Sunday, September 30, 2007

Picard On Trial (Part Four)

I hope Riker, Data and Deanna are going to produce a strong Defence, otherwise this will soon be 'Prisoner Picard's Journal'.

I'm on trial for the crimes I committed with Lefty, Fats & Toots while under the influence of Professor Kalam's Mmind Altering Device. The Chief Prosecutor Clarcia Mark is making things look bad for me. Even the Judge, Ephriam Hardcastle doesn't like me.


Riker opens for the defence.

"I call Doctor Beverly Crusher."

Bev stands up and goes to the witness chair.

Beverly tells the story of what happened, and how she infiltrated my gang, and how I was affected by the Mind Altering Device.

"Tosh!" snorts Judge Hardcastle, "Machines cannot affect the mind like that."

Clarcia gets up to cross question.

"Is it not true, Doctor Crusher." she starts, "That you are in a romantic liaison with the defendant?" She emphasises the two words.

"Well, we have been on several dates." Bev replies.

"Therefore you would say anything to get Captain Picard...your lover off?" Clarcia suggests.

This leaves Bev red faced and in a flurry. She is quickly excused.

"Doesn't look good for you, Picard?" Hardcastle says quietly.

I see Data, Deanna and Riker talking quickly amongst themselves. They know they've got to come up with something. Eventually. they all agree.

The Judge gets impatient and asks if they are going to call anyone else.

"Yes." says Riker, "We call Professor Kalam."

The Professor enters, along with his Mind Altering Device.

"You invented the Mind Altering Device?" Riker asks him.

"Err..yes, Commander." Kalam replies in his usual bumbling style, "When I tried it on Captain Picard, it turned him into a criminal."

"So you are saying it is this Device which is to blame for the robberies, not the Captain?" Riker suggests.

"Oh yes." Kalam answers, "I was unaware that the Device would be able to alter normal people. I thought it would just work on criminals."

Both Clarcia and Judge Hardcastle snort sounds of derision.

"Are you expecting us to believe that this device can alter people?" Clarcia sneers at him, "I refuse to believe it, "This is just a pathetic attempt by the Defence to explain the robberies."

"I'm tending to think the same." comments Hardcastle, "I'm thinking of sentencing the defendant now, Clarcia, so we can go on our date...I mean so we finish today."

In desperation, Deanna stands up.

"If you think you are so certain." she says, looking at the Judge and Clarcia, "Why don't you try it now...both of you?"

They look a little worried, but they hook up to the machine and Kalam turns it on, just like he did when I tried it.

Clarcia and the Judge look dazed and confused. Slowly, they look at each other, and smile with realisation, and run to the door.

"You're right, Prof!" exclaims Hardcastle, "That's a doozy of a device. It DOES turn people into criminals. Picard, you're free to go."

"Yeah, Ephriam." adds Clarcia, "Ain't this great? Can I be your moll?"

"You always were, Clarcia, honey." replies Hardcastle, "Let's get out of this joint and rob a few places."

"You're on, baby." Clarcia answers softly, "I'll have to get some new threads as well. These are far too dowdy for the moll of a gangster."

With that, they are gone.

"Oh dear." says Kalam, "I seem to have done it again."

"Worf's security team will catch them before they leave the building." Riker tells him, "You can change them back then. They will have to let you off, Captain as it happened to them as well. Both the Judge and Clarcia know why you did the robberies."

"Well done, everybody." I tell them, "I can get back to the important business of Captaining the Enterprise."

"....and planning the Christmas party." adds Bev, with a kiss."


Barbara said...

Pretty funny twist to have Clarcia and the judge run off together.

Titania Starlight said...

Now that was an awesome ending. I didn't see that one coming. :o)

Mykol said...

rather clever way of getting off :0)

Vince Briefs said...

Dude! I don't wanna think about clarcia as a Moll!

Vegeta said...

Splog! And classy Porno Splog At that!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

LOL. Im trying to picture Clarcia as a moll. It's kinda hard...unless I envision the 4 legged variety.

Anonymous said...

JP looks like your getting splogged

but at least your out.. Can I come to the xmas party? I promise to behave this year

Justice said...

so it looks like it won't be Prisoner Picard's journal afterall

Amanda said...

I like the ending with Clarcia becoming Ephriam's moll. Didn't expect that.

Anonymous said...

And you were worried

The Curmudgeon said...

Let's hope that Worf's team catches them before they leave the building. Otherwise, you may be forced to go after them.

And will someone take that infernal machine apart? (After you do catch the judge and the prosecutor, of course.)

Chris C said...

I just wanted to let everyone know that in honor of a special blog milestone my column today is open to the readers to create in the comments section. I have a great list of funny topics, and you can write what you like on any of them. It can be a sentence or two. It can be one hundred words.

But it is yours to create. So come on by and have at it.

On a side note nice sexy pics in the comments above me. lol

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Chris, I added a small sentance about a plot in your blog. That spam comment has been removed.

Curmudgeon, you're right. That machine does need to come apart.

Hotstuff, I'm sure you'll behave. I'll have the brig on standby, though.

Lavender said...

ROFL! Brilliant moce to get the device fired up again....thats a relief to have you cleared Captain!!!!

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Hey what if you used that on the Borg? Can it turn them nice? Just a thought.

Linda said...

Nice to see that all's well that ends well as it wasn't looking too good for awhile there, was it?!?

Now, we've got that Christmas party to look forward to!

Tawcan said...

Hi just dropping by to say thank you for your visit to my blog the other day.

Love the story. Great twist at the end.

Merlyn Gabriel said...

good to know that you have been cleared and are free Captain. I was starting to get worried...

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Jon, I think turning the Borg 'nice' might be a gargantuan task in itself. Queens and drones are not the 'nice' sort.

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