say to you, Miss Tortello?"
"He says, 'Hey baby, I'm Johnny Picard, and I need a good looking babe in my organisation. Do you want to join us?' I thought and said ''Sure, why not?''"
"Then what happened?"
"We go and see the rest of his gang." says Toots, "That's Fats & Lefty. Johnny says that I can be the glamour in distracting the saps, then he and they boys can move in and take the dough. I get to be his moll as well. All was going well until SHE shows up."
Toots is pointing at Bev, who is glaring at Toots with the kind of look that a Klingon would give at a big party when they find that that comedian they have booked has turned out to be a Romulan.
"You are referring to Dr Beverly Crusher, who was sent there undercover to capture the gang? asks Clarcia.
"Yeah." confirms Toots, "That redhead was a stooolpigeon. I never liked her. As soon as she arrived, Johnny dumps me and makes her his moll."
"You and she had a fight?"
"Yeah." answers Toots, "But she plays dirt, like, and manages to beat me. As a result, the gang goes off and gets arrested. Johnny manages to convince them he is alright though."
"Thank you, Miss Tortello." says Clarcia, and indicates to Riker that she is his witness. He gets up.
"Now then Miss Tortello..."
"Hey, I like a man with a beard." she answers, "They are always so masculine."
Deanna looks like she is going to blow a fuse in a moment. Neither she nor Bev are fond of Toots right now.
"Miss Tortello, please...if I may."
"Anytime, sugar." she answers sweetly.
This leaves Riker a little out of sorts. Deanna gets up, steps forward in a kind of 'leave this to me.' stride.
"Miss Tortello.." she starts, "Is it true that you are being let off your criminal actions for giving testimony?"
"Well... yeah" she answers, as if her hand has been caught in the cookie jar.
"Are you not just angry at the defendant for dumping you in favour of Beverly Crusher."
"Well, sure I was angry, but that's not Johnny's fault, it was the Crusher woman."
"The man you know as 'Johnny Picard.' asks Deanna, "Though he has been identified in this room, does he act like the man you knew."
"Nah, " she answers. "He sounds like a completely different person."
Deanna has a satisfied smile, and excuses Toots, who winks at me, and then Judge Hardcastle.
"That concludes the case for the Prosecution." states Clarcia.
Riker will start with the Defence next.
To be continued...