In Sick Bay

Guest Post: The Doctor


"What is the nature of your medical emergency?" I say as I'm switched on. Sometimes I wish I had a different opening line.

Captain Picard is there.

"Doctor" he says, "The Enterprise has been in suspended animation for the last three years. I will need you, Doctor Crusher and Nuirse Delmara to help out with any stress the crew may have from learning that their loved ones have aged while they haven't."

The Captain walks out while I ponder this.

Three years? Another human foul-up I suppose.

Beverly approaches. I suppose she will want to take over the running of everything. Some things never change.

"We could have quite a rush of people, Doctor." she says, "Some of the crew might be very panic stricken about the outside universe ageing while they haven't. Give them a supply of stress pills."

Yes, sure. A stress pill is the answer to everything.

Penelope Delmara gives me a beaming smile and hugs me.

"Oh, Joe!" she exclaims, "It's go good to see you again. Though it seems like yesterday, I've missed having you around."

I must admit, I've missed her too. My personal nurse is the only one who calls me Joe. I must admit, I rather like it.

The first crewman comes in, holding his head as if it is going to fall off.

"I can't believe it." he says to himself, "My wife has probably got a new lover by now."

If she has any sense, she will, I think to myself.

Time to start giving out the stress pills. Before long, I might be wishing I could have one as well.

In The Spa

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

I am in the Enterprise Spa with Annika Hansen and the new assistant to the holographic doctor, Penelope Delmara. After lifting some rather heavy weights, we are all in the sauna, ready to relax.

Annika casts her towel away with ease, as does Penny. Why do I feel reluctant? After all, I'm a doctor. I know what the female form looks like! Is it because they are still so young, and I am um...more mature. Still, Jean-Luc has no complaints! I smile to myself.

Eventually I do take my towel off and put it down, and realise the other women take no notice. They are lying on the benches in the searing heat as we start to sweat.

"How are you liking it here on the Enterprise, Penny?"  I ask the Spanish woman, "Are you getting along with everyone?"

 















"Oh yes, Bev!" Penny exclaims, "Everyone is so friendly. Joe likes me in particular. I think there is a little romance in the air for me."

"Joe?" Annika asks in bewilderment, "Who's he?"

"The holographic doctor, Annie." answers Penny, "He told me he never gave himself a name, so I have said I will call him Joe until he finds a better one. Actually, I think he is going to keep it."

Annika rolls her eyes.

"How are you and Seven getting along?" I ask Annika, "Are your consciousnesses maintaining a steady truce?"

                                                 

"We are starting to get along and learning to respect each other." Annika answers, "Although there are some times when.....anyway, fortunately, Seven doesn't care much for the heat, so is not going to make an appearance while we are in the sauna."

"I must admit, it is warm in here now." I comment, as the sweat pours down. "Is everybody ready for a cool shower?"

They agree and we get up to open the door.

It's stuck.

"What is it, Bev?" asks a worried Penny.

I tell them and soon we are all pushing against the door, screaming and shouting to be rescued.

"I don't wanna die!" yells Penny.

"Control yourself." orders the more assured Annika, "We will be rescued soon."

I wish I shared her enthusiasm.

Ten minutes later, we are still beating on the door. It feels like our bodies are on fire.

Then through the little window, I see a figure passing. It is Will Riker. He sees us and comes to help. He undoes a catch on the door which must have slipped and opens it.

"Thank you, Will!" I say, hugging him, "We wouldn't have lasted another five minutes in there.

Riker looks inside at Penny and Annika, then at me. He gives a discreet cough. Then I remember.

We would have been wise to put those towels on first!

The Doctor's New Assistant (Part Two)

Guest Poster: The Doctor













Though I objected at first to having a human medical assistant to help me in SickBay, I have been rather pleased with Penelope Delmara, a Spanish beauty who likes to be called Penny. She is also an expert with holograms and the rights they have. Penny is a campaigner to increase the rights.

------

"Hello Joe." she says to me, as Penny has insisted that all holograms should have a name, she has given me this one until I decide on one for myself. I must admit, I am getting rather used to the name and am getting to like it.

Penny is wearing a beautiful blue blouse that looks just right with her dark hair. What am I thinking? My programming seems to be going into unfamiliar territory.

"Joe?" she asks "Are you all right?"

"Err...yes, Penny." I hesitantly say, "Is there something you want?"

"I'm off duty now." she tells me, "I'm going to the holodeck, and inserting a beach program. Do you want to join me there?"

"Well. as a hologram I have some extra hours." I tell her.

"Nonsense!" Penny angrily says, "Holograms are not slaves. You have duty times just the same as other life forms. Come to Holodeck 2 in twenty minutes."

A short while later, I enter the holodeck to see a beautiful beach, with ocean water in the distance. The sun is beating down. There seems to be no one around.

"Still in your uniform, Joe!" Penny laughs, as I suddenly see her just to my right, under a sunshade in a black one-piece swimsuit, "We'll have to do something about that!"

Penelope calls up the Arch and adjusts some programming on it. Suddenly, my Starfleet uniform has changed into a pair of tiny beach shorts!"

"Penny!" I exclaim.

"My, don't you look rugged and handsome?" she says, "Come and lie next to me and put some sun tan lotion on my skin."

"I've never worn anything like these shorts before." I say, looking at the only garments I have on.

"Then be thankful I remembered to include them in the programming, Joe!" Penny smiles.

We both smile at this, then laugh at loud.

The Doctor's New Assistant (Part One)

Guest Poster: The Doctor













I'm arguing with Beverly Crusher, as usual, but this time it's about a different subject.

"I assure you, Doctor." I say, "That I most definately do not need a human assistant to help me with my medical work in SickBay. I have been programmed with the minds of the top doctors in Starfleet and am more than capable of handling things myself."

"Sorry, Doctor." she answers, "The order comes from up high at Starfleet HQ. Penelope Delmara not only is a qualified medical assistant, but is also an expert in holographics.2

I grumble, but know it won't do any good. I'll have some wrinkled old crone assisting me when I can do the job perfectly well by myself.

-------------

A few hours later, Doctor Crusher and I are standing by in the Transporter Room to welcome aboard my new assistant. The familiar buzzing takes place, and she appears in the room.

"Ah, hello Doctor Crusher." says the new arrival, in a charming Spanish accent, "I have heard so much about you. Pleased to meet you. I'm Penelope Delmara. Everyone calls me Penny."

Then she turns to me.

"I'm the holographic doctor." I say with a pleasant smile, "Welcome aboard the Enterprise."

"But what is your name?" she asks, "All holograms should have a name."

"I've never got round to it." I reply.

"Well, we'll have to do something about that!" Penny declares, "It's the fundamental right of all holograms to be individually named. I've campaigned for hologram activism for a long time. For the moment, I'll call you Joe until you decide on your name by yourself."

"Thank you, Penny." I say, warming to this young woman.

"No problem....Joe." she answers with a beaming smile as we prepare to leave the Transporter Room.

I think I'm going to like my new assistant!

To be continued.....