Sunday, March 08, 2009

Enterprise Infiltration By Section 31 (Part Four)

Editor' Note:

Luther Sloan, Director of the secret unit Section 31 is sending two of his newest and most beautiful agents to infiltrate the USS Enterprise. Agents J and K will pose as Ensigns Jayne Jackson and Kay Kassandra, and will report on whether the ship is run properly and if Captain Picard is up to the job, otherwise he will be replaced by a Section 31 operative. The two agents are now on the Enterprise, and are causing a stir. Already, they have got into a fight with T'Pol and Ensign Britney, who were taken to the brig.

Guest Poster: Beverley Crusher

Deanna and I go down to the brig to find out what T'Pol and Ensign Britney were up to. From what I've heard, they got into a fight with our latest Ensigns, Kay Kassandra and Jayne Jackson.

Hardly the sort of welcome we want on the Enterprise. Maybe they wanted some of Britney's chewing gum? I wouldn't put it past her.

"It seems very unlike T'Pol and Britney." muses Deanna as we approach, "They may be headstrong and different, but they don't usually attack crewmembers."

We enter the brig area. T'Pol & Britney are busily eating fish and chips, when they see us and look relieved.

"At last!" Britney sighs, "Two people with more than one brain cell each! Hopefully we'll get some sense into them."

"Yes, Brit." T'Pol confirms, "The staff here just don't seem to hear anything we say."

"Well you have been residents in here often." I point out to them, "People don't listen a lot."

"Well they ought to!" T'Pol says in exasperatation, "Those two aren't right."

"Who?" Deanna asks, "You mean Ensigns Jackson and Kassandra?"

"Yeah." she replies, "Except I'm willing to bet that Seven of Nine is a better qualified Ensign than they are."

"Why do you say that?" I ask.

"They used some fighting techniques I'd never seen before." Britney comments, "We were never taught them in the Academy, and had us sent flying across the room. I heard Guinan say something about the Del Markos Technique."

Deanna and I exchange worried glances, the sort she would use if she thought the replicators could not produce any chocolate.

"That's not all, is it sistah." Britney continues, "When I approached them, I heard them whisper about a Sloan and the number 31. Does that mean anything?"

It certainly does!" I exclaim, and get the guard to release them.

"Give us ten minutes." T'Pol says, "Let us finish our fish and chips. It's rare that the brig serve them, and they do the best in the galaxy."

I sigh.

To be continued...


Gordon said...

Time for Deanna to give the new crew a tour of the ship.
Deanna entirely your choice if where you dispose of them, I do believe it's time for the photon torpedo launchers to be checked out don't you, a couple of dummy load test firing should keep them in check..

Lahdeedah said...

What happened to the good ole days when you could just transport troublesome ensigns into space?

The Mistress of the Dark said...

this is going to be getting interesting

The Curmudgeon said...

If this were only the good old days... you could force them into red uniforms and they'd be gone before the second commercial break....

But still: Ensign Britney saves the day?

What is the Galaxy coming to?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Lahdeedah, Curmudgeon, you are right. The good old days of transporting them into space or giving them red uniforms used to be the easy way to dispose of unwanted crew members.

Linda said...

If I remember correctly, spare yellow uniforms tend to get knocked out pretty quick, too!

Thank goodness the girls listened to the girls! You guys always think we're just jealous but sometimes we women actually do know what we're talking about when it comes to other women!

Ellee Seymour said...

I hope they enjoyed their fish and chips. :-)

Anonymous said...

You can't put anything past those sistahs!

M. C. Pearson said...

"the sort she would use if she thought the replicators could not produce any chocolate"...Hahahaha! I know that look!

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Spoiler said...

ooh Fish, and Chips!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

I'm getting a translation problem in the comments. Is this Klingon?

Fish and chips come before saving the ship!

Michael Manning said...

Ah, the old "Fish and Chips" routine! I should have seen this one coming!!!