Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Starfleet Academy Exam (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Wesley Crusher

My honeybunch, Karena and I are about to enter the hall for the first part of the Starfleet Academy Exam. If we both pass, will be Ensigns, and also we'll be able to get married.

I can tell Mom and Captain Picard were really pleased when they smiled and waved us goodbye. At least I THINK they were pleased.

As I go through the door, I am approached by Flushman, the Academy Bully.

Flushman has gained a notoriety amongst the Cadets, and likes to terrorise them all. He is so professional at his activities, he has the official title of 'Academy Bully' printed on his Cadet uniform. He towers six foot tall, and is generally all muscle...including his head.

"Crusher!" he bellows, "I want a word with you."

"What is it you want, Flushman?" I ask.

"You will address me as Mister Flushman or by my official title as 'Academy Bully'!" he corrects me.

"Sorry, Mr Flushman." I reply.

"That's better." he comments, "Now then, Crusher, you are supposed to be rather good at these exams. When I whisper to you, I expect you to reply quietly with the answer that I require."

"Are you intimidating my pumpkin?" shouts an angry female voice from behind.


"You will feel the effects of my spear!" she yells, and applies it to Flushman.

I think he will have difficulty in sitting down for the exam after that.

"Are you all right, pumpkin?" she asks me, showering me with kisses.

"Fine, thank you, honeybunch." I reply. "Let's go in for the exam."


A group of us sit in the hall. Karena, myself, a sore Flushman, a male Bolian, and a female Andorian, who winks seductively at me, and blows me a kiss.

"Now then." says the exam head, "Here are you test papers. Turn them over. You have one hour to complete them."

We turn them over, and I look at the first question.

If it takes one Klingon 75 minutes to dig a hole with a shovel, how long will it take to dig half a hole with a shovel twice the size?

I read that one again. I hope all the questions are not like that. I think I'll come back to that one.

A shuttle travelling at Warp Four meets a Starship travelling at Warp Seven. How many light years would the two have to be apart when they first started?

Maybe it's a trick question?

How many Jeffries Tubes does a Galaxy Class Starship have?

That's easy-peasy, and I write the answer down. Geordi told me that on the Enterprise. It was impotant to know when I was saving the ship every week.

Who won the World Series in 2009?

Ah, an Ancient History question. Now who was it? Ah yes, it was them.

I go through the rest of the questions and reread the first ones. I turn over my paper at the end of the hour.

Flushman looks like he hasn't done too well. The Bolian and Andorian seem unsure of how well they've done.

I look at Karena. She gives me a smile, and gives a hard look at the Andorian.

"You have now completed the written exam." says the exam head, "Later in the week, you will move to the Practical Part, which will determine whether you succeed or not."

To be continued...


Author's Note

Elizabeth on Table For Five has just given me the above Award. Thanks so much You're a great blog and Facebook friend!

I award this to Linda on Are We There Yet? for being a good friend and Scrabulous player and to Titania Starlight for the uplifting posts she produces.


Linda said...

Amanda is in the middle of exams herself this week but I doubt that there are any questions like those on them. At least I hope not!

By the way, who did win the World Series in 2009? You can tell me and then I can make sure to place a large wager on the winning team when the game is played next year!

Elizabeth said...

Your Klingon question cracked me up! I gave you an award on Table for Five, please stop by to pick it up!

Lahdeedah said...

Two starships, passing in the night...

I always hated word problems!

So doomed.

Michael Manning said...

Judging by Karena's good looks, he's already succeeded!:)

Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

You have test papers? I thought Starfleet went paperless.

Match said...

You should crush The Bully And then destroy jhis family as you display his crushed reamins to them, well that's what I would do anyway.

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh dear..I hope Wes has done well

Monica said...

"Are you intimidating my pumpkin?"

Oh no, that is good! I think I'll use that somewhere if you wouldn't mind... oh, less the spear!


Spoiler said...

man those are hard questions

EuroYank said...

She reminds me of my 51st wife, before I was reborn and went back in time to the 21st century. By the way ... this comment is also reaching you from the 21st century! I think if you comment on this comment, that by that time we will intersect in time and look back at this comment as primitive in nature and unworthy of comment!

The Curmudgeon said...

I think the trick questions may come back to haunt Wes.

Just a thought, though.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Spoiler, of course they're hard questions. Itn isn't easy to get to be an Ensign.

Monica, you are welcome to, although the spear is useful.

Match, that sounds a little extreme, although Karena might not think so.

Jon, EVERYBODY has test papers, even those in a paperless society.

Elizabeth, thanks for that Award.

Linda, you'll have to ask Wesley who won that one. I can't remember.

Gordon said...

Hmm yeah trick questions for sure, the 2nd is only answerable with some additional data like a couple of bearings and an intersect point but that's just me.
Good job it was just a little prod with the spear else it could have been a lot nastier for all concerned.

Ellee Seymour said...

It's a long time since I heard anyone being called honeybunch, how lovely.

Titania Starlight said...

I do not blame Wesley, I was never fond of words problems. Belch!

Congrats on your award and thank you for thinking of me. I like the image of this award. Very appropriate.

Thanks again.

Bilbo said...

I think young pumpkin is on the way to getting seeded...

Chris C said...

completely OT but I wanted to come by and say congrats on getting a mention by Neatorama.com. That's huge. :)

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Chris, thanks for telling me about the mention in Neatorama. That's great!

Bilbo, who knows?

Word problems are tricky.

Titania, you're welcome.

Linda said...

Thank you so much for the award, Jean-Luc! You cheer me up, too, and keep me on my toes on the Scrabulous boards (where you have defeated me again I might add!).

Oh, and asked Wesley and he said he doesn't remember either - rats!

Anonymous said...

豆豆聊天室 aio交友愛情館 2008真情寫真 2009真情寫真 aa片免費看 捷克論壇 微風論壇 大眾論壇 plus論壇 080視訊聊天室 情色視訊交友90739 美女交友-成人聊天室 色情小說 做愛成人圖片區 豆豆色情聊天室 080豆豆聊天室 小辣妹影音交友網 台中情人聊天室 桃園星願聊天室 高雄網友聊天室 新中台灣聊天室 中部網友聊天室 嘉義之光聊天室 基隆海岸聊天室 中壢網友聊天室 南台灣聊天室 南部聊坊聊天室 台南不夜城聊天室 南部網友聊天室 屏東網友聊天室 台南網友聊天室 屏東聊坊聊天室 雲林網友聊天室 大學生BBS聊天室 網路學院聊天室 屏東夜語聊天室 孤男寡女聊天室 一網情深聊天室 心靈饗宴聊天室 流星花園聊天室 食色男女色情聊天室 真愛宣言交友聊天室 情人皇朝聊天室 上班族成人聊天室 上班族f1影音視訊聊天室 哈雷視訊聊天室 080影音視訊聊天室 38不夜城聊天室 援交聊天室080 080哈啦聊天室 台北已婚聊天室 已婚廣場聊天室 夢幻家族聊天室 摸摸扣扣同學會聊天室 520情色聊天室 QQ成人交友聊天室 免費視訊網愛聊天室 愛情公寓免費聊天室 拉子性愛聊天室 柔情網友聊天室 哈啦影音交友網 哈啦影音視訊聊天室 櫻井莉亞三點全露寫真集 123上班族聊天室 尋夢園上班族聊天室 成人聊天室上班族 080上班族聊天室 6k聊天室 粉紅豆豆聊天室 080豆豆聊天網 新豆豆聊天室 080聊天室 免費音樂試聽 流行音樂試聽 免費aa片試看A片 免費a長片線上看 色情貼影片 免費a長片 本土成人貼圖站 大台灣情色網 台灣男人幫論壇 A圖網 嘟嘟成人電影網 火辣春夢貼圖網 情色貼圖俱樂部 台灣成人電影 絲襪美腿樂園 18美女貼圖區 柔情聊天網 707網愛聊天室聯盟 台北69色情貼圖區 38女孩情色網 台灣映像館 波波成人情色網站 美女成人貼圖區 無碼貼圖力量 色妹妹性愛貼圖區 日本女優貼圖網 日本美少女貼圖區 亞洲風暴情色貼圖網 哈啦聊天室 美少女自拍貼圖 辣妹成人情色網 台北女孩情色網 辣手貼圖情色網 AV無碼女優影片 男女情色寫真貼圖 a片天使俱樂部 萍水相逢遊戲區 平水相逢遊戲區 免費視訊交友90739 免費視訊聊天 辣妹視訊 - 影音聊天網 080視訊聊天室 日本美女肛交 美女工廠貼圖區 百分百貼圖區 亞洲成人電影情色網 台灣本土自拍貼圖網 麻辣貼圖情色網 好色客成人圖片貼圖區 711成人AV貼圖區 台灣美女貼圖區 筱萱成人論壇 咪咪情色貼圖區 momokoko同學會視訊 kk272視訊 情色文學小站 成人情色貼圖區 嘟嘟成人網 嘟嘟情人色網 - 貼圖區 免費色情a片下載 台灣情色論壇 成人影片分享 免費視訊聊天區 微風 成人 論壇 kiss文學區 taiwankiss文學區