The Trouble With Donatra (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

I'm getting concerned about Donatra.

She is the Romulan who claimed asylum with the Federation on the Enterprise while visiting with two others. Donatra said that there was in truth only a small amount of Romulan blood in her, and that she was actually a Klingon in ancestry.

Since that time, Worf has been spending a lot of time with her, getting Donatra used to the ways of the Federation and also how the Klingon Empire works.

----------

Worf comes in our quarters, late as usual.

"Where have you been?" I ask, "We were all due to have dinner over half an hour ago."

"I could not come any earlier." he replies, "Donatra wanted me to tell her more about the great Klingon leader abnd warrior Kahless."

"That woman again!" I angrily say, "That woman is getting more of your time than I do, and we live together!"



"Donatra is my protege!"  Worf answers, "She needs all the help she can to indoctrinate her into Klingon society. She will have a difficult job after being with those Romulans all her life."

"Yeah, you're just the one to indoctrinate her." I say somewhat sarcastically.

Worf is just about to reply, whern Alexander appears from the other room.



"Jadzia." he asks, "Are you and dad having an argument?"

"No, Alexander." I reply in a suddenly calm manner, "We are just having a discussion."

"Judging from the sound, it seemed like an argument to me!" Alexander comments rather astutely.

"Jadzia and I just have a difference of opinion." Worf explains to his son, "This will easily be sorted out when she admits that I am right."

I get in a huff and walk out of the room. As I stomp through the corridors, pushing a few people aside as I do, I meet Donatra coming the other way.



"Watch your step, Romulan!" I say bitterly as I walk past her and enter the turbolift.

"But I'm a Kling..." Donatra starts to say.

"I know what you are!" I snap back, "Watch what you do with my Worf!"

To be continued...

The Alpha Borg Queen's Visit (Part One)

"Set a course for the Episilon System, Mr Data." I say in my best Captain's voice, "We have to meet some delegates there in three days.

"Setting course, sir." Data replies robotically. I guess that's the best I can to to an android joke.



"You will refrain from doing so, Locutus!" Seven of Nine commands me, as she strides on to the Bridge, her metal suit clanking as she does so.

"Seven." I tell her, "You can't just..."

"The Borg Queen is about to arrive at co-ordinates 122.874." she says, "You must send the Enterprise there quickly, as she has something important to tell you."

"What is it?"

"That is classified" she tells me, like an FBI agent, "She will inform you when the time is right."

With that, Seven turns on her mechanical heel and walks off the Bridge again.



"What do you think that's all about, sir?" Riker asks me, as he tucks into his second donut.

"I'm not sure, Number One" I reply, "But I think we need to go there. The USS Washington can handle those delegates."



"We need to be careful" advises Deanna. "That err... woman can bring a lot of problems."

------------------------

Several hours later, we arrive at the co-ordinates given by Seven. A Borg Cube appears in front of us. I recognise it as Cube 01, the one used by the Borg Queen who employs Seven of Nine.

A figure beams over.



"Greetings, Locutus, hello again Seven." she says when she sees us. "The Enterprise is going to have a very special mission. Transporting the Leader of our glorious race, the Alpha Borg Queen."

I groan. It's not going to be my day.

To be continued...

Alexander The Celebrity Chef (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

Worfie is in one of his bad moods....nothing new there. His is annoyed that because his son Alexander took part in a cooking assignment at the Enterprise school, his son now wants to be a celebrity chef!

As Worf thinks slaying Romulans and anyone else that gives him a bad hair day, we are all on our way to see Alexander's teacher Miss Forrester.

-----------

We all enter the classroom; Miss Forrester is just packing away the books.



"Hello, Lieutenant Worf, Jadzia and Alexander." she says, "What can I do for you?"

"You can begin by telling him how to slay a savage K'targh beast!" snaps Worfie, "Alexander does not need to know how to make a fairy cake and apple flan!"

"Actually, he's rather good." Miss Forrester replies, "He made a delightful chocolate sundae today, although I must admit he used a few colourful expletives to Katy, the girl he was sitting with. She went red and I had to keep him in for detention."

Alexander looks shamed.



"I wanted to be a celebrity chef." he says, "I thought swearing to a person nearby was part of the cooking procedure."

"Well it's not." Worf tells him, "When we get back, you will be punished."

"Don't be hard on him, Lieutenant." Miss Forrester pleads with him, "He's a good boy at heart, and may do very well at cooking...if he cuts the profanity!"

Worfie snorts, and we leave.

"Let me punish Alexander." I whisper, "I think I know something appropriate."

----------

We get back to our quarters.

"I'm looking forward to dinner." Alexander says to me, "What are we having, Jadzia?"

"I've no idea." I tell him, "You're doing the cooking tonight...and no using replicators!"

"But....." Alexander flusters.

"You wanted to be a celebrity chef." I say with a smile, "Now's your time to do it."

Alexander grumbles, and makes his way to the kitchen.

"....And no swearing, either!" I add.

Worfie gives me a peck on the cheek.

"Well done, Jadzia" he laughs, "You may well have changed Alexander's mind about a career in cooking."

Alexander The Celebrity Chef (Part One)

Guest poster: Worf

This week, my son Alexander begins a new school year in the Enterprise classroom.

Though he has to learn essential grammar and numbers, it alarms me that he has to master how to bake a cake. I would much prefer him to be training as a Klingon warrior by slaying monsters and Romulans in the holodeck.

"Worfie." says Jadzia, "You are being so old fashioned. Let Alexander express himself in any way he wishes. You'll be proud of him."

"I would be far more proud if he brought me the head of a savage K'tagh beast." I complain.

---------

Alexander returns from school, looking rather pleased.



"Father." he says to me, "After Miss Forrester gave us all that cooking assignment to do, I have decided that I wish to become a celebrity chef."

Jadzia barely manages to conceal her smile as I look annoyed.

"Alexander." I tell him, "You will become a Klingon warrior. Every so often you come to me with different ideas of what you want to be. Not long ago, you said you aspired to be a ballet dancer. You need a career that will unleash your Klingon fury."

"Then a celebrity chef is an ideal career, father." Alexander replies, "I've read in history books that all celebrity chefs need to do is shout and swear at anyone who enters their kitchen. In fact, I've been learning lots of new swear words to help me."

"Err....I don't think that is necessary, Alexander." Jadzia tells him, "It is not very honourable."

"That is true." I say, "Refrain from doing so...unless you are confronting a savage K'targh beast."

I tell the two of them that we are going to visit Miss Forrester, the school teacher.

To be continued...

Alexander In Love (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Worf

Jadzia and I are still stunned by the news that Alexander has asked his young Career Advisor Tanya out on a date and that she has accepted.

"What are we going to do, Worfie?" asks Jadzia, "Surely we can't let Tanya..."

"Of course not." I tell her, "Though I must admit that on the Klingon homeworld, a warrior can have such interests at an early age."

"We can't allow it here!" Jadzia insists, "Come on! Let's talk to Tanya."

We march back to the office. I'm never exactly fond of these sort of confrontations. I would rather be on Tactics against a fleet of Romulan battle cruisers.

Sitting in her office, is Tanya.



"Hello, Lieutenant Worf, Jadzia." she says.

Jadzia walks up to her and slaps Tanya on the face.

"Cradle snatcher!"" she calls out, "Trying to date a young boy like that."

It's at times like this I wish the ground would open up and swallow me.

"Whatever do you mean?" asks a puzzled Tanya.



"Don't act the innocent with me, Tanya!" Jadzia says threateningly, "Alexander has told me how he asked you for a date, you accepted, and now he says he is in love."

"Oh dear." Tanya replies, "Alexander has misunderstood everything."

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"Well." starts Tanya, "Alexander asked me if he could see me again in Ten Forward later tonight. naturally, I thought he wanted some more help with his career work, so I said yes. He never mentioned that he had romantic feelings for me. Oh dear."

"I feel that Alexander is going to suffer a broken heart, Worfie." Jadzia tells me.

"I agree." I tell her, "It is all part of growing up."

------------

Later, Alexander comes in after talking to Tanya in Ten Forward. His eyes are reddened, but he shows no sign of weakness.

"Are you all right, Alexander?" I ask.

"Yes, father." he answers, "I've decided I'm not really in love with Tanya. She is too old for me. I think I prefer the girls in my class."

He walks off with his head held high. I still hear a slight sniff.

Alexander In Love (Part One)

Guest Poster: Jadzia Dax

As Alexander will be entering a new school year soon here on the Enterprise, Worfie and I are taking him along to see the new Careers Advisory Officer, who has dropped in to talk to all the children of Alexander's age and above about what they want to do.

"I don't want to go!" Alexander says stubbornly, "It's boring!"

"You must go." Worfie tells him firmly, "How else are we supposed to forge an honourable career for you, especially if you don't want to be a Klingon warrior."

"I don't like the sight of blood." Alexander says to himself. Worf snorts in disgust.

"You do change your mind a lot about what you want." I remind him, "A while back you wanted to be a ballet dancer."

"Not now." Alexander replies, "I can get hurt too easily from the steps."

I hear another snort of disgust from Worfie.

The three of us enter the classroom where the Careers Advisory Officer is supposed to be. We see a young girl.



"Hello." I say to her, "Are you waiting for the Careers Advisory Officer as well?"

"I AM the Careers Advisory Officer." she answers with a pleasant smile, "Please call me Tanya."

"You look a little young for such a role." Worfie comments gruffily. Alexander, on the other hand, has changed his expression from boredom to very interested.

"This is my first posting as CAO." explains Tanya, "I hope you'll understand. Starfleet like to have young people in this role as they can interact more with those they have to interview."



"Yes." Alexander answers, "Don't worry, you're doing a great job."

Both Worfie and my mouth drops open at this comment.

"My." comments Tanya, "What a smart and handsome boy you have, Lieutenant Worf. I'm sure he'll do well in any career."

Alexander blushes at this remark.

The four of us then go on to discuss possible careers, but Alexander is only half listening. He has his eyes fixed firmly on Tanya, who gives him the occasional glowing smile.

"So you think you might be a writer, dress designer, theatrical producer?" Tanya says, "Well you'll have to work hard to get the qualifications."

Alexander promises he will study hard, and we chat again about various subjects. Eventually, our time is up.

Tanya bids us goodbye. As we leave, Alexander tells us that he just wants to ask Tanya something. He returns shortly, smiling.

"What did you ask Tanya, Alexander?" I enquire when we get back to our quarters.

"Oh..err..." Alexander starts to say, "Err...I asked Tanya if I could go on a date with her, and she agreed. I'm in love, Jadzia."

Both Worfie and I are too stunned to say anything.

To be continued...

Alexander's Little Talk (Part Two)

Guest Poster: Worf

Right now, I would rather be facing a fleet of Borg Cubes than the task I am about to do.

Jadzia and I are taking Alexander down to Counselor Troi's office, where she can help me talk to him about the Facts of Life. Klingons are not used to doing things in this manner, but as Alexander is on a Federation ship, this is the best way. It follows an incident where his teacher, Miss Forrester reported that Alexander tried to kiss a girl who did not like him.

-------

"Where are we going, father?" asks Alexander, as the three of us approach the doorway of Deanna Troi's office.

"We are all going to talk about a rather delicate subject." I reply.

"What is it?" he asks, "Are you and Jadzia splitting up so you can get back together with Deanna?"

"NO!" answers Jadzia sharply, "We are not splitting up. We are just seeking the Counselor's help with some issues."



"Oh." he says, "The two of you are having relationship issues and you want Deanna to help sort it out."

"NO!" exclaims an even more irritated Jadzia, "You're the issue!"

We enter the office and Deanna greets us, and we are all invited to sit down.

"Are you going to kiss Deanna, father" asks Alexander.

"No, I am not." I inform him, "We all wish to discuss the kissing that went on in the schoolroom. It was unacceptable."



"Why don't you let me handle this, Worf?" Deanna calmly informs me, then turns to my son.

"Now, Alexander, I want to have a talk with you about the facts of life, and how men and women make babies."

"Sure, Deanna." he replies, "What is it you want to know?"

Jadzia collapses in a fit of giggles, Deanna looks red-faced, and I am disgusted.

"It is us who should be informing YOU." I tell him, "Where do you pick things up."

"Well, I have been with you and Deanna, then you and Jadzia." he tells me calmly, although this produces a guilty look in all of us, "It gave me a pretty good idea. Besides that, the children in the claasroom are very worldy-wise"

We all sigh, then Deanna talks about the incident in the classroom when Emily refused to kiss Alexander, and he refused a kiss off Sharon.

"Emily is the attractive one." comments Alexander, "All the boys in class like her. I think she was just playing hard to get. As for Sharon, she will kiss anyone. I wouldn't like you to think I was someone who accepts a kiss off that sort of woman, father. I do have moral standings."

"But Emily and Sharon are only eleven years old." Deanna tells him.

"Yes." comments Alexander, "But you never know where these things leads to."

"I think Alexander has said enough, Worf." Deanna tells us, "He is quite a bright little boy with good standards. I don't think you have anything to worry about."

Jadzia and I leave the office with Alexander, and let him go back to the classroom. The two of us continue to talk.

"However did Deanna come to that conclusion." I tell Jadzia, "I'm going to keep an eye on that boy."

"Let him grow up, Worfie." Jadzia tells me, "Although I get the idea he's more grown up than a lot of the adults here."