Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Picard The Criminal (Part Five)

Author's note:

See Parts One to Four for the background to this story.


The boys and I are on the way in the shuttlecraft to Vasra VI where we are going to grab the Disana Jewels. They are on exhibition there.

This will be our biggest job of all. When we finish this, I reckon we can all live a live of luxury from then on.

Toots has strangely disappeared, and joining us as my moll is Beverly.

What a babe!


"We'll be arriving at Vasra VI in 30 minutes, boss." Lefty tells me, "Those pure saps ain't gonna know what's hit them!"

"That's right, Lefty." agrees Fats.

Beverly walks up to me. She has her large hat on, short skirt, fishnet stockings and stiletto heels.

"We make a great team, Johnny." she says softly, "I'm glad you picked me as your moll."

"There's no one else, baby. You've got great gams with those fishnets." I tell her, "After this heist, we'll be as famous as Bonnie and Hardy."

"You mean Bonnie and Clyde, sugar?" Bev replies, and then kisses me. What a hot number!

"Yeah, sure, baby." I say with a smile.

A little while later, we are in orbit, and we all beam down.

"Now you all know what to do." I tell them, "Bev is gonna go in, distract the guards, and we'll rush in with out tommy gun phasers and take over the joint."

We all watch from outside as Bev strolls in. The guards look in and stare at her. She drops her purse, and bends down to pick it up, revealing more of her fishnet legs. The guards are all looking at her. What saps! That's the signal.

We all rush in.

"Okay, this is a hold-up!" I shout, "No one move or they are gonna get plugged."

The guards turn to look at me. They look familiar.

"Good evening, Captain" says one of them. It's Data.

"Hello, Captain." another says. Riker.

"It is a good day to be apprehended, Captain." Worf. Our tommy gun phasers fail to go off. What's happened to them?

Beverly whispers in my ear.

"Time to get you restored, Jean-Luc"

She administers a hypospray and things go black.


I wake up with a splitting headache; I am on the Enterprise. Riight now, my mind feels like it's been taken apart and put back together.

"Everything is alright again." declares Professor Kalam, "The Mind Altering Device shows that the Captain's brain wave patterns are back to normal."

Right now, I feel like knocking the Professor into the middle of the next stardate for turning me into a criminal, but that would cause more trouble. I restrain myself and thank him for correcting the problem.

Riker tells me that Toots has been picked up on the planet and arrested, as have Lefty and Fats.
After he and Kalam have gone, Beverly enters.

"Jean-Luc." she says, "I'm sorry for deceiving you when being your moll."

"That's alright, Bev." I reply, "I rather liked your outfit."

"I can always wear it again." Bev whispers softly, "The Enterprise cinema is showing The Roaring Twenties tonight.

"Don't forget the fishnets and stockings!" I add, "You DO have great gams, Bev!"


The Curmudgeon said...

I think if you'd hauled off and popped the professor in the snout you might have been able to blame it on the residual effects of the mind alteration.

Keep that in mind for next time, eh, "Johnny"?

A Army Of (Cl)One said...

Yeah! Bev saved the day. Picard is back to normal.

You don't by any chance have a picture of Bev bending over, do you?

Mr Farty said...

That Bev is one cute moll!

Anonymous said...

I missed you lots in my abscence dear friend!

Linda said...

All's well that ends well and I've got hand it to Bev, she's one smart cookie!

Nice to have you back to normal, Captain! Enjoy the movie!

Jana said...

You showed tremendous restraint, Jean-Luc - I'd have decked the guy.

Ellee said...

Hey fishnets and stockings, this is a very "adult" spaceship. Glad to hear it ended so well.

Lavender said...

Hahaha! What a smooth operation - Hip Hip Hooray - we have our Captain back! Wonder how I could get issued a Tommy gun Phaser - could be terribly handy :) Great story!

dragonflyfilly said...

GAMS!!! - ???? you old RAKE you!

Titania Starlight said...

Behind every great man stands a great woman with fishnet stockings. :o)~

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Ah fishnets, is there anything they can't do?

Barbara said...

Together in the end. Great story.

Lahdeedah said...

I was hoping they'd at least get the jewels!

Batman said...

fishnets the cause of and solution to all man's problems.

mar said...

Quickly dropping by to say hello, Captain!

Anonymous said...

yes Bev does have great legs

Anonymous said...

I wonder how Durena would look in fishnets

Justice said...

glad your back to normal JP

Bilbo said...

Bonnie and Hardy??!! That was the best line in the whole story! Great story...now let's talk about Counsellor Troi in those fishnets, eh...?

Amanda said...

Ah...saved by the crew.

Today's story taught me a new word 'Gams'. Didn't know that one.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Ah..it's been awhile since I heard "gams"

Tee hee!

Ellee said...

Hi captain, just called in for the next instalment.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Amanda, 'gams' is old 1920's gamgster speak of legs, if you hadn't gathered.

Bilbo, you want Deanna in fishnets? Soon you'll want all the Trek women wearing them.

Lahdeedah, it seems you want to be in the gang!

Jon, apparently not.

Ellee, fishnet stockings are always a good diversion.

Dragonflyfilly, it's only naturally that as a '20's gangster, gams would be mentioned.

Titania, good thought there.

Dari, great to hear from you again.

Tak, sorry I don't have a picture of Bev bending over. I would have uased that!

dragonflyfilly said...

gams! - i know i know...i was just having a jesty go at you!!!

cheers for now,

Mother Jones RN said...

Bev rocks!

Chris C said...

Completely off-topic, but I just wanted to let you all here know my Star Trek parody is published. It is called "Star Trek XXXVI" and is a tale or revenge and redemption, good versus evil, and meerkats.

I know Jean-Luc was looking forward to reading it and I am sure the rest of you will enjoy it as well. :)

Random Magus said...

Great end although I'll miss the 'evil' side of the captain.

John said...

Wonderful story... and I believe that perhaps Capt. Janeway has also been seen on the holodeck in fishnet stockings!

eastcoastlife said...

awww... The good old Captain is back. I was expecting him to do more bad things. I love a bad man. hehe.....

Anonymous said...

Wonder what Scotty would look like in fishnets !!!!

mrsmogul said...

I always laugh at the word gams. Roaring 20's must be like prehistoric dinosaur times for them!

Jana said...

Jean-Luc, I just gave you an award! Come check it out!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jana, thanks for the Award. I'll check it out.

Mrs M, 'gams' is a great word.

ECL, you have an evil streak.

Chris, that was a super post you wrote.

John, have you been thinking about Kathryn Janeway in fishnets?

Leon said...

What are "gams?" Boobs? And how come the Enterprise is using Windows XP and not LCARS?

Chris C said...

Thanks a lot! :)

As I said before, it was the inspiration of one of your weekend questions.

That was one hell of a fun one to write. It took me like a week of polishing though. But it was worth it. :)

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