Thursday, January 03, 2008

Alexander's Little Talk (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Worf

Right now, I would rather be facing a fleet of Borg Cubes than the task I am about to do.

Jadzia and I are taking Alexander down to Counselor Troi's office, where she can help me talk to him about the Facts of Life. Klingons are not used to doing things in this manner, but as Alexander is on a Federation ship, this is the best way. It follows an incident where his teacher, Miss Forrester reported that Alexander tried to kiss a girl who did not like him.


"Where are we going, father?" asks Alexander, as the three of us approach the doorway of Deanna Troi's office.

"We are all going to talk about a rather delicate subject." I reply.

"What is it?" he asks, "Are you and Jadzia splitting up so you can get back together with Deanna?"

"NO!" answers Jadzia sharply, "We are not splitting up. We are just seeking the Counselor's help with some issues."

"Oh." he says, "The two of you are having relationship issues and you want Deanna to help sort it out."

"NO!" exclaims an even more irritated Jadzia, "You're the issue!"

We enter the office and Deanna greets us, and we are all invited to sit down.

"Are you going to kiss Deanna, father" asks Alexander.

"No, I am not." I inform him, "We all wish to discuss the kissing that went on in the schoolroom. It was unacceptable."

"Why don't you let me handle this, Worf?" Deanna calmly informs me, then turns to my son.

"Now, Alexander, I want to have a talk with you about the facts of life, and how men and women make babies."

"Sure, Deanna." he replies, "What is it you want to know?"

Jadzia collapses in a fit of giggles, Deanna looks red-faced, and I am disgusted.

"It is us who should be informing YOU." I tell him, "Where do you pick things up."

"Well, I have been with you and Deanna, then you and Jadzia." he tells me calmly, although this produces a guilty look in all of us, "It gave me a pretty good idea. Besides that, the children in the claasroom are very worldy-wise"

We all sigh, then Deanna talks about the incident in the classroom when Emily refused to kiss Alexander, and he refused a kiss off Sharon.

"Emily is the attractive one." comments Alexander, "All the boys in class like her. I think she was just playing hard to get. As for Sharon, she will kiss anyone. I wouldn't like you to think I was someone who accepts a kiss off that sort of woman, father. I do have moral standings."

"But Emily and Sharon are only eleven years old." Deanna tells him.

"Yes." comments Alexander, "But you never know where these things leads to."

"I think Alexander has said enough, Worf." Deanna tells us, "He is quite a bright little boy with good standards. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Jadzia and I leave the office with Alexander, and let him go back to the classroom. The two of us continue to talk.

"However did Deanna come to that conclusion." I tell Jadzia, "I'm going to keep an eye on that boy."

"Let him grow up, Worfie." Jadzia tells me, "Although I get the idea he's more grown up than a lot of the adults here."


Ellee Seymour said...

You can get kids with a wiser head on their shoulders than adults, that's for sure.

Jana said...

Alexander certainly seems like a wise little boy! I don't think Worf has anything to worry about.

Gordon said...

Yeah I can see it in years to come Worf being in trouble and Alexander having to bail him out :P

Titania Starlight said...

I would have to agree with Gordon to keep an eye on Mr. Alexander. He is growing up way to fast.

Linda said...

Sounds to me like Alexander is very wise in these matters for being so young in years! Perhaps he could teach Counselor Troi a thing or two?? As for Worf, I think he got off easy on this one!

Kon-El said...

smart kid maybe I shold Chiris ask him questions and not me.

Random Magus said...

A very Happy New Year.

We should not forget that the child is the father of the man ;)

Ellee Seymour said...

I hope you have a swell weekend captain. Be good.

Monica said...


Funny, I always wondered how Alexander would be in a discussion on facts of life.

Oh, and I love the "Are you going to kiss Deanna father?". LOL Little trouble maker.



Jean-Luc Picard said...

This sort of thing Worf would never be good at!

The Curmudgeon said...

I am surprised that everyone seemed to think that The Talk was in order after a couple of attempted kisses.

I think Deanna and Dax are surprised to learn that their private moments with Worf may not have been so private as they imagined....

Michael Manning said...

I enjoy these stories filled with incidents requiring counseling and beautiful women!

Leon said...

Alexander's older than his years I see.

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