Sunday, October 14, 2007

Unimatrix Zero Lifestyles

Guest Poster: Annika Hansen

Here in Unimatrix Zero, the realm where certain Borg drones can go subconsiously when regenerating in their alcoves if they possess the recessive gene, a lot of things have been happening.

It is most fortunate that the drones have no memory of their time here when they awaken. My other self, Seven Of Nine would never imagine that she was one of us!

Well, Axum has been given the heave-ho. I have had enough of him.

The last time I wrote, I mentioned that I was getting very suspicious of his actions. He used to claim that he was getting in some golf practice so that he could join the exclusive local club. However, I had caught him eyeing the Bajoran woman Vi Toran as she visited the stream.

I secretly followed them and caught them.

"It's not what it looks like, Annika." says Axum helplessly, "Vi and I were just washing our clothes in the stream and decided to clean the ones we had on as well."

I ask you. Does he think I'm that gullible?

Needless to say, there was a 'discussion' between Toran and myself which left her very much worse for wear. Axum had a black eye from me as well.

With this parting gift from me, I sent him packing from our cave, and threw his golf clubs on to the floor, not forgetting to break a few with a rock before, of course.

Naturally, I got a lot of sympathy at the Unimatrix Zero Women's Institute, where the quality of my Upside Down cake is still talked about as legend. I wasn't after any sympathy, though, but it was good to hear Axum talked about in such a derogatory manner!

"He was always a bad lot." Muriel says to me, as we were making our clay pots, "You go and get yourself a decent man."


The Klingons next door are still singing songs of victory and their endless ballads. One comes to see me.

"Greetings, Annika." he says with a smile.

"Hello Korris." I reply.

"Where is Axum, your master?" he asks. This irks me.

"I have thrown him out." I declare proudly.

"You are a most spirited woman." Kollis says to me, "Would you consider joining me for a date in my cave?"

"Err....I'll pass, if you don't mind, Kollis."

He goes away, slightly disappinted.

I wonder if there is a dating agency here on Unimatrix Zero?


aka_Monty said...

You had me at Upside Down cake. ;)

Let's hear it for Annika! YOU GO! hehe

You know, one of my favorite things about Sunday is that one of the local stations shows original Star Trek episodes at 10pm.

Oh, and Michele sent me today! (I'm always happy when she does that)

Lavender said...

Hey, maybe she should give Korris a go? He might be a diamond in the rough....LOL!

Gordon said...

Annika maybe you could start a dating agency you never know what could happen then, if only there was some safe way you could let your drone self know oh the fun..
Or like lavender said you could try Korris stranger couples have made it work.

Titania Starlight said...

She is one feisty lady! Ouch the golf clubs. I bet that hurt him the most. LOL!

Bilbo said...

"Vi and I were just washing our clothes in the stream and decided to clean the ones we had on as well"??? That has to be one of the all-time greatest caught-in-the-act excuses I've ever heard! Jean-Luc, you rock!

Tony Stark Iron Man said...

I'm a little surprised Borg have a subconcience I guess I'll have to open up a few of their heads, and see what that's about.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

This is almost like Desperate Housewives..the Star Trek edition :)

Anonymous said...

O wonder if I could visit the Unimatrix

The Curmudgeon said...

In Part II, Annika finds a career when she starts the dating agency -- but she does so anonymously and is more than a little amused to find that Axum and Vi Torum both submit applications....

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Curmudgeon...who writes the stories around here?

MOTD: I don't think Bree, Gabriella, Susan & Lynette are going to show up there.

Tony, they could take offence at that.

Bilbo, somebody might believe it1

Titania, you're right about that.

Gordon, it could work.

Lavender, I'm not sure if Korris is Annika's type.

akaMonty, Upside Down Cake is a very English cake.

Ellee said...

I have a girlfriend with a dating agency, she could help here, if you wanted. There is a shortage of men though, not sure if that is the case on your planet.

TX said...

I would like to go to study this Unimatrix...

Think Annika can help me get in?

Dr Katelyn S. Basil - PhD (Cybernetic Robotics research)

M. C. Pearson said...

Cute post...always love the ones with Seven in them!!!

I was hoping you would sign in for the Amy Grant book contest!!! Horrah! I'll give it a few more days, then announce the winners. :-)

M. C. Pearson said...

Oh, and love how the Shelfari thing looks! Hozzah, we got that fixed!

Linda said...

I think she should give Korris a chance - after all, Klingnons are great warriors and may very well be great in other respects if you know what I mean (nudge, nudge, wink, wink!).

Anonymous said...

The brunette has what I would call a very botched nose job. Scarey! Can you tell I am not a trekkie Jean-Luc? :-(

M. C. Pearson said...

BTW, I just got tagged and have passed on the glory to you as well. :-P

Merlyn Gabriel said...

way to go Annika!!!

Vegeta said...

Wait why do they live in caves?

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Vegeta, Unimatrix Zero has a jungle-like environment.

Mimi. I'll take a look at your tag. We did well with Shelfari. Too bad the books don't vary unless a new book is added on the shelf.

Dari, I can cetainly tell that! All Bajorans have similar noses.

Linda, I like your nudge, nudge, wink, wink comment!

Katelyn, you have to be a Borg drone and possess the recessive gene. It's tough to get into.

Anonymous said...

Nice post to go, i too like to play basket ball but my bad nose dosent allow to play, when ever i think of my nose i lose my confidence,i dont know the result of this Rhinoplasty non-Surgical treatment. i like to get back my nose

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