Picard Loses His Memory (Part One)

At last, I've managed to get on an archaelogical dig!

There's nothing so good as being able to be around some old fossils, unless, of course, it's seeing a Conference of the senior Admirals of Starfleet!

Anyway, I'm here on Darius VI, where the remains of an ancient civilisation have been discovered. As a special favour, the government has allowed me exclusive access for two days, so no one else can bother me while I'm here.



It's a very rocky area area, somewhat dangerous to be around. This clifftop looks a little precarious.

I think there is a fossil just near the edge.......AGGGGGGGHHHHH!

I tumble over the edge and plummet over the side, hitting my head as I fall. Aren't there times when you were told not to go near a cliff top?

When I hit the very rocky ground and black out.

Eventually, after what seems like an age I wake up. Phew! I have a splitting headache. I'll have to get back to...errrr.. I'm not sure.

Well I'll need to. After all, I am..errrr...I can't remember.

Any ideas? I'd like to know who I am.

A figure approaches me. Perhaps he can help me?



"Hello." I say, "I've had an accident, and seem to have lost my memory. Do you know who I am?"

The man smiles, as if it is his lucky day.

"Certainly." he replies, "You are Agent Picard of the secret Starfleet society Section 31. Your cover is that you are posing as Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Starship Enterprise. In truth, you pass all secrets about the ship and it's crewmembers to Section 31. I am the leader, Agent Luther Sloan. You always report to me."

Now it's all coming back to me. Yes, I'm Captain Picard of the Enterprise. I must admit my memory is a little patchy, though.

Hopefully, it will all clear up after a while.

Meanwhile, I'd better get back to the Enterprise and carry on spying for Agent Sloan.

To be continued...

TWQ: Shopping Irritations

This week, TWQ (The Weekend Question) asks about what annoys you when at the shops.

When you are out shopping, are there any irritations that you don't like facing, or will spoil the tranquility of browsing? List as many as you wish.

My answers are:

1: A child screaming at the top of their voice just to see how loud he or she can do it. Usually the parents don't take any notice, although the sound is enough to shatter glass!

2: The salesman's astonishment when I say that I don't want the extended warranty that goes with the item I bought.

3: Noisy music in a shop that is so loud I can't think straight.

Now it's over to you...

The Romulan Visitor

I dislike being a diplomat.

Nonetheless, I have to play host today to a Romulan senator, who is visiting the Enterprise to discuss peace with Federation and Romulan Star Empire.

This sort of this is usually nothing more than a lot of talk and an opportunity to glean a few secrets off each other. The trouble is, we never get anything off them.

Predictably, I hear a few noises off Worf, who is not exactly their biggest fan.

"The Romulans are not to be trusted!" he says aggressively as the senior staff go to the transporter room to beam him on board.

"I agree with you, Mr Worf." I reply, "But for the sake of diplomatic relations between the two forces, we must keep up an accord, even if only in pretence."

Worf mumbles a few choice Klingon phrases. As I know the language, it is hardly suitable to repeat them here.

Deanna stands with me as we are ready to greet the senator. The Counselor is a good mediator to have around when we have to talk with races we cannot trust or dislike.

The Romulan beams on.



After I do my usual welcome speil, the Senator continues.

"Greetings, Captain." I am Senator Vreenak of the Romulan Council. Thank you for your welcome."

He glances at Worf.

"I heard you had a Klingon on board." Vreenak continues, "What position does he hold here? Does he clean the warp plasma conduits?"

Worf looks incensed, but Deanna, who is slightly irritated moves moves forward.



"Certainly not, Senator." she answers with a somewhat fixed smile, "Lieutenant Worf is Chief of Security and also operates on Tactics."

Vreenak laughs.

"In that case." he continues, "I'm surprised that no one has escaped, or the ship hasn't been blown up by enemies! Shall we go to the discussion room?"

I get livid, but with my temper just about bearable, I take him out of the room.

"You Federation officers are all the same." Vreenak laughs to himselfs, "Very weak."

"Isn't the discussion room the other way, Captain?" Riker whispers to me as we walk through the corridor.

"Yes, Number One." I reply, "But I've decided to hold it somewhere else."

A few moments later, we get to our destination.

"But this is the brig." says the Senator, "Why are we here, Captain?"

"Because this is where you're going." I reply shaply, "As anyone would who talks to my crew like that. We'll visit in a few hours and start talking then. After that, I'll let you out and you can go back to your ship."

"This is a disgrace!" Vreenak protests, "The Romulan Council shall hear of this."

"I'm sure they will." I answer, "Still, you're lucky. The brig chef is doing lasagna tonight. As you're a Senator, I'll instruct him to give you double helpings."

I do dislike being a diplomat. I seem to offend a lot of people for some reason!

Wedding Plans For Wesley & Karena (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Beverly Crusher

Jean-Luc and I are on the planet Wondawowman to discuss wedding plans between my son Wesley and Queen Diana's daughter Karena.

As they are a planet of amazons, they are more likely to want things their way. I suspect they are completely going to ignore Jean-Luc. Men do seem to be irrelevant around here.

----------

"Now then, Beverly." starts Diana, "We'll have to make sure all the guests arrive at Wondawoman on time and..."

"Excuse me...errr...your Majesty." interrupts Jean-Luc, "But had we decided that the wedding would be held on this planet?"

Diana gives him a look of disgust.



"Captain Picard." the Queen says, "You will refrain from talking in what is clearly a serious discussion between two women."

"The Captain does have a point." I comment, "Perhaps Wesley and Karena might like their wedding to take place elsewhere?"

"Out of the question!" snorts Diana, "All amazonians here, whether they are a Princess or not, have a life ambition to get married in the Oracle of Wisdom."

I concede this point. One has to go along with the bride in her wishes as to location. I get the impression I'm going to concede on a lot of other points as well.

"Now." continues the Queen, "Will you be giving Wesley away, Beverly?"

"What do you mean?" I reply in puzzlement, "I thought the bride gets given away?"

"Not here." Diana answers, "As this is a matriachal society, the woman takes precedance, and actions are in reverse to what your society does."

"As long as Wesley doesn't have to wear a wedding dress." comments Jean-Luc. The Queen looks icily at him, as his joke fell flat.

"The process is this." explains Diana, "Karena will be waiting at the Oracle of Wisdom with the Best Woman. Wesley will enter with the parent, who will then give him away, and the service will be performed."

"Who will be carrying out the ceremony, your Majesty?" pipes up Jean-Luc.

The Queen looks at him tiringly, as if it is too much trouble to answer a man. Instead of addressing him, she turns to me to reply.

"I shall be carrying out the marriage service." she states, "As Queen of the Wondawowman amazonians, I have the authority to perform such events, and shall declare my daughter Karena and your son Wesley Bride and Life Servant."

I wince at this description.

"Will you be picking her wedding dress?" I ask casually.

"Karena will NOT be wearing a wedding dress!" the Queen exclaims, as if I have commited a social faux pas, "All amazonians get married in full battle armour with spear and sword."



"Sounds appropriate!" Jean-Luc whispers quietly in my ear.

I feel like I'm not getting anywhere here. The wedding plans are all sorted out by Queen Diana, and any suggestions I make are just cast aside.

"Don't forget Wesley's outfit." Jean-Luc whispers.

"Now about Wesley's outfit..." I start.

"Now that's all up to you, Beverly." answers the Queen, "You can talk that over with him and he can come in what he wishes."

I'm amazed! A concession!

"....As long as it's one of these five designs." Diana concludes, by giving me some typical Life Servant pictures, "All prospective Life Servants wear these sort."

I groan.

"Well that concludes our meeting, Beverly." Diana says, getting up, "It was a lot of fun choosing how the wedding will run, wasn't it. Incidentally, when we chat in the future, try not to bring the Captain. He just gets in the way."

Jean-Luc and I head back to the shuttle, then back to the Enterprise.

I've got a feeling I'm going to have a lot of trouble with my prospective in-law.

Wedding Plans For Wesley & Karena (Part One)

"Jean-Luc." Bev asks me desperately, "I need you to come with me to Wondawowman."

"Beverly." I reply, "I was just about to go on that archealogical dig on Darius VI. It sounds a fun expedition."

"Nonsense." Bev answers, "Those old fossils have been there millions of years, they can stay there a little longer. This is important. Queen Diana wants to talk to me about Wesley and her daughter Karena's wedding."

"That's just it." I say, "She's the leader of a group of amazons. The last thing she wants is a man around."



"You're right, Jean-Luc." She concedes, "But I need the moral support, and this meeting is between the mothers of the wedding couple, and I don't want Diana to railroad me into getting the wedding plans all her own way."

"Shouldn't Wes and Karena have some say in all this?"

"That won't happen as Diana is the Queen." she answers, "Karena has let her mother do all the planning, so I in turn have got to help Wes out."

I sigh.

"Very well, Bev." I say. She kisses me in gratitude.

I wonder how many men have men persuaded into doing something they didn't want to this way?

-----------

Several hours later, our shuttle has reached the planet Wondawowman. I have instructed Riker to make sure there are no wild parties, Ensign Britney behaves herself and that Seven of Nine does not threaten to assimilate any visiting dignitaries.

When we land, the two of us are greeted by Queen Diana.



"Welcome to Wondawowman, Beverly Crusher." she says warmly, "It is so necessary for us mothers to get together so that the plans can be drawn ....what is HE doing here?"

Diana glances in my direction.

"I've bought Captain Picard so he can help me with the planning." Bev announces, "I hope you don't mind?"

"But he's a MAN." Diana says with distaste, "What possible use will HE be?"

"He gives me good advice." Beverly says firmly, "However the ultimate decisions will rest with you and I, Queen Diana."

"Very well." she says grudgingly, as if agreeing to a painful operation, "He can stay, as long as he doesn't interfere too much."

It's good to feel wanted, isn't it?

To be continued...

TWQ: First Blog Visitor & Commenter

For this week's TWQ, I'm asking you to remember when you first started your blog...

Do you remember what the first blog that you actually visited was? Who was your first commenter? If you're not sure, say who you think it was.

My answers are:

The first blog I visited, I believe, was 'Darth Vader's Diary'. This led me on to 'Yoda'.

One of the first commenters I had was Ciera. She is still going strong today, and we are good friends.

Now it's over to you...

Alexander In Love (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Worf

Jadzia and I are still stunned by the news that Alexander has asked his young Career Advisor Tanya out on a date and that she has accepted.

"What are we going to do, Worfie?" asks Jadzia, "Surely we can't let Tanya..."

"Of course not." I tell her, "Though I must admit that on the Klingon homeworld, a warrior can have such interests at an early age."

"We can't allow it here!" Jadzia insists, "Come on! Let's talk to Tanya."

We march back to the office. I'm never exactly fond of these sort of confrontations. I would rather be on Tactics against a fleet of Romulan battle cruisers.

Sitting in her office, is Tanya.



"Hello, Lieutenant Worf, Jadzia." she says.

Jadzia walks up to her and slaps Tanya on the face.

"Cradle snatcher!"" she calls out, "Trying to date a young boy like that."

It's at times like this I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.

"Whatever do you mean?" asks a puzzled Tanya.



"Don't act the innocent with me, Tanya!" Jadzia says threateningly, "Alexander has told me how he asked you for a date, you accepted, and now he says he is in love."

"Oh dear." Tanya replies, "Alexander has misunderstood everything."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well." starts Tanya, "Alexander asked me if he could see me again in Ten Forward later tonight. naturally, I thought he wanted some more help with his career work, so I said yes. He never mentioned that he had romantic feelings for me. Oh dear."

"I feel that Alexander is going to suffer a broken heart, Worfie." Jadzia tells me.

"I agree." I tell her, "It is all part of growing up."

------------

Later, Alexander comes in after talking to Tanya in Ten Forward. His eyes are reddened, but he shows no sign of weakness.

"Are you all right, Alexander?" I ask.

"Yes, father." he answers, "I've decided I'm not really in love with Tanya. She is too old for me. I think I prefer the girls in my class."

He walks off with his head held high. I still hear a slight sniff.

Alexander In Love (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

As Alexander will be entering a new school year soon here on the Enterprise, Worfie and I are taking him along to see the new Careers Advisory Officer, who has dropped in to talk to all the children of Alexander's age and above about what they want to do.

"I don't want to go!" Alexander says stubbornly, "It's boring!"

"You must go." Worfie tells him firmly, "How else are we supposed to forge an honourable career for you, especially if you don't want to be a Klingon warrior."

"I don't like the sight of blood." Alexander says to himself. Worf snorts in disgust.

"You do change your mind a lot about what you want." I remind him, "A while back you wanted to be a ballet dancer."

"Not now." Alexander replies, "I can get hurt too easily from the steps."

I hear another snort of disgust from Worfie.

The three of us enter the classroom where the Careers Advisory Officer is supposed to be. We see a young girl.



"Hello." I say to her, "Are you waiting for the Careers Advisory Officer as well?"

"I AM the Careers Advisory Officer." she answers with a pleasant smile, "Please call me Tanya."

"You look a little young for such a role." Worfie comments gruffily. Alexander, on the other hand, has changed his expression from boredom to very interested.

"This is my first posting as CAO." explains Tanya, "I hope you'll understand. Starfleet like to have young people in this role as they can interact more with those they have to interview."



"Yes." Alexander answers, "Don't worry, you're doing a great job."

Both Worfie and my mouth drops open at this comment.

"My." comments Tanya, "What a smart and handsome boy you have, Lieutenant Worf. I'm sure he'll do well in any career."

Alexander blushes at this remark.

The four of us then go on to discuss possible careers, but Alexander is only half listening. He has his eyes fixed firmly on Tanya, who gives him the occasional glowing smile.

"So you think you might be a writer, dress designer, theatrical producer?" Tanya says, "Well you'll have to work hard to get the qualifications."

Alexander promises he will study hard, and we chat again about various subjects. Eventually, our time is up.

Tanya bids us goodbye. As we leave, Alexander tells us that he just wants to ask Tanya something. He returns shortly, smiling.

"What did you ask Tanya, Alexander?" I enquire when we get back to our quarters.

"Oh..err..." Alexander starts to say, "Err...I asked Tanya if I could go on a date with her, and she agreed. I'm in love, Jadzia."

Both Worfie and I are too stunned to say anything.

To be continued...