Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Karena & Starfleet Academy (Part Two)



Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

Gee, I'll never understand women.

Karena walks out in a huff about the Academy rule of being unable to marry, then after she hears that her mother, Queen Diana of Wondawowman wants to talk to her on the video monitor Karena rushes in. She locks the door, because as a man, I'm not worthy of listening to discussions between Amazons.

Shortly after, the door opens, and Karena has a bright smile on her face. I sense trouble here.



"Darling Wesley!" she exclaims, "My mother has found a way of us getting to marry very early!"
My heart sinks.

"The Queen has pressurised the Academy Officials " Karena continues, "They say that if we can fasttrack our studies, we can take the exam early, graduate, and then marry. Isn't that wonderful, pumpkin?"

I feel faint.

"Err..yeah." I reply, "It certainly is, honeybunch."

While Karena goes waltzing off, singing 'I'm Getting Married In The Morning.' and 'Chapel Of Love.', I run to the videoviewer to call Mom on the Enterprise.



"I've got big problems, Mom!" I exclaim, "Karena and her mother have found a way to beat that rule that you and Captain Picard set up."

"Careful, Wes" she replies, "You don't want Karena to overhear that. You life won't be worth a used up dilithium crystal if she attacks you with that spear."

I then tell Mom all what Queen Diana has done.

"This is tricky." Mom says after thinking, "You will have to take the Starfleet Exam. If you fail, you will be set back in your studies. If you succeed, you will be an Ensign...but married to Karena and be her Life Servant."

"What can you do, Mom?" I plead.

"Well, I can urge that the Exam be set to early next year so that the two of you can study for your exams."

"But honeybunch and I...I mean Karena and I will eventually get married." I reply.

Mom looks at me closely, as if she has just caught my hand in the cookie jar.

"Are you SURE you don't love Karena, Wes?" she asks, "You have a pet name for her, and couples only do that when they are in love. I think you love Karena, but can't bring yourself to admit it."

I go very red faced. Is Mom right. Do I love Karena after all?

"I'll leave you to think about it." Mom says, "I'll get the Exams put to early next year."

I think about what Mom says as I leave the videoviewer room. Karena approaches and smiles warmly, her figure is curvy. The amazon puts her spear down and starts to kiss me, but I kiss her first.

Mom is right. I DO love Karena.

"Oh, honeybunch." I exclaim.

"Oh, pumpkin!" she replies.

23 comments:

The Curmudgeon said...

"Oh, honeybunch." [Wes exclaims].

"Oh, pumpkin!" [Karena] replies.


Oh, I think I'm going to be sick.

Give me that spear! Let me take care of this.

Unknown said...

Oh how cute! Honeybunch :)

Anonymous said...

I think you have a great understanding of women, they seem a very sweet bunch here today.

susan said...

Ahhhh, but will they last 25 years?

Danny Bailey said...

oh a wedding... I can suggest a wedding planner if you like

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

'Bout time, Wes. Man up and make an honest woman out of that gal.

Tawnya Shields said...

Karena is showing her sweet side. Very nice. But... will she be like her mother?

Unknown said...

Aren't the lovebirds cute?

Lavender said...

Oi! I need a bucket over here! ROFL!
RUN AWAY WESLEY!!! A life of servitude is going to suck, even if it is for love!!

M. C. Pearson said...

Oh, honeybunches of pumpkin barf! But ya know, I think Wesley deserves it! Mmwahahahaha! He has always made my skin crawl. I'm actually feeling sorry for the Amazon!

Bilbo said...

I'm thinking about a spear joke so dirty I'm ashamed to think of it myself. Excuse me while I go wash out my brain with soap...

Amanda said...

Honeybunch and pumpkin?
I think I'll grab another spear and join the curmudgeon in taking care of this.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

You're all so cruel! That spear seems to have a lot of uses, according to you.

Titania, Karena may well be cute, but she is an Amazon who has netted Wesley as her future Life Servant....poor Wes!

Danny...a wedding planner? I think Queen Diana will be the only wedding planner in this.

Anonymous said...

Bilbo, do share it with us.

Nepharia said...

He's screwed.

Mr Farty said...

Aw, bless! They'll make a lovely couple.

Jen said...

Can I be in the wedding?

Anonymous said...

Come to my site and see if you can guess people's ages:
http://www.howoldami.com/

The Mistress of the Dark said...

I can think of worse things than being married to a pretty blonde.

Black Widow said...

careful there Wes

feelings can be dangerous

Jean-Luc Picard said...

MOTD, a blonde Amazonian warrior isn't a bad choicce!

Jen, you'll have to get a new hat.

Jaime said...

I want to borrow the spear next! Good idea, curmudgeon!!

(sorry, Captain...)

Rob Whatman said...

It seems that our poor Wes faces a dilemma more difficult than the Kobyashi Maru test - and he's already initiated self-destruct...

Sound like things have worked out just fine for you, mon Capitain! No more 'Wes saving the ship' once he's packed off back to Amazonia...