Sunday, January 06, 2008

Caught Speeding In Space

The Enterprise is in a hurry. We have been called to Starbase 22 to deliver some medical supplies before they run out.

As a result, we are passing through the Harvalen System, a largely unexplored section of space. It's somewhat of a risk. Aliens don't like us intruding on their doorstep and tend to take offence. As a result, we are on Yellow Alert.

"How long will it be before we leave Harvalen Space, Number One?" I ask, somewhat nervously.
"Not long, Captain." Riker replies, "I estimate it is another 20 minutes."

"22.3 minutes to be exact, travelling at our current speed of Warp Nine, Captain" pipes up Data, in his determination to be just right.

"Approaching vessel coming up behind us." Worf tells me, "It is sending a voice hail."

"Let's hear it." I reply, and an authoritive message comes over the speakers.

"This is the Harvalen Speed Police" it starts, "You have been caught speeding in our region of space. You will have your starship come to a halt so that it may be boarded."

"What nonsense!" I comment.

"It may be advisable to stop, Captain." Data tells me, "After all, we are in their space, and it is us who may have been committing the offence."

I really dislike it when he is right!

The ship comes to a halt, and a figure beams aboard.

"I am Gira" he says, "The Space Traffic Officer in this area. I would like to speak to the driver of this starship."

"I suppose that's me." I reply, "I'm Captain Jean-Luc Picard of the Stars.."

"Where are your papers to fly this?" Gira interrupts brusquely.

"I don't have any." I tell him, "I'm was appointed by Starfleet to be the Captain. If there is anything, look at the records on the computer. It tells you who I am."

Gira looks at the computer, which confirms what I said.

"We've been watching these Starfleet vessels from our system." Gira grumbles, "Going from one place to another at speeds, with no thought for anyone else. You do realise you were going at Warp Nine in a Warp Three restricted area of space?"

"We were unaware of those restrictions. We are on an urgent mission to deliver medical supplies to a Starbase." I protest.

"Ah, they all say that." Gira answers, "I'll have to write you a ticket."

"A ticket!" exclaims Worf, "That is unacceptable!"

"It might be wise to accept." advises Deanna, "In the interests of intergalactic co-operation."

Gira writes 'NCC-1701D' on the ticket, together with my name. He rips it off his pad and hands it to me.

"That will be three points on your interplanetary driving licence plus a fine which you can pay later." Gira informs me, then adds, "Mind how you go."

He beams off the ship.

"Starbase 22, Warp Three, Mr Data." I say glumly, "I'll send the ticket to Starfleet."


Linda said...

Not the best way to start off the New Year, Captain, but I guess it could have been worse as he could have hauled you into court right then and there not trusting you to pay your ticket.

If I may ask, what's the penalty for Warp 9 in a Warp 3 zone?

Michael Manning said...

Captain: I've been told actor David Carradine has an "arrangement" with local police. He drives his exotic cars at high speeds. The deal is that if he can be caught, he will pay dearly. Imagine "King Fu" driving a Lhamborghini! :)I was hoping the officer would offer to provide an escort for you!!

Nepharia said...

Sount like he has a thing against Starfleet ships. Sounds like a case of discrimination if you ask me. If I were you I'd complain about profiling.

Gordon said...

Should have had data scramble his ships sensors and kept going :P
What next speed cameras in the space lanes :P.

Amanda said...

Hmmmm even Captain Picard isn't exempt from speeding fines and POINT deductions!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh dear. :(

Leon said...

Maybe you should've bribed him with some credits.

The Curmudgeon said...

Perhaps if you got lights and sirens installed on the ship you could pass yourself off as an emergency vehicle?

Ellee Seymour said...

I know what it feels like, I've had three points on my licence too.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Ah, you all seem to be speaking from experience.

Leon, I don't think the Harvalens are bribable.

Gordon, I can well imagine speed cameras being set up there.

Red Hood said...

I hate speeding tickets

Cheerio said...

This is making me smile. It's funny that in space there would be speeding tickets too. Thought in space would be as free as a bird.

sfgirl said...

hmmmm....Thanks for the tip, Captain Picard! I'll be sure not to stray into the Harvalen System when going my "regular" speed... :)

Anonymous said...

Good morning my friend. Wanted to wish you and yours all the best for 2008!

Bilbo said...

Those darned subspace speed traps are the worst, and those cops from the small systems are pretty tough on out-of-system-registered starships. Don't forget to always carry your Starship Club card so that you can have your bail posted if necessary.

Jana said...

Hey, can I send my tickets to Star Fleet? Not that I have any.

Jean-Luc Picard said...

Bilbo, that's a good tip to carry my Starfleet Club Card.

Jana, don't get any ideas about sending your ticket to Starfleet.

Dari, have a wonderful 2008.

Nina, remember to stay at Warp Three when in the Harvalen system.

Empress Bee (of the High Sea) said...

don't you just hate it when that happens???

smiles, bee

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