Three New Ensigns On Board (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Karena

So my pumpkin, Wesley and I have finally made it on to the USS Rhode Island as fully fledged Ensigns. So has that awful Andorian woman, Tarah, but as I despise the girl for making eyes at my Wes, I don't want to speak about her.

Captain Erika Hernadez sounds a reasonable woman. It pleases me that she is in charge, as I can take orders from a woman much more than a man, being an Amazon, and having grown up as a Princess in a society on the planet Wondawowman where the woman is always right.

Well she is, after all.

What disturbs me is Commander Mark Hathaway. He seems to leer at me in my Amazonian outfit, and tends to wink at me when Wes isn't looking as we walk to where my quarters are. He also leers at Tarah.



Well he can leer at her as much as he likes, but if he comes near me, this spear will go where the sun doesn't shine.

After he escorts the three of us, the Commander smiles at me.

"I'd be delighted to give you a personal tour of the ship, later on, Karena, if you wish." he says when Wes is out of earshot.

"That won't be necessary, Commander." I tell him sharply, "My fiance Wesley and I are more than capable of finding our way around the ship."

Hathaway gets the message.

"I'd better see how Ensign Tarah is getting on." he comments.

"You do that, Commander." I reply, "You're bound to have better luck with her."

---------

While my pumpkin and I are together, unpacking, he seems so excited by it all.



"Gee, honeybunch." he exclaims, "Everybody is so helpful on here. Commander Hathaway seems to like us."

Poor Wes has no idea.

"I'm not sure about that, pumpkin." I say, as I put my battle armour and shield in the wardrobe.
"We could go with Tarah and the Commander on a double date if you like."

"Whatever made you come up with that?" I ask.

"Tarah just sent me a message while you were in the bathroom."

I become enraged.

"Now look, Wes!" I tell him patiently, for men can be so slow, "I don't want you going anywhere near that Tarah, do you understand!"

"Sure, honeybunch." he answers, "Whatever you say."

"Just remember, Wes." I say, "Commander Hathaway and Tarah are well suited. They both only want one thing, and they're not getting it off us."

The door opens and Tarah appears.



"Are you lovebirds coming to dinner with Mark and I, then?" she asks, "He says you can sit with him if you like, Karena."

Angrily, I grab my spear and throw it, but it just misses her, and Tarah runs off.

"I take that as a 'no', then, Karena." Tarah comments from outside in the corridor, "You missed me by quite a bit with that spear of yours."

"If I had been planning to hit you." I reply sharply, "You would have been pinned against the wall. Enjoy your dinner Tarah."

The Andorian looks alarmed and disappears quickly.

I kiss Wesley and say, "Well, we seem to be settling down now, on our new ship."

---------------

Author's Note:

Another cruel meme, this time from Novy

1: Ten years ago I was: Still Captain of the USS Enterprise. No one will promote me to Admiral!

2: Five things on today's To Do List:

A: Having morning cup of Earl Grey
B: Go in the holodeck
C: Do some time on the Bridge
D: Work on Spacebook on the computer.
E: Go on a date with Beverly Crusher

3: Things I'd do if I were a billionaire:

We don't have currency in the Federation, which accounts for me never getting a salary slip.

4: Three Bad Habits:

A: Keep saying "Make It So."
B: Doing the 'Picard Manouvre' of adjusting my uniform.
C: Keep calling Riker 'Number One'.

5: Five Places I've Lived.

France, Starfleet Academy, USS Stargazer, USS Enterprise, Borg Cube.

6: Five Jobs I've had in Life:

Starfleet Cadet, Starfleet Captain of Stargazer, Starfleet Captain of Enterprise, and various ranks in between

Three New Ensigns On Board (Part One)

Guest Poster: Erika Hernandez

"So who are our new new victims....I mean Ensigns?" asks Commander Mark Hathaway, as the two of us walk towards Transporter Room 3 of the USS Rhode Island.

"An interesting trio, Commander." I reply, "One is a male prodigy, the son of the Enterprise Doctor, another is his fiancee, who is an Amazonian warrior, and the other is an Andorian woman named Tarah."

"Fascinating!" exclaims Hathaway, "I wonder which of those two women I'll have as my weekly love interest?"

"Now you can stop that right there, Mark." I tell him, "You should stop trying to model yourself on James T Kirk. I know he's your hero, but the Rhode Island is losing staff because of you."



"Why is it my fault?" he asks.

"Firstly, you take them on perilous Away Missions." I answer, "Some so hazardous, you might as well give them red shirts and paint targets on them like Kirk used to do. That's not all. A lot of the female Ensigns are away for medical reasons. They're on maternity leave!"

"I can't help it if they like me, Erika." he smiles, "You know you're the only one for me."

"You can forget that, Mark!" I reply sharply, "After you went chasing that young Maravian Ensign, you're not coming near me again!"

The two of us get to the Transporter Room. The three Ensigns beam on. I walk forward to greet them.

"Welcome to the USS Rhode Island!" I say warmly, "I'm Captain Erika Hernandez, and this is Commander Mark Hathaway."

"Gee!" says Wesley to the Amazon, "It looks just like the Enterprise, doesn't it, honeybunch?"



"Indeed it does, pumpkin." she answers.

"Hi, Captain." he says to me, "I'm Ensign Wesley Crusher, and this is my fiancee Ensign Karena. The other Ensign is Tarah."

Hathaway whispers in my ear, "I love the skimpy outfit the Amazon is wearing, but should be be waving that spear around?"

"Yes, Commander." I reply quietly, "She is allowed to wear cultural dress and anything that goes with it, which her spear counts as being. See that the crew are made aware of this."

Tarah overhears what we are saying,

"Actually, she's a primative, Captain." she tells me. This enrages Karena who starts to fight Tarah.

I order them to separate, and tell them that I will not stand for fighting on my ship.

The three of them go off, the two women clearly seething at each other.

I can see I'm going to have some problems with those three!

TWQ: Gruesome Gadgets

TWQ (The Weekend Question) looks at those gadgets that you have always found it difficult (or impossible) to master.

What gadgets did you have trouble coping with so that you never used it as well as you could have, or gave up in the trying?

My answer is:

Five years ago, I bought my first digital camera, an Olympus. It was a compact (which I never like. SLRs are better). It came with a very small basic instruction book. The main instructions were on a computer disc. The only way to learn was to read the 200 pages that were on the screen! My annoyance with this made me give it back to the shop where they swapped it for an SLR film camera. I now have this, plus a more user-friendly SLR digital.

Now it's over to you...

The Abduction Of Data (Part Six)

Guest Poster: Data

I am suddenly activated.

I find myself in a laboratory that is clearly set in an underground cave. Next to me is my girlfriend Jennifer Baxter, who looks rather attractive in a black leather outfit, and has a bag of guns with her. She is looking rather pleased.

"Yeah!" she shouts, "I knew I could do it!"

"Jenny." I ask, "What is going on? The last thing I remember is being beamed off the Enterprise and switched off by someone before I could do anything."



"That someone was your brother Lore." she answers, "He took you apart, hoping to spread your pieces around the galaxy, just keeping vital parts for himself that may break down. He faked the calls from the Staros so the Enterprise would go there. Fortunately he didn't know I had read the book 'How to Assemble a Positronic Android.' Right now we have to get out of this laboratory, which has a force field.."

"That could be difficult, Jenny." I tell her.

"Actually, Data." she says, "I was hoping your electrical circuits might be able to help in that direction."

"You are right." I reply, "However a wire routing could either short circuit the forcefield system...or my positronic brain."

"Then we'll have to make sure we get it right, sweetie." Jenny answers confidently, "I did read the 'Advanced' section in the book. Get the top of your head open."

I do what she asks, though I am slightly concerned regarding her ability. I am somewhat reluctant in having my brain short-circuited.

The wire from the door power block is attached to my brain. I feel a sudden sizzle, but in a moment, I am still functioning. Jenny throws a brick through the doorway and confirms that the forcefield is down.

"Right." she says, "It's time to get Lore."

The two of us run through, but he is nowhere to be located. We head toward the exit, only to be greeted by Captain Picard, Doctor Crusher and the rest of the Enterprise crew.



"Well done, Ensign." the Doctor says with a smile, "I see you have Data back in one piece."

"He is now." Jenny answers, and procedes to tell everybody about Lore.

"Well there is no sign of him here." the Captain comments, "He must have seen us coming on his long-range sensors and got away in that Escape Pod. It would have been small enough to prevent us detecting it."

"That is most unfortunate, Captain." I state.

"Indeed, Data," he answers, "Although the Escape Pod has saved many starship lives, it was not created to let criminals get away. I fear you have made an enemy today, Ensign Baxter."

"That's fine by me, sir." Jenny answers, "If Lore comes anywhere near me or Data, he'll be sorry, and end up ventilated."

I think Lore would be wise stay well clear. Jenny is not the sort to be pushed around.

The Abduction Of Data (Part Five)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

I've tracked the abductor of my boyfriend Data to a small, insignificant planet. A vessel had beamed him off the Enterprise, but they could not follow due to a treaty signing at Staros. Therefore Captain Picard sent me on an unofficial mission to rescue him.

Now on the planet, I've negotiated a series of treacherous routes through a cave to find a laboratory, with Data taken apart and packed in a box.

---------------

"Hello Miss Baxter." says the familiar voice behind me.



"Data???" I exclaim"No...it's Lore!"

"Excellent, Miss Baxter....may I call you Jenny? It's good that you know your boyfriend's brother. You should always know their relatives."

"Why did you kidnap him, Lore?" I ask.

"Do I need a reason?" he says, "How about hatred, jealousy? Actually I wanted to take Data apart to sell off a few components to various places so he couldn't be put back together. Naturally, I'd keep a few vital ones as well, in case any of mine blew a fuse."

"You're insane!" I exclaim.

"And all the king's horses and all the kings men couldn't put poor Data together again!" he sneers, "Incidentally, Jenny, I love that black leather outfit of yours. Data has impeccable taste in women. You're very welcome to come with me instead."

I grow enraged and aim my multiphase energy rifle.



"Eat this, metal mouth!" I exclaim.

A heavy bolt of distorted energy shoots out from the rifle towards the doorway where Lore is standing.

However, the energy bounces effortlessly off an invisible forcefield that Lore has just activated. He laughs.

"I noticed that you got your bag of guns off Garla from 'Weapons-U-Like' on Barius IV." Lore tells me, "It's too bad you didn't ask about force fields. Garla was doing a sale on them, and I got this one at a good price."

"You'll never get away with it." I tell him, "The Enterprise will track you down."

"Don't be too sure." Lore warns, "Data's componants will be spread all over the galaxy by then. However, your coming here may mean they could locate this planet. I'll get my token Escape Pod ready. All villains have to have one of these. Garla gave me 50% off the cost for it."

Lore strides off to work on the Escape Pod while I remain trapped in the laboratory with a diassembled Data.

Mmmm...I wonder....?

To be continued....

The Abduction Of Data (Part Four)

Here in the Enterprise, we have nearly arrived at Staros, so that we can sign an important Treaty.

However, my mind is on other things...and it's not when my next cup of Earl Grey is going to arrive.

Data was abducted by a small vessel just as we set off from Staros, but due to the insistance of the Starovians that the Enterprise senior staff be present, and that the Treaty meant a big difference in the future of Federation border controls, we had to go. However, Data's girlfriend, Jennifer Baxter has gone on an unofficial mission to rescue him, although I approved it.

"Have you heard anything, yet, Captain?" Riker asks me as he walks into my Ready Room.

"No, Number One." I reply, "My Earl Grey could be a while yet, as the replicator is being a little troublesome."

"I meant Ensign Baxter." he explains, "We haven't heard from her since she left in the Orion shuttlecraft.



"She is a most resiliant female." adds Worf, who was standing behind Riker, "I found her a formidable adversary in the holodeck martial arts program."

"You mean she beat you!" Riker adds quickly.

"There is no need to speak of that." Worf replies, "The important thing is that we are able to locate Commander Data and Ensign Baxter."

"Agreed." I tell them, "Let's get this Treaty over with so we can find them."

The three of us go to the Bridge where the other staff are gathered. The ship is coming out of Warp.

T'Pol and Britney are both near the back, and are standing with Seven of Nine.



"You should have sent the three of us, Locutus." Seven insists, "We would have brought Data back without a problem."

"I could not do that, Seven." I reply, "You three were deemed necessary to the Treaty, though I can't think why."

It might have made it too easy for us, come to think, with those three going along as well!

"Open a hail to Staros." I command in my best Captain's voice.



"Planet Staros speaking!" comes the reply from a man wearing a weird toupee and looking like he's from a call centre, "I'm Bruca, how may I help you?"

"I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the USS Enterprise." I inform him, "We are here for the signing of the Treaty with the Starovian President."

"You must be mistaken." Bruca replies, "We are expecting no visitors. In fact, the President is on vacation for the next week."

I start to get annoyed, but Deanna breaks in. She is better at diplomacy than I am.

"Perhaps it is a secret meeting, Bruca?" she asks, "Please check with your supervisor to see the details, and you can send us the co-ordinates for beaming down."

"I AM my superior, young lady." he replies, "I am the Secretary for the President here on Staros, and if he had to meet anyone important, I would know about it. Now kindly leave."

The link promptly switches off, and we all look at each other blankly before the truth dawns.

"There never was a Treaty!" Deanna exclaims, "All this was a ruse to get us here."

"...and to prevent us rescuing Data." I continue, "Faked messages that insisted the whole crew be present."

"The only thing that the message did not allow for was Jennifer Baxter going by herself..." Beverly surmises.

Swiftly, like someone who has been caught out by an April Fool gag, I say, "Turn the ship round, and go Warp Nine. We might not be able to follow the original ion trail of the abductor's ship, but the Orion shuttlecraft might have one. If Jennifer Baxter has set up a distress beacon on the ship, it will take us right there.

Let's hope we're in time!

To be continued...

TWQ: Influential TV Characters

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) looks at those characters in a tv series that are your favourites.

Which characters in tv series are your favourites, and are also most influential in the stories. List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

CSI: Sara Sidle (now sadly departed)
Lost: Benjamin Linus (who the whole series revolves around, in my opinion)
Smallville: Chloe Sullivan (a vital character who has saved Clark more than once)
24: Chloe O'Brien (she keeps Jack Bauer in touch with events, even when it's illegal!)
Criminal Minds: Penelope Garcia (what would the team do without her? A great character)
CSI:Miami: Horatio Crane (those one-liners are priceless!)
Stargate SG1: Jack O'Neill and Samantha Carter: (Both essential characters. Jack for his comments and also bewilderment at Sam's technical explanations)

Now it's over to you...

Terminatrix sent this meme.

This is from me:

01] I am scared of Sky.
02]Sky is a terminator.
03] If I were in a room with Sky, I would look for the door.
04] I think Sky should seek another occupation.
05] Sky needs to look at her good side..
06] I want to run from Sky.
07] Someday Sky will be caught by her enemies.
08] Sky reminds me of Seven.
09] Without Sky I might breathe a little easier.
10] My memories of Sky are not good.
11] Sky can be scary.
12] The worst thing about Sky is her ability to wipe humanity off the earth..
13] The best thing about Sky is ther human streak.
14] I am still scared of Sky.
15] One thing I would like to know about Sky is does she have any other hobbies?
16] Sky should go and join a library.
17] Sky worries me
18) What I like best about Sky's blog is her feminine view.
19) What I dislike about Sky's blog is her relentless destruction.
20) My favorite post from Sky is any that doesn't involve humans being killed off..


And this is from Seven of Nine...

01] I love Sky.
02]Sky is so much like me
03] If I were in a room with Sky, I would be very happy.
04] I think Sky should join forces with me to destroy those against us.
05] Sky needs me.
06] I want to help Sky.
07] Someday Sky will be victorious against the humans.
08] Sky reminds me of me.
09] Without Sky I have no friends.
10] My memories of Sky are pleasant.
11] Sky can be good company.
12] The worst thing about Sky is she is not a borg.
13] The best thing about Sky is that she is my friend.
14] I am best friends with Sky.
15] One thing I would like to know about Sky is does she feel the same about me.
16] Sky should go and terminate some humans.
17] Sky and me
18) What I like best about Sky's blog is her victories over humans.
19) What I dislike about Sky's blog is nothing.
20) My favorite post from Sky is the ones with us both in.

The Abduction Of Data (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Jennifer Baxter

Having stopped off at 'Weapons-R-Us' to get enough firepower to defeat a small (no, make that a LARGE) army, I'm now back on the Orion shuttlecraft on the trial of the ship that abducted my boyfriend Data. The Enterprise itself has been forced to go to Staros to sign a Treaty as the Starovians insist on them being there.

Captain Picard has sent me on this unofficial mission, in the hope of tracking down the person or people who have Data.

-------------

It's been no fun in the shuttlecraft. Without anyone there, I'm forced to play idiotic games with the computer in which it will always beat me. I can only win against them if I ask it to. Where's the fun in that. I've got to admit, I think the way it plays Scrabble sounds definately fixed it with managing to get all the Q's, X's, Z's and J's in triple word position.

There is definate smugness in the way the computer says.

Computer victory. Do you wish to play again?

My reply is usually one that forces the computer to say it does not understand.

----------

At last, the trail leads to a small, unknown planet. The sensors show the ship has landed next to some caves.

I land the shuttlecraft next to it and start Data-hunting. I get ready and survey the entrance. Very inviting. I know the answer lies in there.



Armed to the hilt, I enter the dark, dank cave. I hardly expect it to be covered with lights and a big sign saying "Hello, Jenny!"

I am working on the simple premise: if it moves, blow it to smithereens. I got this philosophy from reading the autobiography of James T Kirk, entitled 'The Way I Deal With Aliens And Women."



An eerie sound appears all around...

"JENNY...JENNY....JENNY..." It is Data's voice!

I notice that they are coming from speakers. My sonic disruptor phasers soon make short work of them. A pity really. They would have looked good in my quarters playing the music on my holo-CD.

Further on, there are more noises. It's like being on a ghost train here, as some of the sounds seem so realistic. Someone has installed the fake screams and shouts to scare anyone off. I won't be going on the Starfleet Amusement Park one again, as this is sending a shiver up my spine.

Still, I've got to put those fears aside, and live up to my heroine, Tasha Yar. It's hearing what she said about Data that attracted him to me.



In the distance, there is a light. It's a room. Surely the location of where everything is. Someone had better watch out.

The room is a science lab. I see a large box and look inside with horror.

Data has been taken apart and packed carefully away. Just his right arm is hanging on the wall, and Data's head is on the bench.

I then hear a familiar voice behind me.

"Hello Miss Baxter."

To be continued...

Author's Note:

This story will continue next week after the weekend TWQ