TWQ: Favourite Clothes

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about what you like to wear.

Are there any particular clothes that you enjoy wearing and consider them your favourites? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

* Leather jacket that I bought in Turkey

* Norwegian sweater that I bought in Bergen

* A long blue trenchcoat

* 'Indian princess spirit' Mountain t shirt bought in shop that sold American goods.

Now it's over to you...

Deanna Counsels Ro Laren (Part Four)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

You might well ask why I'm on a dunghill type planet like Realta IV, armed with Jenny Baxter's multi-phase disrupter in the middle of the night. The answer is blackmail.

Ro Laren is with me. She came to me and confessed that the Cardassian woman Malana is threatening to expose her secret romance with the Cardassian Ambassador Gul Vorak. Such a revelation would end the careers of Laren & Vorak, and ostracise them from their planets. Malana wants us to bring 20 bars of latinum to keep her quiet.

We have come without latinum.

-------------------

As Ro, Malana and myself meet in a dark Realta IV alleyway, the Cardassian turns angry.



"So where is the latinum, Bajoran?" Malana says to Ro, "I don't see any?"

"That's because we don't pay blackmailers, Malana." I say, stepping into her line of view.

"Ah, so you've got an accomplice, Bajoran." sneers Malana, "As she has a disruptor, is that the only way you thought of finishing this. I warn you, if I don't get back, I have left instructions for everything to be revealed."

She's clever.



"Deanna, what will we do?" exclaims Ro suddenly.

"Oh, you're Deanna Troi the Betazoid!" laughs Malana, "You're not going to get far reading my mind, Betazoid!"

"I don't need to, Malana." I reply, "I've found out a few things about you. It appears you are wanted in quite a few places. Robberies, affairs with high-ranking Cardassian husbands...or sometimes even their wives, whichever was the most convenient for you at the time, then stealing jewels. You're very popular with the authorities of different planets."

"It's all circumstantial!" yells an angry Malana, "So I did those robberies; there's no proof and I'd get off easily as those dumb judges would let me off.



I raise my skirt to reveal a recorder.

"I'm sure this tape recorded message will be very interesting for the dumb judges to listen to." I say with a smile, "Now listen, Malana. We're letting you go to stop that info about Ro being released. We'll have this recording over you to use if you bother Ro again."

Malana gives us both a poisonous look before reluctantly agreeing. She vanishes into the shadows.

"Well done, Deanna!" Ro says, "That was fantastic."

"The next job is even more tough." I say, "How do I get the stench of this awful planet out of my hair?"

Deanna Counsels Ro Laren (Part Three)

Guest Poster: Ro Laren

Blackmail is a grubby business, even more so when I'm the one being blackmailed!

The Cardassian woman Malana has demanded that I give here twenty bars of the valuable latinum or she will reveal to the Federation, the Bajorans and to the Cardassian government that I have a secret boyfriend, who is Gul Vorak, the Cardassian Ambassador to Earth. Such a revelation would finish our careers and leave us ostricised from both our home worlds. I've been forced to reveal my problem to ship's Counselor Deanna Troi.

----------------

"Come on, Ro." says Deanna, "We've got to sort this problem out. I've done some research on Malana. Let's beam down to Realta IV and sort her out."

"What are we going to do." I ask, still sniffing on my Enterprise-embossed tissue."



"Let's play it by ear." Deanna answers, "Jenny has let me borrow her multi-phase disruptor for the occasion."

"We can't kill anyone!" I protest, "Besides, I can't imagine Jenny loaning ANYONE her disruptor. It's her favourite weapon."

"It's just for protection, Ro." Deanna tells me, and admits that Jenny didn't exactly lend it. She was booked for a long session in the holodeck, so tells me we would be back before Jenny Baxter knew.

-------------

We take the shuttlecraft down while most of the Enterprise is sleeping, telling the others that we are going out clubbing.

After emerging from the shuttle when it lands, we can see it's clearly not des res.

"What a dump!" I exclaim, "This planet really is trashy."

The two of us walk down the main street; everybody looks shady.

"Anybody on Skid Row would have moved out of this place as it's beneath their standing." Deanna says to herself, "Now where's the location in which Malana said to find her?"

"Just up here." I indicate, as we step over a few bodies lying in the road.

The two of us enter an alleyway, that barely has any light. We can't see if anyone is there. Suddenly a wall light is turned on, and I see a familar face.



"Hello, Bajoran." Malana says softly, looking at me, "So we meet again."

To be continued...

TWQ: Sunshine

As it's a major heatwave here in Britain, this week's TWQ (The Weekend Question) is all about sunshine.

When there is a heatwave, what do you like to do?

My answer is:

Usually I hide in the shade, as excessive heat is just too much. I like pleasant sunshine at best. Naturally, when on vacation I look forward to more sun....but not THAT much more!

Now it's over to you...

Deanna Counsels Ro Laren (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Ro Laren

As I pour out all my troubles to Deanna Troi, about me having a secret Cardassian boyfriend and being blaclmailed, I can see her looking longingly at the chocolate sundae, which I've obviously stopped her eating by coming into her office.

Deanna notices I'm watching, so gets her mind back on track.



"You're being blackmailed?" she states, "Whoever is doing that?"

"It's a Cardassian woman named Malana." Ro blubbers, and I give her the tissue that I keep for these occasions. Believe me, they happen a lot with my patients.

"Go on." I urge her. I want to hear more of this saga.

"Well some time ago." Ro sniffles, "Malana helped me out of a tight spot when the Captain nearly caught me in a restaurant with Vorak. He and Beverly Crusher happened to be there at the same time. She said to me that sooner or later she would return to collect on her knowledge. That time has come."

I give her a few more tissues and ask Ro what Malana wanted.

"She said that I need to beam down to Realta IV, where the Enterprise is going next and hand her twenty bars of latinum, or she was going to spill the beans to the Cardassians, Bajorans and Federation."



"Latinum can't be replicated." I say, "We don't have that many on the ship."

"I know." Ro wails, "What am I gonna do?"

"Don't worry, Ro." I tell her, "We'll sort it out, and without the Cappy knowing as well."

To be continued after the TWQ...

Deanna Counsels Ro Laren (Part One)

Guest Poster: Deanna Troi

The one drawback with being a ship's Counselor is all this patient confidentality thing. I must say, there are some things that would make your hair stand on end. I'd love to gossip them to you, but the Cappy would soon know it was me, so I have to keep schtum. Still, the good thing is I get to hear all the scandal that no one else knows about. It's the perfect job.

Right now, it's a quiet afternoon, so I've ordered a giant chocolate sundae from Ten Forward, and am busily working my way through it.

I hear a knock on the door.

I don't believe this. Not while I'm in mid-enjoyment.

"Go away." I whisper under my breath, and hope the person will give up and hassle some one else.

The knocks grow louder. I give up and put the sundae aside, telling it not to go anywhere, as I'll return to it as soon as I can.

"Come in." I call.

The door slowly opens.



It's Ro Laren, who looks round before she enters. She is clearly very furtive, as it looks like she does not want anyone to know she is here.

Now Ro is rather an enigma to me. The others I can usually figure out due to my empathic abilities, but she keeps her mind very much bricked up in my presence. I can tell it's guarded now, like a politician about to be quizzed on something they shouldn't have have done.

"Can I see you for a while, Counselor?" Ro asks slowly.

"Sure you can, Ro." I reply, "Call me Deanna. The sessions I have are always very relaxed and informal."

"Look, Deanna." Ro says, "Can I be sure that nothing I say will go out of this room?"

Hmm...this sounds a juicy one, full of scandal. I've even forgotten about my chocolate sundae for the moment. I think Ro has got a 5 star problem. Just the sort us Counselors love to hear about!

"Of course." I assure her, "I have complete confidentiality in this room. No one, not even the Captain will hear of it."

"That's good." Ro sighs, "I've been worrying over this since my relationship started."

Relationship? Even better! As far as I thought, Ro Laren hasn't been involved with anyone.

"What has happened." Ro explains, "Is that I've been secretly seeing Gul Vorak, the Cardassian Ambassador to Earth."

My jaw drops opens. A Bajoran dating a Cardassian!!! The two races that hate each other the most.

"Though our races are enemies, we are in love." Ro explains, "If anyone found out, our careers would be ruined. Now things have taken another turn. I'm being blackmailed."

To be continued...

TWQ: Useless Catalogue Gift Ideas

TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about adding gift ideas of your own in those catalogues.

Can you think of any useless gift ideas that you would include in those catalogues that come round, trying to persuade we really need them...but never do? Use your imagination!

My answers are:

1: Potato washer....put all your dirty potatoes in the Potato Washer before peeling!

2: His and hers personalised pillows...makes sure your lover does not use your pillow.

Now it's over to you...

Repairing Data (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Geordi La Forge

I'm struggling to repair my friend Data after he ceased to function and fell unconsious. All the diagnostics I've tried have failed, so now I'm contacting the Cybernetic Division of Starfleet. The trouble is, it's so hard to get in touch with anyone there. I have to keep pressing buttons to get to different departments.

------------

"Look, I just want to speak to a human!" I say exasperatingly over the videoviewer.

"That does not concur." says a voice, "It is discrimitory, as only 42% of the staff are human. 10% are Vulcan, 5% are Bolian and...."

"Sorry." I say irritatingly, "Can someone help me here? My friend Data, who is an android with a positronic brain and circuitry system needs your help."

There is silence for a while.

"I shall bring our top engineer over to talk with you."



"Sid!" I exclaim, "I didn't think you were into cybernetic research."

"Not really, mate." he replies, "They were just a bit short over here, so I thought I could get a bit of extra work done."

Suddenly my confidence goes down. Sid fixes a lot of things that go wrong with starships etc, but he has a very 20th century outlook about it, and the tools are rather suspect. Anyway, I tell him what the problem is.

"Sounds like a bit of wear and tear, mate." Sid tells me, "Screw his head back on, and get an electric lead out."

"Err....are you sure this is going to work, Sid." I say, rather worried.

"This gadgets are all the same." "They just need rebooting once in a while. Have you got the electric wire ready? Put one end in his ear, and the other in the plug. When I give the go-ahead, put the switch on....and errr..stand well back."

I pull the switch and there's a blinding flash. Everywhere goes dark and the Enterprise stops.

"What WAS that Mr LaForge?" the Captain says a few moments later, when all the power comes back on.

Data wakes up, a little groggy.

"Sorry, sir." I say, "It needed a little power to reboot Data, who has revived, thanks to Sid."

"Sid?" the Captain mumbles with a groan, "I should have guessed."

"Well, that's it, mate." Sid tells us, "I'll send my fee to the Captain."

"I'm sure he'll love that!" I think drily.