Thursday, March 26, 2009

The Reporter (Part Three)

I'm still escorting Jeff Raven, the reporter from the Galactic Gazette around the Enterprise. He insists on dressing and behaving like a zany reporter from a 1930's movie. He has no trouble in offending anyone


"So, Captain." says Raven, "Any chance we can go down to meet that guy who talks weird."

"Who are you referring to?" I ask, "Geordi LaForge does not talk weird."

"Not him." Raven tells me, "I'm referring to the Scotsman who says "We canna break the laws of physics." or "The engines canna take it, Cap'n""

"I think you're referring to Montgomery Scott." I correct him, "He served on the Enterprise around ninety years ago."

"Ah, so you mean I can't meet that crochety doctor who argues with the Vulcan?."

"Sorry." I say, some of your facts are a little dated.

Seven of Nine approaches us.

"Ah, now here's someone I wanted to talk to!" exclaims Raven, "Hey honey, can I have a moment of your time."

Seven looks confused.

"My name is not honey." she answers, "I am Seven of Nine, Tertiary Adjunct of Unimatrix 01."

"Yeah, yeah." Raven says dismissively, "Well I'd better not take a photo as it might scare the kiddies. Can I ask a few questions?"

Seven looks like me, and I indicate that it is all right.

"Okay, sweetie," Raven says, getting his pad and pen out, "How does it feel like being a Borg?"

"We are Borg." Seven states, "Resistance is Futile."

"Yeah, I see that." Raven comments, "What's it like to be assimilated?"

"Total perfection." Seven enthuses, "All our minds are one, we think as one. Unrelenting, the Hive Mind looks after us all. The Borg Ideal is the ultimate pinnacle of existance."

"Err...yeah." Raven says, as he scribbles it all down, "Very good."

"I could arrange to have you assimilated." Seven comments calmly, "You may get a good discount."

"Err, no thanks, sweetie." Raven says, "I'll take a rain check on that if you don't mind."

"Very well." Seven answers, "But when we DO come and assimilate you, there will be no discount."

We go on a little more and I say, "Well that's the end of the tour, Mr Raven."

"Is it?" he says, slightly sad, "I'd like to hear some of the gossip around the ship, or the romances that are going on."

"Sorry Mr Raven." I say, I hardly think that's suitable for the Gazette."

Beverly comes round to greet me, and does not see Raven right away.

"Hello Jean-Luc" she says, "Are we all set for our date in the holodeck tonight? The beaches under the twin moons of Ephus III are SO romantic. As soon as I get off my shift in SickBay I'll be waiting for you."

Bev kisses me, and Raven's flash takes the picture.

"Hold it right there!" he exclaims, "That will be a great picture for the readers, "The Captain and the Doctor in cahoots! They're gonna love this!"

I look desperate. "Mr Raven..."

The reporter is already on his way out.

Bev touches her Com Badge.

"Security." she says, "Mr the reporter to the Transporter Room. Make sure he accidentally drops his camera."

Sometimes Bev knows just what to do!


The Curmudgeon said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Curmudgeon said...

The ability to quickly diagnose problems and prescribe efficacious remedies is a highly desirable skill in a ship's doctor.

Linda said...

No wonder you appreciate Bev so much - she's a quick thinker when need be!

EastCoastLife said...

I like Beverly. :)

Merlyn Gabriel said...

women ALWAYS know just what to do.It's part of our charm, Captain.

Jen said...

What a pain!

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Yes, Bev saves the day again!

Gordon said...

Now if it had been me I'd have shutdown the transporter pad for a full diagnostic just as he was about to leave, have the guys walk out, doors lock he's stuck, some good old 24th century knockout gas and then reset his camera, he wakes up none the wiser and if I was asked well he insisted on going in, I've no idea how he set the security systems off and I've no idea how the gas affected the camera as well..
But Bev figures the quicker way, I might have had T'Pol and "honey" britney give him one final "boot"