Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Starfleet Academy Exam (Part Two)



Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

My honeybunch, Karena and I are about to enter the hall for the first part of the Starfleet Academy Exam. If we both pass, will be Ensigns, and also we'll be able to get married.

I can tell Mom and Captain Picard were really pleased when they smiled and waved us goodbye. At least I THINK they were pleased.

As I go through the door, I am approached by Flushman, the Academy Bully.

Flushman has gained a notoriety amongst the Cadets, and likes to terrorise them all. He is so professional at his activities, he has the official title of 'Academy Bully' printed on his Cadet uniform. He towers six foot tall, and is generally all muscle...including his head.

"Crusher!" he bellows, "I want a word with you."

"What is it you want, Flushman?" I ask.

"You will address me as Mister Flushman or by my official title as 'Academy Bully'!" he corrects me.

"Sorry, Mr Flushman." I reply.

"That's better." he comments, "Now then, Crusher, you are supposed to be rather good at these exams. When I whisper to you, I expect you to reply quietly with the answer that I require."

"Are you intimidating my pumpkin?" shouts an angry female voice from behind.

Karena.



"You will feel the effects of my spear!" she yells, and applies it to Flushman.

I think he will have difficulty in sitting down for the exam after that.

"Are you all right, pumpkin?" she asks me, showering me with kisses.

"Fine, thank you, honeybunch." I reply. "Let's go in for the exam."

-----------------

A group of us sit in the hall. Karena, myself, a sore Flushman, a male Bolian, and a female Andorian, who winks seductively at me, and blows me a kiss.

"Now then." says the exam head, "Here are you test papers. Turn them over. You have one hour to complete them."

We turn them over, and I look at the first question.

If it takes one Klingon 75 minutes to dig a hole with a shovel, how long will it take to dig half a hole with a shovel twice the size?

I read that one again. I hope all the questions are not like that. I think I'll come back to that one.

A shuttle travelling at Warp Four meets a Starship travelling at Warp Seven. How many light years would the two have to be apart when they first started?

Maybe it's a trick question?

How many Jeffries Tubes does a Galaxy Class Starship have?

That's easy-peasy, and I write the answer down. Geordi told me that on the Enterprise. It was impotant to know when I was saving the ship every week.

Who won the World Series in 2009?

Ah, an Ancient History question. Now who was it? Ah yes, it was them.

I go through the rest of the questions and reread the first ones. I turn over my paper at the end of the hour.

Flushman looks like he hasn't done too well. The Bolian and Andorian seem unsure of how well they've done.

I look at Karena. She gives me a smile, and gives a hard look at the Andorian.

"You have now completed the written exam." says the exam head, "Later in the week, you will move to the Practical Part, which will determine whether you succeed or not."

To be continued...

-------------------

Author's Note



Elizabeth on Table For Five has just given me the above Award. Thanks so much You're a great blog and Facebook friend!

I award this to Linda on Are We There Yet? for being a good friend and Scrabulous player and to Titania Starlight for the uplifting posts she produces.

20 comments:

Linda said...

Amanda is in the middle of exams herself this week but I doubt that there are any questions like those on them. At least I hope not!

By the way, who did win the World Series in 2009? You can tell me and then I can make sure to place a large wager on the winning team when the game is played next year!

Elizabeth said...

Your Klingon question cracked me up! I gave you an award on Table for Five, please stop by to pick it up!

Lahdeedah said...

Two starships, passing in the night...

I always hated word problems!

So doomed.

Michael Manning said...

Judging by Karena's good looks, he's already succeeded!:)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You have test papers? I thought Starfleet went paperless.

Match said...

You should crush The Bully And then destroy jhis family as you display his crushed reamins to them, well that's what I would do anyway.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh dear..I hope Wes has done well

Monica said...

"Are you intimidating my pumpkin?"

Oh no, that is good! I think I'll use that somewhere if you wouldn't mind... oh, less the spear!

;)

Spoiler said...

man those are hard questions

EuroYank said...

She reminds me of my 51st wife, before I was reborn and went back in time to the 21st century. By the way ... this comment is also reaching you from the 21st century! I think if you comment on this comment, that by that time we will intersect in time and look back at this comment as primitive in nature and unworthy of comment!

The Curmudgeon said...

I think the trick questions may come back to haunt Wes.

Just a thought, though.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Spoiler, of course they're hard questions. Itn isn't easy to get to be an Ensign.

Monica, you are welcome to, although the spear is useful.

Match, that sounds a little extreme, although Karena might not think so.

Jon, EVERYBODY has test papers, even those in a paperless society.

Elizabeth, thanks for that Award.

Linda, you'll have to ask Wesley who won that one. I can't remember.

Gordon said...

Hmm yeah trick questions for sure, the 2nd is only answerable with some additional data like a couple of bearings and an intersect point but that's just me.
Good job it was just a little prod with the spear else it could have been a lot nastier for all concerned.

Ellee Seymour said...

It's a long time since I heard anyone being called honeybunch, how lovely.

Titania Starlight said...

I do not blame Wesley, I was never fond of words problems. Belch!


Congrats on your award and thank you for thinking of me. I like the image of this award. Very appropriate.

Thanks again.

Bilbo said...

I think young pumpkin is on the way to getting seeded...

Chris C said...

completely OT but I wanted to come by and say congrats on getting a mention by Neatorama.com. That's huge. :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Chris, thanks for telling me about the mention in Neatorama. That's great!

Bilbo, who knows?

Word problems are tricky.

Titania, you're welcome.

Linda said...

Thank you so much for the award, Jean-Luc! You cheer me up, too, and keep me on my toes on the Scrabulous boards (where you have defeated me again I might add!).

Oh, and asked Wesley and he said he doesn't remember either - rats!

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