Tuesday, January 01, 2008

Alexander's Little Talk (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Worfie and I have been summoned to a meeting with Miss Forrester, who is Alexander's teacher on the Enterprise.

This has sent Worfie into his usual worrying state.

"It sounds as if his grades might be slipping." Worf tells me as we walk towards the school, "If they are, he will be severely punished. Alexander must not bring shame on the family by having failing grades."

"Don't get uptight about that, Worfie." I tell him, "You know it never does Alexander any good when you inflict that Klingon philosophy into him. He wanted to be a ballet dancer at one stage."

"He is meant to be a Klingon warrior!" protests Worf.

We enter ther schoolroom.

"Hello Lieutenant Worf and Jadzia." says Miss Forrester as she greets us.

"Whatever Alexander has done." Worfie blurts out, "I can assure you that he will be punished most severely. In addition to that, he will be denied replicator priveliges until he is at least 30."

"Sssshh" I whisper, "Let's hear Miss Forrester first."

"Err...yes," starts Miss Forrester in a hesitant manner, "This is a little delicate, but yesterday, Alexander was err...pestering a female student named Emily he was sitting with."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well" she continues, "Alexander wanted to kiss her. Emily refused. This lead to a lot of trouble in the classroom."

"How so?" Worf asked.

"Another little girl, named Sharon said she wanted to kiss Alexander, but he did not want to kiss her."

"Oh dear!" I exclaim, but trying to supress a giggle, while Worf is looking disgusted.

"I've spoken to the other parents." continues Miss Forrester, "And they have agreed to have 'the talk' with their children. It leaves just you."

"What do you mean by 'the talk'" asks Worf. I sigh.

"It means when a parents and children have to talk about the birds and the bees." I tell him with exasperation.

"The birds and the bees?" Worf asks, with increasing bewilderment.

"Reproduction!" I shout out.

Finally Worf gets the idea.

"I cannot talk to Alexander about that!" Worf protests, "In Klingon society, men and women find out for themselves when they meet up."

"That may be true, Worfie," I say, "But that can't happen with a young boy on a starship."

"But I don't know how to approach telling him." Worf admits.

"In that case." I admit, "As much as it annoys me to say this, "We might need the help of that Counselor, the Troi woman."

To be continued...


Jon the Intergalactic Gladiator said...

Time for "The Talk."

Oracle said...

Good Luck Worf =]

Here via Michele

Palm Springs Savant said...

Try not to go berserk Worf!!

Darth Nepharia said...

What do birds and bees have to do with human reproduction? That sounds a little kinky.

Linda said...

Ah, "the talk", all of us who are parents dread that one so I can feel Worf's pain!

November Rain said...

oh the talk is always so hard

I hope you are having a good News Years
I am in the middle of the big move so soon my internet will be off for how long I do not know

Spacerguy said...

Relax Worf! Piece of cake. Jadzia and Troi will have this nailed in no-time. The betazoid is good at reading minds... Happy New Year Captain.

mistipurple said...

Happy New Year, Captain Picard and
Everyone at Starfleet.
My engine ran into some problem and I was lucky Q came on board, or else I might reach you only mid of the year.

Michael Manning said...

It doesn't even appear as if a Klingon ballet will soften up this teacher!

The Mistress of the Dark said...

Oh dear. I think a group hug will solve all the problems

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pilgrimchick said...

This makes me want to pull out all of the TNG episodes that include Worf/Alexander interaction. How much I miss that kind of thing.

craziequeen said...

'The birds and the bees'?

I always wondered how that talk would go......

bird and bee biology is so far away from human behaviour and reproduction as to be nigh on impossible to achieve by us...

All I can say is - Good Luck, Worf!!


Ellee Seymour said...

Is it still called "the birds and the bees" in your extra terrestrial life? Some things never change.

Titania Starlight said...

Poor Worf. I agree that someone more at ease with this subject needs to speak to Alexander. Maybe it would help if Worf sit in on the life lesson. Perhaps, he could learn a thing or two.

mrsmogul said...

Yes that's her name...BAR! Ruffles something is the last name. But who cares.happy new year captain!

Slobo said...

Birds and bees? Along with reproduction Frag you Bastiches are kinky.

Leon said...

How come there's a whiteboard on a Federation ship? I thought you guys were supposed to be advanced?

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